I pull my car into the first open spot I can see through the down pour of rain and pull my key from the ignition. My breathing comes in uneven pants. I feel like I’m drowning. The sound of the rain pelting against the hood of my car sounds like a machine gun, the sound of shots ringing through my ears.
Do it.
I open the driver’s side door and step out, into the storm. I pull my grey hoodie over my head, but the thin material is already soaked. A round of thunder sounds, shaking the ground beneath my feet. For Triton, I tell myself. I feel a single drop of water fall down my cheek. At this point, I can’t tell if it’s a rain drop, or a teardrop.
With my head down, I reach my hands out, making contact with ice cold metal. Without a second thought I push hard, falling through a doorway. The once damp black asphalt is now blinding white, dirty linoleum tiles. I look up, my eyes wide and filled with fear.
Several faces stare back at me, but only one catches my attention. A pair of light green eyes much like the ones of someone else I know. Someone that needs to be protected.
I step forward, my feet thinking before my mind catches up with them, and I suddenly find myself standing in the middle of Southold Police Station. My dark brown hair clings to the sides of my face, my grey hoodie suction cupped to my skin, drops of water rolling down the sleeves, onto the floor.
Do it, my mind tells me again. It’s all you have.
Taking a deep breath, I stare the green eyed officer in the face.
“My name is Kadence Greene.” Thunder sounds from outside, the lights in the building dip. I hold my hands out, preparing my wrists for the nearest officer.
“And I killed Raina Palatas.”
I shoot up gasping for air. The room is dark, but the glow of my TV reassures me that I am in my bedroom, not the police station. My breathing hitches uncontrollably as I try to calm myself, tears streaming down my face.
Ripping the blanket from my body, cold air hits my legs as I get up and jerkily walk towards my bathroom. I frantically search for the light switch and slam my hand against them all, causing both the light and fan to turn on. Shutting my eyes tightly, I shield them from the sudden burst of brightness, but instead see the inside of a police station. Dirty, white linoleum tiles. Opening my eyes, I face my feet. Dark, hard wood sits beneath them.
What is happening to me, I think to myself, another round of tears streaming from my eyes.
I look up and stare into the mirror. Someone I no longer recognize stares back at me. Someone that I had left behind the day Triton was arrested. Someone who is weak. Someone who depends on others to console her. Someone who was me, two years ago. Someone I do not miss.
“You- you need to cal- calm down,” I say to the girl in the mirror. I hold my breath. Tears stain my cheeks, my blue eyes glassy, my hair matted against the sides of my face. Drops of water rolling down my arms.
“Stop,” I say, closing my eyes and grabbing at the root of my hair, “stop thinking about it.”
I open my eyes and grab at the hand towel that sits on the counter before me. I grab at it, my hands gripping it for dear life, as I wipe the trails of dampness from my cheeks. Without letting go, I make my way from the bathroom back into my dark bedroom. Suddenly, the dark does not comfort me.
I lean across my bed, and turn on my side table lamp, illuminating the room before me in a soft, golden haze. Calm down, I tell myself as I sit down, taking deep breaths. I pick at the end of the towel, twisting a frayed string around my finger. Looking up, I stare at the window before me. The outside shows no sign of light.
I feel around the bed and find my phone in the mess of sheets. The screen illuminates, reading both the date and the time. 3:56 am. Still an hour and a half before I’d even normally wake up to get ready for school. I sigh heavily, tossing the phone back into the blanket. There was no way I was falling asleep anytime soon.
Staring back at the window, behind the blinds, it is pitch black, but there is one spot that seems to be lighter than the rest. Still gripping the towel, I stand up and take a step towards the window. Reaching my right hand out, I lift one of the blinds, and peek outside.
The sky is black, the street is quiet. The houses that sit across the street are dark, their curtains drawn, their lights off. All except for one. Triton’s.
I feel my heartbeat accelerate. Other than the upstairs windows, above the garage, the house is dark. Triton’s room. The room that everything came to an end in, all on the same night. I feel chills rolling down my back the longer I stare, and soon enough, I step back and let my hand fall from the blinds.
The thought of Triton and I being the only two up on the block gives me a feeling I don’t like. I feeling I cannot pinpoint. The thought alone drives me crazy and I quickly turn around, shutting my bed side lamp off. Darkness envelopes the room once again, and I pull my legs under my covers. I can’t remember how long I sit in the dark silence, but at some point, I feel my head falling back onto my pillow.
“Why the hell would you drive Thayer home yesterday?”
I spin the dial on my gym locker and pop the door open. My headaches as I listen to Gemma give me the third degree.
“Why would you do anything for that piece of trash?” She questions while tying her sneakers on the bench behind us.
I shrug my shoulders and pull my black sweater over my head, leaving me in a navy blue lace bra.
Gemma stands up and faces me as I rummage through my locker, looking for my gym shirt.
“Don’t take offense,” Gemma says quietly, “but you’re looking paler and skinnier than usual today.”
I freeze, my gym shirt in my hand, as I stare at her out of the corner of my eye. “Thank you,” I say lowly, “I was trying to live up to my title as Ice Queen.”
“See!” She says, slapping my arm, “Thayer passes that terrible name around and a way to say thank you is by giving him a ride home? You’re unbelievable.”
I pull the white t-shirt over my head quickly and begin unbuttoning my jeans. Clearly catching on to the silence she’s receiving from me, Gemma sits down on the bench behind us and sighs.
“Anyway, it’s Friday,” she says through a smile, “so what’s on the agenda?”
I pull on my black three quarter spandex leggings and pull my Nike running shoes from my locker, shutting it over. Taking a seat next to Gemma, I begin lacing up my shoes.
“Shall tonight be a shopping night, or a movie night? Oh! That new James Franco movie came out last week,” she leans down, into my face, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, “and we all know you love James Franco.”
I roll my eyes and stand up. It’s true, I do love James Franco, but sadly for him and Gemma, he’s the last person on my mind at the moment.
“I can’t,” I say while pulling my hair up into a messy ponytail, heading for the locker room door.
“Fine,” Gemma pouts, weaving through the rest of the girls around us, following me into the gym, “then we’ll go to the mall. I’m due for a new pair of heels anyway.”
I turn around to face her, my eyes pleading for her to stop.
“Gemma, I can’t,” I say again, “I need to be home tonight. The cops are going to be at my house going over country club scenarios and I need to be there. For my parents.”
Gemma’s gives me a small smile, and nods her head. “Tell your mom I said hi,” she says.
I try to smile back, but it’s weak and pathetic. Just like the rest of me.
The sound of coach clapping to get everyone’s attention causes me to jump, my heartbeat picking up pace.
“Teams,” he says shortly, “two captains. Indoor hockey.”
The boys silently cheer in approval while the girls groan, clearly unhappy with today’s choice of exercise. Whereas I stand off to the side, too caught up in my own thoughts to realize that Gemma has been trying to get my attention.
“Kadence,” she says loudly, waving a hand before my eyes.
I look up to meet her eyes, a skeptical look behind them. “What’s up with you today? You’ve been acting stranger than normal. Are you alright? You wouldn’t even look up from your desk today in Criminology.”
“I’m fine,” I say waving a hand, “really.”
“Sure, and I’m a six foot Brazilian model,” Gemma says sarcastically.
I stare at her, stuck between telling her about my dream, and telling her about everything. If I told her about my dream, I’d have no choice but to explain to her my past with Triton. I feel a knot form in my stomach. I’d trust Gemma with my life, but something strangely tells me that my past with Triton would be stepping over the line.
“Something is wrong,” she says in a tone that stirs something within me.
“Nothing is wrong,” I say turning on my heel, walking towards the group of people in the middle of the gym.
“Just tell me what’s wrong,” Gemma says relentlessly.
“Nothing is wrong,” I say frantically, “I’m fine!”
“Excuse me,” a loud voice booms from my right. Having a stare off, Gemma and I turn in the direction of Coach, who gives us an irritated look.
“Ladies,” he says, eyebrows raised, hockey puck in hand, “this is gym class. Not the mall. Quit the chit chat. NOW.”
I wince at the echo of his words and turn to face Gemma, who is now staring ahead, clearly about to give me the silence treatment. I sigh, facing ahead myself. To be quite honest, the silent treatment is just what I’m looking for right now.
“Right,” Coach starts, “as I was saying. Hockey,” he says waving the puck in the air, “now, as for Captains. Knight and-.”
“Coach,” Declan cuts in.
Coach Reynolds turns on his heel, wheeling around, giving Declan a look of annoyance. “This better be good Rhodes.”
He gestures his hand towards the locker rooms, “at the door.”
Following coach’s eyes, I look to the men’s locker room to see a figure standing in the doorway. Almost immediately, I feel my blood run cold.
“Palatas,” Coach says quietly, almost believing that his eyes were fooling him.
Triton walks towards the crowd of people in the center of the gym, clearly uncomfortable by the way he runs his hand through his hair, tugging slightly in the process. Something he always used to do when he felt under pressure.
I look down, ashamed that I had remembered such a thing. A sudden bump on my shoulder has me looking back up. Expecting Gemma, I turn to my left, but instead a pair of light brown eyes meet my own.
“Be on my team,” Thayer says with a smile. I stare at him, at a loss for words. If there was anyone who would get more flustered than I at the sighting of Triton, it’s Thayer. Yet here he stands, smiling, trying to get me on his team.
“Come on,” he says, his arm snaking around my waist, pulling me into his side. He lowers his head, leveling his mouth with my ear. “You love playing games with me.”
“Palatas,” Coach repeats with a smile, “I hope those two years in jail didn’t cause you to forget how to play hockey, because it looks like we have an open spot for captain today.”
The sudden proximity of the Thayer and I registers in my mind and I grab his hand, ripping it from my waist.
“Do yourself a favor, Knight,” I say, taking a reasonably sized step away from him, “keep your head in the game, because it looks like you’re going to need it.”
“Excuse me,” he says confused.
“Knight, Palatas, teams!”
Thayer’s head whips in Coach’s direction, the look on his face showing he is trying not to believe what he just heard.
“What?” he questions dazed. Coach spins on his heel and takes a step toward Thayer. Clasping Thayer’s shoulder, he walks him to the middle of the gym and comes to a stop next to Triton. “You,” he says slowly, “and Triton over here are captains. Pick your teams,” he draws slowly.
I feel a small smile play at my lips. If Thayer wasn’t bothered before, his actions prove otherwise now.
“Teams!” Coach yells again, “Someone please choose first. Flip a coin, rock paper scissors, anything!”
“You know what Coach,” Thayer pips up, the sudden shock leaving his body, “Palatas here hasn’t had it so great these past few years so the least I could do is offer him first pick.”
“How sentimental,” Coach rolls his eyes.
I watch as the two stare at each other, their eyes both holding a spark behind them. The question is who’s going to be the first to blow.
“Take your pick, buddy,” Thayer says with amusement, “it’s your first in a while. Make it a good one.”
Turning back to the crowd, Triton runs his eyes over everyone. It’s when his gaze locks with my own, that I knew this period was about to get worse.
“Kadence,” Triton says smoothly.
The room suddenly feels like an inferno as I feel my whole body heat up. I feel the blood drain from my face as Triton stares me down, his gaze having so much intensity I feel my own begin to grow hazy. Multiple pairs of eyes turn and face me. Suddenly, I feel as if everyone can see right through me. Right through my walls, right through all the emotions and feelings I had hid away from their view.
Suddenly, the girl in the mirror is standing in the middle of the gym, and I feel myself begin to shake. My mind goes into overdrive as my eyes stay on Triton’s, but my vision grows blurry and a ringing grows in my ears. Suddenly, just when I feel the tears begin to fall, everything stops. The last thing I remember is Coach calling my name.
Hi guys :) Long time no see. Sorry about that, but here’s an overdue update on TTAAL! I hope you enjoyed, just bear with me a little, it’s been a while since I’ve written this story and I’m trying to get all my thoughts together, so sorry if it’s a little patchy. Hope you enjoyed! xoxo