Elenore's self esteem, dating profile plan was yet to fufill its promise. I hadn't had one reply on my profile yet and it had left me feeling somewhat deflated. The worst thing was that Harry was due to pick Nola up within the next hour and with no potential dates to keep my spirits up, I was sure to crack the minute I answered the door to him. I'd even contemplated hiding in my room and pretending I was out so that Elenore could deal with him instead. On the other hand, after much thought, I had decided that was just as childish as Harry giving me the cold shoulder. I didn't care who they were or what they looked like, but as long as someone else other than Harry Styles was taking an interest in me, I would be at least 30% happy.
I tried to keep myself occupied by packing Nola's bag. She sat beside me, carefully selecting which toys were lucky enough to spend the weekend in her company. I found myself wishing that my life was as simple as selecting toys to spend time with. Instead my personal information was posted on a 'lonely hearts' website for someone else to find and decide if they wanted to spend time in my company. It was humilating. Elenore had spent the day glued to a seat at the dining table. The laptop was perched in front of her, only the 'lonely hearts' screen loaded. Every now and then she would refresh the page, sighing whenever my reply count remained at '0'. I wanted to tell her to give up, forget about this ridiculous plan that clearly wasn't working and find another way to help me get out of this funk. On the other hand, if there was any chance that my count might go up by at least one between now and Harry's arrival, I was going to take it. Obviously I wasn't going to tell Harry that I was officially 'back on the market', but it would likely give me some sort of confidence when I came face to face with him again. As the days has passed without him I'd struggled to remember when I'd ended things in the first place.
"What about your teddy?" I asked Nola, waving the stuffed bear in her face. She shook her head, her curls bouncing as she did so, and began rummaging in her toy box. I watched, confused, until she produced a fistful of bandanas. Of course. She was her father's daughter, how could I forget? I took the colourful pieces of fabric from her little clenched fist and tucked them into the side of the bag, wondering what they were doing in her toy box in the first place.
Deep down I knew I was kidding myself if I didn't end up verbally abusing Harry about his ignorance towards me. Our co-parenting was already falling apart. How were we supposed to raise Nola together if we couldn't even speak to another? A knock on the door had my head snapping upright. My heart race increased and my eyes widened. I turned to Elenore frantically.
"Ele, please tell me there's a reply?"
Elenore bit her lip. "Sorry, Marn. Nothing yet."
I groaned loudly and pulled myself to my feet, zipping Nola's bag up and tossing it onto the sofa. Somehow I was going to have to answer the door and act as though Harry's ignoring me wasn't bothering me in the slightest. Somehow I had to show him that I didn't miss him. I paced towards the door, my blood pounding in my ears as I did so. Harry's silhouette stuck out like a sore thumb through the frosted glass, his Fedora being the most eye catching part. The last thing I needed was for him to look good. In a last minute panic I looked down at myself, cringing at my choice of attire. An oversized red shirt and sweatpants was not an outfit that screamed - "I don't need you!" I was totally bare faced, my hair scraped back and held in place with a head band. I was screwed.
Reluctantly I pushed on the door handle and raised my eyes to meet Harry's. His lips were pressed into a hard line, his eyes dark and smoldering. He still looked mad. I opened my mouth to speak but found myself not quite sure what to say.
"Hi." He said for me, looking down uncomfortably. Great. Now he couldn't look at me either.
"Hi." I echoed, forcing the words out of my dry mouth. "Come in, I'll just grab Nola's stuff." I stepped aside and gestured for Harry to come into the hallway. He did so without a word, still looking at his feet.
"I tried to catch up with you the other day, you know?" I said quickly, frowning when I realised I'd cracked. I didn't want him to know that his actions had bothered me, but at the same time I wanted to know why he was behaving like such a petulant little child. I expected that kind of behaviour from our daughter, not him. Harry finally lifted his head and watched as I scooped Nola and her bag from the living room. Nola reached out for him, squealing and grinning as she did so. Harry took her from me, slinging the bag over his shoulder and coughed awkwardly.
"Sorry, I didn't realise." His voice was flat, no hint of emotion evident. He was also lying. I'd never seen anyone move as quickly as Harry had done that day.
"We both know that's not true, Harry." I said quietly, my cheeks blazing as I outed him. His eyebrows mashed together into a frown but he didn't comment. "Anyway."
"Yes, anyway." He snapped. "I don't know what Mum has planned for this weekend, but I'll have Nola back to you before her bed time."
"Right, ok." I could feel myself getting irritated by his bluntness. I leant forward and placed a kiss on both of Nola's cheeks. "I'll miss you. Be a good girl, ok?" Nola squirmed under my kisses and buried her face in the crook of Harry's neck. I sighed, trying to ignore the twitch of his lips. If I'd known any better I would have said he was fighting a smirk. I leant forward to open the door again when Elenore screamed. We all froze, widening our eyes.
"MARNIE!" She cried. "Marnie you've got a reply! You've got a date! Someone called Ben wants to take you out!"
I felt myself pale as Elenore's bad timing became considerably worse. Hesitantly I turned to Harry whose face was a mask of horror and rage. His eyes bore into mine, his irises growing forever darker and I bit my lip.
"A date?" He spat. "You're going on a date?" I opened my mouth to defend myself just as Elenore shot into view, her jaw dropping when she realised what she'd done.
"Oh, shit. Marnie I am so sorry." Her eyes were wide as she stared at Harry's rigid stance, glaring down at me from under his Fedora. "Harry, I totally forgot you were here, I-" Harry threw his head back and laughed. It was forced, not like his usual dimple provoking chuckle.
"Spare me the bullshit." He scoffed at the two of us. "It didn't take you long did it?" My eyes narrowed as his jealousy got the better of him.
"It's none of your business." I retorted, the burning in my cheeks now spreading down my neck. I felt like I was on fire. My eyes flickered to Nola who clung onto Harry's neck, her face crumpled into a confused expression. We couldn't lose it in front of our daughter.
"I think you'll find it is." He snapped at me. "Any man you see is potentially going to be around my daughter."
"Our daughter, Harry." I reminded him, remembering the many occasions where he had been the one delivering that line. "And don't be ridiculous. Why would I let someone I don't even know near Nola? She's not even going to be here this weekend."
"Why do you do half of the things you do?" He growled and I knew at once that this was much deeper than it had initally seemed on the surface.
"Ok, so we've now established you're still angry at me about breaking things off, right?" My hands moved to my hips but Harry didn't reply. "Maybe if you answered your phone we could talk about this instead of you coming to my flat and getting all uptight."
"Did our date mean anything to you, Marnie?" He asked me, a deep groove forming between his eyebrows.
"Of course it did!" I protested. "You know that's not why I called things off. Stop being so childish and just admit what the real issue is right here." Harry shook his head, ignoring my pleas for his honesty.
"What are you planning to do? Get completely hammered, sleep with him, fall pregnant with his kid and then keep it a secret for the next two years? That's generally your game plan isn't it?" Elenore and I gasped simultaneously. My jaw dropped and tears stung my eyes. I never knew he had it in him to be so cruel. Harry seemed quite taken back by his own words too. His eyes softened for a moment before darkening again as I opened my mouth to reply.
"You're crazy." I told him, choking on a sob. "You have no right to speak to me like that. You obviously don't know me at all and quite frankly I don't think you deserve to. Nola might look like you, but I'm going to pray that she doesn't inherit your personality. Get out of here, Harry." I wrenched the door open, dropping my gaze to the carpet.
"Have a great date." Harry spat before he stepped out. "I hope you two will be really fucking happy together."
The sound of the door slamming echoed through the flat and my insides. Elenore hurried forward, grabbing my hands and pulling me over to the sofa, where I collapsed into the soft fabric willingly. Neither of us spoke for a while, both clearly attempting to get our heads around what had just occurred.
"I really am so sorry." Elenore whimpered. "I just got so excited." I squeezed her hands to assure her that she was forgiven. It really wasn't her fault after all. Harry and I would have come to blows sooner or later.
"He's just childish and can't take no for an answer." I told her. "He'll get over it eventually."
"Don't you want to know about Ben?" She asked in a small voice, her eyes twinkling as she said his name. There was a part of me that couldn't think of anything worse than indulging in something that had caused Harry to behave so innapropriately towards me, however I also couldn't think of anything better than spiting him. Besides, we clearly weren't getting back together any time soon.
"Why not?" I shrugged. Elenore threw herself off the sofa and grabbed the laptop before hurrying back to me. Her hands were shaking as she loaded his profile and his message on two different tabs.
"His name is Ben and he's twenty two. An older guy, Marn!" She squealed. She turned the laptop to show me his photos. He was handsome, but I found myself looking for features that resembled Harry. His hair was tousled rather than curly and a sandy colour as opposed to Harry's dark brown. His eyes were a basic blue, not pale green, and he although he didn't quite have that 'cuddly' look that Harry had to him, he did seem perfectly charming.
"What did his message say?" I asked, peering at the screen as Elenore opened the second tab. She cleared her throat.
"Hello Marnie. My name is Ben. I'm 22 and from North London. I've just come across your profile and would be very interested to meet with you. How about this weekend at the Dean Street bar in Soho? Let me know, Ben x."
I groaned. "He wants to meet at the bar where I met Harry. Isn't that just asking for trouble?"
"No!" Elenore exclaimed. "Perhaps that bar brings you good luck when it comes to men?"
"Debatable." I huffed, my thoughts lingering on Harry's earlier behaviour.
"Please go, Marnie." Elenore begged. "He could be Mr Right. Harry has proved that it's definitely not him."
"Scoot over then." I sighed, pulling the laptop towards me and hitting the 'reply' button.
I was really doing this.
a/n: Double update woo! I know I probably shouldn't have been excited by the fact that my story only had four chapters left, but the last four chapters are REALLY EXCITING. So I couldn't resist.