The car rumbles on, the quietness suddenly deafening. I wish Emil was still in the car so I didn't feel completely alone and exposed after what he did.
Chanel pulls up the TMZ website on her phone and begins reading out loud.
"According to a reliable source, rapper, Prodigy and close friend Emil Valdez were seen leaving Atlanta's Performance Theater late Saturday night after a show. The dynamic duo Cocoa-Yeena are seen snuggled up to the rapper who very recently released a project based on his relationship with singer and rapper, Chanel Little. Sources say, the four headed back to the Hilton hotel and weren't heard from for the rest of the night. Yikes." Chanel finishes with a loathing expression on her face.
"I understand how this all looks and sounds." I keep my eyes on hers and I feel that she still does not see me.
"How do you get in these predicaments? How are you placed in these situations?" Her shoulders move up then fall as her sentence ends.
"I was really tired of those girls, the moment they came into the dressing room." I admit.
"They were the girls in the dressing room? So y'all were hanging out, basically after I told you I wasn't comfortable with that ." She concludes.
"Briefly but only because Emil wanted to hangout with them. This was all against my will and I didn't want to kill his party. I was just going along with it but you're right I should have said something." I comment, hoping she might understand and give me a break.
"And then you got this picture floating around with their breasts all up on your arm. It just looks so bad. I don't think you understand how bad it all looks. Cause you're just going to look like a dog, and men can look like that without problem . But women are going to look stupid. We always look stupid when y'all do some dumb shit."
The car bobs and weaves and I stay silent to give her sometime to cool down. Fear sets in that maybe this allotted time isn't working and she's just getting more and more upset as her brain works.
"Why didn't you tell me you had girls at the hotel. Why did I have to find out from the press? Why did I have to find out about a collaboration with you and Mila from Mila. Why do you keep these things from me like it won't suddenly get out?" Her voice is soft and wondering, I suddenly feel like a piece of shit but none of these situations were meant to hurt her.
"I was going to tell you, Chan." I start.
"Yea." She nods, fed up with my response. It's been the response the last few weeks. I understand why she would rather not hear.
I stop talking.
"Who's this Cocoa girl? Do you like her?" She questions.
"Of course not. Emil liked her friend. They had sex in the room and Cocoa and I went out on the balcony." I say telling her everything she needs to know before she finds out another way.
She sighs something loud.
"What happened on the balcony? Tell me everything, Trev" She sighs.
"Nothing, we just talked about the struggles of being up and coming artists. She was telling me how her Father left and she's been having to take care of her brother and Mom." I respond.
Chanel's face looks indifferent.
"I'm sorry for how it all looks but between us, baby- Can you just look at me for a second." I ask in my softest voice.
Chanel turns her head towards me but her eyes are staring down at my phone on my lap. Finally, her eyes look up to mine.
"Between you and I, nothing happened with me and this girl. I wanted to go to sleep the entire time. I know I had to be up for this flight. I was going to tell you everything as soon as we landed but we got bombarded with papa-"
"Let me see your phone." Chanel interrupts. Was she ever listening?
I hand my phone to her having nothing at all to hide.
She scrolls through whatever she wants. Text messages, instagram, and snapchat. She hands the phone back to me. I'm not sure what she was looking for but she looks relieved that she didn't find anything. She closes her eyes and lays her head back on the car seat. She stays like that for the duration of the ride.
_________________________________
The house is quiet.
Complete silence for 3 hours, to the point where I think maybe Chanel has passed out in the bedroom. I turn on the living room TV and make sure the volume is barely audible to me. My face flashes on to TMZ with a cut out picture of Coca and then the instagram picture with her pressed against me.
"And this just in. It seems there is new info on Prodigy and his Atlanta friend. Sources tell us an amount of $1,000 was wired to Cocoa last night to conclude what seems to be a great time. Is Cocoa an up and coming artist or an escort?" The reporter laughs.
My heart sinks to the floor.
"Chanel is not gonna be happy to hear this." One of the other reporters tease.
I turn off the TV and the place is dark aside from the lamp next to the couch.
I feel her presence there before she speaks.
"Turn it back on, Trev." She croaks.
"Chanel, listen to me." I plead, rubbing my eyes.
"One thousand dollars?" Her voice raises in anger. "FOR WHAT?"
I get up and walk over to her, there are tears in her eyes already . Her face looks confused. The silk night gown hangs off of her shoulder and her hair looks frazzled.
"I felt like she needed the money, Chan." I sigh looking into her eyes.
Tears roll down her cheek and she looks at me in disbelief.
"And suddenly you have to save her?" She questions lost.
"Her Family is struggling to stay above gro-"
"Everyone in the ghetto is fucking struggling. Are you going to give everyone one thousand dollars? Or just this girl you brought back to the hotel, probably to fuck!" She screams and her hand motions to the TV.
"I did NOT fuck this girl." I yell back.
"I asked you to tell me everything and you forget the part where you give her money after a night at a fucking hotel. Why do I keep getting blind sided by the fucking media when my boyfriend is RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?" She wipes her eyes and nose. I move closer to her and she pushes me away so hard that I have to find my balance.
"Did you fuck her, Trev?" She questions as calmly as she can muster.
"No, Chanel. No. No. NO." I say again and again.
"You're the only one I want. You've always been the ONLY one I wanted." I say hoping she will believe me just this once.
"You didn't fuck her?" Chanel questions again staring into my eyes.
I watch the water spill out of hers onto her cheek and neck.
"No." I say again.
"Call her." Chanel demands. Her voice is broken, her eyes look sunken in from crying.
I take out my phone and realize that I never got her number.
"I can't call her. I dont know her-"
"Trev, get her on the phone. I don't care how."
I pull up Cocoa's instagram and hit video chat. It rings out before the call ends.
"Again." Chanel says, folding her arms acorss her chest.
I hit call again.
"I didn't do anything with this girl. Why can't you trust me?" I say as it rings out a second time.
"Again." She sniffles and begins crying a little harder. I watch her face. I recognize it as the same face she had right after she listened to the leaked tape. The same hurt somehow present but this time in vain.
I hit call one more time. Cocoa answers on the first ring. Her bright eyes flash into the screen, she seems to be in a dimly lit room.
Chanel stops crying, she seems to have stopped breathing.
"Hello?" I speak first.
Chanel watches me intently and I watch the phone.
"Hii, Baby." Cocoa croaks seductively.
Chanel sinks to the floor, her face in her palms. She weeps silently.
"Cocoa what are you talking about? What are you doing?" I question both hurt and confused.
Cocoa laughs.
"I had a great night." She smiles deviously. "Are you calling cause you're ready for round 2?"
"Nahh, you're not deadass right now. You're really gonna play this game? " I question completely taken aback. I watch Chanel break into pieces before me. Her body shaking. Anger builds inside me for ever being so naive. This game is something more cruel than I could have imagined. She seemed like such a genuine person.
"What are you talking about?" She laughs cutely. She makes sure her breasts are very present in the video chat. Hard nipples poking through a white V neck shirt.
"Please don't act like something actually happened between us, please don't be that girl." I rub my eyes and move my hand to my head, stress suddenly taking over my body.
"Please don't be that guy and act like something didn't. " Cocoa says aggressively. She is a great actress. I'll give her that.
"Why are you doing this? For your 15 minutes of fame?" I yell into the phone.
"That's real fucked up. You're a real fucked up person." I have to laugh.
"You know, it's just like niggas. Put your dick where you want then attempt to not deal with the consequences." She says to my complete disbelief.
"Holy shit. Are you really that fucking crazy?"
Chanel grabs the phone from my hand and ends the call.
"Get out." She can barely get the words out over her tears.
"Chanel she's fucking lying! She's LYING!" The urgency in my voice is chilling because I know Chanel won't believe a word I'm saying.
"Get out, Trev."
"Chanel!"
"Get the fuck out!" She cries something broken.
"Get the fuck out!" She yells again, this time more bass in her voice.
She throws my phone against the wall and the screen shatters into pieces. She marches up the stairs and I hear quick breathes and whimpering before I see my big black suitcase whirling down the stairs inches away from my face. It lands on the wheels, dents the floor and rolls into the glass on the bottom half of the door, shattering it.
"Get out!" It's a roar now. I stand in place in complete shock.
She continues throwing down clothes and shoes until there's nothing left.
I run upstairs before she can close her bedroom door and catch it before it slams.
"Chanel stop!" I fight to get in and she gives up battling my strength.
"Baby, pleaseee believe me. " I say as the door slams open. My voice is pleading.
"If I did something I would have told you. I owe you honesty. I would have told you. Please." I speak over her hurtful words she has begun launching at me.
She stands in the far corner of her room, as far away from me as she can get. She sinks to the floor and cries. Her legs pulled to her chest, her face in her hands.
"Just leave me alone." I can barely make out her words.
"Baby, I didn't do it." I say again and again.
I walk over to her and wrap my arms around the small ball she's curled into.
"Please believe me, Chanel." I beg.
"Leave me alone, Trev. I'm done." She breathes.
" You have no trust in me at all. Are you deadass right now?" I ask suddenly feeling betrayed.
The doorbell rings and I look back at the room door lost.
Her watering eyes and flushed face look up at me.
"Security will escort you out." She breathes.