Total Drama All-Stars Re-Write
Episode 7: Moon Madness
Re-written and Edited by Joey Turner and Tanya Furness
Chris: (Voiceover, recounting last episode's clips) Last time on Total Drama All-Stars, our favorite tone-deaf contestants worked their vocal cords off performing a Rockin' Wawanakwa-Palooza-Fest!! Some (Shows a clip of Gwen's performance) performed better than others (Shows clip of Brick breaking down crying. Chris chuckles). In the end, the Villains finally got back in the hotel, Gwen got to air her dirty laundry, Owen got a little canoodling with crazy Izzy, and I get a little extra cash-flow thanks to the bonus tracks on our new online album!!! (Speaks quickly) Available now on E-Jams for $29.99, tax included, copyright McLean Fresh Inc. (Speaks normally) oh yeah, and Noah shows once again what a little sweetheart he is!
(Cut to the edge of the dock, where Chris is laughing)
Chris: hey, maybe I should bring him and Duncan into my new show: Total Drama Sweethearts! (Suddenly a bunch of rocks start flying at Chris, Chris runs for it as it shows Noah and Duncan to be the throwers)
Duncan: yeah just keep calling talking, McLean!
Chris: (Dodging rocks) hey! Not cool, dudes!!! (Returns to recapping while dodging the rocks) what kind of torture can I put these guys through next? Well the kind of torture I dish out today can only be seen once in a blue moon! (Chuckles; Duncan and Noah look confused but continue throwing rocks) it'll make sense eventually ...IF I feel like it. You'll just have to keep watching Total Drama All-Stars! Ouch! Watch the face, dudes!!!
(Opening credits)
(Cut to the loser cabin's porch at dusk; where a bowl of Chef's gruel falls into the dirt and spilling everywhere. Duncan coughs and splutters as he, Cameron, Zoey, and Brick try to eat the gruel)
Cameron: This slop tastes like dirt gravy. (Starts walking down the stairs) Which technically would be mud, but- (trips) Whoa! (Cameron had falls face first into the slop)
Mike: (Walks up to Cameron) Wow Cam, you ok? (Helps Cam up and hands him his broken glasses) Here you go, buddy. (He puts the glasses on Cam's face, but they crack in two and fall to the ground)
Cameron: (Groaning) Oh boy...
(Zoey turns around and gasps)
(Confessional: Zoey)
Zoey: I can't believe what I just saw! Or have just seen... no, saw... either way, I can't believe it!
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to right before Cameron tripped. When Cameron walks down the stairs, Mike's [or what looked like Mike's] hand grabs his foot and causes him to fall. Mike comes out from under the stairs and gasps, blinking confusedly)
(Confessional: Zoey)
Zoey: Why would Mike do that to Cameron? They're friends... Did Mike break Brick's goggles too? Or what about Owen's junk food stash, and Sierra's Smartphone? But why?
(Confessional: Brick)
Brick: (Holding the broken goggles, looking saddened) the sad thing is, I lost the warranty. (Drops the goggles; looking more confident) But I don't need them! I'm large and in charge! One way or another, I WILL conquer the dark! (Suddenly the lights in the confessional go out and Brick screams. A whizzing sound is heard) OH COME ON!!!!
(Confessional: Sierra)
Sierra: (Pointing to her empty hand) Look at my hand. It looks so weird without my phone! And without my phone, do I even exist? And if I can't talk to him, does Cody exist?
(Confessional ends)
(While Duncan, Mike, Brick, and Zoey look over Cameron, Sierra exits the girls' side of the cabin and walks up behind Zoey)
Sierra: Zoey, can you see me? (Zoey is too busy looking at Cameron) Am I here? (Cameron puts his glasses back on, only for them to break again. Sierra then screams right in Zoey's ear)
Zoey: (Recoiling) Ow... What was that for?
Sierra: I thought you couldn't see me!
Zoey: (Her ear blown out) What?
Sierra: (Smiling) I thought I was invisible. Thanks, Zoey. (Walks back into the cabin)
Zoey: (Confused) what?
Noah: (Walks out of the boys' side, groaning) If there's a psycho killer out here, could you all keep it down? Some of us are trying to squeeze in a nap before the next torture-fest.
Duncan: yeesh! What's got you grouchy today, Shrimpy?
(Noah is about to say something when he notices Dawn meditating under the trees. A bird flies onto her hand, and she nuzzles it with her cheek. Noah smiles for a bit but then snaps out of it when he sees the others staring at him)
Noah: huh? What? (Nervous) Oh I'm just uh... you know, upset because... we're back in the loser cabin.
Brick: I feel your pain, cadet! But no worries, as long as we stand together as a unit, we'll be back in that spa hotel before the sun rises again!
(A melodic hum is heard, and the Heroes look over to see Owen dancing merrily through the field)
Duncan: (Smirks) someone's extra happy, skippy today.
Mike: how long has he been dancing like that?
Zoey: (Smiles again) ever since Izzy came back and kissed him. But who cares? It's just great to see him happy again.
Owen: oh-ho-ho-ho I gotta tell you, guys, suddenly I feel as GIDDY as a school girl! (Chuckles, then trips on a rock and falls on his stomach)
(The heroes cringe, but Mike just laughs)
Zoey: (Unhappy) why are you laughing at him?
Mike: (Stops laughing and looks confused) why AM I laughing?
(Noah and Brick rush over and help Owen up)
Noah: good thing you didn't say "light as a feather." (Owen chuckles, and Dawn briefly chuckles before waving at Noah; Noah waves back awkwardly)
Owen: sooo, (Slyly) you and Dawn, (Elbows Noah lightly) eh? Eh? Eeeeh?
Noah: easy, down, boy. I don't think it's gonna happen. (Walks away)
Owen: (Chuckles) yeah, I always thought you two would make a cute, WHAT?! NOT gonna happen? But you guys would be so CUTE together!! She's like the jelly to your pickles!
Noah: well sorry to spoil the jelly, but I'm just not sure I'm ready to go through a Gwen and Trent experience. Besides, I'm not even sure she's into me like that. (Owen only pouts)
(Confessional: Noah)
Noah: ...that, and I may also be a teensy bit nervous about breaking Dawn's freaky, aura-reading heart. Too many bad experiences with that in school; been there, done that, no thanks.
(Confessional: Owen)
Owen: Noah's saved my butt too many times; the least I can do is help him with the lady he CLEARLY likes. (Giggles a bit) that's why THIS chubby Boy Scout is doing his good deed of the day! I'm gonna help my little buddy get his lady-jiggy-GAH-ROOOOVE ON!!!!
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to the spa hotel, where Alejandro and Heather are eating dinner. Alejandro is whistling through his nose and bobbing his head to the tune)
Heather: (Gets right beside Alejandro, glaring at him) Ugh, do you have to whistle through your nose while you eat, Windy?
Alejandro: (Glares back at her for a second, before pushing his dinner aside and sighing) typical Heather.
(He leaves the table and hand-walks off. Heather gasps and her eyes widen)
(Confessional: Heather)
Heather: Typical Heather? He calls that a comeback? It's like he's not even trying... (Her eyes widen again) It's like he's lost interest in me. (She looked around, worried) No one has EVER lost interest in me!
(Confessional: Alejandro)
Alejandro: To get the upper hand, I must throw Heather off her game; and so far, so bueno. MUY bueno.
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to a shot of the setting sun. Switching over to Courtney standing on the balcony of the spa hotel)
Courtney: (Sighs) I feel like I'm missing something, but what? (A little, orange, and strangely familiar-looking bird lands on the branch next to the camera) What could it possibly- (The bird laughs... and sounds a lot like Scott. Courtney gasps) Scott! I actually miss that scuzzball! (Looks towards the sunset) I wonder how he's doing on Boney Island.
(Cut to Boney Island. Scott is looking around)
Scott: Yoo-hoo, Invincibility statue, come to papa! (Pokes at a random bush with a stick. The bush rustles and a bear comes out, yelling. Scott screams, but then his head is grabbed by a robotic claw, lifting him up and away from the bear) Hey, what the-! (The claw retracts to reveal Chef piloting a helicopter. Chef starts flying away, carrying Scott, who calls out to the bear) Ha! Later, sucker- (He is hit in the back by a tree, and hit again by the next tree, screaming each time)
(Cut back to camp)
Chris: (Over the loudspeakers) Evening, campers! Gather round the starting line for a BIG announcement.
(Cut to the starting line, where everyone is lined up. Gwen looks wiped out)
Duncan: (Notices Gwen, concerned) whoa, babe; you look a little wiped out.
Gwen: (Mumbles) I'm fine, babe. I didn't sleep too well yesterday. Had that DawgToy song infecting my brain! I may need you to blow my brains out.
Duncan: no can do, Pasty; I was kinda hoping you'd keep your brains. (Gwen snickers a bit)
(The helicopter's spinning blades are heard, and a dusty, scratched up Scott is dropped onto the ground, screaming. He lands with a thud)
Courtney: (Kneels down to Scott's level, looking worried) Ohmygosh, are you ok?
Scott: (Gets up and dusts himself off) Why wouldn't I be? That was nothing. (His spine makes an odd cracking noise as he stands up; he moans)
Courtney: (Embarrassed) Well... good, because we have a challenge to win! Get it together!
Scott: (Groans but then perks up and salutes) Yes, Ma'am!
(Confessional: Zoey)
Zoey: (Freaked out) Scott actually being agreeable?
(Confessional: Noah)
Noah: COURTNEY caring about someone and treating him like a human being? Now, kiddies, what's wrong with this picture?
(Confessional: Scott)
Scott: Maybe it's 'cause Pappy's in the army and Mama's a waitress... But I kinda like taking orders!
(Confessional: Courtney)
Courtney: (Defensive) My only interest in Scott is as an ally, really! (Smiles) Sure he's cute, but in a sloppy, rustic sort of way... Like a shack with nice curtains, or a donkey wearing a wig.
(Confessional ends)
Chris: (Wearing a safari hat) Good news, you guys. As a special treat, it's time for an extremely dangerous nighttime challenge!
Gwen: How is this 'good news'?
Chris: Entertainment value, hellooo. This one is gonna be ratings gold. (Chef rolls up a TV with a map of the island on it) In a nod to season four's buried treasure fiasco, your challenge is to race to the far end of the island. (The map updates itself with a trail) First team to get EVERY member across the finish line wins. And, someone from the losing team will be taking the big flush.
Duncan: (Shrugs) Sounds easy enough.
Noah: (Groans) WHY?! Why do you egg on the beast?!
Chris: (Grinning cheekily as Chef rolls the map away) It does, doesn't it? But tonight's full moon is an extremely rare Blue Harvest moon. And let's just say it has an "unusual" effect on the island's animals. (He laughs evilly)
Owen: (Nervous) w-what's a Blue Harvest moon?
Cameron: it's just a yearly lunar cycle. But I'm not sure what he means by "unusual effect."
Chris: oh you'll find out. (Turns to the Villains) Villainous Vultures, you won the last challenge, so you get this map with the fastest route across the island. (He pulls out a map. Then turns to the worried Heroes) Heroic chump-sters, you get to wear nifty bacon hats, and sausage tails. (Chef walks over to the heroes with said meaty apparel, and puts them on the Heroes) Which should add to the fun when you come face to fang with the island's friendly creatures... and by friendly, I mean hungry. (He chuckles)
(Dawn looks as though she's gonna be sick; her cheeks swell up)
Zoey: (Looks concerned) Dawn? Are you ok?
Dawn: (swallows) I shall be alright; but I will not turn my back on Mother Earth by wearing this disrespectful uniform! (She forces the hat and tail off her)
(Owen snags the meat garments and chows down on them)
Owen: mmmm, meaty!
Noah: dude! Gross!
Owen: what? 10-second rule!
Brick: uh... don't you mean FIVE second rule?
Owen: FIVE? I thought it was TEN.
Mike: (Whispers to Cameron conspiratorially) If the villains have a map of the quickest route...
Cameron: ...we should follow them! Great idea, Mike! (Zoey appears behind him and whispers something in his ear; Cameron gasps) He did what? (He looks nervously up at Mike, who doesn't seem to notice)
(Courtney glares at Gwen)
Gwen: what I do this time?
Courtney: nothing.... Yet. (Gwen just sighs dejectedly)
Heather: (Walks up to the other villains, holding the map) This will be a piece of cake.
Chris: On your mark-
Alejandro: (Sighs) you mean a piece of pie.
Chris: Get set-
Heather: (Leans down to eye level with Alejandro) Listen you- (She is cut off by Chris' air horn, which sends everyone running; Gwen cheers)
Noah: (Smirking) oh and by the way, it WAS "piece of cake," Senior Eel. (Owen, Dawn, and Heather chuckle)
(Cut to later; it has gotten darker out. All the contestants are running through the woods; Brick has his eyes closed)
Duncan: hey, Sarge, what up with the closed eyes?
Brick: (Nervously) it's part of my fear-conquering strategy, soldier! If I keep my eyes closed enough, they'll adjust and I'll have NEAR-PERFECT night vision! (Runs into a tree. Duncan just smirks)
Cameron: (Running alongside Mike) Mike, why'd you break my glasses?
Mike: (Shocked) What? I didn't! Who told you that?
Cameron: Zoey made me promise not to say she saw you do it. (Realizes her mistake) Oops, sorry, Zoey. (Zoey is running right behind them)
Mike: (Worried) Seriously? Aww man, I don't know what's been up with me lately, I haven't been able to reach my other personalities for days, and now I think I might be sleepwalking and breaking things and scaring Owen and-ugh; I'm so sorry, Cam.
Cameron: It's ok, Mike; I forgive you. And I promise I'll help you figure it out, whatever it is! (He runs right into a tree, Mike doesn't notice)
Mike: You're a great friend, Cam. (Notices Cameron's not there anymore) Uh, Cam?
(Cut to Cameron, who is still crumpled into the tree. As he falls, Sierra runs by and catches him)
Sierra: Don't worry, Cody, I'll be your eyes and ears and as many nostrils as you need me to be.
Cameron: (Blinks in fear) Cody? Uh, you mean "Cameron," right?
Sierra: Sure. (Laughs creepily; stops and gasps) You guys, look! (She drops Cameron and points upwards. Everyone looks up in fear at where she is pointing)
Zoey: What in the world...
(The moon turns an unearthly shade of blue and emits a pulse of moonlight)
Cameron: (In awe) Blue moonlight? Extraordinary!
Owen: sweet blueberry scones!
(Cut to a bear pinning a small squirrel against a tree, before the pulse of blue moonlight washes over them. Suddenly, the squirrel growls, launching itself at the bear; the bear only cowers in fear)
Noah: (Noticing the ravenous squirrel) what the?
Dawn: (Gasps) oh my goodness, what's happened to those innocent creatures?
(The Scott bird from earlier flies rabidly through the air, launching itself at an intern outside the spa hotel. The intern screams and quickly shuts the door, but that doesn't stop the bird; it crashes through the door and continues its assault. Cut back to the moon before panning out and revealing a herd of bunnies growling. One jumps up near the camera and roars. Owen screams and clings to Brick, who still has his eyes closed)
Brick: what? What's going, Solder? Can I open my eyes now?
Owen: I uh... I wouldn't do it if I were you, military buddy.
(Brick opens one of his eyes anyway. Then opens the other one and looks relieved)
Brick: this... this is perfect! Forget night-vision, a REAL soldier fights a war by the light of the moon! (Finally notices the rabid bunnies) oooh, now I see what you mean.
(The moonlight pulse washes over Mike, and he gasps; his hair falls over one eye, indicating the evil personality (or "Mal" as we're calling him now)'s return)
Mal: A blue harvest moon, how fortuitous. (Looks around smiling in an evil fashion)
(Dawn notices Mal and gasps in terror)
(Confessional: Mal)
Mal: Seems that this blue harvest moon has brought me back. Now that I'm in control, I'll torment these peons a little. But first, I have to sound like Mike. (He clears his throat, pushes his hair back up, widens his eyes, and does an almost perfect Mike imitation with his voice) Hi, I'm a bug-eyed weirdo and everybody loves me! (Laughs evilly in his regular, evil voice) Perfect.
(Confessional: Dawn)
Dawn: (Looks terrified) oh no! I am too late! The Malevolent one has truly returned! What has this moon done to Mike? And what has become of the noble creatures of the forest?!
(Confessional ends)
Zoey: (Looking suspiciously at Mal) What was that, Mike?
Mal: (Coughs and sweeps up his hair. Speaking like Mike) Uh, just, y'know, sweet moon! (He puts a hand on Zoey's shoulder and smiles, causing her to smile too as they walk off)
(Cut to the villains, where an alligator blocks their path. But it starts thumping its tail against the ground like a puppy. Scott hides behind Courtney, and Gwen cringes in fear)
Courtney: Um, since when do gators do that?
Alejandro: (Hand-walks forward) This moon is like no other, it must be causing the animals to become their opposite!
Heather: (Looks up from the map, with her eyes sparkling heavily and her voice oddly sweet) Wow, Alejandro! You're so smart!
Alejandro: (Looks concerned) Excuse me!?
Heather: (Hugs the gator tightly) Who's a little boojiboojiboo? You are, yes you are!
(The villains all look terrified; Alejandro shivers)
(Confessional: Alejandro)
Alejandro: I've never seen Heather be so sweet and kind! (Looks concerned) And it is terrifying!
(Confessional: Gwen)
Gwen: (Shivers in fear) I never thought I'd miss the old Heather!
(Confessional ends)
(Several birds with sharpened teeth fly towards Sierra, who drops Cameron yet again to intimidate the birds)
Sierra: Back off, stay away from my Cam-Codykins!
(Cameron runs away and the birds swarm all over Sierra. Meanwhile Owen runs around with a bunch of chipmunks biting him)
Owen: GET 'EM OFF ME!!! GET 'EM OFF ME!!
(Noah, Dawn, and Brick chase after him)
Noah: we got your ginormous back, Big Boy!
(Several bunnies stand in a row in front of Scott, Gwen and Courtney; growling. One bunny roars like a leopard, causing Gwen and Courtney to run away)
Scott: (Doesn't look worried) I'm not gonna be taken down by a gang of bunnies. (Three of the rabbits lunge at Scott; he screams in pain) Help, I'm being taken down by a gang of bunnies!
(Confessional: Scott)
Scott: (Defensive) I wasn't SCARED of those bunnies, I was surprised! Totally different- (A familiar growl causes him to scream in terror, before looking at the camera) Uh, um, I mean, (He changes his scream into a not-so-threatening yell).
(Confessional ends)
Zoey: (Backs away slowly) Uh oh... (A small duck advances towards her menacingly, quacking)
(A bird lunges at Duncan)
Duncan: (Ducks) Whoa! That's it; I'm out! (He runs off)
(Mal grins at the chaos, and pulls Cameron close to him when he runs by)
Mal: (Leans closer) C'mon, now's your chance to get away from Sierra!
Cameron: (Worried) Won't that hurt her feelings?
(Zoey continues to back away from the duck, while a bird pecks at Sierra's head)
Sierra: Ow, ow! I think its using Morse code, ow!
Mal: (Pleased at Sierra's pain) She'll be fine; she's got Zoey. Anyway, we should make sure there's no danger waiting up ahead.
Cameron: Well, if you're sure...
Mal: (Reaches down and picks up a stick) Hold on to this stick, that way we won't get separated. C'mon! (Cameron grabs on to the stick; Mike runs off, Cameron screaming as he is dragged along)
(Sierra drops her hat on the ground and the birds swarm at it, but the duck scares them off. The duck puts the hat on for himself)
Zoey: (Relieved) Phew. Is everybody ok? (She looks around) Hey, where are Dawn and all the guys?
Sierra: (gasps) Cam-Codykins!
(Cut to Noah, Dawn, and Brick gently plucking the chipmunks off of Owen)
Owen: ow, ow, ow, ow!!
Noah: (Plucks the last chipmunk) finally! Last one. (The chipmunk tries to bite at Noah's finger) no! Bad morbidly psychotic fuzzball!
Dawn: (Looks a little worried as she holds a squirming chipmunk) most peculiar. This poor creature's aura is not opening up to me. It feels as though a mental brick wall has plagued these innocent minds. (The chipmunk tries to bite at Dawn)
Noah: (Rushes over) dude, get rid of that thing! (Picks up the chipmunk and tosses it away) the last thing we need is that cute face getting all mauled! (His eyes widen when he realizes what he said. Owen and Brick smile while Dawn just blushes) Uh... well I mean uh, what I meant was... uh...
Owen: uh guys... I think we're missing some people ...A LOT of some people (Zoom out to reveal the 4 of them are all alone. Owen starts calling out)! Duncan? Zoey?
Dawn: (Calling out) Sierra? Cameron?
Noah: anyone who's NOT an "adorable fuzzy" creature? Where are you!?
Brick: ok troops, let's not panic! Let's just analyze our situation... we're lost in the middle of the woods, our team has gone missing...
Noah: aaand all the Bambi rejects are going rabid and preparing to stuff us like cocktail weenies. This analyzing is fun.
Brick: STILL no reason to panic! The moon'll guide us through the woods, and sooner or later we can lose the excess meat!
Owen: (Already scarfed down his bacon hat and sausage tail) One step ahead of you, Buddy.
Brick: (Chuckles) that's the spirit, soldier! Alright, I suggest we split into teams of two each; we stick together, find our fellow teammates, and make it to the finish line! (After hearing this, Owen smiles)
Owen: ooh! I think that's an AWESOME idea! And... uh... I'll go with Brick!
Noah: wait, what?!
Brick: Not a bad idea, Owen. Noah, you and Dawn can be a team.
(Noah's eyes widen again; he looks at the smiling Dawn and blushes. As Owen and Brick walk away, Owen shoots Noah a thumb up)
(Confessional: Owen)
Owen: (Giggles) oh yeah, I am the LOOOOOVE CONNECTION!!!
(Confessional: Noah)
Noah: if we make it out of the woods alive, Owen and I are gonna have a little talk about playing Cupid.
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to the villains; Scott is still screaming while getting chased by the bunnies. The villains [except Heather] run after him)
Alejandro: Hurry, there's no time to waste!
(A chomp is heard and Scott runs in the other direction, one of the bunnies now biting his butt)
Scott: Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow!
Alejandro: (Yelling back) Hurry up, Heather; you have the map!
(Heather is still cuddling with the alligator)
Heather: (Throws her arms up) Yay! Running! (She runs after the villains; the gator waves goodbye. Soon she runs ahead of everyone else) Good work, guys! We're halfway to the finish line! (She leaps ahead) yippee! This is fun!
Gwen: (Looks nervously at Heather) O-k, this is sufficiently weird.
Courtney: I know! Why is Heather being affected by the blue harvest moon?
(Heather is now skipping along happily)
Gwen: Maybe she's part wolf?
(Gwen and Courtney both laugh before Courtney coughs glares at Gwen, running up ahead)
(Confessional: Gwen)
Gwen: (Saddened) So... close...
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to Owen and Brick running through the woods)
Brick: quick thinking choosing me as a rescue partner, Owen. You and I make quite a team!
Owen: (Chuckles) I know; Noah's like my sarcastic funny sidekick, and YOU'RE like a super strict but lovable big brother figure! (Hearing this makes Brick smile)
(The two keep running until the face-planted against Fang! They fall backwards, look up, and see the mutant shark staring down at them)
Owen: Oh no! Not Fang!! Not again!!!! (Screams) WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!
Brick: Not exactly soldier! If the moon is making the animals act the opposite... then-
(Before Brick can finish, a big dopey grin spreads across Fang's face, and little hearts appear in his eyes. Owen and Brick look terrified, but then Fang grabs Owen by the shoulders)
Owen: GREAT CALIFORNIA ROLL.... (Fang plants a huge sloppy kiss on Owen's face. After a minute, Owen is finally released and sent backwards, looking very confused) ooook, that was creepy. But at least now I smell like sushi. (Giggles. But then notices Fang trying to kiss Brick. Brick breaks away and makes a run for it, Fang following) BRICK!!! Hang on, buddy; I'll help you!
Brick: (Calling back to Owen) no time, Soldier! I can lose the shark; just go find the others!!
Owen: but Brick-
Brick: That's an order, Soldier!!
Owen: (Hesitates, then salutes) SIR! YES SIR!!! (Runs in the other direction)
(Cut to Cameron being lead ahead by Mal. Mal is getting fed up with Cameron)
Cameron: You've had trouble reaching your other personalities ever since the beach challenge, right? That's when Scott hit you over the head with a shovel, maybe that's the cause.
Mal: Wow, Cam; you may just have a point!
(Mal rolls his eyes and whips the stick around, sending Cameron flying off a hill, hitting a rock and tumbling down. Mal's hair slips down, and he grins as Cameron falls. Cameron screams as he tumbles down the hill, until he finally comes to a stop)
Cameron: (Disoriented) Sorry, lost my footing. (He gets back up, noticing he is now alone) Where are you? (Calls out) Mike? Where'd you go? (He turns towards a rustling. The screen blurs to match his eyesight) Mike, is that you?
(He looks around until he notices a small bunny. It twitches its nose and tilts its head; Cameron smiles weakly. It suddenly roars and exposes its sharp fangs)
Cameron: (Screams, and starts backing up against a nearby tree as more bunnies approach) Mike? Anybody? HELP!
(The camera backs away into Chris's recording studio. Chris is laughing while looking at the four screens of footage playing. The middle one shows Cameron being menaced by bunnies, the last two are of an empty forest, but the first has a familiar looking tall skinny man).
Chris: Who will make it to the other side of the island? And, whose about to become a serving of teen cuisine? Stay tuned to find out, right here, on Total Drama All-Stars!
(Commercial break)
(Cut back to Cameron being cornered against a tree by the rapidly advancing bunnies)
Cameron: Somebody! Anybody! HELP! (He is now right against the tree, bracing himself) Nice bunnies...
(One of the bunnies lunges at him; but at the last second he is swept away by Sierra, who swings in on a vine. Sierra and Cameron land safely)
Sierra: (Grinning) Oh that was close! Better hitch you up for safekeeping! (She runs off)
Cameron: (Slightly afraid) Hitch me up, what does that me-
(Sierra runs back in with a bunch of reeds; she quickly weaves them into a sling, wearing Cameron like a backpack)
Cameron: (Shocked) Whoa! What are you doing?
Sierra: Don't worry; I'll never let you out of my sight again!
Cameron: But-but...
(Before Cameron can protest, Zoey runs past)
Zoey: (Commanding tone) Let's go!
Cameron: (As Sierra runs after Zoey, carrying him) Never?
(Cut to Noah and Dawn, lost somewhere in the woods. Dawn looks around, concerned, while Noah just looks awkward)
Noah: (Clears throat) sooo... uh. You uh... you into uh... s-stuff? (Dawn just looks at him weirdly. After an awkward laugh, Noah finally sighs and stops Dawn in place) ok look, Dawn; this whole awkwardness thing is starting to get me down so we need to talk. N-now look, about the-
Dawn: (A warm smile spreads across her face) oh, dear Noah, there is no need to hide your fear from me. I understand exactly what troubles you.
Noah: (Raises eyebrow) yooouuu do?
Dawn: yes, and I admire your concern. It must have been tragic in high school; never knowing of true love, unsure of where your heart resides, curious about experimenting with dating, but also fearing what the outcome will be, and afraid that whatever your decision is will result in the ruination of something.
Noah: (Looks at her in shock) ...wow, that's pretty much me in a nutshell right now.
Dawn: (Giggles, then she puts a comforting hand on Noah's shoulder) It is okay, Noah. I understand what you are going through. I myself have had some confusion since our incident. But I can assure you; you have nothing to fear.
Noah: seriously? But you at least deserve an answer; not just a "hey, thanks for accidentally smooshing my face with your lips. Hey mind if I just never speak to you again? Cool? Thaaanks!" (Dawn giggles, Noah groans) no, no, no! You're supposed to be all "freaky-outty" with me! Tell me I'm a low-life scum! I dunno maybe kick me in the kiwis a bit? That's what almost every other girl does on this freakish show!!!
Dawn: (Just smiles) well I am not like other girls on this show... am I? Isn't that what you said once? (Noah's jaw just drops)
(Confessional: Noah)
Noah: ...for once in my life, I have never felt so stupid.
(Confessional ends)
(Noah just stands there at a loss of words, when suddenly a pack of angry squirrels leap out of the bushes, glaring the two of them down menacingly)
Noah: oh joy; just what we needed right about now.
(Dawn closes her eyes and holds out her hand towards the squirrels, looking like she is trying to read their auras. After a minute, nothing happens, and Dawn gasps in terror)
(Confessional: Dawn)
Dawn: (Holding her legs close to her chest) it is true! I did not wish to believe it, but it has happened! This blue harvest moon is preventing me from reading the poor creatures' auras! If I cannot read their auras... I cannot help them! If I cannot help Mother Nature's noble creatures... I feel... completely useless.
(Confessional ends)
(Dawn backs away in fear as the squirrels slowly approach her, ignoring Noah. Dawn keeps backing up until she accidentally trips on a rock and lands on her backside. The squirrels prepare to lunge at her)
Dawn: (Terrified) no... no fair creatures! Please, I wish to help you! (Screams) someone! Help me! NOAH!!!!
(Noah gasps, then glares at the squirrels. The squirrels are just about to lunge at the terrified Dawn)
Noah: hey, ya fuzzy little cannibals! (He holds out his bacon hat, the squirrels stop and look at the hat as though they are hypnotized. He starts talking to them like dogs) who wants the bacon? Who wants it? (The squirrels start panting like dogs) you want it don't you? (He tosses his hat into the bushes) GOOOO GET IT!!! (The squirrels chase after the hat, and Noah looks at Dawn, who is shivering, in a concerned way) uh... you ok?
(Dawn doesn't answer. She just clings to Noah's torso in a big hug)
Noah: I'll take that as a no. (He gently pulls her away) look, no need to panic just yet. The moon's almost over.... I hope; we just find our way through the woods, and this whole crappy experience will be over before the NEXT crappy experience. Ok? (Dawn silently nods) That's a good little hippie! And we should probably leave NOW before those squirrels turn us into sherbet!! (Noah runs off. Dawn just looks at him and smiles)
(Confessional: Dawn)
Dawn: (Calmer) I never imagined myself actually in fear of the fair forest creatures! I found myself more scared than I have ever been! I was most fortunate dear Noah was there to save me. ...I cannot let him suffer through his conflicting emotions any longer! As soon as we are free of this moon, it is time to throw caution to the wind, and let my feelings be known!!!
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to a rope bridge across a chasm. The villains are right in front of it)
Gwen: (Groans) a rope bridge? Obviously it's a trap. We should go around.
Courtney: That'll take three times as long!
Gwen: Well I'm not crossing that thing. (Starts walking away) And anyone with any brains will follow me.
Alejandro: What if you get lost? Every member of the team must make it over the finish line for us to win.
Heather: (Grinning sweetly) Besides, if you don't come with us, we'll miss you SO much! (Alejandro shivers)
Courtney: If you take that detour, you'll cost us the game. (Gasps, then points accusingly at Gwen)) That's your plan, isn't it! Admit it!
Gwen: (Keeps walking) I'll see you on the other side! Y'know, if you make it!
Heather: (Waves at Gwen) Good luck!
(Confessional: Gwen)
Gwen: Talk about gullible! Anyone who's ever seen a movie knows that the rope bridge always breaks! Also, I'm pretty sure Heather has rabies. (Looks around) And don't tell Courtney I said this, but she's one to talk about costing our team the game! Emu wrangling is hard, my BUTT!
(Confessional ends)
(Cut back to Mal holding one of the birds in a death grip, the bird snarling and bearing its teeth)
Mal: Who wants to help me make someone wet their pants with fear, huh?
(Duncan is walking past when he overhears; he looks suspiciously at Mal)
Duncan: Hold on a second.
(Mal notices Duncan and coughs nervously, pushing his hair back up)
Mal: (Speaking like Mike) Hey, Duncan. Man, am I glad to see you! I uh, got lost.
Duncan: (Rolls his eyes) Yeah right. Seriously, dude, where do I know you from? (He looks closely at Mike)
Mal: Uh, Total Drama season 4?
Duncan: Nah, I know you from somewhere else, I just can't put my finger on it.
(Duncan strikes his chin, thinking. Mal lets go of the angry bird, which starts chasing Duncan)
Duncan: Yikes!
Mal: (laughs evilly) Toodles.
Owen: (Off-screen) Hello? Brick? Noah? Zoey? Anyone?
Mal: (Chuckles evilly) ah, right on time! (Coughs and flips his hair up again. Calls out in Mike's voice) Owen! There you are!
Owen: (Runs right up to Mal) Mike! Oh thank boysenberry it's you! I lost Brick! We went out looking for you, then Fang came and started making out with Brick's face!
Mal: (Confused) uh... what?
Owen: I dunno! We gotta get out of the woods! These animals are getting SPOOOOKY!
Mal: (Smirks) GREAT Idea, PAL! Uh why don't we see if we can find the others up (Points to a steep cliff) THAT cliff?
Owen: (Nervous) oh-hoooo, no-no-no-nooo! Too many bad experiences with cliffs; been there, done that, not going through with it again!
Mal: aw come on, Owen. I'll watch your back so you don't go over the cliff.
Owen: aww thanks, buddy! Hang on fellow Heroes, OWEN THE NATURALIST AND MIKE THE... uh... SKINNY SHALL FIND YOU!!! (Runs towards the cliff giving a victory holler. Mal follows behind, smirking evilly)
(Cut back to the bridge)
Heather: Come on guys, nothing to be afraid of! (Walks up to the bridge)
Alejandro: (Muttering) Except you.
Heather: (Stops) Maybe someone brave should cross it first and make sure it's safe! (Her eyes sparkle)
Scott: (Raises hands) I'll do it! Back home we have a special way to cross these bridges.
(Scott clears his throat, then dashes straight across the bridge, screaming and flailing his arms wildly. When he reaches the other side, he stops and catches his breath)
Scott: (Calls back) Like I said, nothing to it! (He notices a chittering beaver and looks nervous) Um, are beavers normally nice, or normally evil?
(The beaver lunges at Scott, latching onto his hand. He runs back to the bridge, the beaver lets his hand go and starts chewing the rope holding the bridge on one side. The beaver chews through the rope before running off to attack Scott again, the bridge falls to one side)
Alejandro/Courtney/Heather: No!
Courtney: (Groans at Scott) Not helping!
Scott: (Runs around like an idiot, the beaver now clamping on his butt) Ow geyow, MY BUTT IS NOT A CHEW TOY!
Alejandro: (Sarcastically) Good job; keep it busy! (To Heather and Courtney) Shall we go?
(The three of them slowly begin shuffling across what was now a tightrope)
Courtney: (Shivering in fear) Agh-oooh, if I don't die on this bridge, I'm going to kill Gwen for taking the long way around and costing us the challenge.
(Suddenly the board Heather is using for balance breaks, and Heather starts to fall. Alejandro quickly grabs her hand and keeps her from falling)
Heather: (Speaking normally) I knew you still cared!
(Confessional: Heather)
Heather: (Smirking in pride) Now who's typical? Sucker. As if the moon affected me. But as long as I keep him guessing, I'll always have the upper hand. ...And I hope I NEVER have to act that sickeningly nice again!!! (Her cheeks bulge like she's about to puke)
(Confessional: Alejandro)
Alejandro: (glaring at the camera) How dare she trick me? I should have let her fall. (Groans and slaps himself) estupido!
(Confessional ends)
(Scott is hugging a tree as the beaver continues to bite at his pants. Courtney pulls the beaver off of Scott)
Courtney: Chomp this, freak! (She walks back over to the bridge and uses the beaver to saw off the final rope, causing the bridge to fall)
Alejandro: Now the other team can't use the bridge! Brilliant plan, Courtney!
Heather: But if Gwen can't make it around the pit, the bridge is no longer an option, is it?
Alejandro: She's right; terrible plan, Courtney!
Courtney: Whatever, that's Gwen's problem. (Tosses the beaver off the cliff, the beaver flips her off as it falls, before a parachute pops out to guide it on the way down)
(Confessional: Courtney)
Courtney: If we lose this challenge, it's totally Gwen's fault, not mine.
(Confessional: Heather)
Heather: really? Even after she got us a DawgToy concert, she can't just drop it?! (Growls) and really, Courtney should talk about costing us the challenge! Little Miss (Immitates Courtney's voice in a nasally fashion) "ooooh, this is tricky! I'm a hypocrite baby who likes to keep Heather out of first class and try and steal Alejandro!" ...(Realizes what she just said) uh... not that I care!
(Confessional ends)
(Cut back to Zoey and Sierra running; Cameron still in Sierra's sling)
Zoey: Hey, where's Mike?
Cameron: He ran off; I think something scared him. Where's Duncan?
Zoey: I thought he was with you!
(Cut to Duncan, the bird is chewing on his sausage tail)
Duncan: (Screams) This is SO not how I want to die!
(Gwen comes running the other way, getting chased by squirrels)
Gwen: (Screams, waving the squirrels away) Get away from me you little freaks!
Duncan: (Grabs his sausage tail and starts spinning it around like a whip) Gwen! Heads up!
(Duncan tosses the bird and tail past the squirrels, who all stop in their tracks and chase after the bird. Both Duncan and Gwen sigh in relief)
Duncan: (Puts his hand on her shoulder) You ok, Gwen?
Gwen: I guess. (Growls) I am just SO SICK of this challenge!
Duncan: (Smirks) ah, come on, babe. It's not the WORST challenge we've ever been through. (He notices the squirrels and bird fighting over the sausage) ...BUT it's getting there. You want someone to walk with?
Gwen: (Trying to hide happiness) if you can. Will your team mind?
Duncan: nah, they'll be fine I guess. What about your team?
Gwen: I'm not sure; COURTNEY probably won't like it.
Duncan: (Smirks) then I'm going with you. (Gwen snickers)
(Confessional: Gwen)
Gwen: (Snickers) he just LOVES messing with Courtney, doesn't he? I mean I SHOULD be flattered, but maybe he could tone it down a LITTLE bit?
(Confessional: Duncan)
Duncan: should I tone down messing with Courtney? Maybe. Am I gonna? Not until she stops picking on Gwen. Besides, if messing with Cutthroat Courtney is wrong, then sue me.
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to the top of a cliff; Owen is looking over the edge, Mal stands menacingly over him)
Owen: (Notices the finish line in the distance) ooh! I can see the finish line! (Chuckles) If we get off this cliff, we can make a beeline to the finish, and MAYBE the others will be there by now! Isn't that awesome, Mike? (Notices Mal not speaking) ...M-Mike? (Notices that Mal's hair has flipped down. Grows slightly nervous) uh... h-h-hey, Mike. Is... uh... is that a new haircut? It looks... uh... tough?
Mal: (Chuckles, speaking like himself) oh, Mike's not here at the moment, name's Mal!
Owen: (Gasps) great gravy boat gizzards! YOU'RE what I had the nightmare about!!! ...So, you're one of Mike's personalities he told me about?
Mal: (Smirks) maybe, or is it MIKE who's the alternate personality?
Owen: (Stops being nervous) wait-wait-wait-wait-wait, n-now I'm confused! So... WHO'S the personality?
Mal: (Groans) enough! (Pulls out a paddle and starts slowly approaching Owen)
Owen: (Terrified) uh, Mr. Mal, w-what are you doing with that? (Mal starts whistling what sounds like 'In the Hall of the Mountain King' as he gets closer) wait, don't do anything I wouldn't-
(Several slapping sounds are heard off-screen, followed by Owen's screaming. Cut to another part of the forest, where Fang is still smiling, looking around for Brick. He runs off screen and we pan up to see Brick clinging to a tree)
Brick: phew, and THIS is why I don't eat sushi. (Hears the sound of Owen screaming) Owen? (Gasps) OWEN!! (He summersaults out of the tree, landing on his feet this time) I'M COMING, SOLDIER!!!
(Cut back to the cliff, where Owen's belly is now completely pink, with tears running down his face)
Owen: (Panting in pain) oh sweet spicy saffron that smarts!!!
Mal: (Chuckles as he holds the broken paddle) well, you're in luck; my paddle broke. (Picks up Owen by his collar) now listen up, Big Boy; here's how things are gonna work – if you tell ANYONE I'm not Mike, OR that I did this to you... let's just say I'll do MORE than pink your belly up! Get the picture?
Owen: ...crystal shiny transparently clear! Just please, no more!!! I've only got one belly and so many foods to fill it with!!!
Mal: good boy. And because I'm happy to be back, I'm going to let you slide!
(Mal fiercely kicks Owen in the stomach, causing him to fall off the edge and fall straight to the ground screaming, and landing with a thud. Mal just snickers and walks away. Cut to below the cliff, where Owen is now on his stomach, groaning in pain. Brick scoots right next to him)
Brick: (Gasps) Owen! (Kneels down) Owen, are you ok? Speak to me, Soldier; come on, stay with me!! (Owen only grunts in pain, then farts softly) ok good, he's still alive! And I'm right here... all alone, in the woods, surrounded by hostile enemy fuzzy creatures... (Gulps) and it's getting darker out... (He looks around nervously. Until he hears Owen moan in pain again, then he gets an intense stare) No! Not THIS time!! I'm large and in charge; so it's time I start acting like it!!!! (He grabs Owen and drapes him across his back) Don't worry, Owen! Private Brick McArthur, reporting for rescue duty!!! (He slowly starts walking forward, carrying Owen along his back)
(Confessional: Brick)
Brick: I WAS close to peeing my pants... but I couldn't leave my teammate behind! I stand by my code to never leave a teammate behind for a REASON!!! Besides, overall this season, Owen's been a valiant teammate; I can't let someone like him down!
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to the remaining villains running through the woods)
Courtney: (Calling out) Gwen! (Groans) where is she?
Alejandro: Maybe she's at the finish line already?
(Cut to Gwen and Duncan running through the field. Gwen is looking up at the moon)
Gwen: you know, take out the making animals go rabid part, and that would be a pretty cool moon, REAL nice shade of midnight blue. (Looks to Duncan) so what's it like on the heroes for you?
Duncan: eh, it's not suck-ish I guess. Owen and Noah are cool and Zoey's ok I guess... but she is WAAAY too nice!
Gwen: aw, Zoey's cool. I mean yeah she's nice, but she told me how last season she went on this scary hunter frenzy! It FREAKED Chef out!
Duncan: seriously?! (Groans) see maybe if THAT Zoey came out, she'd be a little more interesting! (Gwen just smiles and rolls her eyes) So how're you holding up with Miss Cutthroat –in-training?
Gwen: I am SO CLOSE to getting her to be friend-ish with me again!
Duncan: why do you even WANT to be friend-ish with Courtney? If you ask me, the girl's a lost cause.
(Gwen suddenly stops, looking at Duncan in shock)
Gwen: whoa! That's... kinda harsh, don't you think?
Duncan: What? It's true! I tried making nicey-nice with her, and all I got was bruised kiwis and diaper-breath! YOU'RE trying to make nicey-nice with her and its draining you, admit it!
Gwen: (Looks ashamed) well ...ok maybe a little. But I really think I could make her less obnoxious with the others... and you? You really think I liked watching her bruise your kiwis?
Duncan: pssh, I've got kiwis of steel. Anyways, it's YOU I'm worried about!
Gwen: Duncan, please; I'm fine! I just really think that if I try being a bit more... FRIENDLY-ish to her, she'll back off! And it might speed up the process if ...you tried to tone down the Courtney-teasing a bit?
Duncan: yeah no offense, babe; I don't really see that happening. If she's gonna keep harassing my girl, than I'm not giving her anything! Besides, I'm not a hero!
Gwen: (Growls) Well I'm not a villain, so now what!?
Duncan: ...you wanna make out?
(Gwen just pouts... but then pulls Duncan close for a kiss)
Gwen: (Momentarily stops kissing) stupid.... Sexy... jerk!
Duncan: (Smirked) ah come on, don't pretend you don't love it.
Gwen: ...so? (They kiss again)
(Confessional: Gwen)
Gwen: Darn it, Duncan! I should be mad at him but he REALLY makes it hard to! I mean I really appreciate that he cares about me... plus, (Swoons) oof, those lips!
(Confessional: Duncan)
Duncan: (Smirking confidently) not a lot of babes can resist these lips! ...but I was serious about what I said about Courtney! (Sighs) but, if it'll make Gwen happy, I can TRY to tone it down a bit... can't guarantee it'll work though.
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to Zoey approaching the broken bridge)
Zoey: (Groans) the bridge is out! How are we supposed to get across now?
(Zoey doesn't notice Mal walking up right behind her with a very large branch raised over his head, preparing to strike Zoey with it)
Sierra: (Off-screen) Hey, Mike!
Mal: (Looks back) What? (Notices Zoey looking at him and tosses the branch over the cliff, speaking like Mike again) Hey, there you are! (Scoots over and puts his hand on Zoey's shoulder)
(Sierra runs into view (Still carrying Cameron) and stops in front of Mal and Zoey)
Cameron: Mike, where'd you go?
Mal: Sorry Cam, a bear chased me away. (Zoey's eyes widened) But it's ok; I think I shook 'em.
Zoey: But with the weird moon, wouldn't a bear be all sweet and cuddly?
Mal: (Glares at her but then recovers) Right, right! (Slaps his forehead) Oh, I'm an idiot.
Noah: (Off-screen) hold it!!
(Noah and Dawn run in; Dawn looks a lot calmer than she did earlier, and Noah is out of breath)
Zoey: (Relieved) THERE you two are! What happened to you guys?
Dawn: We were separated from Owen and Brick. And fair Noah rescued me from the poor misguided creatures affected by the moon!
Zoey: aww, that's so swe-
Noah: (Panting) PLEASE! No sweet-talk right now! I already feel like I'm gonna puke up blood!
(Mal notices Dawn glaring at him)
Mal: uh... something wrong, Dawn?
Dawn: (Glaring as if she knows something) oh nothing, nothing at all, "Mike!"
Sierra: I know how we can cross the pit! (She laughs goofily)
(Confessional: Cameron)
Cameron: Oh boy, you know you're in trouble when the only person with a plan is Sierra.
(Confessional: Zoey)
Zoey: Obviously Mike is lying, what's going on with him?
(Confessional: Mal)
Mal: Is Dawn catching on to me? Hmm, I better keep a close eye on her.
(Confessional ends)
(Sierra clutches onto a long rope standing on a tall tree branch, the others hanging on below them)
Zoey: I don't know about this...
Sierra: Trust me! Without my smartphone, my other senses have become heightened.
Noah: (Rolls his eyes) yeah, THIS isn't gonna end badly. She said the same thing about living without Cody.
Sierra: Just hold on tight and try not to think about it!
Cameron: (Terrified) Wait, what are we doing?
Sierra: (Giggles) Something AMAZING!
(Sierra jumps, causing them to swing across, all of them screaming. They hit a tree on the other side and fall off the cliff. Sierra holds the rope in her teeth as she holds on to the edge of the cliff. Dawn clings onto Noah causing him to blush)
Noah: (Hiding the blush) Another plan perfectly executed by our second favorite psycho.
(Cut to the finish line, Chris stands right before it as the villains run in, out of breath)
Chris: Welcome to the finish line, villains! Seems like you're still missing a player.
Courtney: (Stops in her tracks) What? Gwen's not here yet? (Calls out) Gwen! Ugh, I knew she'd sabotage us!
(Courtney doesn't notice a moon crazed deer fawn growling at her. When she does notice it, she screams as the deer rears up and snarls at her)
Courtney: (Runs away) Seriously!
(The deer trots after her at a slow pace; finally catching up to her as she trips and ends up on the ground. She screamed as she ran, before tripping and falling. Pan over to Duncan and Gwen entering the scene)
Gwen: well, there's my team and... (Gasps) COURTNEY!!! (Runs off)
(Courtney braces herself as the deer opens its mouth, baring its ridiculously sharp fangs. But as it leans in for the final bite, Gwen throws a stick into it's mouth, trying to push it away as it bites down on the stick)
Courtney: (Surprised) You-you saved me!
Gwen: You'd do the same if the positions were reversed.
Courtney: (Looks away) Well... of course I would...
(Confessional: Courtney)
Courtney: No I wouldn't! If our positions were reversed, I'd be one step closer to a million dollars! And Gwen would be deer food.
(Confessional ends)
(The deer finally breaks through the stick and roars. Cut to Mal pulling Zoey up from the cliff; Sierra, Dawn, and Noah already back up the cliff. Duncan runs past them)
Zoey: There you are!
(The heroes smile and run behind Duncan towards the finish line)
Sierra: We still have a chance!
(Pan up to the moon, which emits another pulse and turned back to its original color. The deer has pinned down both Gwen and Courtney; and is about to lunge for the kill, when the moon pulse washes over it. It stands up, completely normal, and leaps away)
Alejandro: (Calling to Courtney and Gwen) Courtney and Gwen, the moon curse is over! Hurry!
Heather: They know it's over, they don't need you to narrate, Lolly-jandro.
(Confessional: Gwen)
Gwen: THERE'S the Heather we know and... stand within a foot of.
(Confessional: Alejandro)
Alejandro: (Angered) She is so rude, so overbearing! (Happy) I'm so relieved.
(Confessional ends)
(Cut back to the heroes; the moonlight pulse passes over Mal, causing him to gasp. Mike is back in control; he stops and looks around in confusion)
Mike: (Confused) How did I get here?
Zoey: Mike, hurry!
(Zoey and the others have crossed the finish line; Mike runs quickly just as Courtney and Gwen cross the finish line)
Chris: And the villains win, (Frowns) again.
(The villains all cheer; the heroes groan)
Gwen: (Teasingly to Duncan) too bad, so sad, no spa hotel for you.
Duncan: (Smirks, fakes offense) ooh, that one cuts like a knife, babe! (Looks around, notices two missing) Hey wait, where are Owen and Brick?
Zoey: We thought they were with you.
Cameron: We didn't see them on the way... or at least I didn't anyway.
Dawn: Nor has that dear chipmunk. (Eyes widen) wait... I knew what that chipmunk was thinking. ...I can read auras again!!!! (She squeals loudly) It's all coming back to me! That bird's concern for his eggs, that bunny's love life... that yeti's film career? (The yeti she speaks of whistles and walks away awkwardly)
Noah: (Looks shocked and points off-screen) uh, you MIGHT wanna hold that cheering.
(Everyone looks where he is pointing and gasp (Even Gwen and the villains all gasp). Brick slowly trudges in, still carrying Owen across his back, looking out of breath)
Brick: (Weakly salutes) Team. (He falls to his knees as Owen slides off his back)
(The heroes rush over to Owen; Noah and Duncan grab him by the arms and gently lift him up)
Zoey: oh my gosh; Owen, are you okay?
Brick: (Panting) We got separated, and I found him at the bottom of a cliff like this! Nothing broken; but a lot of bruises, and a burn on his stomach!
(Owen moans as he starts to regain consciousness)
Dawn: (Puts her hand on Owen's forehead) oh thank goodness, he's alright!
Noah: Easy, chubby buddy. What happened?
(Owen opens his eyes and looks around. As soon as he notices Mike, he shrieks in terror and stands upright)
Owen: (Nervously) uh... I was attacked by ... uh... a beaver!
Noah: (Raises an eyebrow) a beaver?
Owen: yeah, a, uh... a cute little beaver just uh... attacked me while I wasn't looking. (Laughs nervously)
Scott: I hear that.
(Confessional: Owen)
Owen: I can't tell them what really happened! If Mike or whoever finds out, he'll kill me! And I don't think they've made a coffin for my size!
(Confessional: Dawn)
Dawn: I couldn't get a proper reading on his aura in time... but I think I know who REALLY did this to him!
(Confessional: Mike)
Mike: (Terrified) Owen got scared when he saw me! ...Did I hurt him? (Yells) WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?!!?!?
(Confessional ends)
(Cut to the elimination campfire; the Heroes file in, and the villains are in the Peanut Gallery).
Gwen: (Sighs) wish I was on the heroes team.
Duncan: (Leans over on the peanut gallery next to her) yeah? Well I wish I was back on the villains team with you. So looks like we're even, Pasty.
Courtney: (Glares at him from the seat above) Yeah, I BET you wish you were back here! If you were, I'd see to it you NEVER SEE ANOTHER SUNRISE AGAIN!!!!
Duncan: (Cringes) ...yeah on second thought being a Hero isn't so bad. (Gwen chuckles) Good luck with that one up there.
Gwen: I'll try my best. And thanks for listening, babe.
Duncan: sure, haven't I always been a sensitive, understanding soul?
Gwen: ...actually, you're none of those things.
Duncan: EXACTLY! And don't forget that! (Kisses Gwen on the cheek and goes to join the other heroes, leaving a blushing Gwen)
Chris: Ok peeps; each of you is a loser in your own right. But, the villains won the challenge, so, they've earned themselves another night of luxurious luxury at my spa hotel.
Noah: Redundant statement was pointless.
Scott: (Raises his hand) I volunteer for exile on Boney Island!
Chris: (Shrugs) Sure, I don't care.
Courtney: (Worried) What? No! (Turns to Scott) Why?
Scott: (Puts a hand on Courtney's shoulder) Sorry, babe; I gotta find that invincibility statue. (The copter lowers its claw and picks him up again; Courtney sighs as he is carried away)
Chris: Ok people, tonight we-
Cameron: Wait!
Chris: (Glaring) Now what?
Cameron: I volunteer for the Flush of Shame!
Sierra: (Crying) Noooo!
Mike: (Worried) Cameron, why?
Cameron: Sorry, Mike; I'd love to help you with your, uh, problem, but I just can't take any more of, y'know, this! (Points to Sierra, who is curled up on the ground, sobbing)
Sierra: Oh, are you allergic to long grass? I can get chains instead!
Noah: (Raises eyebrow) I feel your pain, dude.
Chris: (Grinning) Well isn't this a perfect way to introduce the surprise twist. One of today's ejected heroes is tomorrow's new villain! (Everyone gasps)
Cameron: (Confused) What?
Chris: That's right! Instead of flushing Cameron, I'm sending him over to the villains' side!
(The heroes gasp, Sierra sounds more disappointed)
Chris: (Not even sounding sorry) Sorry Sierra.
(Mike suddenly gasps and his hair flips over his eye again and laughs, Mal returning, before pushing up his hair to look like Mike)
Cameron: I'll find a way to help you, even from the villains' side, I promise. (Extends his hand)
Mal: (Grips Cameron's hand, grinning) Gee, thanks, pal.
(Cameron nervously walks over to the villains' side, staring up at them)
Cameron: (Weakly) Uh, hi... (Everyone glares down at him; Gwen's the only one smiling)
(Confessional: Noah)
Noah: WHY?! What was the point of that?! The most villainous thing Cameron's ever done is try to ditch Sierra... and can you blame him!?
(Confessional: Mal)
Mal: Cameron doesn't know what he's in for. None of them do. If I have my way, and I will, everybody loses.
(Confessional ends)
(Chris turns to Brick and Owen, who look terrified)
Chris: And now for the REAL elimination! Owen and Brick, you're both on the chopping block for getting lost in the woods... one of you a bit more battered up than the other! (Chris laughs)
Zoey: hey! Owen already got hurt! Isn't that enough?
Chris: You'd think so, but nope! Anyways-
Brick: Excuse me, Chris.
Chris: (Growls) can I just complete ONE sentence tonight!?
Brick: I volunteer for elimination! (The heroes gasp)
Owen: WHAT?! Nooooo! Why, military buddy, why?!
Brick: I'm sorry, soldier; but I did all I wanted to do: I conquered my fear of the dark and rescued an injured teammate.
Owen: (Disappointed) oh... ok. Well ...I'll miss you, Buddy.
Brick: (His eyes water but he coughs, recovering) I'll miss you too, soldier. But I know once you're better, team heroes is gonna have one heck of a powerhouse. (Owen smiles sadly) so BE READY TO TAKE DOWN THE ENEMY, SOLDIER!!!
Owen: (Salutes) Sir, yes Sir!!! (Chuckles) ha, that IS fun!
(Cut to the flush of shame where Brick salutes as he goes down the toilet. Owen, Mike, Zoey, Noah, and Dawn salute him as he goes down the toilet. Owen sighs sadly)
Zoey: (Puts a comforting hand on Owen's shoulder) It'll be ok, Owen. Come on, you need to get your rest. (She and Mike lead Owen back to camp)
(Noah starts walking away, when he accidentally bumps into Dawn again. They both look surprised at each other and smile awkwardly)
Noah: (Clears throat) we REALLY need to stop meeting like this.
Dawn: (Giggles awkwardly) Well, I wish to thank you for saving me today... and apologize for my ...awkward outbursts back in the woods.
Noah: ah, no big deal. Really; your outburst was really tamed compared to these other girls I gotta deal with. And listen... about what I said earli-
(Before Noah can finish, Dawn plants a big kiss on Noah's lips. Noah's leg pumps upwards. From far away, Duncan and Gwen look down at the two)
(Me - NO COMMENTS!!!!)
Gwen: (Smirking) well THIS looks familiar.
Duncan: (Smirking) yeah... did I pump my leg like that?
Gwen: yep, you were a total girl.
Duncan: yeah, well you kiss like a dude, pasty.
Gwen: at least I CAN kiss like a dude. (They both snicker)
Noah: ...was that just to shut me up?
Dawn: of course not. I merely did that as a sign that whatever choice you make for us, I will support you all the way.
Noah: well... if we do give it a shot and it doesn't work, are we gonna be those kind of ex-couples that try to kill each other afterwards?
Dawn: Why would I want to kill you?
Noah: ...touché. ...Well, I'll give it a shot if you will.
(Dawn just smiles, kisses Noah on the cheek, and walks back to her cabin. Noah just rubs his cheek lovingly)
Noah: well... that wasn't too bad. (Suddenly the floor underneath Noah collapses and he falls through) I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS CAMP!!!
Chris: (Pops up from the bottom right of the screen) Think they've had enough punishment? Yeah, me neither! Find out who's next to take the plunge when we return with another all new episode of Total Drama All-Stars!
(End Credits)