Whoa Baby.
Chapter 8- When One Chapter Ends
"Here's to the FUTURE, because I'm done with the PAST." – Unknown
The A.C. in the room had to be set to at least sixty-five degrees. It was a bit chilly, enough for me to want a sweater. The small room with egg shell colored walls only has one window, with blinds half covering the view that over looked the parking lot. The examining table I sat on, a hideous mint green polyester cushion with paper crinkling as I moved around. The room was the typical doctor smell and latex gloves. Cartoon stickers on the wall, some half pealed and ripped off.
It was quiet. Not even the sound of children crying or nurses chatting. Me and my empty thoughts; waiting. Waiting. Impatiently waiting. Biting my lips, bouncing my knee, tapping my fingers, staring at the blue specked white tiled floor. Waiting.
Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes, for what felt like a single second, then there was a knock. The door opened. In came a brunette doctor, typical white coat and clip board. Greeting me with a warm smile.
"So Paisley, with the blood work and urine sample you gave us last week we now have the results to your tests." The female doctor told me after she closed the door behind her. She sat on stool with wheels in front of me. Opening my file and reading it over. Writing some things down before looking at me. I couldn't say a word, because I knew what was coming.
"These test results are confidential unless you want me to notify your parents or guardians. So keep that in mind." She continues. "Paisley, congratulations. You're test results came back positive. You're pregnant."
Silence.
You could drop a needle in the room and be able to hear it clear as day. Tears formed in the back of my eyes, my stomach dropped, and my heart ached. The news ware no longer a surprise, it was exactly what I expected to hear, but I just hoped I'd be wrong for once.
"Do you need a moment?" The doctor asked me in a small voice. I shook my head when she put a box of tissues by my side thinking I'd need them. "Paisley, there are other options. Abortion is certainly an option because it's in the correct time range, but keep in mind because you're in the state of North Carolina, and you're still considered a minor, you need parental consent. Is that something you are considering?" She asks, humbly.
I shake my head as an answer. Not being able to speak. I couldn't bring myself to speak. "Very well then. Another option is adoption. Of course you'd need to go through all nine months of the pregnancy, but once the infant is born it'll go straight to his or hers new parents. We can give you all the information to the best adoption centers. They'll do all the work for you and choose the best parents. You could-"
"You know," I said speaking up in a small voice, thinking if I spoke any louder I'd crack and spill my tears, "It would have been more appropriate to say: unfortunately, Paisley, your test results came back positive. You're pregnant at seventeen. I wasn't trying to get pregnant so, yeah, it's not congratulations. Plan B failed and now I'm positively pregnant." I explained in a shaky voice. I shook my head pressing my lips together, "I wanted Plan B to be positive and the stick to be negative, not the other way around. The irony." I say, shaking my head as I grabbed my bag, slinging it over my shoulder and dropping my feet down to the floor.
"Paisley-" The doctor says, trying to stop me from leaving.
"Thank you doctor and yes, I want to keep this one hundred percent confidential. I don't believe in abortion and I'll need some time to sleep on the adoption idea." I tell her softly with my hand on the door knob.
"Paisley, you still need a follow up appointment." She tells me, grabbing a piece of paper and quickly writing some information down. She hands me the paper, looking me straight in the eyes, "Your tests reveal you're thirty-five days pregnant. Five weeks." She converts easily. "You need to visit one of these places for an ultra-sound in about five to eight weeks. To check the baby's heart rate, any problems, if you're having twins or more, gender; a full routine. And take this." She said giving me some flyers and packets to read over. I look over the list of hospitals and clinics she gave me.
"Can you refer me to a hospital or clinic near Ocean Isle Beach? That's where I'm spending my summer." I told her, handing her back the sheet of paper.
She nods her head, typing in her computer and then writing on the paper. She hands it to me, looking me straight in the eye again not letting go of the paper, "Good luck Paisley. You seem like a smart girl. I know you're going to make the right choices. Stay strong. Everything will be alright." She assures me, letting me have the paper now.
I nod my head, walking out the door and leaving the area. When I got to my car I threw the information packets and bag on the passenger seat roughly. I didn't feel sad, I felt angry. I felt angry at myself, JC, hormones, Plan B, everything involved in this. My tears weren't tears of sadness, they were hot tears of anger. My frustration came out on the steering wheel, banging it with my fists and accidently honking the horn which echoed loudly in the parking garage.
There was no way I was going to go through with abortion. Even though, adoption would be my second choice, I didn't think I had enough courage to do it. I would want the best for this baby no matter what, and giving it to a family that would love it unconditionally and be able to do everything for it. Have it be raised by two parents that couldn't have a kid on their own but would treat it just as if it were their own blood. I would want that for the baby. I want what's best for my unborn kid. It deserves the best. It deserves a chance. A life. If I had to do it, then I would.
*End of Flashback- Present Day*
"-Paisley is going with Zak and I'm going with Jase." Emma spoke. I blinked several times, coming back to reality. I picked up the last few words and realized that Emma was talking about prom tomorrow. "Who are you going with Miles?" She asks further, munching on some French fries.
"I didn't really want to go, but my friend Ally from French class asked if I could go with her. Just as friends. She knows purple is my favorite color so she told me we could wear purple. Kind of a deal maker for me." Miles explains.
"Paisley you're a little quiet over there. What're you thinking about?" Alice asks, sitting on the other side of the booth, diagonal from me.
"And a bit on the pale side." Miles agrees additionally. All eyes are on me as I sit up straight and wave my hands in the air dismissively. Rubbing my face and running my hands through my hair to calm down my nerves.
"Nothing, I'm just thinking about prom tomorrow. What I've got to do and when I've got to do it." I lie, stealing a fry from Emma's plate.
"You did eventually find shoes for your dress, right?" Emma freaked out.
I nodded my head only for Mile's to answer, "Found a fabulous pair at Ladies First Shoe for seventy-five percent off." He mentions, "Gorgeous am I right?" He said turning to me and nodding his head.
"It goes perfectly with the dress. I'm talking about right to the cut from the same fabric and the back of the shoe and heel and black and sparkly. It's perfect." I said, gushing over it. If one thing has been going well in my life is my shoe choice for prom.
"Oo, how tall is the heel?" Alice wondered as she picked at her salad.
"Five inches." I mumbled, "I know my feet are going to be killing me at the end of the night, but Zak is six feet tall and I'm merely five foot three. I don't want to look like I'm his kid sister." I explained further when Alice and Emma's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their eye sockets.
"Jase is five foot ten and I only got three inch heels, or something like that." Emma added, looking at her chicken caser rap with a little frown.
"Well you are, like, five foot seven already." Miles comments, eating his hamburger. The thing with Miles is, he can act like a total girl sometimes, but he still eats like a guy on the football team.
"I've been curse with such height that I cannot have the pleasure to wear heels." Emma says dramatically, eating her French fries.
"You're so blessed with such height." Alice corrects her.
"I wouldn't be talking. I'd do anything to add a couple more inches to my height." I tell Emma, stealing her fries again.
"Don't you have your own food?" She points to my plate of quesadillas.
"I'm in the mood for some fries." I tell her with a shrug. Lately I've been pigging on every horrible fatty food, which I shouldn't do if I still want to fit into my dress.
"So the party bus is set to be at my house tomorrow for six, but I'm telling everyone to be there for five or earlier so we can all take pictures. They're being really strict on wanting us at the venue at seven." Alice informs us.
Everyone nods their heads but Miles, who narrows his eyes with a desperate upset look, "Did you let Tori Johnson on the bus?"
"Yeah, Jakob Donnelly asked if there was room and I told him yes. I didn't find out until after that he asked Tori to be his date." Alice says, shrugging her shoulders and drinking her lemonade.
Miles groans, throwing his head back as he rolls his eyes, "Tori is so whiney, her voice is so high pitch, and I'll put a hundred dollars down that she wears something slutty." Miles rants.
"Actually her dress is really pretty. I was thinking about buying it until I found out she called dibs." Emma says, looking through her phone, probably to show the picture to Miles.
"Tomorrow is the start of senior week guys!" Alice brought up as Emma looked through her phone.
"I can't wait for senior sunset and senior's fun day. I want to play on some bummer boats! How fun does that sound." I say, leaning back in my seat with my cup of lemonade.
"I can't wait for graduation. Tell all you losers adios!" Emma chuckles playful looking over her phone to me.
I stuck my tongue at her while stealing a fry from her. She showed Miles the dress finally as Alice and I were still talking about getting our hair and nails done for tomorrow. "Alright guys, cheers." Alice says, holding her glass in the air. "For surviving all four years of high school, for our strong friendship, for our future, for our health, and for many, many more years to come."
"Cheers." We all say at once, smiles on our faces as we all cling our glasses together. Cheers for the future that lies ahead of us.
===
I always dreamt about the day of graduation. I thought about what dress I'd wear under my white cap and gown. What would the valedictorian would say or which teachers I'd miss the most when I shook their hand one last time after I grabbed my diploma. I hoped that everyone would make it and that it wouldn't rain like it did with the previous year of graduates. What I wished and hoped for the most, is to not to trip on stage.
After a whole week of reruns of graduation practice it was finally the big moment, the big day, the time when no one could screw up or fall out of place. It's not hard to walk together in a giant line or walk up when your name is called! Just remember who's in front of you, who's behind you and you'll never lose your place.
My class, the class of 2014, a sea of red and white, covered a majority of the football field. The bleachers were filled to capacity that people were standing on the sidelines. Photographers all up in our faces, the music coming from the band playing tremendously loud, cheering parents, siblings and other relatives. This is what I had expected at the least.
Our principal, Mr. Keene, stood at the podium in a black gown watching us all taking our seats and waving to family in the bleachers. It took quite some time but he finally got all three hundred kids to settle down and sit in their chairs so he could present his speech.
Everyone cheered Mr. Keene to the stage, though we always heard a lot of smack coming from the students that they didn't really like Principal Keene. "Good evening graduating students, teachers, parents, family members and friends. Welcome to the celebration of accomplishments from three hundred and eight of our graduating class of 2014. I'm going to make this brief, because to be honest, no one will remember this speech in ten years, or even by next week." He got a few chuckles and snickers out of that.
"I want to start off by quoting Stephen Colbert by saying: You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for yourself. There is no secret society out there that will tap you on your shoulder one night and show you the way. I believe we have given you a gift, a particular form of independence... because you do not owe the previous generation anything. Thanks to us, you owe it to the Chinese." This time he got quite a few laughs, but continued on anyways.
"The meaning of life is whatever you want it to be. Don't go living someone else's life and look for happiness and success. If you want something, you have to chase after it. In a fast-changing world, the responsibility is upon us, all of us, more than it has ever been before, to continue learning and growing. Graduates, you are, all of you, headed off to college and university, and as we are Avon High School, we are pleased and proud that you are. A college education is a very fine thing to have. But it is not sufficient. Sure, you may graduate and get your Associates, Bachelors, Masters, Doctorate degree or PhD, but that is not enough. Keep dreaming, keep setting goals for yourself, reach higher, the highest you can in life. Life, it just goes on. It doesn't stop until the day you die. It doesn't stop for anybody, so keep on going. I have one final quote I want to read off, it goes like this: Success is like a mountain that keeps growing ahead as you hike it. Congratulations class of 2014, as principal of Avon High School I'm honored to be here and to have seen you all grow and to vision the great adults you will be. Thank you."
Everyone cheered and clapped as Mr. Keene sat back in the row of important people on stage. Next went the academic, fine arts, and sport awards, given by each department head of the subject. After that never ending announcement and being presented for the high achievement in both English and history award, came the valedictorian speech. Anastasia Giannopoulos, gave a great speech, and I knew her very well. So well, that she had asked me to critic her speech a dozen times before today so I knew almost every word she was going to say.
After her speech, Mrs. Perri stood at the podium. We knew it was time. The first row stood up as she started calling off the names, JC Ace being the first one. Twenty minutes into name calling the row I sat in rose to our feet so be called. This was it, this is my time. Don't trip Paisley, don't trip!
"Marcus Cauvery, Kaylee Churchill, Morgan Churchill, Joseph Clementine, Justin Cross, Elizabeth Cronin, Miles Cullen." There was a short pause as the C's got off stage. I was the first of the D last names, so here I am, at the top of the stair of the stage, waiting for my name to be called so I can get handed my diploma. "Paisley Devoncourt." With a smile on my face I walked up to Mrs. Perri shaking her hand and grabbing my diploma from her. There's no describing a feeling like this, it's a moment you have to live and want for yourself. But I felt proud, I felt sad because I'd be leave a place I've been at for four years, my friends and even teachers that I got to like, I felt happy to say at the least, because I made it. I finally made it.
Graduation continued for another hour. More speeches were made. It wasn't until the moment of truce, the moment we all waited for, the throwing of the caps, well, of course, before we moved our tassels to the side.
Graduation is a day that ends a chapter in your life, but then a new one starts.
===
"So Paisley, where do you want to go out for dinner?" Dad asks, with his arm slung over my shoulder as we all walk to the car.
"Can we go to El Panino?" I asked with a huge smile on my face. Only on rare and special occasions did we ever go to this restaurant in the city, being so because it's a forty-five minute drive and the wait for the place is ridiculous. But it's well worth it, because the food there tasted as if you were eating right in Italy. The smell made your mouth water and your stomach gnawed at your insides.
"Oo, I think that sound like a great idea." My mother agreed, nodding her head in approval.
"Well this is a day worth celebrating, so I think a trip to the city is in order." Dad agrees, stopping our pace as we let cars go by and wait for our turn to cross the parking lot. "Are you going to invite your mother?" Dad asked mom, looking over my head to her.
"Oh yes, I said I'd bring her next time. You wouldn't mind wanting her to come Paisley, don't you?" Mom asks, pulling her phone out of her purse.
"I suppose not." I mumble. I did patch things up with my grandmother ever since Easter. My mother forced me actually. To apologize for being rude, leaving dinner and not speaking to her for weeks. But still, I didn't completely forget about what happen and I wasn't about to let it go.
"Mother." Mom calls out looking around for her. She and SJ were back a few feet holding hands as he talked about some Lego man in his hand. "Would you like to come with us to the city for dinner?" She asked, slowing her pace.
I took a deep breath as my dad used the clicker to unlock the car, "Just ignore any conversation and it'll be alright." My dad informs me. I heed his advice, opening the door to the back seat and filing in.
"Make sure you put on your seatbelt, SJ." Mom reminds him, as they get into the car. "Shawn do you remember how to get there or should I put it in the GPS?" My mother asks, once my dad turns the key in the ignition.
They talk for a while, but I ignore everyone in the car as I plug my headphone in my iPhone and turn my music all the way up. After dinner, I knew when I got home I'd have to go straight back to packing. I was easily distracted every time when I started to pack.
Graduation day had finally came, I was done with high school for good. Two months ago I could have laid out my life plan for you starting with 'well now I'm going to college to get my degree', but now, I don't know what I'd say. I don't know what will happen next.
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Chapter song: Hotel Ceiling by Rixton.
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