Despite himself, Harry quite enjoyed the impromptu all-night 'The School Is No Longer At Risk And We Didn't Even Have To Do Anything' party immediately following everyone's departure from Dumbledore's office. It was a bit late notice, but that was nothing more than cause for both anxiety and celebration for the Hogwarts House Elves.
As Harry had quite a flair for the dramatic, it was only natural that he was a gifted story-teller and so the entire student body seemed quite eager to hear Harry's tale, none more so than the thrill-seeking Gryffindors. He delighted in regaling his housemates with the official version of the tale – to Ginny's great annoyance – and only stopped when it came time for points to be announced.
The minute Dumbledore started listing the current point tallies, Harry ran like his life depended on it to the Slytherin table again. Glancing at Harry oddly, Dumbledore nonetheless continued his recitation, "In first place we have Gryffindor House with 638 points. In second place, we have Slytherin with 427 points. In third place we have Ravenclaw with 383 points. And in fourth place we have Hufflepuff with 358 points." No one was particularly surprised by this news. It had become quite clear early on this year, if not by the end of last year, that – despite his best efforts – Harry Potter was simply not capable of losing the House Cup. What happened next did surprise people quite a bit.
"Congratulations, Gryffindor, and well done," Dumbledore beamed in Harry's general direction. "But before you start celebrating, recent events must be taken into consideration. This has been a very trying year for all of us, working to keep the unfortunate basilisk infestation and inconvenient hospitalizations out of the paper. Had the Board of Governors or the Ministry gotten word of this before it was taken care of...well, I shudder to think of what might have happened then. However, I'm pleased to inform you that the basilisk has been defeated by Professor Lockhart and three exceptional students. In light of this, I have a few last-minute points to distribute."
"Not again!" a Ravenclaw upperclassman who Harry only vaguely recognized groaned. There were several murmurs of agreement from various other non-Gryffindors, which the Headmaster blithely ignored.
"First, to Ms. Luna Lovegood and Ms. Ginevra Weasley for remaining calm and collected in a hostage situation, as well as assisting with catching the perpetrator, I award Gryffindor and Ravenclaw each 200 points." Dumbledore paused here, clearly expecting applause, but everyone was too stunned at a non-Gryffindor garnering some last-minute points to do anything but stare at him. "And to Mr. Harry Potter for his quick-thinking, resourcefulness, selflessness, responsibility in alerting a faculty member, and bravery, I award Gryffindor 400 points."
"I don't believe it," Harry moaned dejectedly. "I mean, I do, but I wish I didn't. 600 extra points...that's, what, 1238? This almost DOUBLED our points. I know I'm supposed to be Dumbledore's favorite student and all, but it sure doesn't seem like it sometimes..."
"I can't believe it," Draco echoed Harry's sentiment. "A Ravenclaw coming in second place? Slytherin in third? I think I'm in shock. Or maybe this is all one big long nightmare...maybe this whole year is just one never-ending nightmare. I probably got a concussion on the train when you and the Weasel fell from the sky any minute now I'll wake up in the Hospital Wing."
"Amen to that," Harry said fervently.
"You know," Daphne Greengrass said thoughtfully. "I've just noticed that every year, it always comes down to either Gryffindor or Slytherin winning the House Cup and Ravenclaw maybe coming in second, depending on how good their Quidditch team is. Or depending on whether or not one of them goes along with the Headmaster's pet student's annual suicide attempt. Why is it that Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff never win? I mean, obviously they are less likely to engage in the foolish heroics that is the Gryffindor claim to fame or strategizing, like we do, but you'd think it would happen every once in a while."
"I am NOT Dumbledore's pet student!" Harry protested. "And I'm not suicidal! It's just that...well, everything always seems to revolve around me."
Theodore Nott looked up from his pudding. "Yes you are, on both counts. You're also incredibly full of yourself."
Harry sent him a withering glare. "No one asked you."
"And no one asked you to sit here," Theodore pointed out. "And yet, here we both are."
Harry opened his mouth and then quickly closed it again. That was actually a very good point.
"To answer your question, Daphne," Draco said, smirking at Harry's speechlessness, "the houses are usually pretty evenly matched for most of the year. After all, Gryffindors often get points for their rash actions and they lose them just as easily. We get plenty of points as well, but have an unfortunate number of...confrontations, that often cost us. Ravenclaws get points for sheer brilliance and the Hufflepuffs rake in their share by just consistently doing what they're supposed to do. At the end of the year, Gryffindors inevitably pull some big stupid stunt that will either succeed and propel them into first place or fail miserably and give Ravenclaw a chance to come in second. We go all-out on our attempts to win points and in the absence of something like Harry slaying a basilisk or saving the Philosopher's Stone, we usually win. Ravenclaws are usually too busy studying to worry too much about how the House Cup would suit their overachieving nature and as for the Hufflepuffs...what are they going to do? Do exactly what they're supposed to do MORE?"
"You've...put a lot of thought into this," Harry said, startled, as soon as he regained his powers of speech.
Draco shot him an incredulous look. "I'm a Malfoy. Surely you don't think we just get by on our looks and wealth?"
"Er..." As it happened, that was exactly what Harry thought.
"It's all about strategy," Draco explained. "There are a lot of very rich people and, with the resources magic affords us, a lot of very pretty people as well. If you want to have an edge, you've got to put some thought into it."
Harry wasn't quite sure how to respond to that and so was quite relieved when Lockhart leaned over to say something to Dumbledore, who quickly stood up again. "It has been brought to my attention that I have neglected to mention that once again, our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor will be leaving us at the end of the year. I am happy to report that, unlike his predecessor, Professor Lockhart is perfectly alright and will, in fact, be retiring to write his new book Baiting the Basilisk. Professor Lockhart has asked me to tell you that anyone who wishes to be quoted in the book should approach him before the end of term."
Harry quickly glanced over at the Gryffindor table. Ginny looked mutinous. Guess she didn't want to be included in the book, then.
----
Harry figured that he might as well say goodbye to Lockhart before he left, seeing as how he had put a great deal of effort into preventing him from getting brain damaged that year.
"So how many people did volunteer to help with your book?" Harry asked curiously.
"Easily three-quarters of the students. In fact, I may have to publish a separate book with all of their accounts," Lockhart looked delighted at the prospect. "I'm not sure what I'd call it, though..."
Harry shrugged. "Don't ask me; I'm not a wordsmith. Try asking Luna, she came up with 'Baiting the Basilisk' after all."
"Ah yes, that is a clever title," Lockhart agreed. "It's nice to see she's doing something to earn that five percent."
"Luna's naturally helpful like that," Harry said shortly.
"That she is," Lockhart agreed, holding out that day's edition of the Daily Prophet. "Did you see the article your reporter friend wrote? It's quite a nice touch."
Intrigued, Harry took the proffered paper.
Basilisk and Black Invade Hogwarts
By Rita Skeeter
Rumors have been flying for months now that Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore has been hiding the reopening of the Chamber of Secrets and a basilisk has been running amok petrifying anyone in its path. Despite these insistences and a visit by Hogwarts Governor Lucius Malfoy and Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, no trace of this alleged basilisk was found. Until now, that is.
Yesterday, this reporter was contacted by an anonymous party claiming to represent Harry Potter and told that Hogwarts was about to reveal the mystery surrounding the castle all year. Skeptical but intrigued, this reporter quickly made her way to Dumbledore's office, where the Weasley and Lovegood families and Professor Severus Snape were already waiting.
Shortly thereafter, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart came charging in along with first-years Ginevra Weasley and Luna Lovegood and Harry Potter himself! Upon questioning, this reporter discovered that these heroes had just discovered a previously unknown basilisk lurking in a hidden chamber, deep beneath the school. The fabled Chamber of Secrets, perhaps (details on page 5)?
As Lockhart and Potter launched into their heroic tale (details on Page 3), it was revealed that the mastermind behind the basilisk attack and kidnapping of Lovegood and Weasley was none other than Peter Pettigrew, long-dead war hero, Order of Merlin first class recipient, and apparently illegal animagus. Stunned, Fudge and Dumbledore quickly agreed to pardon Azkaban escapee Sirius Black as Pettigrew was clearly not blown up and – upon questioning – confessed to the other murders Black was imprisoned for (details on page 4).
And not a moment too soon as this reporter's contact's Polyjuice Potion (which grants the user the ability to assume someone else's form for an hour) wore off and was revealed to be none other than the recently-pardoned Black himself! Black had apparently been tracking Pettigrew for over a year now in order to prove his innocence (Black's story on page 7).
Says Black, "I am understandably very frustrated at the years I spent wrongfully imprisoned by I am confident that now that the truth is out, justice will be served and I intend to seek custody of my godson, Harry Potter and move on with my life."
When asked, Potter had this to say on the subject, "I will admit that I do not know Sirius very well, but I am firmly convinced that he has only my best interests at heart and feel that a magical environment would be better suited for me than the Muggle one I have spent most of my life in. Besides, Sirius was my father's best friend and the person my parents entrusted my safety to in the event anything happened to them. Living with Sirius is something that I want and, what's more, it's what my parents would have wanted."
Though this all took place in Dumbledore's office, he was unavailable for comment.
"Well, Harry, it's been quite an adventure this year," Lockhart said when Harry had finished. "And what's more, I didn't even have to erase anyone's memories. I'm...not quite sure how I feel about that. I strongly feel like I should, but there really doesn't seem to be much of a need, does there? Either way, I enjoyed mentoring you and I think I might actually miss you."
"That's sweet," Harry grinned. "Because God knows that I'm going to miss the opportunity to find out whether or not it is, in fact, possible to beat someone to death with a paper napkin."
"Chin up," Lockhart said cheerfully. "You have five more years to get around to that."
----
Harry spent this train ride home, as he had the last one, desperately evading Hermione's attempts to pester him about his phenomenal test scores. The exams had actually been less painful this year than the year before. Partly, Harry supposed, because the material was slightly more challenging and partly because he hadn't actually taken exams his original second year.
"So what are your plans for this summer?" Ron eventually asked. "I'd ask you to come stay again, but I think Ginny would pitch a fit." Ginny hadn't quite managed to get over her disappointment in the week or so since her rescue, but Harry wasn't worried. After all, it's not like she could stay mad at him forever. Well, probably. She was a Weasley, after all, and only ended up forgiving Percy because Fred had died and she didn't want to lose another brother unnecessarily.
"Don't worry about it," Harry said easily. "After Sirius threatened to sue Dumbledore, Fudge, and half the Ministry for wrongful imprisonment due to his lack of a trial and said he'd tell everyone I was kidnapped after my parents' deaths and forced to live with a bunch of magic-hating Muggles, Fudge kind of overruled Dumbledore and granted him custody."
"Because your godfather threatened him?" Hermione was shocked. "That's preposterous. Dumbledore should have-"
"Dumbledore was probably thinking about his career; he is a politician after all," Neville pointed out. "As is Fudge. Besides, as Harry's godfather, Sirius Black has legal rights to Harry should his biological family choose to give theirs up-"
"Which they did," Harry cut in. "The lawyer could barely get the words out before they agreed. Most people would assume this meant that they hated me, but Dumbledore got all teary-eyed and went on about how moved he was that they would give up the rights to their precious nephew in a sweet – if misguided – attempt to make him happy."
"And unless Dumbledore wants to explain to the Wizengamot and the wizarding population at large that he felt that a then-one-year-old and current twelve-year-old is the key to defeating You-Know-Who, there's really nothing he can do," Neville concluded.
"But it's still not right!" Hermione insisted.
Harry shrugged. "Yeah, well, neither is locking my godfather in prison for ten years without a trial because he didn't want to have to cede custody of me."
Hermione just gaped at him for a few seconds. "I acknowledge this is a terrible miscarriage of justice, but surely you aren't suggesting that Professor Dumbledore could have done something different and didn't simply because he wanted you to be with people who hated you!"
"I don't know, Hermione," Ron said uncertainly. "He is the Chief Warlock even back then, not to mention the Supreme Mugwump. He probably could have done something."
"How can you say that?" Hermione demanded. "He's DUMBLEDORE! He-"
"Isn't perfect and maybe it's time you just accepted that," Harry interrupted, tiredly. "Anyway, as I was saying, after Sirius got custody of me, he and Luna's dad started talking and Sirius decided it might be fun to go looking for rare and – some might consider – fictional characters. Since I found the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, we'd have to find something new to look for, but that proved my prowess as a tracker."
"You're doing that the whole summer?" Neville said, his voice carefully neutral. "That's...great for you."
"Oh, not the whole summer," Harry assured him. "I also got an early start on my divination and saw that the Ron's Dad will win the annual Daily Prophet Grand Prize Galleon Draw and head to Egypt to visit Bill, so Sirius and I plan to spend a month there, as well."
"Win the...the grand prize?" Ron sounded incredulous.
"You're going to travel to a foreign country for a month on the off-chance your prediction comes true?" Hermione sounded skeptical and Harry was fairly sure she was restraining herself from saying more.
"Well...I really just want to see Fred and George try and shut Percy in a pyramid," Harry admitted. "But I'm sure I'll have fun, even if that doesn't end up happening."
"Harry dear!" Mrs. Weasley gushed after she had greeted her own children. "How nice to see you again!"
"Hello Mrs. Weasley," Harry greeted warmly. "Have you met my godfather, Sirius Black?"
Mrs. Weasley's smile became slightly fixed. She had heard of the acquittal, of course, but was clearly uncomfortable when faced with said ex-con face to face. "Ah, I heard you have custody of Harry now?"
Sirius beamed. "It's been eight days today."
"Are you sure that you're up to the challenge, so soon after coming back to wizarding society?" Mrs. Weasley asked tentatively.
"Harry's a great kid and Dumbledore has been a *great* help in the whole reintegration process," Sirius said cheerfully. "Couldn't have done it without him. You know, it means the world to me to be able to take in Lily and James' son. They were...they were family to me, I'm glad I can finally fulfill their wishes and try and keep their memory alive for their son."
"Oh!" Mrs. Weasley's voice was noticeably warmer at the thought of Harry having a link to his parents at last.
While they continued to talk, Harry looked around the station idly. "Hey! Draco!" Harry said, walking up to him. "Listen, I wanted to thank you for all your help this year with Dob-"
Draco looked distinctively uncomfortable as he indicated a rather put-out Narcissa Malfoy. "Harry, this is my mother. Mother, this is Harry Potter."
Narcissa smile chilled Harry to the bone. "A pleasure, I'm sure." Harry translated that to be something along the lines of 'you better hope you never run into me in a dark alley or so help me...' Hm. What was the deal with her?
"Ready to go, Harry?" Sirius asked, coming up behind him. "Ah, cousin Narcissa. How are you?"
If anything, her smile grew even colder. "Sirius, I was so glad to hear of your acquittal. Now, if you'll excuse us..."
"Wow," Harry said finally. "I don't ever remember her so...cold before."
"Well, that's because you never saw her with me," Sirius laughed.
"Ooh, what happened?" Harry asked.
"Well, there might have been an incident seventh year during a Hogsmeade weekend when she was out with her boyfriend involving a frog, a bottle of pink hair dye, and a trampoline," Sirius admitted.
"Do tell," Harry encouraged.
"First of all, I fully deny any and all involvement. My presence – along with James, Remus, and he-who-is-not-worth-mentioning – was completely coincidental. As was James' camera. It all started when..."
And with that, godfather and godson headed off to what promised to be the carefree summer either of them had had for quite some time.