Kim Woojin flourished in a house that got repainted every half a decade, windows cleaned monthly, lawn mowed weekly and flowers tended to daily.
The boy had grown up admiring dainty things, respecting fragile ornaments that caused awe in guests when they came around. He had developed a love for the pretty things; found in the beautiful melodies of the piano to the rich concoction that made gorgeous cakes; never seeing a reason to look at anything else when he could look at things so simply beautiful.
So when Woojin met Chan, he hadn't expected to develop an interest towards the boy in particular — and maybe he wouldn't have if the boy hadn't seemed to be inclined towards him first.
Chan spent most his time on the school's far too large field, practising and training for sporting events that meant he was out of class more than he was sitting in them when it came to end of term matches. His days were spent in competitions and messing around, while Woojin on the other hand, preferred the quiet department of food studies; lowly funded but filled with a passionate atmosphere.
Despite not joining the team, Woojin had developed a liking for the sports events in his own way, for it gave him a great oppurtunity to bake things from the simplest vanilla cupcakes to triple chocolate cookies in return for some recognition and even a bit of extra cash from the stall he placed at the edge of the field. Nobody minded, in fact the team had taking a liking to the boy who provided them treats to celebrate after successful matches.
It had all started in the winter term a few years back, when Chan had peeked his head through the door, dimples popping when he smiled, falling upon the sight of a content brown-haired-boy who sang softly as he sifted flour.
Chan hadn't planned to make an appearance, however the coach had cancelled practise and the male didn't see a reason to go back home straight away, so he had decided to visit the mastermind behind the addictive cookies he hadn't seemed to stop craving since the last match they played; knowing that the boy was probably tirelessly preparing for the upcoming finals too.
Woojin had blushed heavily upon realising that he had company (which Chan later learned turned out to be rare). Despite the unfamiliarity, Woojin welcomed him in enthusiastically, both boys sharing conversations with ease and testing the different recipies which spread grins spread across their faces.
When Woojin thought back to how he fell in love with Chan, he didn't think it was anything grand; in fact he barely even knew when it had occurred. The boy was so easy to talk to, never once had Woojin had a crush that he could've talked to hours on end and known they would've still had things to talk about tomorrow. It became a routine, for Chan to visit him after practicises, warmth spreading through him every time he heard the familiar creak of the door and the drop of the boy's duffel bag.
Woojin knew Chan so well, that he knew when he woke up that morning; something terrible was bound to occur.
__
If there was one thing Seo Changbin hated more than his father's mindset; it was being angry.
He hated the feeling of tears on his skin; the overwheming emotion running down his face. He hated the lack of control, hated how it obstructed his thoughts so even when he did say words which had chewed at the back of his mind, he never felt the satisfaction of putting out the flames of resentment that threatened to burn him entirely.
He had walked out, careful to slow down so Felix's parents didn't question him — for some part of him still didn't want to boy to get in trouble. However he soon realised that neither did he want to go back inside or go to his own house at all. His dad was moving out and despite favouring his mother, it was torture seeing many of their once shared items placed carelessly in sale boxes and charity bags.
Suddenly, he remembered Felix's warning and as much as Changbin wanted his brain to stop thinking about anything relating to the boy at all, the more he hoped to forget the more the warning nagged at him; worse than the pent up words at the back of his head.
He shook his head; dismissing any feeling of being irrational. He often went to the park when he felt like he belonged nowhere else, he was going there because it was his safe place —not even Felix's jealously would take that away.
Walking through the black gate a smile of too-soon-satisfaction rose to his face as he saw the same evening scene play out in front of him. How dumb would he have been, to have given into Felix's words during his moment of hesitancy?
Making his way to the same old bench Changbin sat down, taking a deep breath he tried to reason with himself. He should be happy he was right.
However right didn't seem particularly comforting when his heart beat was on the left side of his chest.
Squinting towards the basketball court, Changbin leaned forward upon realising how oddly empty it was, making him even more confused as to why Felix had been concerned about a group of people meeting. However his confusion was cut short when he heard loud voices behind him; the sort that made his anger look like the drizzle before a full blown storm.
Unlike the rest of the park, that particular area was covered in dense trees, untamed grass snarling in all directions as Changbin watched a group of kids trample all over it with an ignorance that made him wince.
The left side of his chest froze as he watched the group surround the all too familiar blonde, who looked utterly defenceless and for the first time since Changbin had seen him; scared.
"How brave of you," one of the boys near the front smiled cruelly. He was much smaller, the type Chan easily could've sent scurrying away. However at that moment he seemed far more confident than his frame seemed able to carry, "Taking a beating for your boyfriend."
"L-leave him out of this," Chan stuttered slowly while backing away. His breath hitched as he stumbled across a twig, causing Changbin to hold his own, "I don't care whatever shit you tell me — throw me at a wall for all I care — but leave him out of this."
A moment of silence followed, Changbin nearly releasing the breath he had been holding in relief. However it was at that moment when the laughter started, malicious, spiteful shrills that meant the ice spread down from his heart and made its way around his body.
With no time wasted the boy who had first spoken, pushed Chan forcefully back, causing him to hit the hard bark of the large oak behind. Groaning in pain, the boy ignored it, "Just because you're taking his beating too, doesn't mean we've forgotten about yours you gay piece of s—"
Changbin was a coward, he knew it deep down before and knew it then when the moment he heard the slurs of hatred he ran for cover behind another tree, panting in terror as he had hoped to escape it all. However no covering of his ears was enough to hide the noise of bones colliding with bones, cackles and curses of a gang beating that he thought only existed in newspapers.
He squeezed his eyes tight, so tightly shut that he only saw the black that looked better than any colour, better than any tree that could be tainted with blood, better that their fists covered in the sticky substance, better than Chan who he should've helped rolling helplessly on the floor.
He didn't open them for a very long time, not until they had walked off shouting curses with their hostile laughter and a violent silence had replaced it instead. Even when he did, it took him a while to move. He was positive he wouldn't have for the entire night had he not heard a timid call.
"Changbin?"
Changbin whipped around, knowing well he was unprepared for any attack — but more than that he was unprepared for the sight that was Lee Felix, being shy in front of him after all these years.
The boy looked awkward; Lee Felix who never shut up in front of him; sharing anything and everything from the contents of his astrophysics books to what he had ate for dinner, refusing to speak until Changbin showed some means of wanting to talk back to him.
That's what Changbin had thought at least, however it seemed today was undoubtedly a day of many wrongs for Felix didn't wait, moving around the tree in a way that told him to follow.
Slowly Changbin turned, gasping as he was met with the sight of a barely conscious Chan who's white shirt was tainted by red and bare skin covered in bruises.
Felix was crouched over him, ear close to Chan's lips which were just about making out words in a hoarse whisper. Tentatively, Changbin stepped forward until he too, was crouched on the bruised boy's other side.
It was a sight that would've sent seven-year-old him running into his bed covers due to the horror of it all. There appeared to be more blood than skin, the white of Chan's eyes looking terrifying despite their gentle brown which looked at Changbin in concern.
"Don't worry," the boy whispered, cracking a smile that looked far more terrifying than comforting, due to the blood that had ran from his busted lip into his mouth, "The blood spread, there's only a couple of actual wounds."
"W-we need to get you to the hospital," Changbin spoke, bitterly wanting to push himself into a tree like Chan had been for finding his voice far too late.
"No," Chan shook his head, "Just take me ho—"
"I'm so sorry," Felix whispered much to Changbin's surprise, "I'm so sorry that I've been such a dick to you all these years."
Changbin's heart was aching at the sight of his friend laying in pain, but nothing made it ache more than seeing Chan's smile of forgiveness despite the wounds that were still fresh.
"It's okay," the boy comforted, "Just get me home."
Being inexperienced when it came to knowing what to do with a friend who had gotten beaten up, they didn't argue, hoping that as they hobbled home in the quiet streets that they were making the right decision.
The sun had just set when they had dropped Chan home, the boy reassuring them that he could make his way back inside and up the stairs by himself, promising to text the next day. Changbin hoped his parents would say something convincing the boy to get help, however if he was honest he had never really seen Chan's parents at all...
The walk home without Chan was filled with silence, both him and Felix undoubtedly thinking back towards the day's earlier events and wondering where it left them. In fact Changbin was just questioning if he should walk straight into his house without saying anything at all when the neighbouring house's porch light switched on.
Meeting Woojin's gaze of concern; Changbin knew at that moment that Chan was the boy who had picked Woojin up all those years ago.
"He's okay," Felix smiled at the boy who glowed softly in the porch light, seeming to know without Changbin ever mentioning it, "That's what he said at least."
"Of course he did," Woojin mumbled, looking down with a sad smile.
However Changbin had a different reply and it was as cold as the ice Chan would need for all his bruises, "He took a beating for you," he glared, "He's just okay enough to refuse going to the hospital."
Woojin looked back up, pain etched across his face, before nodding, "I know."
"T-then why didn't you go?" Changbin asked voice cracking with the confusion of pain for the hundredth time that day, "You're supposed to be there for him when nobody else is!"
"I was scared," Woojin replied calmly, "I know."
"Stop repeating yourself!" Changbin cried. He knew he was being irrational, for Woojin's terror was the exact one he was bearing and he knew it was the anger in himself that he was taking out on the older.
"Changbin I'm sorry," Woojin replied quietly, "But I need to say goodnight now."
The boy closed the door as soundlessly as it had opened leaving Changbin and Felix alone outside. The younger's hands remained in his pocket as he observed the dandelions in the garden, not removing his eyes off of the flowers as he spoke, "He really loves him you know."
"I know."
"He told me when we were baking." Felix smiled, "You were at the park with him again and he was trying to make something for their anniversary."
Changbin nodded, listening to the crickets whose chirps filled the humid air, "I saw them together a few years ago."
"When people love people they get scared," Felix sighed, "They don't want to think of the possibility of them being a life without them."
"But they couldn't even show their love without being scared."
That night Changbin cried, however this time Felix didn't come to hug him and he didn't dare to visit the younger either. For even though he forgot their argument and would've hugged him back in an instance, that year it dawned on him that something as simple as a hug that comforted him would never give him a life of comfort as long as the outside world existed.
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notes
i felt so sad while editing this :(
sorry for the late update! finally had some time to write while waiting for the taxi to the airport and I edited while waiting for the plane to london ♥️
comment something you remember from 14! For me I started this account when I was 14 and wrote my first fanfic on here (braces) 🥰