Dresses?
No. Pants, jeans, T-shirts and sneakers are all I need.
Expensive underwear?
No thanks. I buy all my plain white underwears at the supermarket. Why buy one piece that worths $56.99 when you could buy five pairs in all for 8 dollars?
Practicality people. Practicality.
Accessories?
A watch would do just fine.
Make up?
Never.
Any kind of perfume?
I don't smell bad...so I guess I don't really need to wear some, let alone buy. Besides, I think my shampoo smells great! So I think that's all I need.
These are the things I would never understand. Why are girls so obsessed with those things? I mean, sure they look nice but do you really need to wear make up every single day?
There are even these girls who would never face a camera without baby cream-lipstick-eyeliner-mascara on.
Seriously, those kinds of girls scares me sometimes. Whenever I see girls with make up on, I always doubt whether they really look nice or not.
I don't really mean to offend them. I'm just curious on why they think they're not pretty if make up wasn't involve anymore.
I'm just saying; there's nothing wrong with your face. You don't need to put face paint on to look good. Don't let the outcome of those get the better of you. Putting make up on, wearing revealing clothes or any expensive attire doesn't make you better. Sure they look great, but don't brainwash yourself thinking you wouldn't look nice anymore without them.
You're fine just the way you are.
I'm fine just the way I am...
"Penny, just please do this for me." said Kim, with a pleading look. "Wearing dresses isn't that bad."
"Kim, don't start this." I warned. "I'm not doing it even if you pay me."
"But Rose really need the help." she said. "She can't take all those pictures with only one model. We'll take forever if I do this alone."
Rose is Kim's cousin. She's a college student who's studying fasion design. She arrived here from Brooklyn to give Kim a little visit. Rose brought a few dresses she designed and asked Kim to model for her. She needed someone to wear them to take pictures for her portfolio. Unfortunately, Rose needed to finish it before tomorrow night. Kim asked if I could model as well to double the time but of course, I'm not too thrilled with the idea.
"You know I don't wear those kinds of things." I reminded. "And how will I know this isn't one of your tricks to see me in them?"
If you must know, Kim had never saw me in a dress before. Never. Not even once throughout the years we've known each other. In fact, I don't think anyone saw me in them before. Except for Lloyd and Beck that is. Lloyd saw me a bunch of times during our childhood days and Beck when I went to his cousin's wedding.
"Penny, this isn't about me. It's about Rose." said Kim.
I raised a brow.
"Okay fine, maybe a little." she admitted. "But anyways, can you just do it? Wearing dresses isn't that bad, come on."
I shook my head. "Nope. No can do."
"Penny please!" Kim reached out and grabbed both my hands. "Can I please just see you once?! Just once, damn it!"
"Kim, let go!" I tried pulling my hands out. We're eating in Greg's Food Place and there's actually a lot of people here. Thanks to Kim, majority of the place's population just gave us their attention.
"Why can't you just do it?" she asked loudly, attracting more attention.
"Do you even know who I am?!" I retorted, blushing. "I'm not doing it!"
"Then I'm not letting go!"
I pulled harder. "This is nothing. Nothing to mind here, folks. Nothing at all." I declared to the people around us. They still stared though.
"Kim, fuck, please let go." I whispered to her.
"Then model for my Rose!"
"I can't be a model, obviously." I muttered. "Have you seen my body figure?!"
"Not really...but I hugged you numerous times so I do have a hint on what it looks like."
I blushed harder. "Kim, please don't make me do this."
"There's nothing wrong with being a girl sometimes, Pey!"
"Fine!" I gaved in. "Fine, God, now will you please let go?"
Kim gave a victorious smirk before doing so. "Great."
I let out a breath, trying to ease up my nerves before settling. "Dresses..." I thought worriedly to myself.
"They're not illegal, Ray." Kim rolled her eyes.
I mimicked her facial reaction just now. "Whatever." I said. "Seriously, Kim, why can't you just find someone else to do it?"
Kim's face fell, and that's where I realized I mentioned something that shouldn't be brought up. "Well...you're my only friend, Penny."
My heart sank. I sucked my lips and felt quilt filling up my chest. For a moment, I couldn't look at her in the eyes. I felt horrible, having to bring that up.
"Yeah..." I replied quietly.
So, I guess you figured that this is one of those subjects you can't talk about with Kim. Though we're probably in the same page; from not socializing much- but we all know how Kim's situation is a little- you know,more different than mine.
Atleast for me, this is my choice. But Kim, people are actually talking shit behind back her back. Or worst.
Getting over that little mistake, we discussed more about Rose's dresses. I think my face grew paler and paler by the minute Kim describe them.
Oh God. I just can't imagine myself wearing those...
Just when I was going to ran my hand down my face, I looked outside the window and saw a particular someone.
She seems to be carrying a load of stuffs in her bag. It's saturday so I wondered where she had came from with a school bag.
I stood up and decided to come up to her.
"Kim, wait right here. I'll be back."
I didn't even wait for her to respond before storming off. When I got out and saw her back, I called; "Mica!?"
It made her jump. She turned around, exhaling and inhaling continously. "P-Penny?"
I walked up to her. When I got close enough, I saw the many stained sweats on her face.
"Where did you come from?" I asked.
"From school." she answered, trying to put a smile on her face. "Did some student council stuff.."
I almost forgot. Mica's one of the student council members.
"What's in your bag?" I asked, sneering at her backpack.
"Just..." she kept trying to put on a smile. "A bunch of paper works."
After giving her a concern look, my eyes went down to her legs and saw them shaking.
"Mica, do you have parents?" I asked worriedly. "You should really ask them to give you a ride home or something."
She shook her head weakly. "Oh no, I can't. My parents are always busy, you see."
"Still..." I mumbled to myself.
"Well, it's really nice to see you again, Penny, but I really need to finish these paper works."
"Why won't you eat with us first?" I offered. "You look really tired and it seems you need a little break."
"Oh no, I really couldn't." she quickly rejected.
"No, I insist. Really."
Without permission, I took hold of her wrist and pulled her. But apprently, I stopped as I felt something boney. I took a glance at my hold and stared.
My look went up to her face concernly, trying to see if there's anything wrong with her.
Her wrist felt so skinny and thin. And from the looks of it; her wearing that slightly thick jacket kind of hides her true body figure.
I grew concern...is she underweight?
"Aaah.." I stammared, totally loss of words.
"Is...there anything wrong?" she asked.
I looked at her again and this time, Mica gave me a delicate feeling. She looks so fragile as we speak that I couldn't help but feel sympathetic.
"We're going to eat." I announced.
"What--" before Mica could complain any further, I immediately went behind her and took her bag.
Woah, it isn't even that heavy.
"Come on, get inside." I pushed her back towards the door.
Mica kept insisting to leave but of course, I couldn't let that happen. I kept blocking her every word with my voice til we finally arrived at our table. I ordered her to sit down and she innocently did. I sat beside her, blocking her way in case she planned to leave.
"H-Hi." she greeted Kim.
"H-Hey." Kim responded, with wide eyes. "You're the rich girl, right?"
It's my turn to look at Mica with wide eyes. "You're rich?"
Mica slightly shrugged.
"She is, Penny." Kim answered. "Her parents are millionaires. Do you know RiverHill Hotel?"
I nodded.
"Well her parents," she used her thumb to point at Mica. "owns it."
My jaw dropped. "Woah."
"It's not really...a big place." Mica said.
"Not a big place?" Kim snorted. "Dude, almost nobody could afford that place."
Mica let down her head, obviously scared on what to react. She looked at her hands under the table while pressing her lips together.
"Mica," I started. "If you're rich, like what Kim said, why won't you just get anyone to drive you?"
"I hate the attention." she answered, giving me a short glance."And I'm not really fund of spoon feeding."
"Mica. You're thin." I gave it to her straight. "You're not healthy."
"I'm fine," she weakly answered.
My stomach turned. I blinked, and a certain nerve in me snapped. I licked my lips from irritation and grabbed her wrist again. I pulled down her sleeve and there-- there's her slightly boney wrist.
"You're thin." I sharply said.
She pulled back her hand and let down her sleeve.
I knew Mica was this kind of person.
She's the type to be pushed around and won't do anything. She's weak and defenceless. She's the type that would be too afraid to make a move and would always watch her every word. She's too concious of her surroundings that she wouldn't raise her voice even if she needed to.
She's the absolute type that would never speak her mind out and woud always hide from the side.
I'm not gonna lie; those type of people really irritate me sometimes.
They're the types that wouldn't defend themselves if no one would defend them first. They're the ones who need someone to slap them before getting the idea of living.
I get angry thinking about people who are like this. It's so pathetic and sad.
The sad part is? These people are the ones who have the most beautiful smiles.
"We're eating." I said to her, in a slightly pushy way.
Mica glanced at me. Her eyes were big and cute; very innocent looking. She looked like a puppy and it made me breath some happy air in my lungs.
"We're eating, okay?" I calmly repeated, just for her sake.
Her eyes sparkled as she gave me a stretched out smile.
"Okay,"
-------
There's two things I learned about Mica today.
First;
Mica likes--wait, let me rephrase that; Mica loves sweets.
How do I know? Well, she didn't order anything that wasn't sweet or flowing with cream. She ordered cookies, ice creams and cake.
Who knew our little Mica has the sweetest sweet tooth around?
Second;
She is rich.
Reason? Well, let's just say my budget for a week is not compared to what she had ordered. Compiling it all together, she spent three weeks of my allowance.
Kim and I stared at her; gulping all that sweets into her mouth. It's amazing, for someone as thin as her could eat that many? It's a blessing.
"Would you guys want some?" Mica shyly offered her vanilla cake to us.
Ah, yeah.
"Absolutely." Kim and I answered at the same time, quickly and instantly.
Hey, we saw how she was enjoying her meal so we didn't really want to be a bother.
"So Mica," I began. "how did you know Lloyd?"
And it was an instant reation, Mica suddenly choked, coughed and sniffed.
"Wait, she knows Lloyd?" Kim asked, with wide eyes.
"Yeah," I replied. "She seems to be in good terms with him, Kim."
"Really?" Kim gave Mica her curiously. Honestly, I wanted to reprehend Kim for I knew her curiouseness would totally be irrelevent. I could see in her eyes; she was far more concerned on why she knew Lloyd rather than how she knew him.
I wanted to show her the look of 'manners' but Mica's soft voice beat me to it.
"We just happened to talk...at a certain encounter, is all." Mica said.
"How? Why? When?" Kim was getting way too into this than she should.
"Kim," I called, stopping her before she make things offensive.
"Well, Lloyd just so happened to help me out at one time." she touched her cheeks.
"Oh what?" I asked, starting to feel concern all of the sudden.
"Just with some people," she looked away and took her smoothie from the side and sipped.
I was getting a hint on what Mica's talking about. I know Lloyd, and I know how lazy he can be at sometime, so to actually help someone out; it might've been something serious.
Mica, already being in the student council, seems to be a smart girl. So, without a doubt, Lloyd wouldn't have helped her with some intellectual stuff.
Juding how weak looking Mica is, and like I said; the defencelesa type, Lloyd probably helped her out with some harrassment case.
I licked my lips, totally loss of words as I looked at Mica.
"Mica," I spoke. "do you have any friends?"
I don't mean to be so direct. The point is, I just want to get it straight and make things clear.
"Penny," Kim gasphed, pulling her brows together.
I ignored her and kept my eyes onto Mica.
She's stammering something in her voice, while biting her straw nervously.
"Not...really." she replied quietly.
"Do you wanna join us during lunch hour?" I offered.
Mica lifted her head. She looked at me with sparkling eyes and a face full of bliss. She wasn't smiling though, but I know darn well she's happy.
"Um-- you don't really need to--"
"No, I want to, Mica." I interrupted.
I do.
This isn't even sympathy anymore. It's empathy.
This isn't just for Mica. But it's also for me. I actually want to befriend her. I know there's more to Mica than just shyness and hiding at the side. The way she smiles, she's obviously hiding something wonderful in her. Behind that scared, innocent looking girl, Mica is actually a blissful person full of life. I can see it.
And I want to see more.
And it's not just Mica, but every kid that hides in the dark are actually very charming behind that brick wall they put up for themselves.
They're actually one of the best people out there.
And I, despite being unsocialable, woud want to have a friend such as herself.
"What do you say?" I held out my hand. "wanna be friends?"
Her lips were shaking. Her eyes kept sparkling and I couldn't help but smile at her attempt to not cry.
She nodded happily and took my hand.
-----
I'm happy that I get to be friends with Mica. But since it's official, my concern about her underweight state never left.
I've been worried about her state, and the thought of wanting to change things was far too great to brush off.
Everytime I remember her thick sweater makes me wonder how thin she actually is.
What concerns me more is that; if she's really rich, then why the heck is she underweight? Is no one taking care of her? Is no one following up about her health, like what the hell?
This is wrong. Totally wrong.
I don't like being spoon fed...
Those were Mica's words that kept appearing in my head.
What does that even mean? Sure it means she likes to do things on her own but to be unaware of her needs for her body?
I don't understand.
"Hey," Kalvin's voice snapped me. "what's gotten into you?"
I tasted my dry mouth and realized how I've been drowning in thoughts.
"Ah, sorry," I rubbed my head, trying to get back to reality.
"You're weirding me out, Ray. It's not like you to daydream during tutor sessions. Mostly you'd be too busy yelling at me to teach you, but now? What happened?"
Kalvin's words hit me, and I immediately nodded in agreement.
Yeah , I know. I'm weirded out too.
"Sorry," I said again. "It's just, I made this new friend who just...seems to be a little too thin and it really clench my worries."
"How thin is she?" Kalvin asked.
"Not sure. She wears this thick sweater underneath a jumper which hides her figure. So, I'm not too certain on the details."
Kalvin coughed a laugh. "But isn't that just like you?"
I wrinkle my eyes at him queerly. "What?"
"Well you do wear loose T-shirts, Penny. It does hide your true curves." he said. "Huh. And now that I think about it..."
Kalvin leaned towards me with reaching hands. He was going to grab my waist but thanks to my natural instincts, I quickly got off my seat away from him.
"Woah, woah, woah!" I shrieked defensively. "What are you doing?!"
"I wanna know your body type, kid." he answered, as though it wasn't a big deal. "Thinking about body figures, I'm actually curious about yours, little Penny."
Little Penny?
That sent chills down my spin.
"Do you even hear yourself?!" I questioned him, feeling disgusted.
"Can I just--" he planned to stand up.
"No," I raised my voice. "No you don't. You, sit down. Sit down, Kalvin."
"I'm just curious." he tilted his head, looking at my body. "Do you have a big chest, or not? Do you have a belly? Curvy shape, round shape? What is it?"
I gulped.
Shit.
What am I suddenly feeling? Why is my body heating up? Why can't I move? What in the hell is going on here?!
"I just noticed, little Pey; I don't really know your body figure." he continued. "It's kinda hard to identify if you have a nice bod or not if you never wear 'fitted' clothes."
He rubbed his neck, still scanning my body til head to toe. "So frustrating." he said. "Makes me want to touch you or rip your clothes or something."
Just then, he stood up and came towards me. "Seriously, I'm curious." he said, moving his face towards to mine.
Feeling embarrassed from the sudden closeness, I immediately backed away and averted eye contact with him.
"Can I?" he huskily asked.
I sensed his hands were reaching for my body and that's where I probably snapped.
"Don't. You. DARE!"
And that's, how my fist met Kalvin's face.
_____
Author's Note.
Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts! Please comment and tell me what you think, please?! I'd really appreciate it :)