I ran.
It was utterly stupid of me. It was the worst thing I could have possibly done. It would make me look guilty, and give Lucas a chance to twist everything in his favour. But, I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't have the presence of mind to articulate these thoughts.
So I panicked and I ran.
People shouted after me as I sprinted for the exit and yanked open the heavy wooden door. I few waiters even tried to restrain me. I threw them off and kept running.
I burst out into the bright, silver moonlight and sprinted as hard and fast as I could down the main street, legs pumping, thick, humid air moving rapidly in and out of my lungs, barely conscious of where I was going or why. People frowned and looked strangely at me. Their expressions floated meaninglessly in front of my eyes and left only the faintest impression on my mind. I had bigger things to worry about.
I had really done it now. I was in huge, monumental trouble. I had shoved Lucas through a freaking wall. Not only that, I had done it in front of dozens of witnesses. After all the talk about meditating and controlling my emotions, I had completely lost my temper and displayed my strength for the entire village to see.
Kerry was going to find out about this. There was no way she wouldn't find out about it. She was going to kill me. She would kick me out of the school for sure. She had already warned me once. She wouldn't let me off so easy this time.
I ran straight back to the school. I pounded across the moonlit courtyard, up the spiral staircase, and across the boardwalk to my room. I half expected Kerry to be there already, waiting eagerly to send me packing, but the halls were dark and quiet. I hurled myself through the door and slammed it closed behind me.
The lights were off and the room was empty. Jewel was probably still at the Silent Heroes meeting. I stood with my chest heaving, my back pressed up against the door as if my insignificant weight could stop unwelcome guests from entering.
What was I going to do? I couldn't leave the village. Not now. I was just starting to enjoy myself here. How could I go back home after experiencing all this? I couldn't. I wouldn't do it. They couldn't make me. Especially not over a stupid jerk like Lucas.
Every time I heard footsteps coming down the hall my heart leapt into my throat. Every time I heard voices, I thought it would be Kerry demanding my immediate dismissal from the school.
But, as the seconds and minutes ticked by, no one came charging down the hall. No one came barging into my room. The place was as still and silent as it was every other night of the week.
After nearly an hour, I recognized Jewel's voice drifting towards me. She was talking casually with Reza, their woods muffled by the door.
Shoot, I didn't want them to see me like this. All worked up and scared out of my wits. They would ask questions that I had no idea how to answer.
The light was still off, so I dove for the bed, scrambled under the covers and closed my eyes.
Jewel and Reza stopped just outside the room and exchanged a few more words. Then, one set of footsteps continued on down the hallway. Seconds later, the door creaked open and I sensed light behind my close eyelids. Jewel quietly shuffled inside and pulled the door shut again, plunging the room back into darkness. She stepped lightly across the floor. There was more creaking as she climbed up to her own bunk, and rustling as she settled under the blankets. Then everything went perfectly quiet again.
I remained completely still, my body stiff as a board. With time, Jewel's breathing became deep and even and I knew she had fallen asleep. But, I couldn't sleep. I stared endlessly into the darkness, fear gnawing at my stomach and troubled thoughts whirling through my head.
-------------------------------------------------------
When I woke up the next morning, my brain felt sluggish and fuzzy. It took me a few seconds to remember why I was experiencing this unpleasant, heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Then it all came back in a rush and I sat up ramrod straight, inches from knocking my head on the top bunk.
This was it. Any second now, there would to be a knock at the door and Kerry would be on the other side, with an army of teachers and committee members behind her, ready to throw me out of the school.
I waited, holding my breath.
Nothing happened. Warm sunlight streamed in through the huge window that made up an entire wall of the bedroom. Birds chirped. The sound of chattering voices filled the hallways. It was a typical Saturday morning.
I heard movement above my head and Jewel hopped down from her sleeping platform. "Oh good, you're up. Breakfast in the courtyard?"
I understood the words. I knew what they meant. But, for some reason by brain failed to register that she asking me a question. I just sat and stared.
"Hello? Earth to Eve."
"Huh, what? Oh right. Breakfast. Right. I'll umm... first I'm going to... err... ahh... just a sec."
I sprang out of bed, snatched my suitcase up in one hand and ran for the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind me. Once I was alone, I began pacing up and down the floor, trying to calm my nerves.
Get a grip on yourself, girl. This isn't helpful. Panicking will do nothing to change the situation.
I stopped pacing and faced the mirror. I looked like crap. My hair was sticking out in all directions like it had been introduced to a powerful volt of electricity. My eyes were red and swollen from lack of sleep. There was a big crease across my left cheek where I must have pressed my face into the sheets.
I caught a glimpse of something and turned my body sideways, angling my left shoulder toward the mirror. There were dark bruises on my upper arm where Lucas had grabbed me.
It was like the final confirmation that last night hadn't been some crazy nightmare. That it had all been one-hundred-percent real.
I felt like I was about to throw up. This all felt so wrong. I didn't get into physical fights with people. That wasn't me. But, last night the combination of confusion and restlessness and my dates arrogant, condescending attitude had become too much for me to handle.
Jewel knocked loudly on the bathroom door and I jumped in surprise. "Hey, are you almost finished in there? I'm starving."
"Ummm," I grabbed my bag and pawed through my clothes, looking from something that would cover the marks on my arm. "hold on, just a minute!"
"What are you doing in there? Don't you normally shower and all that after breakfast?"
"I'm almost done, Jewel!" I pulled out shirt after shirt, only to toss each one into a pile on the gleaming, bamboo floor. They were all made for warm, humid weather. Short sleeves and light fabric. In two weeks here, it had never occurred to me to pick up a sweater or a long-sleeved shirt.
Finally, I reached all my old stuff from home, scrunched into the far right corner of my suitcase. I grabbed the first thing my hand came in contact with—an old, faded hoody that was at least two sizes too big. Something I used to wear on cold winter nights while watching movies and eating popcorn.
Good enough.
I threw it on, attempted in vain to flatten my hair, and joined my roommate outside.
"Well, it's about time. Danielle and Reza are probably already down there. What's with the sweater, Eve? It's like a hundred degrees out there."
"Oh...err... I don't know, it's.... comfortable?"
"Aren't you from up north?"
"Yeah, kinda. Can we just go already?"
"Okay, whatever."
Breakfast was served in the courtyard on weekends. All the different species mingled together under the warm glow of the new sun, and the watchful eye of several teachers. I kept my head down, hoping to avoid any run-ins with Lucas. We zigzagged though the tables and sat with Danielle and Reza.
Everyone around me seemed to be in an uproariously good mood. People crowded around the buffet that ran though the middle of the courtyard. Cats and wolves piled their plates with eggs and meat, the birds and horses with grains and salad. The dessert bar, with pancakes and fresh fruit, was popular with everyone.
My friends ran off and came back with to the table with enough food to feed an army. Jewel had almost nothing but meat on her plate. Sausages, bacon, ham, steak. There wasn't a grain or a vegetable in sight. Danielle's choices were a little more balanced, including cereal and fruit. Reza had stacked his own plate about a mile high with waffles, strawberries and ice cream all drizzled in chocolate sauce.
"Rez, aren't you going to eat anything even remotely nourishing?" Danielle said.
"Hey, I got fruit, see?" Reza held up a strawberry. "And the waffles are whole wheat."
"Really?"
"No."
Danielle just shook her head while Reza began to shovel in spoonful's of ice cream.
The table was quiet as everyone focused on their breakfast. I picked half-heartedly at my omelet. I couldn't eat. My nerves were shot.
Why was no one coming after me? Why hadn't Kerry come barging into my room first thing in the morning? Why hadn't the horses converged on me for attacking yet another member of their herd. Why had the committee not dragged me away for an emergency hearing?
"Eve?"
I looked up. Danielle was studying me from across the table. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Oh... yeah," I cleared my throat. "Yeah, why?"
"You're not eating again, for one."
I shrugged and tried to smile. "Not very hungry, I guess."
"And aren't you dying in that sweater?"
"It was my only clean shirt."
"Eve," Jewel said. "What going on with you? Seriously."
"Nothing."
"Hey, ease up on her, guys," Reza said. "She can wear a sweater if she feels like it. Don't conform, Eve!" he banged his spoon against the table for emphasis. "Be unique! Be different! Fight the power!"
"You've got chocolate sauce on your nose, Reza," Danielle informed him without turning her head.
Any other day, this exchange would have made me laugh, but right now I was too worried to even crack a smile.
I stood up, my plate grasped tightly in both hands. "I'm not really in the mood for eggs. I'm going to get something else."
I headed toward the buffet, my shoulders tense, feeling my friends staring after me. I didn't know why I was still hiding this from them. At least fifty people had seen me with Lucas. At least fifty people had seen my put him through that wall. But, I just couldn't bring myself to tell them what was wrong. I was acfraid of what they would think.
"Hey, Eve."
I dropped my plate and it shattered on the ground, bits of scrambled egg and and spinach decorating my shoes. I turned sharply and found myself face-to-face with Lucas.
He was was sporting a few good scrapes and bruises, but he looked much better than I would have expected, considering the circumstances I had left him in the night before.
I darted a look behind him, prepared to see Kerry or a bunch of angry horses at his back. But, it was just him, looking down at me with his arms folded and the usual haughty expression on his face. I had once found that blazingly confident look unbelievably attractive one him. Now it made me want to bash his teeth in.
"What do you want?" I snapped.
"What's with the sarcastic tone, Eve? I was just saying hello. You can't possibly still be mad about last night. I'm the one that should be mad after the way you acted."
There was an entire host of insults I wanted to throw at him, but I was struck momentarily speechless by his words. I had expected something along the lines of Armageddon when my reckless actions inevitably came back to haunt me. Instead, Lucas was standing here and scolding me like a child who had thrown a tantrum.
"You know, it took me over an hour to smooth things over with the people in that restaurant. I told them you were emotionally unstable and I convinced them not to press charges. They're not even going to hold you responsible for the damage. They already have someone who can patch that wall up in a day or two." He snorted, "I didn't say anything but whoever it is doesn't have a clue what he's doing. Did you see how that flimsy thing just fell right apart? That shouldn't happen. That's nothing but shoddy, lazy workmanship."
That's what Lucas was telling himself? Was he really going that far out of his way to ignore what had happened?
I wasn't sure whether to laugh with relief or throw him through another wall just to prove that I could.
I resisted both urges. I shifted my weight onto one foot and looked up at him through narrowed eyes. "So, are we done here?"
"Most people would say 'thank you,' Eve."
"Thank you," I said, extremely sarcastically. "There, now are we done?"
His face hardened. "All right, if we're going to be seen together, you need to drop this childish attitude. It reflects badly on both of us."
"You're kidding, right? You really think I still want to go out with you?"
"Of course you do. Girls don't break up with me, Eve. That's just not how it works. Now, I'll see you tomorrow night. Same time, same place. "
What was this guy on. "I have a Silent Heroes meeting tomorrow night."
"Cancel it. No girlfriend of mine is going to be running around with that pack of traitors."
"Lucky for me I'm not your girlfriend, then."
"And, one more thing. I don't want you hanging out with that Reza guy any more. I don't care if he's gay or he's got a girlfriend or whatever, I don't like it."
"I'll hang out with whoever I want."
"The attitude is getting old really fast, Eve. I'll see you tomorrow. By the way, dress it up a little, would you? You look like a slob."
He shoved his hands into his pockets and sauntered away, leaving me staring after him, completely baffled. I was beginning to suspect that Lucas was more than just a jerk. He appeared to be slightly crazy as well.
Ah well, a crazy jerk I could handle. At least I wasn't getting kicked out of the school.
I made my way back to the table with nothing to eat and egg still spattered all over my shoes.
"What was that about?" Jewel asked, the moment I sat down.
"Huh?"
"Why were you talking to Lucas?"
"Oh, it was nothing. He was passing on a message from Kerry, that's all."
"You don't still like that idiot, do you?"
Danielle put her fork down with a clatter. "Lucas? Please don't tell me you have a crush on Lucas, Eve."
"No," I said. "I used to like him. Used to. Past tense. As in I don't like him any more."
"Good, because that guy's out of his mind. He's dangerous."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't know if he was raised in a messed up environment or what, but he's got a really warped idea of how relationships are supposed to work. He'll sort of attach himself to one girl at a time, and then turn really crazy and possessive and try to run her entire life.
"He asked me out last summer. Never showed the slightest bit of interest beforehand, then suddenly decided he wanted to date me. I had a boyfriend at the time. I told him that. I told him a million times. He would either accuse me of lying, or ignore me all together. He got really stalkerish after a while. He'd follow me around, demanding to know where I was and what I was doing every second of the day. He would tell me what I could and couldn't do, who I couldn't and couldn't see. No matter what I said, he wouldn't leave me alone."
"He finally let up just when me and Rez were planning to jump him in a dark alley somewhere," Jewel added. "Latched himself onto new girl who made the mistake of actually dating him for a while. He made her life a living hell all year. She could hardly breath without him jumping down her throat. She had to ditch all her friends. She stopped talking to people. Then she started showing up to class with bruises. People heard yelling and arguing from her room all the time. It got so bad that she eventually had to transfer to the other Level Two village in Greenland."
I tried to swallow, but my throat had gone bone-dry. "Shouldn't he be arrested or something?"
"The girl refused to press charges," Danielle said. "She was too freaked out. I think part of her still had feelings for him. No one could talk any sense into her."
"But, people know about it, right? They know what he's like?"
"The students do," Jewel said. "Most of the staff are still pretty clueless about it. He acts like the golden boy around the teachers. He's got Kerry eating out of the palm of his hand. I told you he was trouble, Eve, didn't I? He's got serious issues. Just be glad you came to your senses in time. You don't want that one chasing after you."
My head was spinning. If all this was true, then Lucas was not about to walk away simply because I had asked him to. He had stalked Danielle for months after she had done nothing but reject him. Me... I had stupidly, irrationally, and against every one of my better judgments, agreed to go on a date with him. Was he going to hover over me for the rest of the school year, trying to control every aspect of my life?
I shoved the thought out of my mind. I wasn't being expelled. That was the important part. Whatever else came well... I would deal with it when it happened.