It was my mother who told me, and as a punishment she had to stop me endlessly while I was falling on the ground. She didn't know when it would happen, even I didn't know exactly, but, without my being able to do anything, his memory sometimes came back in my mind. Liam appeared in my head emerging from the flat sea in my brain and caused a storm of sickness, like a paper boat my common sense was soaking and sinking. I got angry with my stubborn body that couldn't run by Liam, I forced it to get up pushing up myself with the bit of strength that remained in my arms and I always came with my nose two centimeters from the floor, until my mother saved me. I was almost happy to see her fear, I hated her for breaking my world, and I thought it was right that she also had some pain. Liam had left without telling me anything and without messages, and I wasn't able to find his new address, he had abandoned me.
Every thought of mine was tied with loneliness, every sentence or situation seemed an offense to my condition, I wanted the world to live with the thought of my bad luck and I raged when it was forgotten. I became biting and touchy, my brain was full of tense strings snapped by every clumsy movement. The tears were always ready to go out, on the edge of the cliff I got used to seeing the world in half.
I often forgot to thank the fate that kept me alive, I couldn't think of every day as a gift, I wanted everything to end, but my body was so weak that it couldn't even hurt itself. I could no longer see the wonderful painting in the world, its perfumes annoyed me and I wanted to see nothing.