Chapter Five: Wide Awake
Katy Payne
It was as if my eyes were glued shut. What was this? Hell? Heaven? No. I didn’t have any clue. I tried opening my eyes, I really did, but to no avail. Am I dead? Am I in a coma? These questions were rushing through my head, yet I had no answers. Where am I? Confusion was pulsing through my body, reminding me of an old memory.
“I’m so confused,” I say, my tongue sticking out of the corner of my mouth. “I mean, how does x equal twelve?”
“Look,” Louis said, taking my pencil from me. “You put twenty percent over one-hundred, then you put x over eighteen. Now do you see?”
I work the problem again, to no avail. “No, I don’t see.”
“Let’s work on another problem,” he says.
“Wait a second,” I stop him. “You suck at math. How can I trust your answers?”
“Because I was in grade nine once, too,” Louis states. “I’m not that dumb.”
I huff, shoving him playfully. “Okay, Smarty Pants.” I giggle.
“I am smart,” he jokes.
“You wish.” I grin.
“Oh, how I wish that it was me,” he sings. “Oh, how I wish that I was Louis.”
“You wish I wished I was wishing I was you,” I say.
“You lost me at ‘you wish’,” Louis chuckles.
And you had me at hello, Louis, but I couldn’t tell you that. I couldn’t tell anyone how big of a crush I had on you.
Light. I was seeing light. I try opening my eyes again. I try with all the power I held in my body. It’s getting brighter. I could see it! There it is. I’m here. Am I alive?
I look around me, seeing that I was in a hospital room. That’s not what confused me. What confused me was that there was a sleeping figure in one arm chair, while there was another in a different arm chair. Who were they?
“Hello?” I croak out, my voice very subtle and quiet.
Neither of the two figures budge. I grab a bear that was lying on the table next to me, throwing it at one of the figures. Bull’s eye.
“Huh?” he says confused.
I squint, not being able to see without my glasses. I figured that my contacts weren’t anywhere near, but I did find my glasses on the table. I picked them up, putting them on.
“Liam?!” I screech.
“Katy!” He comes running to me, grabbing me into a hug. “Oh my God,” he says. “I thought we lost you.”
“Liam, I’ve seen Harry naked. I’m pretty sure I could get through this,” I joke.
Liam laughs, turning and walking over to the other figure. Who was-
“Louis!” I squeal with excitement.
He comes rushing to my side, pulling me into a hug like Liam did seconds ago.
“It’s you. You’re alive. You’re… oh my God,” he exclaims.
I push Louis away. “Are you trying to kill me again?” I joke, though they didn’t find it funny.
“Why did you do it?” Liam asks, his voice rising.
I flinch at his tone. The only time he’s ever used it with me is when I spilt soda all over his PlayStation when we were kids. I think he still held a grudge for that one.
“I wasn’t thinking,” I say in a hushed tone.
“Damn straight!” Liam shouts.
“Liam, calm down,” Louis says, putting a hand on my older brother’s shoulder. “We should just be thankful that she’s here.”
Liam sighs. “I’m going to call Mum,” he says, walking out.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Louis says.
“Me too.”
“I’m glad you came tonight,” I say to Louis, hugging him. “Derek stood me up. That’s three douchebags down the drain.”
“Hey, you’ve always got me,” Louis says, cracking a grin.
“You’re right,” I say. “I love you, Lou.”
“Love you, too, Katy Perry,” his nickname for me.
Little did Lou know, I really did love him… more than a friend should.
Those feelings were in the past, though. I was over it.
Liam comes back in with three boys hot on his heels. I noticed them instantly.
“Guys!”
“Katy!”
We all hug, subtle things such as: ‘Glad you’re back.’ or ‘Don’t ever give us a fright like that again.’ were said.
Mum soon arrived in her business outfit still. I assumed she had left work early. And Dad, he was in his business outfit as well.
“I’m so sorry,” I apologize, hugging Mum tightly. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Boys, we’d like to speak to Katelyn alone,” Dad says, using my full name.
It had to be serious if he used Katelyn instead of Katy. I was a bit frightened to be honest with you.
“Liam, stay,” Mum says.
The other four boys walk out, leaving me alone with the three of them.
“Honey,” Mum says softly. “We’re getting you a therapist.”
My eyes widen. “Mum, no!” I protest.
“It’s for the best, darling,” Dad says.
“The best? What’s for the best is Liam actually staying,” I say. “What’s for the best is him not leaving after ten minutes.”
“Honey, we’ve talked about it and-”
“No,” I interrupt Mum. “It’s my turn to talk.”
The don’t say anything else, allowing me to go on.
“I’m eighteen and I shouldn’t be depressed like this. I need Liam in my life, and if he keeps leaving like he does, I’m never going to be okay again,” I say.
“Aren’t you being a little irrational?” Liam speaks up.
“Irrational?” I scoff. “Being irrational is never taking the time to come visit your little sister.”
“I’m going to try,” Liam says. “I’m going to try everything in my power.”
“Why now?” I ask, my voice cracking. “Why not when this whole tour thing started? Huh, Li?”
He puts his head down, shrugging his shoulders. “I was wrapped up in the fame.”
“I don’t want Liam Payne from One Direction. I want Liam Payne, my big brother. The one who beat up every single guy that ever hurt me. The big brother who set my turtle free with me because I loved it so much. The Liam Payne who knows me inside out,” I say, a tear strolling down my cheek.
“Honey, we’re going to leave you two to it,” Mum says, giving my leg a comforting tap.
She walks out with Dad, leaving Liam and I alone.
“What did you want me to do, Katy?” Liam raises his voice. “Drop the tour and come crawling to you the moment a boy breaks your heart? You’re eighteen years old, Katelyn. For God’s sake, grow the hell up!”
“Me, grow up?” I screech. “I don’t need to grow up, Liam. I need my big brother to be there for me when I need him.”
“I can’t just drop everything for you all the time,” Liam yells. “I have a life too, you know? You knew that when I stepped out that door to go to that audition, things were going to change.”
“Oh, yeah?” I ask, raising my voice to his level. “You want to know something? I’ve changed. You’ve changed. I tried to kill myself, Liam. Is that what you call irrational?”
Liam’s jaw tightens. “That’s it,” he says, throwing his hands in the air. “If you want to be with me 24/7, then you’re going on tour with us.”
Wait. What?