"She tried and tried and tried. Then she looked back and realized that she had only cried and cried and cried."
• • •
"I'm always watching, Anger. -M"
I didn't burn the card this time. I was too shocked. First, Kitrina has gone back to signing her little notes with an M. Second, she is telling the truth.
The only reason why she would call me Anger would be to prove that she is watching. Seraphina had called me Anger today. She really is watching me.
Speaking of, I never did follow Asher. I am determined to find out what is going on, but I had gotten sidetracked by going to the movies with them.
I've been incredibly distracted lately. Not paying attention to certain things around me. I've been paying all sorts of attention to dangers. I'm constantly looking over my shoulders and an worried that Kitrina is there, about to strike. The last few days, I've been distracted by this, even around the boys who are growing suspicious. My grades are dropping and my time is spent trying not to freak out and have a panic attack.
I feel so weak.
A few cards and a dream.
That's all it took. Now, it will be simple for Kitrina to come and capture me. In hindsight, I realize that all of this was just a ploy, a truck to get inside of my head. And I welcomed her inside with open arms.
And I can't get her out.
I'm so scared.
I hate this.
"Asher, I want to talk," I tell him mentally, swallowing as much of my fear as I can.
"Go ahead," Asher says smoothly. "I'll always be ready to listen to you."
"No, this needs to be face to face," I reply, rubbing my eyes.
"Sure," Asher agrees, but I can detect a tinge of nervousness.
"Can I come over?"
There's a pause.
"That's not the best idea," Asher hedges.
"Asher," I demand. "You will tell me what is going on!"
"You're right," Asher sighs, his agreement surprising me. "This does need to be face to face. Meet me at the cabin."
Quickly, I slip my backpack back on and head out. By now, the path to the woods has long since been memorized.
I run, my backpack pounding on my back with each step. I push myself to go even faster until my muscles are screaming and my lungs are burning like the sun.
All I know is that I need to figure out what is going on and Asher is ready to tell me.
I burst into the cabin and Asher is sitting there with his head in hands. He jumps as I fling the door open. Seeing me, though, he begins to deflate.
"Come on, then," He says in a melancholy manner.
I want to feel offended, but I know that he is just nervous to explain.
I follow Asher out as he trudges through the woods.
"Okay, stop," I order, stopping in my tracks.
Asher stops and looks at me in surprise, his deep brown eyes wide.
"I'm not leading you to your death!" I exclaim, throwing my hands on the air. "Look, whatever you are going to show me, whatever you are going to explain, is by your choice. If you don't want to tell me, let's just go back now."
Asher hesitates, and I think I am going to have to resort to my plan of following him, but then he decides, "No, Rage. I need to tell you. If we are ever going to be in a relationship, I can't hide this from you. "
My heart pounds at his words. I mean, I knew we were all growing close, maybe even in that way. But for him to feel the need to tell me a long kept secret so we can be in a relationship... It makes me want to be a blushing and giggling girl. A normal teenager. Not me. Especially since I can't share my secrets. The secrets that seem to be piling up.
Instead of talking, telling him what I am feeling, I reach out and take his hand. Asher looks at my eyes with so much emotion and intensity that I fear he can see straight into my soul.
Finally, Asher nods and looks away. He starts walking, gently pulling in my still captured hand.
Quickly, I walk beside him as we travel through the forest.
"Here we are," He says eventually.
We step into a grassy area that is surrounded by trees that shade it. A tent is standing off to one side and there is a thick ring of stones around some burnt logs and ashes. A stump, perfect for sitting on, is only a foot or two away from the fire.
Someone has been here for a while.
Everything clicks and I blink my burning eyes.
Turning to Asher, I whisper, "How long?"
"A few years," He mutters, hanging his head.
All the words are stolen from my mouth. I want to yell at him for not telling someone sooner. Beg him to tell the other boys. Cry for my Fawn. Instead, the words do not come and it is all I can do to keep the tears in my eyes.
I pull him into a tight hug, startling him with my sudden action. We stand there for a bit, his head buried into my neck and my head leaning against his shoulder as we hold each other. A wet drop hits my neck and his shoulders shake slightly as he cries silently.
His silent tears tell me everything.
I cry the same way.
"Whoever did this to you won't ever hurt you again," I promise, tightening my grip just enough to show him that I mean it. " I'm here for you, whatever we do now. "
"Come on, then," I say after a few seconds, pulling away from Asher. "Grab your stuff."
"Wh-What? Why?" Asher asks, still not moving as his brow wrinkles in confusion.
"Because I said so," I snap. "You're staying with me. Now come on."
"I can't do that," Asher protests.
"Oh? And why is that?" I challenge.
Asher stutters, "W-Well, what about your p-parents? What would they say?"
I take a deep breath and look him in the eye again.
"We're being honest and telling each other shit, right?" I say, rubbing my eyes.
"Yeah..." Asher replies hesitantly.
"I live by myself. My family is all dead," I state matter of factly, as if it doesn't hurt.
His eyes widen. "I'm so sorry, Rage. I didn't know."
"Obviously," I snort. "I just told you. Now, any more excuses?"
Asher looks at me, takes a deep breath and asks, "How long would I be s-staying with you?"
"Forever," I deadpan.
His eyes widen and I burst out laughing.
"I'm just kidding!" I exclaim, laughing at the deep red painted over his tan cheeks. "You'd stay with me until you have a place of your own."
His hand flutters up to his neck where I see a chain that disappears under his shirt. His eyes glaze over as he thinks it over.
"Don't think too hard," I tease. "Come on. I mean, you shouldn't trust anyone, but you can trust my word. I promise that no harm will come to you while you stay with me."
"Alright," He agrees before adding, "But you can't tell any of the others about this."
"Only if you don't reveal any of my secrets," I say with a raised eyebrow.
"Deal."
"Then let's get packing."
• • •
"You... You live here?!" Asher exclaims as he stands on the doorstep.
I finish unlocking the door and throw it open.
"Yeah, why?" I reply absently.
"It isn't safe!" Asher bursts out.
"You're right," I agree. "I should really start taking it easy on these losers. Make them feel safe and then rip that blanket of safety off of them while they are asleep."
"Wh-What?" Asher says, confused.
"Nothing," I sing out with a sick grin. "Just dump your stuff wherever."
I set the tent and bag that I am carrying down against one wall and survey my place.
It's a small house and a bit run down, but it works. There is a front room with a couch with holes and scratch marks from a cat. The floor is old tile that's cracked but clean. The kitchen is in the corner of the house with a counter that separates the kitchen from the living room. Beside the kitchen lies the empty dining room. The bedroom is just past the dining room and a garage is tucked into the corner beside the bedroom and living room.
All in all, it's not a bad place. But it's small and in a crap neighborhood so I got it pretty cheap.
"Make yourself at home," I declare. "I'm going to get dinner."
Asher works up a bit at the mention of food and I grin in response.
I slip into the kitchen and get started cooking chili dogs. They're hotdogs with chili poured in top and absolutely delicious.
It's important that Asher likes the food. Scientifically, it is proven that if you feed someone, they will trust you. If you eat with someone, you will grow closer to each other.
I really should consider a career as an evil genius.
I serve up dinner and we eat off paper plates, sitting on the floor.
"This is amazing," Asher says, letting out a moan.
I bite down on my lip and do my best to ignore his moaning as I cram more food in my mouth.
"Less whining, more eating," I order, my voice coming out slightly husky.
I clear my throat and shove the last of my food in my mouth. Throwing away the plate, I use the water in the air to rinse my hands off and send the grime out of the house.
Once Asher finishes, I sit down and ask, "So what do you want to do?"
"I want to know why you are allowed to live in your own," Asher says, a thoughtful look on his face.
Instantly, I stiffen up and look at him, my yellow eyes flashing.
"That is enough of that," I decide, my tone overly calm to conceal the fury underneath. "I'm going to oil my guns. You can do whatever."
I retrieve the three guns that I own and quickly disassemble them and begin carefully cleaning each piece.
Asher seems content just watching me, but I can't help but feel like he doesn't even know what he said.
I want to take pity on him and explain that it is just something I don't want to talk about. But I can't even manage saying that.
It doesn't take me long at all and soon I am putting the guns back.
Do I really need a gun? No. But it does help me feel secure. If something were to happen to me or my powers, I would have them.
I got my powers suddenly. They came in full force all at once and I am scared that they will leave the same way.
Now that I am getting these notes, I'm especially glad I have backup of some sort.
The notes...
Dammit, I didn't even think about Asher and the way my place isn't safe.
Taking a deep breath, I rub my eyes and force myself to think. Kitrina has been watching me which would mean that Asher isn't safe anywhere. At least here, though, I can protect him.
"Asher, I'm going to head to the garage to train. Wanna come?" I offer, trying to include him.
Nodding, Asher climbs to his feet and we head into the garage together to kill time by training.
• • •
*sobs* It's so stinking cute!
• • •
Q: Do you prefer to write with a pen or a pencil?
A: I like the way pen looks more, but a pencil is more convenient, in my opinion.