Liam's POV
I noticed I was awake even before I opened my eyes, very aware of the finger that was trailing along my cheek and the beautiful, breakable voice that was softly singing a familiar song.
There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea
You became the light on the dark side of me
I didn't want to open my eyes, afraid he'd stop singing if he knew I was awake.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill
but did you know that when it snows
my eyes become large
and the light that you shine can be seen.
For a blissful minute I forgot about my eyes that were stinging from all the crying I did earlier and the tightness of my skin where the salty tears had been rolling earlier. I couldn't help myself, it was some kind of automatism how my lips started to move along with the chorus, without making a sound.
Baby
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray, ooh
the more I get of you the stranger it feels, yeah
and now that your rose is in bloom
a light hits the gloom on the grey
“Morning love,” he whispered, pressing his lips to mine, awakening a hunger for more deep inside me. My eyes fluttered open, longing to take in his features and find comfort in his deep blue eyes.
“Hey,” I smiled, almost losing the feeling of sadness and grief that lurked inside me for days now. “I love that song.”
“Me too. And it somehow really fits us, don't you think?” he said softly.
“Yeah, it actually does.”
A comfortable silence fell between us, we just laid there, gazing into each others eyes and enjoying the warmth of our bodies in the cocoon of the blankets we were under.
“Thank you for yesterday” I finally managed to whisper, after contemplating for what felt like hours how I should put it.
“Thank you. For trusting me. And for letting me take care of you. I know it was really hard for you to let me do that.”
“I love you.” It was really all I could reply to that. It held everything I wanted to say about it. Yes, it was extremely hard for me to allow myself to be weak. To have someone else take care of me. But I had to try. I had to succeed, because I loved him. I knew I could trust him not to take advantage of my weakness. If there was anyone who could somehow heal me, even the slightest bit, it was him. That much I was sure of. I looked up at him, noticing how we had somehow both closed the distance between our faces, our mouths now only an inch apart, our breaths mingling. With any other guy, I would've freaked out because of our morning breaths, but with Louis, it just didn't matter. We'd seen each other at our worst, so why would we care about something as trivial as morning breath? I felt how his lips closed around mine, kissing me softly and sweetly. It wasn't a hungry or passionate kiss, but it held such an enormous amount of feelings. My lips moved with his, while caressing his back and trailing patterns on his side, making him squirm a bit when the touch was a bit too feathery so it tickled. He didn't pull away though, but none of us tried to deepen the kiss either. It was perfect the way it was, just showing each other that we understood, that we were there. Both of us now realising that our relationship was no longer about me taking care of Louis, me being the strong one, the rock that couldn't be moved. We were each others strength, leaning on each other when we needed it, and that made us even stronger. All of that lay in that simple, seemingly everlasting kiss.
“Aaaaaargh that's cold!” We heard a shriek coming from the bathroom, followed my muffled voices and stumbling down the hall.
I chuckled against Louis' lips, feeling him do the same thing before we finally pulled away.
“I guess that means we better don't take a shower, selfish pricks using up all the water and probably not even caring about cleaning up after them.” Louis scoffed. A giggle escaped my lips. “What do you want to do today bambi?” he asked a minute later.
I bit my lip. Should I ask him? Was it really fair on him to do this?
“Spit it out Li.” he demanded.
“I- I was wondering if- if you maybe- I mean, you don't have to, I'd understand if you say no.” I stuttered blabbering on. He shot me a stern look, letting me know I should man up and just pop the question. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes before opening my mouth to speak again. “Would you come home with me today? I mean, it's not really an ideal day to meet my mum and my sister, and I don't really mind if we don't go, but...”
“Yes.” he cut me off.
I opened my eyes again, as if I needed to check if I had heard it right. He smiled a bit as he nodded his head to confirm it. “Yes, I would love to come home with you and meet your family. And I don't know if that's what you wanted to do, but I'm fine with it if you want to go to the cemetery, before you ask.” I smiled thankfully at him.
“I wouldn't have found the courage to ask you. You have no idea how much that means to me Lou.”
He pressed another kiss on my lips before getting out of bed, heading for the bathroom to wash himself at the sink, since the hot water was apparently all gone, thanks to our lovely bunny-roommates. I joined him soon, my back leaning to his chest as we both brushed our teeth.
“Liam? What should I wear? I mean, maybe all black would be too much, but I don't want to offend your mum with my bright clothes or anything.”
“It doesn't matter Lou. But no, no black. That's just not you. And besides, my mum is dying to meet you, so I think you could come in a leather fetish outfit and she wouldn't be offended.”
I threw on a blue fitted shirt over my loose dark jeans, and nodded approvingly at his turquoise chinos and the white and blue striped shirt.
We grabbed ourselves some breakfast before knocking on Niall's door. It took a few minutes before we heard stumbling and soon the door swung open, revealing Harry in his boxers.
“Morning.” he stated, his flushed face revealing that him and Niall hadn't exactly been sleeping. As if we didn't know that already.
“Sorry to interrupt, but errr. We're going to Wolverhampton, and we were wondering if we could borrow your car?”
Niall scrambled to the door as he overheard me speaking.
“You're going home?” he asked.
I nodded, at which he shot me a wide smile before engulfing me in one of his breath taking hugs.
“I'm proud of you Li,” he whispered in my ear before letting go again, disappearing into the room to come back a few seconds later with Harry's car keys. “It's parked at the lot around the corner. Be safe!” he yelled before pulling Harry back inside with him.
Louis chuckled and shook his head as he took my hand in his, walking out the door to find Harry's car.
I showed Louis the way as he drove us to the motorway, taking the time to look through Harry's CD's when we got on it. We sang along to Gossip and Florence + the machine, although I was sure we were making a total fool of ourselves as we failed to reach the high notes, and I switched to the radio when the second CD was done.
“Lou?” I asked. He hummed in response, letting me know that he had heard me. “Would you... why don't we try to contact your mum?”
He sighed. “I don't know Liam. I'm not sure if I can handle the sad and disappointed look in her eyes again.”
“What if you wouldn't have to? I mean, I could write her a letter, and send it, and I'll see if she replies. You don't even have to know if you don't want to.” I stated, letting out the small detail that I had already written this letter and it was put in my desk drawer, waiting to be sent.
“I'll think about it, okay? Do I take this exit? It says Wolverhampton on the signs.”
“No, take the next one. I want to go to the cemetery first, if you're okay with that?”
“Sure love, we'll do whatever you want.”
I gave him directions so we ended up at the front gate only 15 minutes later. He pulled the keys out of the ignition, watching me as I took a deep breath, bracing myself to do this once again. I hadn't been here in little under a year, but I knew her grave would be the exact same as I had seen it last time, since my mother still came her every week to clean it up.
I got out of the car and waited for Louis to arrive at my side. He took my hand in his and let me guide him along the small pathways that weaved through the different fields where the graves were situated. It took us a few minutes to reach the field where Nicola's grave was situated. I pulled him along on the grass, stopping in front of the third grave on the sixth row.
Nicola Payne
1987-2009
Beautiful girl,
fantastic daughter
and best sister.
We'll never lose faith in you.
I let my eyes wander over the familiar inscription. Louis squeezed my hand, and I smiled at the ground, grateful I wasn't alone this time.
“Would you like me to give you some alone time with her? I mean, I understand if you want to talk to her in private,” he said softly.
I shook my head. “No. Stay, please.” I pulled him around, wrapping his arms around me as I leaned into him, enjoying his warm and firm body around mine. “Hey Nic. There's someone I want you to meet. Louis made it through. He did it, and you gave me the strength to believe in him. Thank you sis.” It felt a bit strange to do this with someone else around, but I went on anyway. “He- he makes me happy Nic. You would've loved him for it, and for all of him, really. I love him. And he loves me. Mum will love him too. We're going home in a bit.” I let out a sigh. “I still miss you Nic. Not every minute of every day any more, but it's still there. I don't think it will ever go away. I'll miss you every time something special happens, or when something reminds me of us when we were kids. I miss being able to call you to share something about my day or just if I want to hear your voice again. I miss your voice. I don't even remember properly how it sounded. I tried watching old home video's but they only have your cheery voice, not the one from when we were just talking, or when you comforted me.”
I felt how Louis tightened his grip on my waist, as if he felt I needed him and he wanted to let me know he was still there. I pressed my body into his before I continued.
“Sis, please don't think I forgot about you because I don't come here that often now. I've just been trying to live my life again. Niall always used to say I stopped living when you passed away, and I guess he was partly right. But not now any more. I'm living so hard it hurts sometimes. I forgot how great it could be. I love you Nic, don't you ever forget that, it will never change.”
We stood there for another few minutes before I pulled myself from Louis' embrace and turned around to face him.
“Thank you for sharing this love.” he whispered.
I only smiled at him and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love you.”
“Love isn't enough to describe this feeling.”
“Cheesy. Come on, time for you to meet my mum!” I winked at him before I took off, walking towards the front gate again.
I was actually planning to let him go to Liam's place in this chapter, but I was to eager to get it online :) More to come this weekend, probably!
Oh, and don't forget to fan the joint account I set up with @theredsushi We'll be getting out the prologue as soon as we find a title to our Larry-version of Romeo&Juliet. It's turning out really good so far, can't wait for you guys to read it! You' can find and fan us at @reallyawesomesauce Btw, title-ideas are very welcome, you'll deserve yourself a dedication if we pick yours ;)
Big kisses, and don't forget to tell me what you think about this chappie!