Quinn: Hey guys! We're back with a request from themysteriousnobody
Hamilton: What the heck is a Roomba?
(Several Roomba suddenly roll into the room)
All: AAH!
Peggy: *jumps onto Jefferson's back* What are those things?
Quinn: Roombas! They're these vacuum cleaners-
All: ?
Quinn: Things that clean floors.
All: Oh.
Angelica: *squats down to inspect one* And they just move all on their own?
Quinn: Yup.
(A Roomba comes close to Herc and Samuel)
Herc: IT'S POSSESSED!
Samuel: EEK! *jumps into Herc's arms Scooby-Doo style*
Herc: Take him, not me! *drops Sam on his butt in front of the Roomba and runs away*
Samuel: *squeals and runs for his life*
Laff: *pulls out his sword* Stay back! Back! Back I say!
(Three Roombas roll towards him at one)
Laff: Sacre Bleu! *Runs away*
Quinn: They won't hurt you, guys! They're just little machine-thingies! They clean floors, and that's literally all they were created for.
Laurens: Wait. Maybe not...
Hamilton: What are you thinking, John?
Laurens: *grins* ROOMBA RACE.
Burr: *facepalms* Oh boy...
[Short timeskip]
Quinn: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the very first Roomba Race!
(Hamilton, Laurens, Herc, Jefferson, and Peggy are all holding Roombas in front of a duct-tape starting line)
Everyone else except for Burr: WOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!
Quinn: *holding a hairbrush as a microphone* Hello, Mr. Hamilton, how do you feel about the race today?
Hamilton: I have a really good feeling about this. Me and... *looks at Roomba* I'm gonna call him Phillip. I've always like that name. Anyway, Phillip and I have been working really hard, and I think our training is going to pay off in today's race.
Quinn: Alright, good luck to you. *turns to Laurens* Mr. Laurens, what do you think of your odds of winning today?
Laurens: A HUNDRED PERCENT. Me and Deathstriker are going all the way!
Quinn: *turns to Jefferson* Mr. Jefferson, do you have anything you'd like to say to your fans?
Jefferson: This game is stupid, but if Hamilton's racing I have to beat him
Quinn: ...Okay, then. Miss Schuyler? Mr. Mulligan?
Peggy: We're gonna kick everyone's butts!
Herc: HERC JR. WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!
Quinn: Alright! Racers, start your Roombas!
Roomba-racers: *turns their Roombas on*
Quinn: Ready... set... GO!
Roomba-racers: *put their Roombas on the floor*
Laurens: Yeah! C'mon, Deathstriker!
Herc: Slaughter 'im, Herc Jr!
Peggy: C'mon Buttercup, you got this!
Hamilton: Phillip, you're going the wrong way!
(Jefferson's Roomba knocks into Hamilton's and rams it into the couch)
Jefferson: Ha!
Hamilton: Thomas, you did that on purpose!
Jefferson: I did not, guess little Roomy just knows who the enemy is!
Hamilton: First off, that's a terrible name. Second, QUINN, JEFFERSON IS CHEATING!
(Phillip lights on fire)
Hamilton: PHILLIP NO!!!!!
Jefferson: *laughs*
(Peggy's Roomba plows over Jefferson's and keeps rolling towards the finish line)
Jefferson: whAT?
Peggy: Yay! Good girl, Buttercup!
Quinn: It's a three-way neck and neck between Deathstriker, Herc Jr, and Buttercup! (Wow those sound like the name of three terrible Sonic the Hedgehog OC's)
Laurens: C'mon, Deathstriker!
Peggy: You got this, Buttercup!
Herc. I believe in you, Herc Jr!
Hamilton: Phillip?? Are you okay?? We can still win! Phillip!!
Jefferson: C'mon, Roomy, we need to beat Hamilton!
Quinn: And... the... winner... is...
...
BUTTERCUP!!!
Peggy: Yeah!!! You losers just got beat by a girl!!! *picks up Buttercup, holds it in the air, and accidentally drops it* OH NO BUTTERCUP!!!
Hamilton: *mourning by the flaming hunk of metal that was once Phillip* You did everything right, Phillip...
Jefferson: Except go the right way.
Hamilton: *drops Jefferson's Roomba into the Phillip-fire*
Jefferson: Hey! My Roomba!
Quinn: Okay can someone put that out? We're gonna burn the house down. So, what did you guys think of Roombas?
Laurens: The coolest things ever! Even though mine didn't win...
Peggy: *sticks her tongue out*
Angelica: I think they're really cool! And congratulations, Peggy.
Everyone: *shudders*
Samuel: Uh, guys-
Laurens: Next time, we should do a Roomba fight!
Peggy: Oooh, yeah!
Herc: Herc Jr. will win that easily.
Samuel: Guys-
Laurens: Like, we can make a big wall thing and put the Roombas inside, and they can destroy each other!
Jefferson: Mine will probably destroy Hamilton's again.
Hamilton: Oh shut up! Everyone knows you cheated!
Jefferson: And by "cheated" you mean "was better than you."
Peggy: But neither of you were as good as me!
Samuel: EVERYONE!
All: WHAT IS IT, SAMUEL?
Samuel: THE FIRE IS SPREADING!!! *Points to the Phillip-fire, which is now the size of at least 15 Phillips*
All: AAAAAAAAAH!!!
Quinn: Oh my gosh! Uhhh, we gotta go! See you next time on Hamilton Reacts to Stuff!