No words could describe how I was feeling.
One of my best friends had an eating disorder and the other had fucking cancer.
I stared dumbstruck as I stared between the two.
"What?" Aryiana whispers in disbelief. "Leukemia to be exact." She says in a matter of fact tone.
Breathe Marley breathe.
My head felt thick and my throat began to give me the familiar ache. The ache that warned me that I was about to explode into tears.
I stare at Violet and she seems dazed, it was no longer alcohol that consumed her but just emotion.
How could we not see this coming?
How could I not?
"Why didn't you tell us?" Aryiana whispers and Violet breaks out into laughter.
To anyone else, it would've seemed to have come off quite rude and even bitchy but I knew that it was her covering up pain.
Laugh to keep from crying even if that meant laughing at a situation like this.
"You got some nerve." Vi mumbles.
"But this is bigger- this is-"
"Cancer. Yes. I know the magnitude of the situation. My life is at stake- I know but can you really judge me for not telling. You didn't tell. Sage didn't tell," Violet points out and theirs silence.
"So this is different." Sage interrupts and I cut in.
"Violet has a point guys. Everyone's situation is different and you all kept secrets. We doubted each other's friendship."
"That's where you're wrong. I didn't doubt the fact I would be judged for having cancer because it simply wasn't my fault." Vi says and Aryiana clears her throat.
"Listen, I didn't choose to be gay either. Like you didn't choose to be straight. It just happened, I've always been like this." Aryiana says defensively and I see that this conversation was slowly taking a nose dive.
"I didn't mean it like that Aryiana. I'm saying that you chose not tell us."
Well a point was certainly made there.
"The severity of each of your situations doesn't change the fact, no one said anything." I whisper and the bathroom door opens to reveal an administrator.
"Ladies, come on out. Homecoming court is about to be revealed." She tells us and Violet is the first to move through the door.
I look over at Sage who is not making an effort to look at me or anyone for that matter.
Well fuck.
Now what I was supposed to do? How could I approach my friends when they wouldn't allow my help?
We pooled into the gym area and gazed around at our peers.
I was looking at Violet and back over Sage who remained emotionless.
"Hey, I was looking for you. Everything okay?" Zachary asks me and I force a smile.
"Just saw my friends and things got a little bit caught up." I say with a short smile and he nods and then looks at his hand.
"Oh. Here's your drink." He says nervously and I smile.
"Thanks." I mutter and look up and see Ian's eyes on me.
He was watching me like a hawk.
"Vi." I mumble and try to get Violets attention and she frowns at me.
"What?" She growls. Suddenly we're interrupted by the class sponsor again.
"The homecoming queen this year is also another student who has been diagnosed with cancer. We admire her work in the school and has been nominated by the student council." She pauses and there is brief silence.
"The winner of homecoming queen is Violet Opal." The class sponsor announces and there is applause.
"If you'll excuse me. I have to get my cancer crown." She says in a harsh time and pushed last me. I watch as she walks up on the stage and grabs the crown and places it on her head carelessly.
"Violet would you like to speak?" The class sponsor asks and Violet rolls her eyes and grabs the mic.
"Well I don't really want to say thanks since this all out of sympathy. Please don't crown me queen because I have a life threatening illness. Why don't you give it to someone who actually deserves it?" Violet quickly says and then goes to give back the mic then grabs it back.
"And I swear, if you didn't associate yourself with me before you all knew I was diagnosed with cancer- don't do it now. I don't need any of your pity or any of your fake friendships just because you found a reason to talk to me." She finished her speech and gives the mic back and walks back down the stairs.
The crowd murmurs silently as they watch Violet March away from the area.
I take that time to meet up with her and her glare softens.
"Vi..."
"I know Marley. Out of all people- I know you know..." She says and I finally see a humbled look in her eyes.
She was acting all hard and spiteful because she didn't want to be persevered as weak. She was sick - she knew people would come to her as a sign of weakness.
Because now they had a reason to care for her existence.
People only truly care when you're gone or on your way there.
"I'm not blaming you for not telling us." I whisper and I hear the music start back up again, which took the attention off of us.
"It's not something that's really easy to bring up. I don't blame you. I'm not mad at you. And I know you'll be okay." I whisper and she smiles sadly at me.
"Marley- you're too hopeful for your own good. Even with a broken parachute, you'd still fall with a smile on your face." Violet says slowly and I see the tears gather in her eyes.
"I'll be your parachute." I whisper unsteadily.
I felt the tears coming. I felt my shell breaking.
But it couldn't be here. I wanted to take Aryiana, Violet, And Sage to my house and all of us just go home and weep together.
"You can't hold me forever. I think I'm just meant to fall." That's the last that's said before Sage and Aryiana walk up next to us.
We all stand there looking at each other while a slow song begins to play.
"Do you guys wanna come home with me?" I ask and they all nod and Sage wipes the corner of her eyes and then says, "Wait." And we look at her as she smiles slowly.
"Every homecoming, Violet always slow dances with me because no one asked me in middle school." Sage reminds and we all laugh quietly.
"Come on beauty queen. Let's dance." Violet says and takes her hand.
As usual, Aryiana and I grab hands and begin to dance with each other.
She inhales sharply and looks over at them.
"What do we do now?" She whispers and I bite the inside of my cheek.
"Just play everything by ear. Be there for everyone." I look over at her and she looks down.
"You're hiding something too." I whisper and she licks her lips and I suddenly get a gust of alcohol coming from her breath.
"You've been drinking?" I ask and she smirks.
"I took some of Violets stash. Come on, with everything that's going on. I had to have a shot of something." She says and we both chuckle.
"No. I mean something else." I say straightening my face and she swallows hard.
"Marley, don't try to figure me out like you've been trying to figure everyone else out. What I'm going through, I'll get over. I have no choice but to get over it." She says and she's stating it like she's trying to convince herself rather than me.
"I just want to be there for you." I urge and she shakes her head before I can finish the sentence.
"You can. Just be there for me from a distance." With that I keep my lips pressed together and nod.
We dance silently until the song finishes and I'm left with an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
Sage and Violet walk back over towards the door and I follow closely behind.
"Aryiana, let Sage drive because you've been drinking." I say and Aryiana groans and tosses her keys over to Sage.
"I finally get to drive the bitch-mobile." Sage says with an evil cackle and Aryiana glares at her.
"You calling me a bitch?" She asks and Sage smirks and nods. "But you're my bitch." She says in a sing song voice and plants a sloppy kiss on her cheek and Aryiana squeals.
"You are no pimp Sage." Vi interferes and Sage turns her nose up.
"Yes I am. Big Daddy Sage Enranged." She says and we laugh again.
"Oh wait. I have to tell Zach I'm leaving." I quickly say and Vi snorts.
"There Marley goes, breaking hearts and Homecoming dates."
"Oh you're a monster!" Sage shouts back and I stick my tongue out.
Now that the truth was in the air, there was no awkward tension.
It was almost back to normal. Even with secrets, we were together and that's what mattered most.
As I searched for Zach in the crowd, I turned over and saw Ms. Evelyn in the corner with Ian.
I frowned and took a step forward, getting closer until I could at least hear them.
They other side of the hallway was closed off except the bathrooms were located there as well.
I kept my back up against the wall and leaned over.
"I should've expected this shit but this is low. Even for you!" Ms. Evelyn whispered harshly and Ian stared at her.
"You knew this relationship was open. We signed no contract and gave no labels." Ian reminds her and Ms. Evelyn rolls her eyes
"I'm sorry, I thought 'Sir' and 'Sub' was a label. My fucking bad!" She said and I could see the anger in her eyes.
It was like when that boy Joey replaced all of the hand sanitizer in the teachers longer with lube.
"That's different. It was open." Ian says calmly and Ms. Evelyn scowls.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't report you to administration for sexual actions with a student."
My heart drops and I lick my dry lips.
"Because we have a deal Sarah. Besides, you'd lose your job as well and you have no proof. You just watched and didn't bother telling me until now." Ian replies.
"I didn't know how else to approach you! You better cut this shit with her now." Ms. Evelyn growls.
"Or else what?" Ian challenges and she steps to him. Putting her face in his and narrowing her eyes.
"Or else, I will." She says slowly and then backs away, stomping away and I look behind to see the boys bathroom door cracked open...
It was Zachary eavesdropping as well.
Why did this concern him?
I took the initiative to not even tell him I was leaving, I would tell him on Monday and tell him an emergency came up.
I rejoined my friends and we piled back into Aryianas car with Sage in the front.
"Marley do you have any good food at the house? I'm starving." Violet says as she lays her legs across mine.
"Of course I do. What do you feel like eating?" I ask her and she stretches, "Anything deep fried and smells like Heaven." She whispers and I smile.
"How about we order. How does that sound?" I ask and Aryiana clears her throat.
"I think we should stop by and get something to eat." Aryiana offers.
"But I don't feel like eating in." Violet objects.
"How about we go some place and eat it at my house." I ask and everyone agrees.
Sage stops at a local McDonalds and seeing that the drive thru was backed up, we walk inside.
I stay behind with Sage as we slowly walk inside, "Do you feel like eating?" I ask her and her eyes widen.
"What?" I ask, in fear that I've offended her.
"I'm surprised. My mom has been literally forcing me to eat ever since she found out." Sage says scoffing and I open the door for her to walk in. My heels now making my feet hurt.
"I'm not going to force you to do anything. Recovering is your choice and no one can make up your mind but you. And forcing will only turn you away. So I'm asking you if you'd want to eat." I say slowly and Sage frowns to herself for a moment.
"I just don't know if I'll throw it up later." She admits solemnly and my heart clenches.
Just imagining her...purging.
My best friend...
"I'll watch over you. If you get tempted. Talk me through it. I won't scold you. I won't even talk if you don't want me to. I'll just listen if that's what you need." I quickly offer.
I wanted her eating. I wanted her to get better but it has to be up to her...I can't force her.
She looks up at the menu and then back down again.
I rub her arm and just smile softly at her. I wasn't going to say anything. Just let her be where she needed to be.
I go up and quickly order a Big Mac and a large fry with a sprite while Ary and Vi ordered their food.
Sage looked at her feet and away from the food and I could almost feel her agony.
After they gave me my bag of food, I look down and quickly ordered again. The same that I had just did.
After we all retrieved our food we moved back to the car.
We turned on the radio and listened to music to fill the silence as we drove to my house.
"Jesus Christ, it feels good to take these heels off." Aryiana says as we walk through my front door.
"Tell me about it. Next school function I'm wearing my rabbit slippers and none of you can stop me." Sage says as she tosses her shoes to the side.
I smile at my friends and we walk up the stairs to my room.
"God Marley, you room is as hot as the devils balls." Aryiana exclaims and Vi snorts.
"How would you know?"
"My grandmother called me the spawn of satan when she found out I was gay. So apparently I've known since birth." Aryiana says sarcastically and we all chuckle to ignore the awkwardness.
"Marley you need to clean your room too. It smells like someone opened a can of bounce that ass." Sage says and I cringe.
Why did my room smell like death?
"Turn on the light please." I ask.
"And the AC. My boobs are sweating." Sage adds.
"TMI." Aryiana groans and Violet turns on the light.
Before my eyes can even adjust to the change.
Violet screams and I flinch back.
"What? What's wrong?" I ask as Violet points to the window.
"Oh that's fùcking disgusting." Sage whispers and I walk closer.
"Is that a snake?" Aryiana squeals and steps back.
"A dead one." I mumble and frown as I get closer and see that my window had been opened and a snake with it's head tied to it's tail had been tossed in my room.
"What the actual hell?" Vi says in an irritated tone.
"I'm just as clueless as you are!" I say and step away.
"What's wrong? I heard a scream?" I heard from the for and it's my dad. His eyes are wide and he's gazing around the room.
We all point to the window and my dad scrunches up his face.
"That's absolutely sickening. I'm going to get your mom to clean it up." My dad says and turns.
"Dad! No! You're the man. You get the dead snake. Besides, you know mom hates them." I remind and my dad scoffs.
"You know I hate them too."
I purse my lips at my dad and he rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air.
"Fine I'll get it. But I'm just saying- you're mom could handle it better." My dad says and walks towards the window.
"What makes you say that?" I ask.
"I swear your mom can communicate with snakes. She speaks parstletongue. I call her the Heir Of Slythern all the time." My dad whispers and I watch as he kicks the snake outside my window and shuts it back.
"Harry Potter reference!" Violet exclaims and we all laugh.
"Now get some febreeze or something. Your room smells like ass."
"I wonder why dad. I did just have a dead snake in here." I say and he smirks and makes his way out the door.
Aryiana sits on my small couch while I go and get one of my disinfected wipes to clean the area the snake was in.
"I swear your dad is my spirit animal." Sage says and I smile.
"Exactly. I wish my dad was that outgoing. All he does is sit on the couch and watches reruns of Family Feud." Violet groans.
"I do that on weekends." Aryiana admits.
They begin eating and I look over at Sage and pass her a McDonalds bag.
"Eat up soldier." I say with a smile and she looks down and opens the bag.
"Mother of God." She inhales and we all watch as she eats a fry.
Relief washes over us all as we watch the old Sage take over. She begins to stuff her face and I smile even more.
"Who do you think threw the snake in?" Violet asks and I shrug and take a bite of my Big Mac.
"Did you do someone dirty?" Aryiana asks me and I frown.
"No. Why?" I ask.
"Snakes represent fake people or something like that. So somebody could be giving you a code." Aryiana explains.
"Or telling you to watch your back. Bitches crazy." Sage says with a mouth full and I can't help but smile at her.
"I don't know who it would be." I admit honestly and Violet wipes her mouth.
"Be careful Marley. Messing around with that teacher. Fucking him could mean fucking with his hoes. And I really don't want have to miss a Chemo day to go beat someone's ass." Violet says with a short smile.
"When do you start?" Aryiana asks.
"In a few weeks. I'm going to go look at wigs soon too." she replies.
"Can we come with?" Sage asks and she nods.
"I was going to ask you guys." Violet admits.
"Of course we will Vi." Aryiana says with a comforting tone.
I listen to them talk, finally settled that we were all together and talking...back on good terms.
But in the back of my mind....I knew things were about to get complicated for Ian....and ultimately myself as well.
~*~*~*~*~*
Sorry for the delay.
But here you guys go! I hope you enjoyed.
The book is about to get interesting and pretty heated.
Be prepared for everything and anything.
Thank you guys for your comments, votes and reads. I'm glad you're enjoying.
If you haven't already go check out my book
Possession
She
And another book I'm currently publishing- Letters To Romeo.
No updates for the rest of the week. I'm going to be hanging out with my girlfriend in Philly. So I'll be occupied.
Anyways. I love you guys!
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