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It's been a good week since Jinyoung experienced his first proper kiss (his first kiss was taken by Jackson while they played truth or dare, don't ask) Jinyoung's has been scrambled with feelings and thoughts so he starts to write them out, hoping to clear his brain.
'I've never felt so alive while Jaebum kissed me, I felt the passion as he made out with my collarbone and left traces behind, unforgettable. I can't say I didn't like it because I did. Jaebum is a nice guy, I don't know him well but he's treated me well, always being kind to me and bringing over food too? That was too kind of him. Do I like him, what does it even mean to like or even love someone, how do I know? I know love isn't based of lust so I can't use the kiss but him taking me home and feeding me were nice gestures I appreciated so I cannot not like him but I don't know if that is relationship wise or just friendship'
Jinyoung puts down his pen and sighs in the air, his head is clearer and hurts less but he wanted to know what it felt like to love. First thing that comes to mind is google
Google search: How do you know when you are in love?
Results: How it feels to be in love
www.lovetherapyknowitall.com/feelingoflove
Quora- So I fell in love with this guy but how do I know I'm in love?
www.Quora.com/user337282829
...
Jinyoung clicks on the first link he sees then explores the article.
'Love is strong emotion. So strong sometimes you can't handle it. Love comes naturally too, don't over think it'
Jinyoung gasps and realises that why he chest hurt after Jaebum left, he felt so overwhelmed that he didn't know how to react.
Love can come in many shapes and forms, if you feel the attraction and the feeling of wanting to be around them, then you like them. If you care about them more than yourself, go out of your way for them to make sure they are safe then that's love. Love is a scary thing but don't be scared to fall, the outcome can be good.
Jinyoung closes is laptop after reading the article.
"So should I let my crush blossom for Jaebum or is it even love?"
Jinyoung was still unsure so he calls the Markson couple to help
"Hey Mark, how are you?"
"Hey Jinyoung, I'm good I'm just watching a movie with Jackson, are you okay"
Jinyoung shakes his head, of course they were together, they were inseparable
"Yes I'm fine, I wanted to ask though, how do you know when you are in love hyung?"
Mark giggles over the phone before cooing at his friend
"Oooo does my Jinyoungie have a man he likes?"
"NO NO it's not that Ma-"
"Is it that Mr Jaebum-nim? Hm?"
"Mark no, just answer my question"
"Well, after Jackson doing the most sweetest gestures to me, my heart swelling in delight, I was happier and butterflies filled my stomach, I never stopped smiling when I was around Jackson, he cared for me when I most needed it and he is amazing in bed-"
"Hyung~"
"ㅋㅋㅋㅋ but he was just the whole package that I needed in my life, my feelings for him grew as we spent more times together and I just fell in love, love is a beautiful thing Jinyoung"
Jinyoung smiled as his best friend spoke about his relationship, he didn't know Jackson made him so happy. Jinyoung thinks back to the amusement park and how much time him and Jaebum spent together, Jaebum doing all the things Jinyoung wanted to do and even took him home.
"Thank you Mark, enjoy your movie and say hi to Jackson for me"
"Alright Jinyoungie, bye"
"Bye"
Jinyoung puts down his phone and stares in space. He understand more now about how to feel when in love and how he is feeling. He did have a crush on Jaebum, it wasn't major but it was blossoming slowly like a flower bud. Jinyoung wants to let his love grow for Jaebum, he cared about him a lot and wanted to see how his crush would develop before doing anything else
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Meanwhile Jaebum has not stop thinking about Jinyoung at all in the last seven days, he thought he had Jinyoung, he was so close but he slipped from his fingers and Jaebum became more frustrated than before, he was slowly losing patience of waiting for his lover to come around. Jaebum craved Jinyoung, he craved him until it was unhealthy, when he was on his medication, his love for Jinyoung is nothing but a simple crush but without his pills, he wanted to forcefully take the boy and make him love him no matter what.
Jaebum promised to meet Youngjae today in the cafe to catch up on each other's lives. Youngjae was a performer so he constantly travelled meaning Jaebum didn't see him much. Youngjae used to take care of Jaebum during high school and university but when Youngjae kick started his career, he didn't have time anymore and trusted Jaebum to take care of himself. Youngjae, being the best friend he is, made sure to check up on Jaebum whenever he was in the city and today was one of those days
Timeskip ~
Jaebum arrives at the local cafe and sits inside the booth opposite Youngjae who was already sipping on his coffee.
"Jaebummie, how have you been??"
Youngjae says with a smile, Jaebum was still a little down and that didn't go unnoticed by Youngjae
"Have you been taking your pills?"
Jaebum didn't want to lie to his best friend but so he could avoid a lecture, he nodded his head in response. Youngjae let's out the breath he was holding, exhaling in relief then questions the other male on what was bothering him
"Remember my neighbour I was talking about?"
"Jinyoung?? Yeah what happened?
Jaebum explains the amusement park to the bandage to the food to the kiss, not leaving out anything, saying it like a short story.
Youngjae was smiling to know that Jaebum had his eye on someone but he was also concerned about his stalking habits
"Jaebum you need to stop stalking him and approach him like a normal human"
Jaebum shakes his head in disagreement
"I'm tired of waiting Jae, I'm not the type for slow, gradual love, if I want something, I will grab it as soon as I can"
Everything Jaebum wanted in his life he never received. He wanted sweets after school but his parents would say no, he wanted first place in his photography competition, he got 3rd, he wanted love from his family but he just got ignored, when joining his college he wanted to be popular but he only has one friend, now jaebum wants jinyoung but this time no one is here to stop him or get in his way
"You need to stop stalking him and love him directly, not from a far, it would be the only way he will accept you as a lover"
Youngjae sips his coffee again and Jaebum goes into deep thought
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I'm back, I've been super busy and I've been scared to write because I don't want to disappoint you my readers, thank you for reading again
Sorry if there was any mistakes, I'll proof read soon