CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
ALEXZA open her eyes when she heard a commotion near her. She was in deep and long sleep. With her blurry vision, she saw her parents talking to a man. It's Tommy. Sa tindig palang, alam niyang ang lalaki nga 'yon.
"She's awake," her mother announced.
She weakly look at them. Hindi talaga magpapatinag ang mommy niya. Ipipilit talaga ang plano nitong ipakasal siya sa lalaking ni wala siyang maramdaman kahit katiting man lang.
"Hi, I hope we didn't disturb your sleep." Tommy said in apologetic tone.
She ignore the man and eye her mother.
"Mom, not now, please. I don't want to be rude, but this is not helping me. I don't want to marry him." She needs to be straight forward. She needs to end this conversation as soon as possible. She look at Tommy. "I'm sorry but I can't marry you. Maghanap ka nalang ng ibang babaeng papakasalan. Huwag na ako. I will become a mommy after a few months and I having a child with another man will only make your parents mad at you. I'm not the one for you, Tommy."
"Alexza! Magtigil ka nga riyan!" Her mother voice boomed. "I already tell him that you're pregnant and he's willing to be a father of your baby! Ano pa ba ang hinahanap mo? Si Tommy lang ang kayang tanggapin 'yang anak mo na kahit ang tunay na ama ay hindi kayang panindigan ang sariling anak!"
"Don't judge him. You don't know nothing, mom. Drake didn't know anything about my pregnancy and I chose not to tell him. Don't put the blame on him."
Kahit labis siyang nasasaktan dahil sa ginawa ni Drake na pagtataksil sa kanya ay nagagawa niya parin itong ipagtanggol sa ina. Hindi niya gagamitin ang galit at sakit ng damdamin niya sa maling paraan. Kung kailangan ipagtanggol niya si Drake ay gagawin at gagawin niya!
Though he hurt her so bad but she love him so much that she will still defend him from those people who would judge him, particularly her parents.
"See? You're too blind for loving him that even he hurt you, you still defending that man! Wake up, Alexza! That Villafuente is a type of a man who don't think about settling down. Pinapaasa ka lang niyan katulad ng mga babaeng nauna sa'yo!"
"Stop it mom! I don't wanna hear your rant about him. Kahit ano pa ang sabihin niyo tungkol sa kanya, hindi na magbabago ang isip ko. Hindi ako papakasal sa ibang lalaki!" Nauubusan ng pasensya na gigil niyang sambit. "I am so tired being manipulated by you and dad. I have my own life, mom. Let me decide for myself even just for this matter."
"I think, I should go?" Tommy still looks apologetic. "This is not the right time to talk about marriage. She's still recovering from heartbreak. We need to consider it."
Kahit papano ay nabawasan ang bigat sa dibdib niya sa narinig. Hindi niya rin naman inaasahan na ipipilit sa kanya ni Tommy ang pagpapakasal dahil alam niyang wala rin naman itong nararamdaman sa kanya. Their marriage is a pure business after all.
Her mother held Tommy's hand and give him a warm smile.
"You're really a good man, Tommy. I wish my daughter see and realize it."
"Thanks, Tita. I appreciate. Let's give her more time to decide. I can wait for it."
"You don't need to give me time. My answer will always be No."
Tommy just give her an understanding smile and she starting to hate it! She felt like he's just being kind in front of her parents, he has devil inside him, he's just hiding it from them.
"I'll visit again some other time."
Humalik ang lalaki sa pisngi ng ina at nakipagkamay sa daddy niyang kanina pa tahimik. Nang makaalis si Tommy ay muli siyang tinira ng mommy niya.
"You were rude, Alexza! Ang bait-bait nung tao bakit kailangan mong bastusin?" Nahilot nito ang sintido at nanghihina na napaupo sa tabi ng daddy niya. "Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko diyan sa anak mo."
Her father eye her with disappointment on his face.
"You're getting worse, Alexza. I'm not happy with it." He said coldly. "And that child, do you think we are happy with that? I'm very disappointed with you." He shook his head weakly. "I can't accept that child."
Gumapang ang kaba at ang pag-aalala sa kanya. Kung anu-ano ng negatibong scenario ang naglalaro sa utak niya at mas iyon ang ikinatatakot niya.
"I have let you meddling with my life even if I wasn't happy most of the time with all your decisions for me, but I will never let you meddling with my child's life, mom, dad. I don't want to ruin our relationship, but please, don't think about doing bad things to my child."
"Ano'ng akala mo sa amin ng daddy mo? Mamamatay tao?!"
"I didn't say that. But I knew my parents well."
"Stop with that, Alexza. Stop accusing us!" Lumakas ang galit na boses ng ama. "Maaaring malupit kami sa mga kalaban sa negosyo pero hindi namin kayang pumatay ng bata lalo at apo namin! I don't like the child but I don't even think of killing him! I would eventually accept him!"
Halos mamula na sa galit ang daddy niya. Nagtatagis ang mga ngipin at nagagalit ang mga ugat sa leeg at sintido. Napalunok siya at unti-unti ng nasisindak.
"Calm down Sweetheart," alo ng mommy niya sa dadddy niya habang hinahaplos ang likod.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, enough for them to hear her. "I was worried and scared with my child's life. I've been manipulated my whole life and I don't want my child to experience it. Pakawalan niyo nalang ako, mommy. Hayaan niyo nalang ako sa buhay ko..." She almost in tears, she is just stopping it. "Stop manipulating me and force me to marry that man. I will never do that."
"Marry him and you're free from us. Simple." Her mother said simply. "Both party would benefit in that wedding, Alexza. It would help our business to grow more when you marry Tommy. Than of pushing yourself to Villafuente, marry a heir of Herrera's Mining Company, instead. That's it!"
Bigo na umiling siya. Her mother is the one who was pushing her to marry Tommy while her father keep his mouth shut. What's on his mind?
"Stop forcing Alexza to marry that man." Her brother suddenly came in and sat at the edge of hospital bed. "I'm tired on hearing all of these marriage thing. Arrange marriage will never last, mom."
"At anong alam mo sa pagpapakasal, Dwaye? You don't even introduce woman to us. You're like your friend." Matabang na sabi ng mommy niya.
"Just because marriage is not my thing, it doesn't mean that I don't know anything 'bout it. Alexza is pregnant and marrying that man wasn't a good idea."
"Tanggap ni Tommy 'yung bata, Dwaye!"
"We don't need Tommy to be a father because the real father is there and willing if only Alexza let me tell all of these to Drake." Malalim na bumuntong hininga ang kapatid at malungkot siyang nginitian. "I really don't know what happened between you and Drake, but I wish you have the guts to talk to him and tell him."
Paulit-ulit na malungkot siyang umiling. Buong-buo na ang desisyon.
"Please Kuya, promise to me that you will never say a thing to Drake."
"Do you really think that hiding all of these from him would make everything fine?"
"Just promise me, Kuya!"
Dwaye frustratedly brush his hair with his fingers then nod his head annoyingly, surrendering.
"Okay! Okay!" Bagot na sabi nito. "You will ruin our friendship, Alexza."
"Thanks Kuya." Mahinang sambit niya.
"You will be discharged tomorrow morning and you will staying in our house, Alexza. Understand?" Her mother eyed her sharply.
Tahimik na tumango siya.
"Good, were leaving now. We have meeting to attend."
Sinukbit nito ang Hermes bag sa braso at taas noong lumabas ng silid. Her father stood up, he stare to both of them before leaving the room.
Alexza let out a loud breath when the door closed.
"I don't know what to do, Kuya. Ayokong umuwi sa bahay. They might lock me in my room." Nag-aalala siya ng husto.
"Why did you say that?"
"Can't you see? Our parents are mad at me especially now that I'm pregnant! Tommy visited here and told me that he was willing to be a father of my baby! I can't believe! Mom's doing everything for me to marry that guy!"
Dwaye sighed. "Relax. I'll see what I can do."
Sinipa-sipa niya ang kumot niya. Lukot na lukot na ang magandang mukha. Bawal pa naman siya ma-stress at eto siya nagpapaka-stress. Kawawa naman ang baby niya!
"Ayokong umuwi sa bahay Kuya. Magpunta nalang kaya ako sa ibang bansa? Para lang makatakas kila mommy at sa kasal na 'yan!"
"Pwede ba? Stop stressing yourself! Aren't you afraid of miscarriage? Hindi matibay ang kapit ng bata, narinig mo naman ang sinabi ng doctor." Napipikon na saway nito sa kanya.
"Then help me escape from them!" Naiiyak na naman siya.
"I will help you, okay?" Dwaye voice softened. "Huwag ka nang umiyak diyan. Get ready, we will leave tonight."
"P-Paano ang mga tauhan sa labas?"
"Don't mind them. Get rest and eat a lot."
Napakain siya ng wala sa oras habang ang isipan ay tumatakbo sa pagtakas nilang magkapatid mamayang gabi. She will do everything to escape from that marriage. Ayaw niyang magpakasal kay Tommy. No way! Handa niyang suwayin ang magulang niya para sa sarili niyang kalayaan!
Nang umalis si Dwaye kinahapunan ay mas nadagdagan ang pag-aalala ni Alexza. Isinisiksik niya lang sa isip niya na darating ang kapatid niya pagsapit ng hating-gabi para itakas siya.
She lay down and place her hand above her stomach.
"Hi baby, kapit ka lang ha? Hindi kita papabayaan. Iiwan natin ang mga taong mananakit sa atin." Kausap niya sa anghel sa sinapupunan. "I hope you don't hate your Lola and Lolo even they wanted me to marry other man. Hindi naman magpapakasal si mommy sa iba, sa daddy mo lang k-kahit na s-sinaktan niya ako...k-kahit na nag-cheat siya sa akin. I'm willing to forgive him for that because I love your daddy very much."
Isang butil ng luha ang tumulo sa pisngi niya at hinayaan niya lang iyon. Nagpatuloy siya sa pakikipag-usap sa anak na animo nakikinig sa kanya.
"I'm sorry baby if I'm being selfish to you and to your father for not letting him know about you. I feel scared, I feel like he's not really ready for you. I don't know anak, naguguluhan ang mommy. Kung iisipin ko pa ng iisipin ang mga problema ko, pareho tayong mahihirapan, lalo ka na. Ayokong mawala ka sa akin, anak... please give me more strength. Sayo nalang ako kumukuha ng lakas para harapin lahat ng 'to... sorry ha? Mommy's weak."
Humugot siya ng malalim na buntong hininga at natatawang pinunasan ang mga luha sa pisngi. She keep on caressing her stomach.
"Promise baby, huling iyak ko na 'to. Magiging malakas na malakas na ako para sa'yo. Hindi ka pa lumalabas pero mahal na mahal na kita kaagad... kapit ka lang diyan ha? Lalaban tayo. Hindi ko hahayaan na maikasal ako sa iba at magkaroon ka ng ibang daddy. Si daddy Drake lang ang daddy mo. Okay? Always remember his name, so you won't forget him. He will love you once he get the chance to know you. I'm sure of that. Basta, kapit ka lang ha? Aalagaan at mamahalin kita...ng sobra, anak ko..."
NAPABALIKWAS ng bangon si Alexza, sapo-sapo ang dibdib niya dahil sa pagdaan ng kirot do'n na hindi niya alam kung saan ba nang-galing.
Her relationship with Drake is doing good and smooth, so far. Hindi na sila nagtatagisan ng masamang tingin at palagi siyang sinusunod ng binata. He's back with his old self when they were in a relationship before. Her Drake is back and she like it very much.
Kaya...bakit naman siya makakaramdam ng sakit sa dibdib kung okay na sila ni Drake?
"A-Anak ko..." she whispered softly.
She close her eyes and try to remember her dreams...but she can't remember it anymore. As in wala. Bigo niyang iminulat ang mga mata.
"Hey, you fell asleep here. Hindi na kita ginising."
It was Drake then he sat beside her. She's sitting on the sun lounger. It's weekend so they decided to spend it on beach.
"I had a dream, Drake..."
"Really? What is it love?" Interesante siya nitong pinakatitigan.
Ngumuso siya at itinuon nalang ang atensyon sa malawak na asul na karagatan. The sunlight starting to burn her skin.
"I don't remember,"
"It's okay. Gano'n naman ang mga panaginip." He sounds like he really doesn't mind it.
"It feels so real..." naguguluhan pa rin siya. "Its about o-our child...I woke up calling him..."
Masuyo na dinala siya ni Drake sa mga bisig nito. Paunti-unti ay nailalabas niya na ang mga saloobin tungkol sa namatay nilang anak. Mas mainam sa pakiramdam iyon, may karamay na siya sa pagkawala ng anak nila.
"Did you always dream about our child?"
"M-Minsan lang... pero nitong mga nakalipas na araw, mas madalas ko na siyang napapanaginipan? Tapos hindi ko na maaalala pag-gising ko."
"Why don't we visit him? Where's he? You didn't tell me yet about that. I was waiting for you to tell me but I think you always forgot it."
Humapdi ang puso niya nang may maalala. His son's 5th death anniversary is next week and maybe that's the reason why he always on her dreams! He wanted her to visit him?
"I...I don't usually visit him, only when it's his death anniversary. It was very hard for me to accept it. I'm still hurting for his lost." Her voice almost broke.
Drake kiss the top of her head and embrace her. His warm embrace comfort her, helping her to feel at ease.
"I'm hurting, too. But I am here to give you strength and to comfort you. Hindi ka na mag-isa ngayon, katuwang mo na ako sa lahat."
Marahan siyang tumango at sumiksik lalo kay Drake na para bang sa mga bisig nito siya kukuha ng lakas. Napakasarap pakinggan ng mga salitang iyon lalo at ramdam niya tototohanin ng binata ang lahat ng sinabi.
"We could visit him next week..."
"Why not tomorrow? Where's he again? In Sleeping Angels Cemetery?"
Alexza shook her head and her tears starting to come out. She's doesn't like to talk about her child and his lost, because it's still give pain on her but she needs to tell it to Drake.
"H-Hindi namin nakuha ang k-katawan niya..." pumait ng husto ang laman ng dibdib niya.
Naramdaman niyang natigilan si Drake. Kalaunan ay marahan siya nitong hinawakan sa magkabilang balikat at bahagyang pinaglayo ang katawan nila para magtama ang kanilang mga mata.
"W-what? Where's it?" Puno ng kaguluhan ang mukha nito. "Where's our child?"
Napayuko siya. Nawalan ng lakas ng loob na salubungin ang lungkot sa mga mata nito sa tiyak na sumasalamin sa kanya.
"N-nasunog s-siya...k-kasama siyang nalaglag sa...s-sa..."
Hindi niya matapos-tapos ang sinasabi dahil parang may punyal na tumatarak sa puso niya. Naglandas ang mga luha ng pangungulila at pighati sa kanyang pisngi. Kay hirap pigilan. Kay hirap kalimutan ng lahat.
Nakasiksik sa dibdib niya ang masasakit na ala-ala na iyon nang malaman niyang wala na ang anak niya. Nakakabaliw. Halos mawala siya sa sarili noon.
Muli ay kinabig siya ni Drake papunta sa bisig nito at niyakap. Ang labi ay nasa ibabaw ng ulo niya, tila nagpipigil ng kung ano. Ang tibok ng puso nito ay damang-dama niya rin.
"Stop... if telling to me about him hurt you so much, just stop. Seeing you crying and knowing that we lost our child was breaking me without even fighting." His voice is almost breaking.
"I want y-you to know Drake...you deserve to know e-everything."
"I could ask Dwaye about it, love. Just stop. I understand you... hindi ako magagalit sa'yo kahit hindi mo sabihin. Hinding-hindi na."
"D-Did you talk to my brother about me? A-about what happened? K-Kaya ba ang bait-bait mo na s-sakin? Naaawa ka b-ba?"
Umalon ang matigas na dibdib nito tanda nang paghugot ng malalim na hangin. Binabawasan ang bigat sa loob.
"Mas lamang na nagsisisi ako, Alexza. I regret everything that happened to you without me beside you. How could I pity a woman like you? You're stronger than I expected. You endured all the pain without me..." he sincerely whisper with the hint of admiration. "I just couldn't believe that all of these happened to you. It was shocking because I know nothing. I'm sorry that I hated you..." he then kiss her head. "I'll make it up to you."
She rested her face on his chest, feeling his warm body against hers. The sounds of the waves nearby, relaxing her. The bright sunlight were slowly fading away.
Ang kulay kahel na kalangitan ay mas lalong pinaganda ang kinang ng tubig dagat. Binalot ang kapaligiran ng kapayapaan.
Naghahalo ang pait at saya sa paraan nang pagtibok ng puso niya. Halos tila pareho at sabay ang pagtibok ng puso nila ng lalaking yakap siya.
Sakit at pait na tibok dahil minsan sa buhay nila ay sinubok ang tatag nila, lalong-lalo na siya.
Saya, dahil ramdam niya 'yung pag-asa na babalik pa sila sa dati, may babalikan pa siya sa kabila ng lahat. 'Yung lalaking tinanaw niya lang sa malayo nang ilang taon, yakap-yakap na siya ngayon.