These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
just because when i put the title this song came to my mind!!
________________________________________________________________________________
To say the last 2 days have been emotionally draining was an understatement but Louis made it, thankfully, it was Friday and he made his way to pick up the kids and then home. He had no energy to cook dinner and decided to order pizza for dinner, all Louis can think of was the song Harry sang and how he could not take his eyes off Harry's green eyes and Harry's eyes were glued to Louis blue ones, It became to much for Louis when Harry whispered an "I'm Sorry" that's when he had to leave get away feeling like he was about to have a panic attack that no matter what he did he knew he would begin to start crying and he could not let Harry see him like that so Louis left he went to his classroom to calm down distract himself from everything. Once Louis saw that students were leaving, he texted Zayn that he was leaving. He went and picked up the kids and headed home once there he quickly got the kids out of the car while placing his pizza order he made sure all school stuff was not left behind and going to the front door to unlock the door once he was done placing the order and putting all school bags by the front door he saw Zayn's car pull up and parked next to him to him.
"Lou" Zayn says as he gets out of his car" I need to talk to you outside, so the minions can't listen"
"Ok, What's up"
"I went to see Harry after the performance" Zayn started seeing Louis tense up. Zayn told Louis everything that happened including that Zayn had told Harry about him signing paternity rights away to Darcy being his, everything that had happened the day before when Harry stopped him in the parking lot and he was being as honest with everything never wanting to keep secrets from Louis
Louis just listened to everything Zayn said and all of sudden it became to much for him and began to panic but Zayn sprung into action"Lou look at me, Lou, breathe with me, can you please just follow my voice, breath with me, you can do this we will get thru this together, You ok feeling better"
"Why is he doing this? Why now? Why after 5 years? He left its what he wanted and now he thinks he can come back and I am going to jump in his arms he going to move in and everything will be forgotten, is that what he thinks? NO!! OH hell no!!" Louis whispers yells as a hiccup comes out
" I don't know but he told me he regretting letting you go, that he still loves you and that he will not give up on you or the kids"
"You know the best decision I ever made was to listen to the attorney and terminate Harry's parental rights and I feel safe that he will never be able to get a hold of my kids"
"Yea, I know and i remember how you first were against it how you fought the attorney and I"
"Z" Louis says "have you talked to Perrie, yet" Louis asked trying to move the conversation away from Harry, Louis us tired of talking about them
"Um, kinda" Zayn replied" i told her I needed to talk to her so we are meeting tomorrow for lunch, I didn't want to do it today since I knew Harry's performance was today and I wasn't sure how you would handle it"
"Thank You, I think when I kneed him and punched him I was cured" Louis jokingly states"but, anyways I made an appointment with a therapist for Monday 3:30"
"I can pick up the kids from school and daycare if you need me to"
"No, I talked to Darcy's daycare and they are going to pick up Lia and Darren from school and they will be at the daycare until I pick them up, Just in case your lunch date goes good you can spend time with Perrie start living your life"
"I'm really proud of you Lou with how you have handled all this especially the last 2 days you really have done amazingly"
"I really could't have done this with out you,Z, Thank you will never be enough to repay you for everything you have done for us"
Before Zayn can respond the pizza guy arrived, he handed the order to Zayn and took it in the house while Louis grabbed his wallet and paid him making sure to give him a good tip
As Louis walked in the house he could hear screaming of happiness the kids were running to the kitchen as the kids took turns washing their hands and taking their places on the dining room table, Once everyone was sat down and served their plates, Louis let Lia and Darren know that on Monday Darcy's daycare will be picking them up from school and not Zayn or himself
Once dinner was over he sent the kids to take showers and baths as he cleaned up the kitchen and made snacks to start watching a movie since it was Friday Louis usually would let them stay up later to watch movies, When the movie was over Zayn helps Louis take the kids to bed.
Zayn waits for Louis downstairs
"Louis i want to ask you something and I want you to be honest about it, if you don't have answer maybe that is something you can sort out with the therapist"
"Zayn, just say it"
"Do you still love Harry, are you still in love with him, Lou" Zayn asked know what the answer was but still wanted to hear it from Louis
"As much as I want to hate him, I can't I will always love him he will always be the only one for me, I gave him my heart and he never gave it back plus he gave me the 3 most precious gift anyone can ever give me"
"But if Harry was to ask for forgiveness and wants to try again with you would you be willing to try again?" Zayn ask as curiosity had wandered into him since he talked to Harry in the parking lot at the school looking into Harry's eye he saw regret and remorse for what he did but Zayn could not let Harry know and he just wanted to know where Louis stood on this well he was sure he knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from Louis
" As much as I want say No that is over with to be honest i am sure I would want to try again I still love him which is why I want to see a therapist, i need to sort everything out so I can grow and be strong not just for myself but for my kids, I don't want to just give into to Harry I want him to fight for us to work hard to get us to make him realize that I am no longer the weak Louis from before, but for now I am in no rush for anything having to do with him and I know all my panic attacks and emotions are because i have never felt good enough because of my low self esteem and I need to work on myself before I can think of building a relationship with him or anyone, I need to help myself, better myself, and seeing the therapist hopefully will help to deal with everything and maybe guide me on how to deal with the kids if the day ever comes to that, I was thinking of maybe taking them to therapy with me well more Lia that the other 2 since she remembers more"
"Ok, I get it but Lou please be careful, you have come along way and I don't want to see you go back to where you were 5 years ago when he left, you have come a long way since then, I better get going its getting late"
"Thank you for everything, and good luck tomorrow with Perrie, call me and let me know how it goes"
Zayn leaves, Louis closes the door making his way to his bedroom to change and get into bed as his head hits the pillow he starts thinking about what Zayn had asked him, but for now he was tired so he decides to just close his eyes and sleep
===============================================================================
Short chapter I know but I wanted to seperate the next chapter just wanted to focus on Zayn and Perrie .................Hey Zayn deserves it
all the love