[April 10, 2018; Huntington Beach, California]
Dylan was asleep when he heard it. The sound of someone's notification woke him, so he grabbed his phone to see what it was. It was 7:27 a.m.
Tanner Braungardt Tweeted:
How is it possible to wake up anxious
Dylan jumped out of bed and ran toward Tanner's room. It might be nothing, considering Tanner apparently felt well enough to tell Twitter about it, but Dylan didn't take Tanner's anxiety lightly. He opened the door, and Tanner looked up and nodded at Dylan with a scared look on his face. Dylan shut the door and quickly slid into Tanner's bed, wrapping his arms around Tanner and holding him tight.
"It's OK," Dylan said in a calm, soothing voice. "I've got you. Everything is going to be all right."
Tanner's breathing was still uneven, so Dylan just continued to hold him for several minutes, occasionally repeating what he had said.
He wished he'd been there sooner. Nothing like this happened in the last couple months in Kansas after Dylan had moved in and started sleeping with Tanner - now that they were officially a couple - and maybe if Dylan had been there when Tanner woke up today, this anxiety attack wouldn't have happened. But it had only been a week since they moved into the new house in California, and Tanner wanted Dylan's side of Logan's room to look a little more lived-in in the videos before Dylan moved into Tanner's room. It hadn't been that long for Tanner to be so used to waking up with Dylan that him not being there would be a reason for Tanner to panic, but still Dylan felt responsible.
"I'm here now, Tanner," he said, trying to radiate calm into Tanner's nerves.
Dylan had been in love with Tanner for as long as he could remember, literally his entire life. It had taken so long for them to get to there, but now that Dylan had Tanner as a boyfriend, he wouldn't ever let him go. He gave Tanner a squeeze and started gently caressing him.
[one month earlier]
"What do you mean you're not sure you're gay?" Shark asked Dylan as they traveled between stops on their Northeast tour.
"I've only been attracted to one guy," Dylan explained. "Describing someone as gay suggests it's part of a pattern of being attracted to guys generally. Tanner and I have a gay relationship. We have gay sex. I have gay feelings for him. But he's still just one example, and there aren't any others, so there's no pattern."
"But you haven't been attracted to any girls either," Shark said.
"No, just Tanner."
"Ever?"
"It's always been Tanner. My whole life. It wasn't always the same, and it took me a while to understand that's how I felt, but I was always in love with him. I don't have any memories before that."
"So it was like love at first sight, on the first day of kindergarten? Or whenever it was that you met?"
"Yeah, basically."
"That sounds pretty gay to me. And you've never even looked at anyone else?"
"I knew what I wanted."
"Wow. She's different all right."
"I think you're lucky," said Z. "Finding your soul mate so early."
"Thanks, I am," Dylan agreed.
"What about a guy who looked like Tanner?" Shark suggested. "A cute little blond twink with tight abs, perfect cheekbones and a killer smile. Would you be attracted to him?"
Dylan shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm sure we could find plenty of examples online. Have you never looked at porn?"
"I have over a thousand naked pictures of Tanner on here," Dylan said, holding up his phone, "and he's filmed pretty much everything we've done at some point. Why would I go looking for imitation Tanner porn when I already have the real thing?"
"Well, is there anything you and Tanner haven't done that you want to? That would be a reason."
"Hmm. I suppose there is."
* * *
Tanner woke up a second time after falling back to sleep in Dylan's arms. Everything was so much better. The California sun was shining - it might have been before, but this time Tanner noticed - and morning wood was steering his thoughts in a happier direction. He felt Dylan's hand stroke across his shoulder and realized, though they'd shifted positions, Dylan was still in comfort mode. Time to let him know the coast was clear. Tanner reached down for Dylan's dick and started bringing it to life.
"Oh hey," Dylan said. "Feeling better?"
Without letting go, Tanner turned around and planted a kiss on Dylan's lips. "I love you."
"I love you too, Tanner."
"I don't know where I'd be without you."
"Me neither. And you'll never have to find out."
"I'm going to need your underwear to come off."
Dylan obliged. After another quick peck, Tanner turned his attention downward to the warm flesh in his hand. My boyfriend has a nice dick, Tanner thought. How have I not noticed that before? But then back when this started, I never thought I'd hear myself say that.
[August 2013; Augusta, Kansas]
While playing in the pool in Tanner's backyard, Tanner and Dylan's lips brushed. For each it was their first kiss. Wondering if it may have been accidentally-on-purpose, Tanner kissed Dylan again, and Dylan kissed back.
I knew it! Tanner thought. It was worth having his second and third kiss also be with Dylan to confirm the crush he suspected. There was no one else in the backyard, but Tanner wanted more privacy for what he was starting to plan. "Let's go inside."
Without much time to dry off, Tanner led Dylan down to his room. They kissed for a little longer this time. After breaking the kiss, Tanner stepped back. He looked up and saw Dylan beaming. Tanner smiled back.
"That was nice, wasn't it?"
Dylan nodded.
"My first kiss. Yours too?"
Dylan nodded.
"Are you glad it was me?"
Dylan hesitated, then nodded again. Tanner smiled at the silence, understanding it would be hard for Dylan to talk about this. Tanner judged he was ready to go further.
"Do you want to see it?" he asked, casting his eyes downward. Dylan cocked his head, and that was enough encouragement for Tanner, who dropped his swimsuit. Dylan stared in amazement at the beautiful boy in front of him.
"If you wanna touch it, go ahead. It's OK. Come closer."
Dylan reached out and touched Tanner's penis and held it as it started to grow in Dylan's hand.
"Looks like he likes you," Tanner smiled.
Tanner's equipment wasn't nearly as big back then as it is now, but in Dylan's estimation he was pretty hung for someone who had just turned 13.
With Tanner's encouragement, Dylan began to stroke, slowly at first, then picking up the pace and continuing for a few minutes until Tanner came. Dylan smiled.
"That was really good, Dylan." Tanner smiled back and, wanting to end it on a high note for Dylan, stood on his tiptoes to kiss Dylan one last time for the day.
"OK, Dylan, so I have some good news and bad news for you. The bad news is I'm not gay, so I'm not going to be your boyfriend or anything. The good news, I don't know if you are, but I'm your best friend and I'm going to help you figure it out. And I'm pretty open to experimenting."
Tanner got dressed, Dylan changed, and without another word they went back to working on the puzzle they had started before getting in the pool.
* * *
That set the tone for the relationship in a lot of ways, Tanner realized. He got off, Dylan didn't, but he felt like he was doing Dylan a favor - and they were both happy. But even in the last few months since he'd started making an effort to reciprocate, he hadn't noticed how much there was to appreciate about Dylan's body. This moment felt like a new beginning for Tanner. Slowly rubbing at Dylan's dick, Tanner was so focused he was practically mesmerized.
Abruptly he stopped. "Can you hang tight for a minute? I need to set some cameras up."
"Sure," Dylan drawled. He trusted Tanner even though he sometimes pushed the boundaries of Dylan's comfort zone. And as he'd told Shark and Z, Tanner's penchant for filming things they did together had supplied him with an impressive library of jerk-off material. At least we don't have an audience for this, Dylan thought.
[one month earlier, later the same night; Philadelphia]
"Are you ready to start checking out pictures of hot guys? There's no way Tanner can be the only one you're attracted to."
"Hold on, Tanner just texted. He wants to know if I'm going to be ready to FaceTime soon. He's probably going to be naked, so I should find somewhere private to take it."
"Not like we haven't seen that before. You two put on quite a show for us here on the RV last month."
Dylan blushed. "Tanner has a way of talking me into things I wouldn't normally do. I can't really say no to him."
"I'm sure he's never taken advantage of that," Shark joked. "I still can't believe he made you blow him in front of four other guys. But he wasn't exaggerating about how great you were, from the appearance of it. That was as hot as any porn I've seen."
Dylan was really blushing now.
"Sorry to embarrass you. Do I have to walk to Kansas now?"
"I won't tell him."
"Thanks. You know he's just proud of you, right? And obviously really proud of that monster in his pants. Most people would have a harder time taking it."
"I'm just used to it, I guess. We've been doing it for a long time."
"Just you?"
Dylan nodded.
"And you're OK with that?"
"Uh, I mean, I like it. It's not how I would have pictured it. But I love Tanner and I want him to be comfortable too. I wouldn't mind if things were different, but I'm not unhappy. Just being with him is what's important to me."
"I think he feels the same way. I'm sure he wishes he could be more open about it. That's probably why he's a little extra around those of us who know."
Dylan smiled. "Thanks."
"OK well I guess you shouldn't keep your naked boyfriend waiting."
* * *
"OK Dylan, all ready," Tanner said as he finished getting the cameras in place and got back into bed. "I'm about to give you something I want to make sure you never forget. Normally I like to try something a few times to make sure we're comfortable with it before getting it on video. I don't know if I know what I'm doing, but I don't know how long it'll be before it happens again, and I don't want to make you wait that long. Get out your phone so you can record some of it from your point of view, but don't worry too much about that. For the most part I want you to just enjoy it."
Tanner shifted his focus back to Dylan's dick, leaned in and resumed touching it, getting back to where they were when he interrupted things. He looked up at Dylan with a hunger Dylan had never seen before and shot a wicked grin at Dylan's camera. Then he looked back down, parted his lips and took Dylan's penis into his mouth for the first time.
The look on Dylan's face was one they would both be glad to have saved for posterity. The sensation was terrific, but more than that, it was knowing that Tanner wanted him this way that sent Dylan to heaven.
[October 2013; Augusta]
Tanner and Dylan were cuddling on Tanner's bed, as they'd been doing somewhat regularly the past couple months, whenever Tanner was in the mood for it. Dylan was mostly dressed but Tanner just had underwear on.
"You know how I want to help you through this, Dylan? Well I've been doing some research on what it's like to be gay, and I wanted to tell you what I found. There's a lot of depression. From what I can tell, gay teens are sad because they're in love with their best friends and want their dicks, but their best friends are straight. And I'm still not seeing what the problem is, because I bet a lot of those guys would be willing to mess around for fun to help out their friends, like I am. But the gay guys are afraid of losing their best friends, so they don't say anything and try to hide how they feel. Isn't that awful?"
"Mm-hmm."
"I get depressed just thinking about it. I'm really proud of you for having the courage to kiss me in the pool. Now I can make sure that never happens to you."
Dylan nestled his head against Tanner's chest to show appreciation. "You're the best best friend I could have."
"I love you, Dylan." No need to add "as a friend." He knows what I mean.
Dylan smiled. "I love you, Tanner."
They were quiet for a few minutes as they enjoyed the moment. Then Tanner decided it was time for the next phase of his plan.
"You know, you could put your hand down my pants if you want."
Dylan hesitated, then inched the hand that was resting on Tanner's abs toward his waistband, and hesitated again before sliding in. Dylan began to regain familiarity with the feeling of Tanner's dick in his hand. Tanner started to bone up. Dylan smiled and continued his exploration until Tanner became excited.
"Take 'em off!"
Dylan pulled his hand out and lifted his body off of Tanner's in order to use both hands to pull down Tanner's underwear. Dylan glanced admiringly. It was nice to see what he'd been touching.
"Go ahead and take a closer look."
As Dylan bent his head down into the area of Tanner's crotch, he became intoxicated by the smell. He breathed it in and stared at the source of it.
"Do you want to taste it?"
Dylan leaned closer, stuck out his tongue and took a lick. Then another. He glanced up to check Tanner's reaction.
"If you want to suck it, now's your chance."
Dylan took a breath, opened his mouth and took the plunge. He slowly adjusted to the feeling of Tanner filling his mouth. Then he started to explore with his tongue and inner cheeks. It felt good. He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to be doing, but he was enjoying his exploration. As his doubts crept in, he looked up at Tanner for guidance.
"You're doing fine, Dylan. Take all the time you need to get used to it. When you're ready, try moving your mouth up and down like this," demonstrating the motion. "You can also use your hand."
Dylan took the instruction and started to bob his head on Tanner's dick. As he got the hang of it, Tanner gave him encouragement. After several minutes, Dylan realized he was getting hot from the constant motion. He wished he'd taken his shirt off, but he didn't want to stop long enough to do that. He kept going even though he was burning up.
"It won't be long now. You're going to make me cum."
Dylan realized he was excited about having Tanner cum in his mouth. It gave him the motivation to power through the heat. After another minute, it happened. Dylan got his first taste of Tanner's cum and was immediately hooked. Dylan didn't have any other examples to compare it to, but it was much sweeter than most guys' would be if he did.
Tanner was breathing hard as Dylan continued to suck out every last drop.
"Dylan!" Tanner waited for Dylan's eyes to meet his. "We are definitely doing that again!"
* * *
And they did, frequently, over the past four and a half years. Now they were experiencing it from the other side as Tanner sucked Dylan. It was hard to think about much other than how great Tanner's mouth felt on him, but Dylan remembered all the times Tanner told him he could ask for anything he wanted, and all the times Dylan thought about asking for this. Why didn't I? Whatever Tanner said, Dylan always felt there were limits implied by the ways Tanner had defined the relationship. Even after Tanner agreed to be Dylan's boyfriend, not much had changed. But that didn't matter now. This was happening, and Dylan's thoughts were soon drowned out by the feelings Tanner was giving him.
When Dylan came, Tanner was surprised at how much he wanted it. He lapped it up eagerly. If I'd known I was going to like this, I would have done it ages ago. After swirling it around to savor the taste, Tanner swallowed.
"Dylan, we are definitely doing that again!"