You deserve nothing but great things
I am glad I met you
You need to stop torturing yourself
'Sir' I heard someone call out and I was brought back to the reality. I looked to the side and saw one of my students, Hadia standing outside of the office, looking my way. I got up the seat to find out the reason of her visit.
'Sorry...I just wanted to ask about Ayat. I am trying to contact her for some time to discuss about our group assignment, but she is not responding back. I can't do all the work by myself' She complained.
'You don't have to. You can join Junaid's group. Connect with him next week.' I told her, and she walked away. Ayat was absent for weeks. Her father passed away three days after being admitted to the hospital due to severe internal bleeding. The last time I saw her was at her father's funeral and after that, I couldn't get myself to go and see her. While her father was admitted to the hospital, we spent a lot of time together. I felt a strange pull towards her and I couldn't bear to see her alone. At the funeral, I found out about her engagement and that cleared out every single ounce of feelings that were raised in me towards her. Maybe just seeing her under such devastating time softened my heart towards her but at the funeral, seeing her with her fiancé it all vanished. All except the words she said to me.
'Staying late today?' Karim entered the office and handed me my coffee.
'Thanks...yeah, there isn't much to do here anyway...might as well finish my work ' I told him.
'Why don't you come with me to go see Ayat? Mama wanted to go and check on the girls. I didn't really get a chance to go and meet them either after the funeral. It'll be nice' He offered me.
'I have some stuff to do so I don't think...' I started.
'Like what? You just said there isn't much to do here' He eyed me.
'Laundry' I couldn't think of anything else.
'You are coming with us' He ended the conversation from his end and went back to working on his computer while I mentally slapped myself from not thinking of a decent enough excuse to avoid going to Ayat's house.
'You didn't have to bring all this aunty' Ayat looked at Karim's mother as she sat down next to her. She was dressed in a plain light green dress. Her hair was neatly tied in a knot. She looked put together yet so broken. Her eyes looked tired and heavy. She seemed so exhausted and I couldn't stop looking at her.
'You look so weak dear' Karim's mother reached out to her and caressed her cheeks. The tears started to build up in Ayat's eyes and my heart twitched. Seeing her so hopeless made me feel helpless.
'You're okay?' Karim elbowed me, and I shifted my attention to him. He caught me looking at her.
'I don't think so' I answered truthfully.
'How is Haya?' I asked her, and she finally looked at me.
'Okay,' She lied and looked down immediately.
'Where are you going?' Karim asked her just as she got up from her seat.
'I'll be back...I won't take long' Ayat left the room and I saw her going to the kitchen.
'I am going to go check on Haya' Karim's mother excused herself and left to go see Haya.
'Go and talk to her' I heard Karim say and I turned my head to face him.
'Why?' I asked him.
'Because you want to, you are constantly staring at her since we got here. Either don't stare at her or go and talk to her already...you are being creepy' Karim took out his phone and went outside in the yard to call someone.
'Can I get some water?' I entered the kitchen and found Ayat looking out the window. She almost jumped when she heard my voice.
'Sorry I didn't mean to...' I approached her, but she walked in the opposite direction to get the glass.
'Here' She quickly filled the glass with water and passed it to me. My eyes went straight to her hands and I noticed that she wasn't wearing any ring.
'Where is your ring?' I couldn't help but ask. She looked surprised at my question.
'Sorry?' She asked.
'Engagement ring' I pointed out and rested the glass on the counter table.
'It doesn't fit right' She moved to the side to turn off the stove and started pouring tea into cups.
'What about him? Does he fit right?' I blurted out and she lost her grip and the hot tea splashed on her hand. I quickly grabbed her hand and put it under cold running water.
'Be careful' I said to her and examined her hand. Thankfully she didn't get any serious burn.
'I am fine' She snatched her hand from me and turned off the tap.
'I think you should go outside in the living room...everyone must be wondering where you are' She distanced herself from me and started blocking me off again.
'I am sorry if my question bothered you.' I looked at her when she turned her back on me.
'Why are you apologizing to me Mr.Hamza? Why are you here?' She asked me.
'What are you talking about?' I walked closer to her so I can look at her properly.
'You didn't come here to get water, did you? Why are you actually here Mr.Hamza?' She crossed her arms over her chest and questioned me.
'I wanted to see if you are okay' I confessed.
'And what do you see? Do I look okay to you? And while you're at it why don't you tell me how I should be looking after weeks after losing my father in an accident where he wasn't even a driver. My sister has locked herself in her room for days and is hardly eating...does that make you happy? Are you satisfied now?' Tears fell down her eyes and she let out all the emotions she was holding back.
'Satisfied? Do you think seeing you like this will satisfy me? Is that how you see me? Do you think I came here to laugh at your condition? Seeing you like this is hurting me so much...much more than I ever care to admit but I can't help it. You messed me up so bad Ayat. I can't think straight when it comes to you. I want to stay away from you but the minute I see you I can't help but look at you or talk to you. I am out here trying to see if you are holding up okay after your father's passing but sadly I am not sure if I am okay either after seeing you so broken' My eyes stayed on her and her on mine the entire time.
'Hamza!' Karim called out as he got back inside the house. When my eyes returned to her after turning around to check on Karim, I found her few feet away from me, she was avoiding eye contact with me. She didn't know what to do after what just happened. I had no idea either. I walked back to the living room and saw Karim waiting for me by the main door.
'You look like you hit a deer' Karim said.
'Don't' I warned him and sat down. I was so confused. I didn't know what we were anymore. I didn't know what she wanted, or what I wanted for that matter. What kind of sense did it all make? Zero.
Hours passed rather quickly after Karim's mother joined us for tea. Karim and Ayat mostly talked about work and other things, whereas Karim's mother mostly asked her about her going to be in-laws. Ayat seemed unsettled when Karim's mother asked her about Zaid, her fiancé. Damn. I hated this word.
'So, he still wants to wait until you graduate?' Karim's mother asked her about the marriage.
'We didn't talk about it' She simply replied. She mostly kept her answer rather short when it came to her fiancé. After hearing her talk about him, I realized she didn't know much about him. Did she even like him?
'I didn't see him do much during the funeral. He left before most of the guests, he didn't feel like family' Karim's mother said straightforwardly.
'Mama...please' Karim told her mother to stop. Karim's mother was old fashioned, and I could see she didn't approve Zaid for Ayat.
'It's getting pretty late, I think we should get going. Come for dinner sometime Ayat once Haya starts feeling a bit better?' Karim said on our way out. She just nodded in reply.
'Take care dear...call me if you need anything' Karim's mother hugged her again and walked to the car along with Karim.
'Take care' I glanced at her before walking away. I got in the car and saw Karim grinning at me. I wanted to smack the back of his head but didn't act on it.
'I feel so bad for her...poor girl doesn't have anyone. I thought her finance and her in-laws will be there for there, but she is doing everything on her own' Karim's mother started the same discussion minutes after we got in the car. Karim was giving me a ride home.
'When did she get engaged?' I asked her.
'Not too long ago. She got engagement because of her mother, her mother was very ill, so she ended up fixing her marriage with one of her friend's son' She informed me. Ayat must have loved her mother a lot to sacrifice her own life to respect her mother's wishes.
'So...she doesn't like the guy?' I asked her.
'Now that's a bit hard to say' She replied. Yes, it was. Only she knew the answer to that question and I was getting too keen on finding that out myself.
I laid down on the bed after taking a nice hot shower. I closed my eyes and tried to get myself to sleep but failed. The answer was obvious. The image of Ayat and her teary eyes kept appearing in front of me. I couldn't erase her image. My mixed emotions towards her, my protectiveness, my wariness, and concerns were all confusing my thoughts. Just days ago, I was devastated over the news of my ex-fiancé's marriage and now all I was wondering about was Ayat. Was falling out of love and starting to feel some kind of a connection towards someone else this fast even normal? Was it even a smart idea to start feeling some type of way towards someone who is already in a relationship? No, it wasn't then what was all this crap? Why was it so hard for me to hold myself back when it came to her? Just then my phone rang and saw that it was my mother calling.
'How are you Ma?' I answered.
'I am good, just finished packing for your father's trip tomorrow' She reminded me. He was leaving again for a conference.
'That's work on steroids. Tell him to take a vacation already' I told her.
'Speak for yourself. You are just like your father' She repeated her favorite sentence.
'Come here for a few days' I proposed the idea.
'That's a first. Is everything okay?' She asked me.
'What's a first?' I was confused.
'You inviting me to come over there. Otherwise, it's usually me who tries to self-invite myself to come to see you and you always find some excuse to stop me from coming there' She said.
'That's not true. You know I miss you guys...it's just I am mostly busy with work and there isn't much to do here beside sightseeing.' I got up and started on the laundry.
'Tooba came over today' She said to me and I waited for her to continue. This call felt suspicious because Mama usually doesn't call this late in the evening. I should have known something was wrong.
'She told me about the invitation and about your friend she spoke to' Mama told me.
'Why did she even come over? She is...what is her issue?' I got so upset after hearing this.
'Calm down...don't get too upset. She didn't say anything else and I didn't call to inquire about anything. If you don't want to share anything that's fine. I just wanted to let you know in case she calls you and mentions the visit. I didn't want you to find this out through her' Mama told me.
'I don't get her. She did everything secretly and now that she is married she wants to renter in my life. I want her gone.' I told her as I sat on the bed again.
'She was probably just curious about the girl she spoke to' Mama hinted. She wanted me to tell her about Ayat.
'It's nothing really. Ayat, she is one of my students. I was giving her a ride home when Tooba called and Ayat ended up answering the call. That's it' I told her.
'Okay,' She said after hearing my explanation. I had a feeling she wasn't quite convinced with my answer, but I was glad she didn't push me to provide more information. We moved on to talk about other things.
'Looks like Dad needs you' I told Mama after I heard Dad calling out her name.
'He misplaced his file again...okay, I am going to go help him. Take care okay?' We ended the call and after I finished with the laundry, I picked up a book from the side table and started reading, hoping to keep myself distracting until I get too sleepy that I don't think about anything else. At last, the time came where I could no longer keep my eyes open and was finally able to sleep. Though the thoughts of her invaded in my dreams.
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Hey babes
Hope you'll are doing very well. If you liked this chapter please don't forget to vote and leave a comment. See you all next week. Bye for now.