// u guys r gonna hate me for this chapter lol, it's Endeavors backstory eberybody wheeze, he's nicer in this story and not much of a douche uwu
Endeavor was a shitty father, that by itself is already inexcusable, he was blinded by his pride, he set off on creating the perfect offspring that he never thought about how she felt, they agreed to this, she agreed that she'd let this happen as long as he gives the children support and make sure that no harm can come to them, Endeavor was supposed to stop after his 5th son, Hyorei Todoroki
When he saw the boy with pure white hair at the first time, he thought of him as another failure, someone bound to get a weak version of Rei's quirk
At age four, his quirk manifested
That day the entire neighbourhood was covered in a strong blizzard
His son has a mutated version of his mother's quirk, a stronger one, a better one, he's sure of it, until he realized the boy couldn't control his quirk at all, it was too strong for his little body, after what he did he fell asleep for three days straight
Enji thought that he couldn't let his son pass out again from his quirk, those three days were harsh, his entire body was freezing cold, the only warmth that didn't burn him was the warmth from his brother, Kasai who inherited a weaker version of Endeavors flames and had got complete control of it, boy refused to leave his brother's side, sleeping next to him, eating next to him, the only time the boy left was when he has to clean himself, but aside from that he didn't leave his side
Enji was a horrible father, but he is a father
He doesn't want to see his children like that, ever again
He needed to train him now, whether he wanted to or not to make sure something like that won't happen again, except he had no way to do so, so his wife took Hyorei away and trained him herself, Enji trusted his wife and didn't interfere
He hears them sometimes, a small voice saying I'm cold from the secluded training room under their house, he hears the sharp noises of ice forming and breaking, the cold slosh of snow, he heard everything, and he heard his son cry
"I-I can't control it, I can't it hurts-" he sobbed into his brothers arms, Kasai was crying too as he hugged his brother tight, enveloping him in warm heat, Kasai had perfect control of his quirk, sometimes he hears Hyorei playfully saying that he wish he had his brothers quirk instead
Enji doesn't think its a joke anymore
"Rei, I understand that you're concerned for our son but you can't keep pushing him like this, making him overuse his quirk won't do any good"
"H-He- he's getting better, he can control it better I just need more time and then I can let him go- I don't- I don't wanna see him freezing again Enji, don't you remember what the doctor said? If his blizzard went on for a second more he would've frozen to death, he needs this Enji, he needs to learn how to control it"
"You're stressing yourself out, you're conceiving another child, I-"
"Mom! Hyorei isn't here! Have you seen him? He wasn't in his his room!"
"Mom I'm sure it wasn't your fault... he-"
"I pushed him too far, I was- if only I was a bit more gentler-"
Enji grit his teeth trying not to let rage overtake him, it's been two days, he hasn't had sleep, searching high and low for his son, Kasai is quiet as he joins his father to search for him
At the end of the day, Enji sees Kasai escaping through the window, leaving a note saying he's going to look for his brother and not come home until he did
Enji only watched
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Todoroki Shoto was born, Enji didn't want to do this anymore- but he'd come so far, it would be just a huge waste if he didn't- his last son, he was born with half sides, Enji knew by just looking at him that he was the one who could overtake All Might's position
He wonders if this was all worth it, the things his children went through just so he could overthrow All Might, it's wrong he knows it's wrong, but he's come so far, he can't just stop now
So he doesn't
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"I can't handle seeing his- his right side anymore, it reminds me too much of him- it reminds me too much of Hyorei- I can't do this anymore I can't I keep seeing him whenever I look into his eyes I-"
"Mother? Are you okay? What are you...."
"Oh sweetie... come here for a moment won't you?" Shoto is hesitant as he walks but the moment he got close his mother grabbed him by the arms and-
"Rei!" Enji screams, his mother was startled and her hand stumbled, the water poured over his left side instead, Rei gasped and put the kettle down, hugging her son tightly
"I'm so sorry- I'm so sorry my baby boy I'm so sorry-"
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Enji tried his best not to feel guilty as he sent his wife to a psychiatric hospital, she needs it, he's been pushing her so hard, he doesn't want to, but he doesn't want to risk anything happening like that ever again, maybe it'll also be better for him to stay away from her in the mean time, he hired a well known therapist for her, he hopes she gets better
When Shoto turned twelve, he wanted to visit his mother but Enji just couldn't let it happen, instead he leaves him a bouquet of his favorite lilies he remembers Shoto used to love
Enji was quiet when he saw it charred and thrown in the trash can
Shoto doesn't use his left side anymore, Enji knows why, the boy despised him, thinking that it's all his fault, but he knows Shoto is more reliant on his quirk, if he refuses to use both sides it'll be dangerous, not to mention the fact that if he uses his ice more he'd get frostbites, he saw Fuyumi treating him after training, so day after day, he thinks of ways to force Shoto to use his fire
He needs to balance himself out, his quirk has almost no drawbacks except for this, but he doesn't, he stubbornly refuses
A few days later, a new villain emerged, someone who calls themselves The Arsonist, Enji is quiet as he watched, he knows those flames, after all
They were his
Enji tries to track him, he's a pro hero, his emotions shouldn't hinder them from his work but each and every time he sees those flames, he can't handle it, call him a coward, call him a wuss, he doesn't care, he can't handle seeing those so familiar flames, he can't handle going against them, he can't handle going against his son
It becomes worst as the The Arsonists name grew, and one day, he declared a war against the pro hero, the media was crazy, asking where the number two hero was in all of this, Endeavor stayed quiet, he doesn't say anything but he comes to the said location where Arsonist is attacking
His son looks at him with so much hatred as he refuses to use more flames as he can, he knows he should, Arsonist is already a public threat
But he doesn't, he takes blow after blow, but never directly hitting his son, he knows he can win, he can probably end it any moment he can but he doesn't, he felt tears run down his cheeks as his son screamed, it's been years since he heard it and even by just hearing it feels him with so much relief, his son is alive and even though the words he speak is nothing but malice against him, the words are for him
For him as a father
For the first time in live television, Endeavor mourned
Kasai lunges at him, crashing him to the ground, a hand around his neck
"Please, come home Kasai" he manages to say
"Don't call me by that fucking name, you have no rights to cry, you're a horrible father-"
"Kasai, please I tried my hardest to find him-"
"You didn't try hard enough! If it weren't for me finding him he'd be dead! And now I'm stuck in some pets collar to the league, it's all your fault, you didn't look hard enough, if you just fucking looked hard enough this wouldn't have happened!" Endeavor clenched his fist
Why didn't he look hard enough?
He could've sent out a research team
He could've done something
Why didn't he try hard enough?
Why?
Kasai growled and got of him
"It's not even worth it killing you, Hyorei is too kind, he doesn't blame you, but it's all your fault, you're lucky that he'll cry if you died you piece of shit" words like that felt like poison to him, he watched as his son was engulfed in a portal, away from his sight again
Why wasn't he good enough?
// extra notes : Dabi's original name is Kasai, also the fight between Endeavor and Arsonist happened when Shoto was 13, what happened the previous chapters is a different one, pls don't doxx me