The next morning Creed woke up slowly, groaning softly under his breath. The pain was less than the day before, but it hadn't left. He glanced blearily to the left to see the medic's already had the morphine cranked to it's highest setting. He couldn't have any more without ODing, which meant he'd have to push through the pain.
He closed his eyes for a moment before feeling some movement at his side and he cracked his eyes, looking over as Chaos woke up as well, yawning and pressing deeper into Creed's side. That caused his ribs to shift a little but Creed suppressed the moan of pain and just wrapped his arm around Chaos tighter. He slowly reached up to rub through Chaos perpetually wild hair and smiled a little.
"H-Hey vod'ika..." he whispered softly, watching as Chaos lifted his head and rubbed at his eyes. The boy looked up at him, yawning again and starting to sit up.
"Creed?" he asked, blinking away sleep as he sat up. Creed nodded quietly and smiled at him.
"Yeah, it's me," he said. "Tired much?"
Chaos nodded and rubbed his face before he looked around the room. He looked at the time and his eyes widened a little as he then started off the bed but paused and turned back to hug Creed loosely.
"I have to go, I have training," he said.
Creed wrapped his arm around him in return and kissed his head, ruffling his hair. That earned a slightly annoyed sound of protest from Chaos but Creed did it anyway.
"Go on, I'll be here when you come back," he said, only hoping he could keep that promise. He didn't seem to be the best at remembering things lately, but he thought he could hold out a few hours at least till Chaos was on break and could maybe come see him.
"I'll come to see you every chance I get," Chaos promised and pulled back, heading quickly for the door. Creed smiled and nodded, watching him leave. Then he leaned his head back, reaching to rub his head. The headache seemed to have subsided and he could think clearer now, but there was still a bit of a dull throbbing at the back of his skull.
He was about to close his eyes to try and rest a little longer when he heard the door irs open and he looked up some to see a couple of medics entering the room. Immediately he felt the need to run, fear cropping up in the front of his mind again. He could hear a small voice starting to whisper and he closed his eyes, shoving the voice back and trying to drown out his fear. Yes, he didn't like the medics much, but they weren't here to kill him. If they were they would've done it already.
"He's doing better than last night. His vitals seem to have calmed down. I'm not sure if we should leave him loose, though," one of the medics said. Creed cracked his eyes some, listening to the conversation between the two.
"He's a lot calmer now, but I see what you mean. After last night, it might be safer."
One of the medics glanced over and seemed to notice Creed was awake. A brief look of fear crossed his face before he timidly moved over to speak to Creed.
"Hey, your vitals are better. If you stay here you should finish healing in a few weeks, but..."
Creed searched the man's face, glancing at the other medic as well. Both of them looked scared of him, almost like they were ready to run at a moment's notice.
"W-What h-happened last night?" Creed asked after a long moment, frowning softly. "I-I c-can't remember..."
That almost seemed to bring a look of relief to one of the medic's but the other shifted a little closer to the door. The first stepped next to the bed, his expression grim as he answered.
"You killed ten people last night in your escape from the medbay. Five more were severely wounded and they're in critical," he said.
Creed looked down, able to hear the small whispering in the back of his head again. He shook his head to shoo it away but he couldn't escape the heavy feeling in his chest. He'd hurt people, innocent people. He swallowed hard.
I am a murderer...
The one thing he'd tried so hard not to become. The part of his genetics he'd fought his entire life and he'd already succumbed to it. He was far from a good man, in fact, he was the opposite. He was just as bad as those that had killed his brothers.
"I...I don't remember that" Creed whispered hoarsely after a long moment, not sure what else to say. The medic nodded and turned to adjust the monitors some.
"You seem to be doing alright now. But we may have to restrain you if any sign of this violence returns. For our safety and yours."
Creed nodded hollowly, his eyes fixed on the floor. How could he be a good brother to Chaos when he'd already killed innocent people. He wasn't a good man like Haze and Specter and Skate had been. He was a murderer, a monster created by the Republic.
And I wasn't strong enough to fight it...
Hours eventually turned into days and days into weeks of slow recovery. Chaos came to visit every day, sometimes napping in the medbay while Creed read to him or just spending the night. Creed didn't mind the least. It kept him sane, gave him a purpose, and he loved spending time with his little brother. After the first couple of weeks, Creed was well enough to get up and move about. He couldn't leave the medbay but he was allowed to walk around and it was encouraged as his body healed so he didn't lose muscle mass.
"Creed!" Chaos called out as he ran down the hall, slowing enough to a walk so he didn't run into the older man.
"Hey, vod'ika," Creed said, pulling away from the medic helping him and kneeling down a little to hug Chaos. He kissed the boy's head before carefully and sorely straightening up.
"I got the whole evening off, so I can spend it with you," Chaos said brightly, beaming. Creed grinned and ruffled up his hair, ignoring the slightly sour look he got from Chaos at that.
"Well then, why don't you accompany me on my walk so the medic here can get back to work," Creed added, glancing back at the man. The medic gave him a bit of a wary look like he wasn't entirely sure he trusted Creed on his own with just a kid to aid him, but after a minute he nodded and turned to head off and help someone else.
"Gladly," Chaos said and took Creed's hand, grinning. Creed smiled and gripped his younger brother's hand firmly.
"So, can I show you somewhere special?" he asked, looking down at Chaos. He watched as the kid looked up at him, trusting and happy. Creed smiled more to see Chaos beaming. The worry that had once plagued the boy's features was gone now and Creed was more than happy to see it.
"I thought you couldn't leave the medbay," Chaos said, cocking his head some.
"I can't, but we don't have too," Creed said, starting to limp carefully down the hall as he led Chaos along with him. Chaos seemed confused but he followed anyway, making sure to keep up with Creed and support him.
Creed got them down one of the halls to the service lift and he glanced around carefully before leading Chaos inside and punching the top button. Chaos looked hopelessly confused but Creed simply reassured him that he knew what he was doing. The lift jerked a little and then started upwards and Creed just put his hands on Chaos' shoulders, smiling at him. Chaos smiled back, though his brow was still furrowed as he didn't understand.
Creed knew he would soon, though.
The lift eventually settled to a stop and the doors creaked open, revealing a small room with a staircase leading up. Creed led Chaos off the lift and towards the staircase. He headed up the stairs, having a little difficulty, but with Chaos' help he got up the short flight of steps and pushed open the small hinged door to the roof of the building. He crawled out first, making sure it wasn't too slick and then he helped Chaos up and got him settled beside him on the top of the roof. The rain was still pattering heavily around them but Creed pulled Chaos tight into his arms and tried to shield him some from the rain, watching as Chaos looked around with wide eyes.
"How do you know how to get up here?" he asked after a long moment.
Creed shrugged a little. "Someone showed me a long time ago," he said, smiling reminiscently as he remembered all the nights he'd spent up here with Haze, listening to stories and just talking in general. Those had been some of the best nights of his life.
"What are we doing up here?" Chaos asked after another pause, his eyes fixed upwards on the thin wisps of cloud dropping light rain. There was a haze of stars behind them, barely glimmering but visible.
"Well, what do you want to do? We could talk, we could read, I could tell you a story," Creed offered, following Chaos gaze to the stars. Kamino seemed always in perpetual night, even when the clocks read the middle of the day. Creed wondered if they were too far from the systems local star to make out it's light or if Kamino itself was somehow naturally shrouded in a pocket of endless stars.
"Can you tell me a story?" Chaos asked, looking up at Creed. Creed smiled and nodded, wrapping his arms around his vod'ika quietly.
"Sure, how about an action story?" he suggested, watching Chaos' face.
The boy's eyes lit up at that and he nodded excitedly, curling up against Creed and shifting so he could look up at Creed.
"Alrigh then," Creed said, pausing a moment to think before he started talking. "This is the story of a brave and fearsome fighter, a man of mystery, who despite his courage and valor just wanted one simple thing in life. He wanted a brother.
Now you see, this man lived all alone on a planet, not too far from the city, but far enough away that no one knew he even lived there. He moved like a shadow in the forests and nobody would've ever known he existed if not for one young cadet, like yourself.
You see, it all happened one rainy day..."
------
Shifting at his side woke Creed up and he saw Chaos snuggling down next to him as if he'd just gotten there. Creed blinked and glanced around the dark room for the chrono to see what time it was. After a moment he finally found it and squinted to make out the time.
2109
It was hardly even night yet, but even waking up he felt exhausted. He looked down at Chaos, though, and wrapped his arm tight around the boy as he let Chaos snuggle in and settle down in his usual spot. He'd gotten used to sleeping with the cadet curled right up into his side. It was comforting not only for Chaos but for him too. The reassurance that he wasn't alone.
Closing his eyes after Chaos settled in, Creed instinctively began to brush through the boy's hair and tried to lull himself to sleep with the repetitive motion. He laid there for several long minutes, but despite his exhaustion, sleep evaded him.
Eventually, he opened his eyes again, looking around the dark room. He could hear Chaos snoring softly at his side as the boy slumbered and Creed focused on the noise as he allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness and pick out the ominous shapes of the medical monitors, the trays and tools. Everything seemed sharper in the dark, light a nightmare trying to swallow him up.
He knew it was just a trick of the darkness, though, and pushed aside the slight worry it brought to his mind. He closed his eyes again, trying to focus on the shadow of sleep hanging just out of reach. He laid there for several long minutes, focusing and trying to fall asleep before he heard something quiet in the back of his mind.
It was like his subconscious, only clearer, less hard to grasp. It almost sounded like a tangible voice again.
Creed.
We're here, why did you leave?
The darkness wants to take you...
Creed opened his eyes some, once more scanning the room but this time with jerky and more fearful movements. His gaze caught on anything that seemed the slightest bit dangerous. He could make out figures, just on the edges of his vision. They looked bloody, battered, but when he tried to look directly at them they evaded him.
W-What...what's going on? he thought, screwing his eyes shut as he tried to push the voices from his mind.
Don't fight us. We want to talk to you.
Don't leave us, Creed.
We miss you. We want to help you.
You're scared, you should be. They want to kill you.
We want to help you escape.
They were getting louder and the sensation that he hadn't felt in weeks was returning. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest, his mind racing and reeling. There was less pain in his body, but mentally he could feel a throbbing in his head. His chest was tight, he could hardly breathe.
Subconsciously, he found himself gripping Chaos tighter, his hands trembling as he struggled not to panic. He had to get the voices out of his head before they made him hurt someone. He couldn't hurt anyone else, especially not Chaos.
Mentally, he fought back against them as their whispering turned into normal speaking, shouting, yelling, then to a vengeful horrific screaming.
Creed tried to shake his head some as if that would somehow cause them to flee his mind, but they pressed their mental attack. They weren't giving up but he couldn't let them take over. His heart was about to pound out of his chest, his shaking hands white as he clutched Chaos. He twisted some, letting go for a moment before grabbing Chaos up against his chest as if that would somehow protect the cadet from him should he lose it again.
Chaos shifted a little on his own, though, and murmured something softly. Creed's eyes snapped open and he found himself panting in a cold sweat as he clung to Chaos, holding the cadet tight in his arms.
"Creed..." Chaos mumbled tiredly, opening his eyes blearily. "You're holding me too tight..." he whined, squirming a little as Creed now loosened his grip some. He couldn't stop shaking, though, and after a moment of rubbing his eyes, Chaos seemed to notice the trembling. He looked up at Creed again, frowning some.
"Vod..." he whispered, his gaze seemed to catch Creed's pale terrified look and he sat up. Moving to now sit beside Creed, Chaos touched his shoulder as Creed curled up onto his side, shaking.
"Creed, are you okay?" Chaos asked quietly.
Unable to speak out of fear, Creed simply shook his head and screwed his eyes shut, trying not to cry. The voices hurt, and they weren't going away. Their attack was relentless, their tones ripping away at his mind like vultures tearing at a carcass.
"What's wrong?" Chaos asked, but Creed couldn't bring himself to answer, just pressed to be closer to his little brother. He needed Chaos, he just didn't have the words to say it.
Chaos seemed to understand, though, and he stayed there. He moved to touch Creed's hair, starting to weave his fingers through it after a moment and brushing it back from Creed's face.
Despite the screaming of the voices, that helped and Creed began to relax, focusing on that soft motion. He began to calm down, the voices began to fade as he did and his shaking began to lessen. He felt Chaos shift to lay back down beside him but the younger clone didn't stop brushing over Creed's hair, seeming to know that was helping.
Creed eventually calmed down enough that he wrapped his arms around Chaos again, holding him close.
"S-Sorry," he apologized thinly, curling up and holding Chaos close.
Chaos laid his head against Creed's chest and rubbed small circles in the older clone's hair. "It's okay, I understand," he said.
Creed nodded and focused again on the motion, relaxing into it. Finally, his body gave into exhaustion and after several long minutes, he fell into a peaceful sleep.
------
Recovery was slow, but soon Creed was able to sleep outside the medbay and he was given a room on his own so they could monitor his progress but he was no longer confined. The voices still came back from time to time but there was less danger from them and Creed was able to move forward with life more normally. After a few more weeks he was put back into the system and began to meet with people about restarting his training.
He wasn't entirely fond of the idea, but it was required. He spent a few weeks without having to train, though, able to spend time with Chaos and take him places as he waited for the medics to get him cleared, get all the paperwork sorted out. He also submitted an application to end up with the elite troopers rather than back with the assassins, hoping that would be accepted and he wouldn't have to deal with more craziness.
Things moved slowly, and Creed was fine with that. He rebuilt his bond with Chaos and spent almost every waking minute with the boy. He taught him new techniques like Haze had taught him, he told him stories and let Chaos sleep in his room, despite the fact that the kid seemed to grow an inch every day and it was getting hard for the both of them to squeeze onto one bunk.
It didn't last forever, though.
Waking up and rolling over to the sound of his comm buzzing, Creed squirmed away from Chaos some and grabbed for his comm lazily, turning it on as he rubbed his face.
"Yeah..." he drawled tiredly.
"ARC-90, you've been cleared to return to training," an obviously recorded voice droned from the other end. "Please report to training bay 71 at 0500 for full briefing, reintroduction, and further instruction," it finished, then there was a faint click and the recording ended. Creed dropped the comm to the floor again, before tapping it to see the time.
He had about thirty minutes before he needed to report in.
Rolling back over he wrapped his arms around Chaos and lazily yawned, hugging the cadet close as he laid his head back on the pillow. He suppressed a soft groan as the full realization of what he'd just been called out finally set in. He wasn't ready to go back to training. He was quite enjoying having nothing to do, and time to spend with his brother.
I'm still their soldier, though, he thought.
He sighed internally, knowing it was true. He was still a soldier of the Republic and even though he didn't entirely agree or want to comply with their orders, he was stuck doing what they wanted until he could find a way off Kamino or somehow complete his seemingly endless training.
Doesn't mean I have to be everything they want, though, he reminded himself. His name was Creed for a reason, and it wasn't because he was good at following rules.
Creed laid there for a while and just rested his eyes some, but eventually, he felt Chaos begin to shift as the cadet began to wake up for his own shift, and Creed let him up, then sat up himself. Chaos yawned some and Creed smiled, ruffling up his hair.
"Why are you up?" Chaos asked, looking up at him blearily.
"I gotta get back to my own training, kiddo," Creed said.
Chaos frowned a little but he nodded and hugged Creed tight, yawning again. "Can I still see you?"
"I imagine we have pretty similar schedules," Creed said and kissed his head. "Keep your comm on and I'll send you a message when I've got breaks or anything, alright?"
Chaos nodded and pulled back, then got up to find his uniform and boots. Creed got up as well and glanced around. He didn't have a full uniform, but he had a fresh set of fatigues they had given him. He slipped into those and waved as Chaos headed out the door, then Creed hunted down his boots and pulled them on. He got up, moved to the refresher and ran some water over his hands before slicking back his hair and tucking away any stray bits that had pulled out of the rings that kept it in place. He stared at himself a moment in the mirror, then turned and headed into his room, then stopped and faced the door, taking a deep breath.
I can do this, he reminded himself.
He stepped out of the door, automatically taking on a stiffer posture as he headed down the halls towards training bay 71. He glanced at some people as he walked past them, moving briskly and thought he had a bit of a limp, it didn't hinder his straight posture. He tucked his hands behind his back, lifting his chin a little. He might be in training fatigues, but he knew what he was doing. He was an assassin, a soldier of the republic, and more than that, an intelligent man with a purpose. And no one could take that from him.
He found the hall where training bay 71 was and turned to the left, heading down the hall as he glanced quietly at each rooms number until he located 71, then he paused, took another deep breath to remind himself that even though he'd been out of training for two years, he hadn't forgotten. It might be hard, but he could do it.
He stepped into the room quietly and looked around a moment, looking for the person who was supposed to meet him. He saw a bit of movement to the side of the room and turned to see who it was.
A man stepped into view, a little taller than Creed, his chin held high and his hands clasped behind his back. Scars ran across his hard face and narrowed eyes watched Creed as a wicked grin grew on the Sergeant's face.
"Welcome back, ARC-90."