i should have quit this thing while it was good lmao
~
Mari's POV
"Guys, iHeart is in four months and we still don't have anything," Kaylynn groaned, throwing her head back on the couch cushion behind it.
"It's not like we have to have it done tomorrow," Vanessa shook her head, "But songwriting is still hard."
"Mar," Kenzie sighed, "Do you have any ideas?"
"I... I have something..." I shrugged, "I don't... I don't think I'd use it for iHeart though... And I don't...know if it's good..."
"Everything you write is amazing!" Kaylynn shoved my shoulder lightly, "What do you mean you don't know if it's good?!"
"I mean... I don't know..."
"Well, what's it about?"
"No one," I answered a little too quickly, "I mean nothing. It's about nothing." The three girls looked at each other.
"Calum," they nodded in unison before turning back, finding me rolling my eyes.
"Come on, Mar," Vanessa said, "You've written songs about Cal before."
"Yeah, but... You guys aren't exactly...friends...again..."
"You'd feel the same if it were one of us," Kaylynn reminded me.
"But still!" Kenzie chirped, "That song you wrote when you went home for a while is phenomenal!" I made a small noise of protest, but Kaylynn cut me off.
"You're trying really hard to avoid us hearing it," she pointed out, "So what gives?" I looked at them for a moment before sighing.
"I wrote it when you guys went out after our last show in Sydney," I said softly, looking down at my hands.
"You mean the night he..." Vanessa trailed off quietly.
"Yeah..." I barely nodded. I reached down for the bag at my feet, pulling my songbook out and continuing as I flipped through the pages to find it. "You all went out and I was back in me and Kay's hotel room and it was really quiet and I just... I wanted to write... So I did..." I said. I held my book out for one of them to take, and Kenzie grabbed it to hold on her lap so she, Vanessa, and Kaylynn could read the words. "Sorry some of the ink is messed up," I whispered, "I was still crying when I wrote it..."
It was silent for a couple minutes until they finished reading.
"These lyrics are beautiful, Mar," Vanessa commented softly, and I felt the corner of my mouth twitch.
"Do you have music for this?" Kenzie wondered, handing me my book back.
"Kind of," I nodded, "Just what I was able to do on some crappy piano app on my phone and then my keyboard when I was at my mom's."
"Can we hear it?" she asked carefully.
"Uh..." I looked around to see if there was a keyboard in the room, spotting one sitting in the corner with the guitars and basses, "Yeah... Sure..." We got up and Kaylynn helped me move the keyboard away from the mess so I could sit down on the stool by the window.
I turned the instrument on and played some random pieces to make sure everything was in order and doing what it was supposed to. I put my book on the stand for the sheet music and inhaled deeply before beginning to play the song's intro.
Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street
Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all
Losing him was blue like I'd never known
Missing him was dark grey – all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met
But loving him was red, loving him was red
Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song
Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer
Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong
Losing him was blue like I'd never known
Missing him was dark grey – all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met
But loving him was red, oh red, burning red
Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes
Tell myself it's time now – gotta let go
But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red
Loving him was red
Oh, losing him was blue like I'd never known
Missing him was dark grey – all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met
'Cause loving him was red, yeah, yeah, red
We're burning red
And that's why he's spinnin' 'round in my head
Comes back to me burning red, yeah, yeah
His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street
~
Title/song used: "Red" by Taylor Swift