"Stop it, Harry!" I laughed as he chased Liam with a spoon. "you're scaring him!" I laughed harder.
"He's not scaring me, he's PISSING ME OFF." Liam replied, snatching the spoon from him. Zayn flopped down on the sofa next to me with a sigh.
"You seem to be okay with Harry.. Did you end on good terms?" He asked, his voice quiet as the others ran around the room chilidhshly.
"Yeah, it was more of a discussion than a break up. We both agreed that it was best if we ended it." I lied, hoping he couldn't tell.
"Oh.." he eyed me suspiciously. "That's good then." he winked before leaving me on the sofa. Shit, does he know what we're up to? Harry was doing rather well with not speaking to me, he occupied himself with other things - such as chasing Liam with spoons and throwing potatoes at Niall.
We were waiting to do a live performance, god knows where, and Harry was pacing.
"What if I mess it up again?" he kept repeating.
"10 minutes til we go live." a voice came over the speaker.
"Shit! I'm going for a cigarette." Harry said before leaving the room. About 6 minutes passed before we started worrying.
"Where the hell is he?" Zayn poked his head out of our dressing room door to search for him. "Lou, I know you two are over but could you go find him? You know him better than anyone."
I faked a hesitation before agreeing and rushing out the room and down the hall. I ran to the back doors and pushed them open. Harry was sitting in the dark on a bench with a cigarette in his hands.
"2 minutes." a voice boomed once more through the arena.
"I can't go out there, Louis." Harry's worried small voice spoke behind the cigarette.
"Yes you can." I put my hand on his shoulder.
"I'll mess it up again, I know I will."
"Harry! You didn't mess it up last time and you won't mess it up this time. Just get out there!" I tugged on the sleeve of his blazer. He looked at the ground as he put out his cigarette, breathing deeply.
"I.." he started but his words failed him, causing him to put his head in his hands.
"Harry, you've been working with the vocal coach. You know how to keep your breathing even. You'll be fine, relax. Listen to those girls, they're all cheering for us.."
"They won't be cheering for long, though.. As soon as I open my mouth it will all go wrong."
"1 minute!" I heard a louder voice go across the speaker.
"Fuck it, you're doing this whether you like it or not." I muttered as I grabbed Harry's waist and threw him over my shoulder.
"Louis, what the actual fuck?! PUT ME DOWN YOU SON OF A--" he got cut off as I nudged my shoulder, and him, into the wall. "You utter knob." he groaned and I chuckled.
"30 seconds." the speaker announced and my eyes widened. I whipped open the door and rushed down the hallway, Harry's body slowing my down slightly. He was slapping and punching my back whilst yelling a lot. As the boys turned to see us, their faces went from worried to happy, then they started laughing.
"Sorry we're late. He's heavier than he looks." I chuckled, out of breath already. I put both hands on Harry's shoulders once I had put him down and looked him dead in the eyes.
"Ok, focus. Remember what you talked about in the studio. Breathe deeply and take your time. Don't focus on the anything else, focus on your performance." I nodded and he pulled me into a hug.
"Ok.. I love you." he whispered into my ear and I gladly squeezed him back.
"I knew it.." Zayn chuckled. I realised he was the only one looking. SHIT, we were supposed to be broken up.
"Just don't tell anyone ok..?" I asked quietly and he nodded.
"Sure." he squeezed my shoulder with one hand before walking away. I checked to see if anyone was looking before kissing Harry's cheek quickly.
"You'll be fine." I stated before getting into my position next to Niall. The performance went well and Harry sang through his solo perfectly, his voice deep and angelic, just like when we first recorded it. I sighed with relief as we carried on the performance, then ran off to the left side of the stage. My eyes darted round backstage.
"Where is he? Where's Harry?" I smiled and Niall looked confused.
"Thought you'd broken up?"
"Yeah well, we can be friends right?" I lied terribly but Niall seemed to believe me. I rushed round the back of the stage and found Harry with a big smile, joking with Liam. I hid round the back of the curtain, waiting for Liam to leave. When Liam turned to talk to Zayn, I grabbed the nearest thing and chucked it at Harry's head. Oh.. It was a full water bottle. Oops. He grunted and turned around. I smiled nervously and he raised an eyebrow as he walked over. I hugged him quickly.
"Sorry, I didn't mean for that to hurt.. Whatever, you did great!" I hugged him again and he laughed, his warm breath in my neck. Niall coughed as he began to walk up behind us with a crew member. I loosened the hug and made it look more 'friend-like'.
"Well done out there, Harry." he smiled as he walked past. "You too, Lou.,"
"He can be really clueless sometimes.." Harry shook his head before laughing a little, so did I. Suddenly we heard a very familiar voice.
"Guys, you were so amazing!" she said and I turned around with a massive smile.
"Cher!" I yelled before running to her and picking her up whilst I hugged her. "What are you doing here?"
"I couldn't get tickets to the red or black performance and this was the earliest next performance." she explained and I couldnt keep a smile back. Me and Cher had always been great friends. We were kind of the same in some ways. We both had attitude, loved to sing, sense of humour.. Oh and we both had self confessed crushes on Harry. Although, she liked him while in the xfactor house.. Back then I wanted to strangle him every time he spoke to me.
"So what's the latest news?" Cher asked as I walked with her to the food table, away from the others.
"I wouldn't even know where to start.. Why did you stop calling and texting?"
"The same time you did! We've both been busy, you know. I'm bringing out my own music soon." she nodded, putting a crisp into her mouth.
"Wow, thats great. Have you listened to the album yet?" I asked, pointing to a picture of our album cover on a VIP badge she had on.
"I've heard a few tracks, yeah. Rumour has it that you wrote Same Mistakes. About anyone special?" she winked.
"You have no idea.." I laughed under my breath. "Ok, Cher. You're one of my best friends. So I'm gonna tell you something but you can't tell ANYONE." I stated and she nodded.
"We all know I'm gay, right.. Well someone else in one direction is too and.. Long story, but we're together. " she looked at me as if to say 'tell me more!'. "It's Harry." I sighed and her eyes grew big, her mouth dropping open.
"Oh my god, you lucky bitch, I can't believe this!" she yelled.
"Shh!" I covered her mouth with my palm. "No-one can know. Management and Simon have decided we can't be together, so we have to keep this a secret.."
"ok, ok. Aw Louis I'm so happy for you babes." she hugged me again, her tiny figure pressing into my chest. She was so short that I rested my chin on her head.
"It's not easy though.. I feel like he's hiding a lot from me. And I have to keep on finding out his secrets on my own. Like, he's upset about a break up he had a while ago and gets choked up when he hears this girls name.. I don't get it." I sighed. I felt like I could tell Cher anything, just like she could with me.
"Talk to him about it." she said and I laughed.
"Really, I'd never thought of that?" I said sarcastically. "I do talk to him but when he explains stuff, it just leads to more questions." I shook my head.
"Well, start calling me more often, maybe I can help you decode him." she laughed and ate one more crisp, looking at her phone. "I've got to get back to my hotel now, but it was great seeing you."
"Bye, love." I gave her yet another hug and kissed her cheek. She stood on her tip-toes and managed to kiss my cheek too.
"Bye babe, love ya." she said, her cute accent coming through.
"Love ya too." I mocked her voice, to which she responded with a middle finger. I laughed and downed the rest of my drink as she walked away, saying bye to the others. She whispered something in Harry's ear that made him burst out into hysterical laughter. He covered his own mouth, shaking his head as he waved bye. I gave him a questioning look and he mouthed 'don't worry'. Cher had probably just made a cheeky comment, knowing her.
When we got back to the apartment, I heard Harry sniffling.
"You alright?" I called through the hall and into his bedroom. No answer. I walked through to his room and found him sitting on his bed with his legs crossed. He was wearing grey Jack Wills tracksuit bottoms and a plain white, skin tight tshirt. His eyes were red and puffy but he wasn't crying. He was looking down at a photo, tracing his finger over it.
"Haz?" I asked quietly and he forced a small smile. I walked inside and sat at the end of his bed, also crossing my legs. "You..you have to tell me what happened. With Kimberly. You can't keep leaving these questions in my mind."
"I can barely forgive myself for what happened.. If you knew.. You wouldn't think of me the same way." he shrugged.
"Harry, I love you no matter what. Please tell me." I pleaded as he put the photo down next to him. Hesitation spread across his face and he closed his eyes for a moment, thinking. "Please." I repeated, hoping he'd hear the desperation in my voice.
"You promise you'll love me, right?"
"I promise."
"Well.. When I cheated on her and she found out, at first she acted like she didn't care. She gave me back my hoodie, changed her relationship status on Facebook, told our friends it was over, you know what everyone does after a relationship ends.. But then a couple of days later she started calling me over and over, wanting to get back with me. Do you know how hard that is? I loved her so much, but not that way. I'm gay and could never love her the way she loved me. One night she started screaming at me, crying and asking me why I hated her, why I was gay." he started to explain and started to get a little choked up. I moved closer and put my hand on his leg.
"And she.. She ended the call by saying she wished she hadn't wasted her time with me and that she hated me. It broke my heart because I knew it was the anger talking, not her. She wasn't like that, she was a nice girl. So that night she went out with her friends. They said at first she was really depressed. She was saying that she missed me and was going to drink away the pain. So they took her to the clubs and they got really drunk. All of her friends thought it was time to take her home but she refused to leave. When they eventually dragged her out of the club, the alcohol had made her worse. She was just sitting in an alley way crying while they tried to get her back to the car park so they could ring a cab or something. Soon they got back to the cars and..." a tear streamed down Harry's face and I took his hand, holding it in mine. "it's ok.." I whispered and he took another breath.
"and when they weren't looking, she got in her car.. She drove away.. She drove for about 3 miles before she reached a country lane, a really narrow road. As you can guess, she was driving really dangerously. She hit another car and she went through the windscreen, landing against a tree. Then the car that she hit bounced off a wall and hit her, pinning her to the tree. She died a few hours later." his face went pale and I took my hand and covered my mouth.
"Oh god, Harry.. Harry, it wasn't your fault." I tried to comfort him.
"Yes it bloody was." he cried. "If I hadn't been such a manwhore, if I hadn't broken her heart, if I wasn't fucking GAY, then none of it would have happened!"
"You seriously think this is your fault?" I asked. "Harry, it's not your fault that you're gay, love. Kimberly's death is an awful thing, but you can't blame yourself. She shouldn't have got in the car."
"If I hadn't of broken her heart, she wouldn't have been at that club. She wouldn't have been so drunk. She would still be here.." he wiped his tears away.
"You don't know that. Harry you wouldn't have been able to stay in that relationship if you didn't love her."
"But I should have ended it, not cheated on her."
"Maybe, yeah. But this was just an accident. It can happen to anyone." I rubbed my hand up and down his leg.
"This is the last photo of her. I took it a few weeks before we broke up. Before she...." he handed me the photo next to him. She was beautiful. Her long brown hair framed her pretty face which was smiling down at the camera. She had big blue-green eyes and nice eye make-up.
"She was gorgeous" I stated, handing the photo back to him.
"I know.. But I hurt her bad, Louis. You're the first person since her. I couldn't trust myself, until I found you." he took my hand back, this time holding both of them.
"I understand if you feel differently about me, I really do--" I cut him off, pressing my lips to his gently. I couldn't believe how much this boy had been through. Yet he smiles a lot when we're in public. He just seems so happy all the time now. He's stronger than I thought.
****OKAAAAAY, So this was just a chapter to reveal the secret really. The photo Harry handed Louis is in the side bar, if wattpad isn't being a douche as always. Hope you enjoyed:)****