Pietro: Hey, sis!
Wanda: OH MY THOR!
Wanda: Is that really you, Pietro!?
Pietro: You know it, girl!
Wanda: I thought you were dead!
Pietro: That's because I am dead! (In the Marvel Cinematic Universe anyway...)
Wanda: I don't understand. How are you texting me? Why are you here?
Pietro: I came back to let you know that I am so proud of what you've become... and that I'm disappointed in you're type.
Wanda: My... type?
Pietro: Yeah. .-.
Pietro: IFALLOVERDEADANDFIVEMINUTESLATERMYSISTERISDATINGTHELOVECHILDOFULTRONAND PAULBETTANYHOWCOULDYOUDOTHISTOMEWHYAREYOUINLOVEWITHANOVERGROWNTOASTERWHATTHEFRICKISWRONGWITHYOUYOUNEEDMYHELP
Pietro: Oops. Speed-texting.
Wanda: Dude, chill out. Now I wish you really were dead.
Pietro: Ouch.
Wanda: Did you see a bright light or was it like falling into a dark abyss?
Pietro: Neither.
Wanda: Then what was it like, Poetry?
Wanda: Lol. When I tried to type your name it auto-corrected to "poetry".
Pietro: That makes sense. I am an excellent poet, after all.
Wanda: Since when?
Pietro: Roses are red, love is overrated, Vision looks like an iPod that's been mutated.
Pietro: Roses are red, so is your jacket, if Vision hurts you, I'll come at him with a hatchet.
Wanda: Roses are red, your super suit is blue, perhaps you could come up with something a little new?
Pietro: I can do haikus. But they are complicated. Your move, small sister.
Wanda: I don't feel like counting all those syllables. You win. -_-
Pietro: YES!
Pietro: So will you break up with Vision?
Wanda: I never said I was going to do that. I love him and I don't want to break his heart.
Pietro: HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A HEART FOR THOR'S SAKE! HE'S A BLOODY ROBOT!
Wanda: Android, Poetry. There's a difference, you know.
Pietro: Dude, I don't care.
Wanda: Roses are red, you've failed as a brother, Vision and I are perfect for each other.
Pietro: Whatever, worth a shot (pun not intended). I'm going back to my coffin.
Pietro: Wait till Y/N hears about this.
Wanda: Y/N already knows, ya doofus.
Pietro: ...dang it.