a/n: don't get offended that this isn't like in england, i am american and i know about how gays were treated in the 80s, so that's when it's taken place. summer of '85 in page county, virginia.
it was the summer of '85, two weeks before school started and the last sunday of the month. that meant sunday brunch at the local church hosted by preacher henry watson and his wife along with their son. their family was well known around the tiny town the father was the preacher, mother was married to the preacher, and their golden boy son was the star quarterback. if you knew the watson family, then you knew the holmes. their boys were inseparable, same with the wives. john and sherlock have been conjoined by the hip their entire lives. growing up in a small town on neighboring farms made hard for them not to be friends. they were both leaving for college this coming school year and even though john was the most popular boy in the school with his head cheerleader girlfriend, he still made time for sherlock. he always made time for sherlock and that's why sherlock learned he like boys and a specific boy that went by the name john watson.
it wasn't until the summer of '85 a week before the boys left for school that something life changing happened.
sunday brunch was the social hour of the week. even though it was church, that didn't stop the wives from telling each other who was sleeping with who and who was getting a divorce with who. the kids sat separate from the parents. they had their own fun, keeping in on the low so that pastor watson wouldn't get on them. sherlock used to sit next to john but that spot was taken up by mary so he had to sit across from john.
"are you gonna show betsy this year at the fair?" john asked sherlock as he stuffed his mouth with a mixture of mashed potatoes and corn.
sherlock shrugged. "i'm too proud of her to give her up."
"well you ain't gotta sell her, you just gotta show her. i'm tellin' ya there's a grad prize in that beast."
sherlock laughed softly. "what're you showing?" he asked john.
"showing what?" mary asked as she took her spot next to john while her best friend molly took a seat next to sherlock.
"showing animals fair week." john informed her as he pushed around the food on his plate.
"i got sheep and goats this year." mary said proudly. "pa said they're guaranteed for the grad prize."
"like the pigs from last year?" sherlock asked as he picked at his roll, looking at mary with a slight smirk.
john snorted some then got a smack from mary. he cleared his throat and sat up, taking another bite of his mashed potatoes.
"it's not my fault that the pigs went crazy!" mary said in defense.
"maybe it was the steroids your father injected into them then." sherlock said then took a bite of his roll.
"he did no such thing!"
sherlock scoffed. "sure." he said, earning a strong glare from his friend across him. "i'll leave, jeez." he said and got up. "the truth can hurt, no need to be a snowflake about it." he said to mary before grabbing his plate and walk away.
john watched him throw his food away then walk outside. he turned back to mary and saw her staring at him in disbelief. "he's a freak." she spat.
"no he's not." john said.
"i don't like him. i'm tired of his shit. i think it's time you drop him." she said then took the roll off of john's plate, eating it.
"he's my best friend! i'm not gonna drop him."
"do you want me to be happy? you know my pa will come after you if his baby girl is upset."
john shook his head. "i got a pregnant goat to take care of." john said and stood with his plate, walking away from the table. he threw his plate away then walked over to his mother. he crouched down next to her chair, ignoring the stares from the other woman. "is alright if i head home and check on grace?" he asked softly.
"did you ask your father?"
"you know he won't let me leave, ma."
"go," his mother sighed. "but you're gonna get lectured when we get home."
"i know." john said as he stood.
"take sherlock with you, will ya?" mrs holmes asked.
john nodded. "i will." he said then walked out of the reception hall. he found sherlock at the back of the building, smoking. "you're gonna get killed by your father if he catches you." he said to his friend.
sherlock glanced at him before taking another drag. "what do you want?" he asked, blowing out the smoke.
"i'm headin' home to check on grace and your mom asked me to take you with me." john said as he stuffed his hands into his back pockets. "i know you're mad, but datin' mary make my pa happy. i don't wanna do it, but i don't want him to get mad."
sherlock sighed and put his cigarette out on the brick wall, flicking it into the cornfield a few feet away from them. "let's go then." he said and walked past john.
john turned quickly and jogged to catch up with his friend.
the entire next week john spent his mornings at football practice and his afternoons at the fairgrounds, getting his animals ready. this year sherlock's pigs were a few stalls down from john and he thought it was weird. they were always next to each other and sherlock doesn't even come to the barn in the afternoons. he only comes in the morning. john wanted to get down to the bottom of why his best friend was ignoring him. each time he went to the holmes' house, mrs holmes told him he was out on the farm with mr holmes or that he had gone to the fair grounds or that he went down to the river. john was sent on a wild goose chase.
it wasn't until saturday that john had spent a full day at the barn and he saw sherlock putting clean shavings in his sheep's pen. john walked over to him and leaned against the gate. "you've been ignoring me." he said.
sherlock looked back at john before continuing his job. "no i haven't."
"you're never at the barn when i'm here, your pigs are three stalls down from mine, your mom is always telling me different places on where you are when i saw you walk into the house and not walk out."
"stalking me now?" sherlock asked as he opened the gate, stepping out and walking to the trash.
"i just wanna know why my best friend hasn't talked to me since last sunday." john said, following behind him.
"maybe it's time we stop being friends." sherlock said as he tossed the black trash bag into the pile of others outside the barn.
john looked at his friend. "you don't mean that."
sherlock still avoided eye contact. "we both leave in a few weeks for school and our relationship is going to end so we should just end it now. you'll find someone new and leave me behind." he said as he walked back to his sheeps pen.
"but i don't want someone else." john said. "we've been friends for ages, and you're just now deciding you don't wanna be friends anymore?" john asked.
sherlock nodded. "yes. that's what i'm deciding."
john inhaled and exhaled deeply, wiping his face as he held back the tears. "fine. whatever." he said then sniffled. "stay the fuck away from me then." he said angrily before storming out of the barn.
sherlock ran a hand through his hair and sniffled. it was for the best. his want for john was getting out of hand and he needed to control it. even if that meant giving up his best friend. he took the chance, but he knew nothing would get better. everything would get worse and sherlock's heart broke just thinking about john hating him. it was fine. he was fine. he took a deep breath and wiped his face before heading over to his steer, starting to groom him.
first night of the fair, sherlock showed his sheep, got second and grand prize. after hanging the ribbons in the pen, he went with his dad and got some food before sitting down at a picnic table and eating.
"john did well tonight." mr holmes said.
"yeah." sherlock said softly as he picked at his burger.
"everything alright between you two?"
sherlock shrugged. "we got into a fight. we're not friends anymore." he said then looked at his father who was frowning.
"but y'all have been best buds since ya were in diapers." he said in disbelief.
"things change, dad." sherlock said. "and we changed."
"well i think it's stupid." mr holmes said. "i ought to have a talk with the boy."
sherlock shook his head. "don't. it's fine. we're old enough to deal with this." sherlock said and looked over at the concessions again, seeing john staring at him. they both looked away and sherlock cleared his throat. "i think i'm gonna call it a night." he said as he stood. "maybe go help ma at the charity booth."
mr holmes nodded. "i'll be at the derby if your mother is lookin'."
sherlock gave him a nod before collecting his trash and heading to the charity booth where his mother was.
during the week, sherlock showed his animals, sat around the barn for a bit, listened in on the gossip, and stayed far away from john as much possible. they always exchange quick glances and when sherlock knew john wasn't looking, he would look at him and see the hurt in his face. he even stared ignoring mary. one night when they were both handling their pigs, mary came in a tried to get him come out and john shouted at her. later that night john was pulled out of the barn by mary's father and sherlock heard every word exchanged between the two. he heard john say he was didn't want to date mary anymore.
it was very late friday night when sherlock walked into the barn. everyone was gone and he went over to his pigs to check on them, seeing john in his stall. he heard john muttering to his pigs. normally people stayed late since they had just sold their animals and they had paperwork and things, but sherlock assumed that everyone had just put it off until tomorrow. sherlock took the chain off his gate, and the loud sound of metal clanking together made john stop talking and look over at sherlock. sherlock glanced before steeping into the pen, checking on the water before backing out again. he hooked the chain again and turned around, running into john.
before sherlock could say anything, john had a hand wrapped around his friend's waist and a calloused hand against his cheek, kissing him deeply. sherlock froze, taking him a second to register what was happening before letting his eyes close and kiss john back.
john pulled away first, keeping his hand on his friend's check as he looked at him. "i've wanted to do that since freshman year." he said softly with a smile, his thumb tracing sherlock's cheekbones softly.
sherlock gave him a half smile then it quickly faded. "this isn't going to work. it's a small town." sherlock said and stepped back from john.
"we can make it work!" john said and held sherlock's hands. "please." he begged softly.
sherlock sighed deeply and shook his head, clearing the feelings from his head. "no." he said and stepped away from john, further this time. "we can't. everyone knows everything here and your dad would flip out if he knew. and your mom. and my parents would lose their minds. the whole town would think so poorly of us and your dad is the preacher and everything would go to shit because homosexuality is a sin and it's just a mist-" sherlock was cut off by john grabbing his face and pulling it against his, kissing him again.
"love is not a sin." john said softly. "it's love." he held sherlock's face. "we can keep it a secret. we're leaving soon so it'll be good, okay?"
sherlock nodded. "okay."
the next day the boys stayed away from each other as much as they could, but by the middle of the night, they were riding rides and seeing who could eat the most hush puppies and ride the round up without throwing up. when they were asked why they were hanging around each other, they just said they got over their fight. by the end of the night the boys were back to their usual summer nights. they left the fair grounds before everyone else and hopped into john's truck, going down to the swimming hole. it was dark, but they had flashlights and the moon light and each other. that's all they needed.
the last week sherlock spent in town before leaving, the boys shared secret kisses and secret looks between them, making the other laugh. they were happy. at night, if they were at john's or sherlock's house they would sneak out to the old barn that split their properties and lay out under the broken ceiling and stare up at the night sky, hand in hand and not worrying about what was happening soon. they only cared about the moment now.
they almost got caught once. it was raining so the boys didn't go to the barn, they stayed at john's and like usual, mrs watson pulled out the trundle and made it how sherlock liked. it was late and the boys though john's parents were sleeping and during the middle of one of their... intimate times, the hallway light clicked on, causing sherlock to push john off of him and onto the trundle, pulling the blankets over himself as mr watson opened the door to john's room.
"night boys." he said.
"night pa." john said then cleared his throat.
"goodnight mr watson."
the pastor gave a nod then closed john's door, turning the hall light off and both of the boys listened for the sound of his bedroom door closing.
"i think we should go to sleep." sherlock said.
john sat up and looked at his friend. "can i come up there?" he asked, raising a brow.
"i suppose." sherlock said then watched john get up on the bed, getting behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist, placing a soft kiss on his shoulder.
"it'll be okay." john said softly. "promise you."
the next sunday, john and sherlock sat next to each other in the front pews closest to the wall where they always sat. they messed around until their mother's shot them a glare and they stopped. it was the last sunday sherlock was in town because he was leaving tomorrow for yale and it was probably the worst day of his life. the service started out by mr watson outing sherlock our on going to an ivy league school and congratulating him then the service turned into the sins committed by boys. most specifically homosexuality sins between boys. john's father went on and on about how man should not lay with man, getting cheers from the crowd as sherlock sat uncomfortable in the pews with his head down, letting every word latch onto him like leech.
eventually sherlock had enough. he got up from his seat calmly and respectfully walked out of the church, not returning. john sat in the pews with his head down, glancing up once to meet the eyes of his father as he told him to come up. john got up hesitantly and walked to his father, looking over about half the town that sat in front of him.
"now, y'all know that each of my preachings comes with a story." he said as he put a hand on his son's shoulder. "homosexuality is a crime in the eyes of god, did you know that son?"
john nodded. "yessir." he said and sighed deeply, keeping his well formed posture as he knew what was coming next.
"well then, why'd you do it?" his father asked. "why'd you go and kiss another boy when you know it's a crime."
john sighed and shook his head, looking down at his feet. "i'm not sure, sir." he responded, looking back up at the crowd.
"i'm sure ya do. runnin' off in the middle of the night to do what prevents people to gettin' into the gates of heaven. loving another person of the same gender is wrong, son. and we're here to help."
john's eyes started to water and he sniffled, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt.
"aren't we?" he asked the crowd.
"yea!" the crowd shouted in response.
john looked over at his mother who didn't look disgusted like most people, she looked hurt and also feared for her son. about what her husband was doing to him.
"now let's all bow our heads and pray. pray that john gets the gay taken out of him so that he can enter the gates of heaven when the time's right." his father said then bowed his head, starting the prayer.
john's mother did not bow her head. she looked at her son with teary eyes. "i'm sorry," john mouthed before running out of the church as quick as he could.
it wasn't until late when john had returned home. as soon as the screen door shut his father was standing in the living room with his arms crossed over his chest. he looked at his son with such a disgusted look on his face. "i thought i raised you better." he started, sighing and shaking his head. "i raised you to fall in love with a woman. not the boy you grew up with!" he exclaimed. "i did not raise my son to be a fag and no son on mine will be one!" he said strongly.
"pa." john said, his voice cracking.
mr watson shook his head. "i don't want any son of mine to be a disgusting creature like a homosexual. i'm ashamed to call you my son now, you have disgusted me."
"well i love him, pa. and nothin' will change that." john said strongly, his voice a bit shaken.
mr holmes sighed heavily and grabbed his bible off the couch, holding up a cross as he started to read from the scripture. john shouted back, creating a screaming contest between the two before mrs watson came downstairs.
"henry!" she roared, causing her husband to shut up. "leave the boy alone! no one in their right mind would do this to their son and you know that!"
"i could never love a fag like him." mr holmes said, causing him to get a good hard smack across the face from his wife.
"i don't want to hear another word come out of your mouth about him. he's our son and we love him no matter what!" she said harshly. "even if he likes boys that doesn't change a single thing about him. and after what you did to him today, i think that's enough. i shoulda put a stop to your nonsense at the church."
mr watson let out a frustrated sigh before shutting his bible loudly. he glared at his son before going upstairs.
"thank you, ma." john said and sniffled.
mrs watson walked over to her son and hugged him. "i love you. even if you like boys, you're still my little johnny."
john hugged his mother tightly, crying softly into her shoulder.
in the morning, john went over to the holmes' to see sherlock packing up his mother's station wagon. he pulled his truck in behind him then got out, going over to the car and standing at where sherlock was.
"do your parents know?" john asked softly.
sherlock nodded as he stuffed his duffle bag into the trunk, closing the back. he took a deep breath before turning to john, showing him his busted lip and bruised cheekbone. "my mom lost her cool and my dad is accepting it, but they both agreed they want me gone, so i'm going." he said.
"can we see each other still?" john asked.
sherlock shrugged. "do you really think-"
"yes. i think it's a smart idea." john said strongly. "penn state is only six hours from harvard. we could meet half way on the weekends, spend thanksgiving at the macy's parade, spend christmas and new years in time square. and i know i promised you that it would be alright, but i promise you this time it will really be alright."
"are you positive?" sherlock asked.
john nodded, "yes."
the screen door slammed shut and both boys looked over at the front porch to see mr holmes standing there, watching them. sherlock hugged john tightly, getting a hug back. "i'll drop my address in your mailbox, write me as so as you get to school, okay?" he asked softly.
john nodded. "okay." he said then pulled away from the hug. he stared at his friend for a second, wanting to kiss him but he knew he couldn't so he patted his shoulder then got into his truck, backing out of the driveway. he took a last glance at the holmes house, at the boy standing in the driveway before putting his truck in drive and going down the road.
a/n: should i make a part two for like their future?