I feel like everywhere I go I'm being shut out
I'm not wanted
Not cared for
Even though a lot of people tell me it's not true, but it is true
If it wasn't someone would've noticed something was wrong with me & I needed to talk, but no one has, and no one will
I'm just that parasite that keeps hanging onto life, yearning for something more, something worth living for..
But there's nothing
If there was I would've found it
I use to think music was my call, something worth living for, my life's one true purpose
I would sing, play my flute + guitar, write songs & smile
I was happy for a while
But life got in the way & of course no one was happy with my choice
Everyone's always telling me 'do something that makes me happy', but when I decided being a songstress was it, everyone disapproved
From there I went to writing, but as you can see
That hasn't turned out well for me
I've failed here too
No matter how hard I tried
No matter how hard I cried
It didn't work out
And my fake smiles, they're believable enough to prove nothing's wrong, and no one knows me well enough to see through my disguise to discover the truth, and end the lies
Don't get me wrong, I have friends
Some of the best you could ever find, but they have their own problems
I don't need to bother them with mine & I never do
To avoid that I laugh & smile so they don't worry & when they're upset I listen & give the best advice, or so I'm told
I wish for once they'd ask about me and how I'm feeling
I'm not complaining, it's just, I wish that just this one time one of them could see through me
But they're blind & immune
It's not their fault though, they shouldn't have to not be just for me
For someone who: has no purpose, is worthless, dazed, bemused, & in a never ending cycle
I wish someone could tell me what's wrong with me
And I wish I could be anywhere but here