Harry's POV
2 weeks. It had been 2 weeks since Eve left me confused, angry and upset on the couch in my living room. I tried to get my head around what happened, thinking about everything that took place that night that would've caused her to leave in such a hurry without a valid excuse. But of course, nothing outstanding came to mind.
Perhaps it was the fact that I asked her to stay behind to watch the movie, or maybe it was when I decided to curl myself up into her side. The action didn't seem to be that overwhelming, I was only leaning against her whilst we watched the film. It felt nice to be held by someone, I hadn't been held like that in a while.
I miss it, that feeling of being wanted. It was something I craved, that I needed in order to function properly. This was the reason why I slept with so many women, because they all made me feel desired... Even if it was only for a night.
Eve hadn't said a word to me in the duration of these past few weeks. When I came home on Thursdays, she was ready and waiting to leave, brushing past me without a glance as soon as I opened the front door. I didn't want to push her though, she was stubborn and persistent, and if she didn't want to share with me why she was angry, then I wasn't going to force her. She would tell me in her own time, so all I had to do was wait until she was ready.
I was planning on spending my Friday night in bed, going to sleep early and sleeping in till late tomorrow morning. I even went to the effort of sending Alice to my sister's for the night, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting up early to tend to her. I was really in need of a goodnights sleep, the long hours at the office and the pressure of my job starting to really take a toll on me. I had been CEO of this company for a year now, and I still hadn't gotten used to the burden of being in control of so many people.
But to my despair, I found myself at The Establishment, one of those stupid clubs that all the teenagers hung out at. Louis had shown up at my house earlier, tipsy and slightly swaying on my doorstep with a mischievous glint in his eye. Before I knew it, I was hauled inside an overflowing Addison Lee, the minicab filled with a bunch of our colleagues and going in a direction that was unknown to me.
Once we pulled up outside the club, I outwardly groaned at Louis' choice of venue. This place didn't fit it's name at all, it was hardly an 'Establishment', just a large room full of drunken 20 year olds, blinding lights, cheap beer and desperate couples who fucked inside the toilet cubicles.
I had situated myself on the second floor, leaning over the railing and watching the massive crowd down below rave to the deafening music. I was in absolutely no mood to be amongst them, the desire to be at home and tangled up in the comfort of my own sheets larger than ever. I sighed, my thoughts wandering to Eve and what she could be doing right now. She would probably be at a friends house, trying to avoid her parents in anyway possible.
I didn't even realize the smile that was stretched on my face from the thoughts of her, until I felt a hard slap on my back, my mouth instantly scowling as Louis came into view.
"Cheers Styles!" he spoke cheerfully, shoving a bottle of beer into my hand, then clinking it against the glass of clear liquid he held in his own. I rolled my eyes at him, taking a swig of beer before cringing at the taste.
"This beer tastes like piss" I spat, shaking my head and grabbing the glass in Louis' hand. I gulped back the contents, ignoring the burn that sizzled my throat and the after taste of the vodka that definitely drowned out that awful taste of beer.
Louis pouted, "You owe me a drink," looking down to the empty glass that I pushed back into his hand.
"Here" I replied, pouring the abandoned beer into his glass. Louis' eyes lit up as his glass was refilled, gulping down a mouthful before grinning in delight.
"Come down and have a dance" Louis suggested, wiggling his eyebrows and bumping his hip into me. I growled at his childish behaviour, I certainly did not want to go and dance, and I certainly did not want to be spending my Friday night here in this stupid club.
"Go away, Louis" I muttered, turning my head away from him and looking down at the crowd. I really wasn't in the mood for him or his antics. If I was going to stay here a little longer, than I would prefer to do it without his drunken company and snarky comments.
"What the hell is your problem, Styles?" Louis menaced, the tone in his voice threatening.
"I didn't want to come here in the first place, Louis, excuse me for not being in the clubbing mood" I muttered back, raking my hand through my hair and pulling slightly on the roots. I knew I had the option to go, but it would be rude of me to leave without a solid excuse, and sitting upstairs wasn't nearly as bad as being amongst the mass of people on the dance floor.
"You used to love doing this, you know? We'd go out every weekend, we'd get pissed, have fun, get laid" he recollected. I shivered at his words. I didn't like to think about those times, where I'd get drunk to the point where I couldn't walk and would end up fucking any girl in plain sight. It happened nearly every weekend, my craving to be wanted and for physical contact getting the better of me.
Sex was the answer to all my problems, the pleasure I received filling a gaping hole that was gouged inside me once I had signed the divorce papers. Sex was complicated, it was nothing to my mind, but everything to my body. The only concern I had was that of my own physical pleasure, detaching myself from the emotional aspect, and zeroing in on the way it made me feel good and wanted and needed.
I needed to feel something, anything to make sure I wasn't numb or going crazy. The hands, the skin, the gasps, the touches, the moans, they were all part of what I needed to feel normal. It was an unhealthy way to cope, but it worked,
But this all changed the night I kissed Eve, a sweetness and warmth that I had never in my life experienced filled my entire being once I pressed my lips to hers. It was mind blowing to say the least, how one simple kiss could make my stomach flutter uncontrollably, but something as physical as sex could leave me feeling so numb and empty. Eve was what I needed, what I had been in search for ever since the divorce had left me feeling vulnerable and hollow.
"I know, Louis" I sighed, clasping my hands together as my elbows rested on the railing.
"Also, why didn't you tell me Eve turned 18? I wouldn't have thought you were such a freak if I knew she was of age now" he laughed, patting me on the back again.
I furrowed my brows, "She's not 18."
"What? But she's here, I saw her a while ago" he explained, and I felt my heart leap forward against my chest.
"What do you mean she's here, she can't be here? She's only 17, are you sure it was her?" I asked sternly, taking a step towards him. Louis turned his head down to the dance floor, eyes squinting in search for her.
"Positive" he pondered, his eyes still hunting, "She waved at me."
My legs were carrying me down the stairs before I heard his answer. What the fuck was she doing here? She's only 17, how the hell would she have gotten past security outside? She's underage for goodness sake, she shouldn't fucking be here!
I pushed my way aggressively through the crowd, my eyes peeled for any possible sign of her. My heart was racing at an uncontrollable speed, almost feeling as if I was going to pass out from the lack of oxygen entering into my lungs. The air around me was hot and thick, sweat forming along my hairline and my tie feeling extremely tight around my neck.
I continued to push my way through the group, my breathing labored, and my mouth inhaling a large gasp once I managed to free myself from the crowd. I had survived making my way from one side of the crowd to the other, and still with no sign of her. I cursed under my breathe, perhaps Louis hadn't seen her. He was drunk of course, maybe the girl he saw just looked like her.
A few other people were mingling around the outskirts of the dance floor, seated on the couches in the corners of the room. Some were standing around the tables with their drinks in their hands, laughing happily with their friends. My eyes continued to scan the hazy room, until I noticed a head of blonde, quiffed hair, Eve's friend Niall.
Niall was standing at a table, a bright, orange drink in his hand as he was chatting up some girl next to him. My eyes next glanced to a couple on the couch, a girl sat perched on some guys lap, his arm on her waist and her fingers tangled in his hair. I contemplated walking over and talking to Niall, if he was here, and if Louis had assumingly seen her, then Eve must be here somewhere.
I felt as though my heart had been ripped in two, a physical pain erupting inside me that I have never felt before. The girl on that guys lap turned around, her face illuminating under the blinding glow of the coloured party lights. Her smile was wide, a toothy grin spread across her face as she yelled at Niall from where she was situated, snuggling further into the guy that she was sitting on top of.
Eve. It was Eve.
My chest was heaving by now, raspy breathes emitting from my throat at the sight of her with someone else. Anger was seeping through the boiling blood in my veins, my hands involuntarily clenching into fists when her hand rose to cradle his cheek, her face ducking forward and lips pressing wildly onto his. I started to stomp towards them, ready to pull her off the boy and to punch the life out of him. She was mine for fucks sake.
But my feet froze after a few steps, the sudden realization hitting me hard in gut – She wasn't mine, Eve wasn't mine.
I cowered back a few steps, turning abruptly around and heading back to the bar. I gulped down a double vodka, and then another one, until my throat was numb and the burning alcohol in my stomach was faltering against the tormenting pain that was shredding apart my insides. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like the air that filled my lungs was weighed down by a heavy substance, causing me to pant and gasp for breath. My head was running wild, a thousand and one questions running through my mind.
What had I done to her to deserve this?
I gulped down another shot, the anger in me simmering down until I started to feel numb all over. I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to get out of this state and to feel something, anything at all. Before Eve, I would feel like this on a weekly basis, sleeping with whichever girl I managed to get into my bed that night. But ever since I kissed Eve, I hadn't felt that way for a long time. I shook my head frantically, shaking my arms out then pressing my palms to my face.
She didn't care about me, she didn't care about us at all.
I could feel it swarming under my skin, a cold, achy feeling settling in my veins, even though the air around me was so heavy and hot. I couldn't let myself feel like this again, I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to the way I was. I was doing so well.
I was doing well because of Eve.
My hands fumbled in my pockets, grabbing my wallet and phone and placing them on the bar in front of me. Throwing a $20 bill on the counter, I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts until her name came up. I stumbled back through the crowd to the exit, my head hung low and my destination in clear sight on the other side of the room.
My thumb hovered over the call button, my quick strides coming to a halt as I peered at my phone. I knew I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't be calling her, I knewI was better than this. My lower lip was taken between my teeth in anxiousness, my hand pushing roughly through my limp hair that was falling onto my forehead. I could do this, I could get through this myself, I didn't need her.
I made the mistake of looking up, little did I know that my feet had stopped in the exact same position where I had felt my insides rip excruciatingly at the mere sight of Eve with someone else. My eyes locked on her, her body still sitting on the boys lap, their faces close together and her small hands smoothing back his hair as they talked intimately.
I tried to somewhat control the pain that was forcing it's way back around my body. The way I was reacting to this, watching her this way with someone else, had very much confirmed that I had suppressed everything that I felt for her. All these feelings that I had unknowingly developed towards her came flooding through me, my head completely overwhelmed by everything that was happening.
I wasn't supposed to care about us being in a physical relationship, but I did indeed, care very much. There was so much I wanted to do with her that I had to refrain myself from not doing, just because the relationship we agreed on wasn't part of that criteria.
I wanted more. I wanted to be able to hold her hand, to take her out on a date, to be with her without it feeling like it was forbidden or as if we had to hide away from everyone. I wanted to be able to kiss her for no reason, just because I liked the warmth that cascaded through me whenever her lips touched my skin. I wanted her to be able play with my hair without it feeling awkward, and I wanted to be able to lie against her without her running away from me.
I wanted to be hers, and I wanted Eve to be mine.
It had appeared that my attempts to stay unattached from her hadn't worked in the slightest. All these weeks I had thought that I felt nothing for her, when indeed, I definitely felt something for her that I had never felt towards anyone before right at this very moment.
I thought that she may have felt the same way about me, but obviously not.
I tried to ignore the sting when I watched her kiss him again, the slow movements of their lips against each other causing the hindering numbness to pour through my blood and render me completely emotionless. I was kidding myself when I thought she could ever have feelings for me. She even told me herself that she didn't care what I did or who I slept with because we were nothing.
It was one thing to say that we were nothing, but it had never hurt more watching her endorse her words as she kissed someone else. She had confirmed it all, I was nothing to her.
My thumb pressed down on the call button, hard.
I practically ran from the club, the dial tone playing through my ears as the harsh wind enveloped my body. I couldn't feel a thing, my skin prickling and my breathes quickening as I waited for her to pick up. I was kidding myself when I thought I could get through this on my own. I needed it, I need her, and I needed her now.
"Lucy?" I croaked, my voice incredibly hoarse once the dial tone had stopped ringing.
"Harry? Wow, I haven't heard from you in a while" she breathed, her voice bringing back a series unwanted memories.
"I need you to come get me" I demanded, the words tasting foul in my mouth but my body longing for what was about to come if she said yes.
There was a pause, she was obviously contemplating if this was good idea or not, "I, um... Okay, where are you?" she finally replied.
"I'm at that club in town, the one a few blocks down from my work" I explained, chewing on my lip roughly, still unable to feel anything.
"Alright, I'll be there soon" she spoke, and I found myself sighing in relief.
*****
hiiiii
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