As I walked into school on Monday morning, I felt that everyone was staring at me.
It's not that I wasn't used to people staring at me, because in a way I was. A few months ago, when Ashton and I first got together, it seemed like everyone was always looking at us. It made sense; I was the "popular" girl with the rich parents and Ashton was the loner that never spoke to anyone. I understood why people would want to look at that.
But I couldn't figure out why everyone was looking at me now. I had hardly even talking to anyone for the past month, it's not like I'd done anything for people to be staring at. Right?
I wasn't surprised when I saw that Luke was standing at my locker when I arrived, despite the fact that he was upset with me just a few days ago. I'd apologized to him and he said that it was okay, thought if I was in his position I wouldn't have. But that was just what Luke did; he forgave too easily.
"Good morning." Luke nodded, stepping aside so I could get to my locker.
"Hi," I said, looking around slowly. I still felt like everyone was watching me as they walked by, but maybe I was just paranoid.
"How was your weekend?" Luke asked.
"Oh, it was..." I paused, not sure if I should answer honestly or not. Because honestly, my weekend was just weird. "It was nice."
"What happened on Saturday night? Like, what was going on? When you called I got kind of worried." Luke chuckled lightly, and I felt myself stiffen up a little. I'd almost completely forgotten about the phone call that I'd had to make to Luke while Michael was over. The same phone all that interrupted our, you know.
"Oh, I'm not really sure, actually." I said slowly, bending down to pick up a book from the bottom of my locker.
"So... There wasn't any reason as to why I wasn't allowed to leave the house for the whole weekend?" Luke asked.
"Well, I don't know, Michael just - "
"You're talking to a Michael again?" Luke cut me off, stepping in front of me so I could no longer try to distract myself by looking at various things in my locker.
"Uh, a little." I hesitated, feeling my face heat up.
Of course I was blushing about this, because now every time I thought about Michael the only thing I could think of was the memory of us almost having sex on my dining room table.
"A little?" Luke questioned.
"Yeah, we, uh, sorted out our differences." I said slowly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Oh, your differences?" Luke asked, a cocky smile on his lips.
"Uh huh. He came over on Saturday and we... Yeah." I said nervously, trying not to look Luke in the eyes. I knew that he could probably see right through me, but I didn't want to admit to anything.
"Oh no." Luke sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Dani, you didn't."
"Didn't what?" I asked, playing dumb. I slammed my locker door shut and picked my bag up from the floor, spinning on my heal to try and walk away from Luke, only to have him follow after me.
"You fucked him, didn't you?" Luke questioned, practically chasing me down the hall.
"No," I said quickly, turning around to face him. I grabbed Luke by the sleeve of his shirt and tugged him off to the side of the hallway again, so we were pressed against the lockers.
"Dani, seriously, I can tell that something happened between you two." Luke rolled his eyes at me. "What did you do?"
"We didn't do anything!" I lied, my voice cracking a little. Luke obviously saw right through me, because he just rolled his eyes again.
"You fucked him!" Luke said again, pointing a finger at me.
"Can you please stop saying that?" I begged, slapping his hand away from my face. "I did not have sex with him!"
"Okay, sure, whatever you say." Luke scoffed.
"He came over on Saturday night and we were talking - "
"Making out." Luke corrected me.
"We were talking," I stressed, "and then he said something about calling you to make sure you were okay, so I did."
"Well, I'm fine, so I don't know why Michael had to make you check up on me." Luke laughed. He clearly didn't understand why this was a big deal, because I don't think that he knew what Michael was capable of. I didn't even know what he was capable of, but I knew that whatever he had "planned" for Luke wasn't good.
Instead of trying to explain to Luke why I had been so worried about him a few days ago, but then I decided not to, because I was sure that he wouldn't get it. "Okay," I sighed, patting Luke on the shoulder.
Luke laughed as he turned away from the lockers again, grabbing my upper arm and guiding me as we began to walk down the hall again, to out first class of the day. I opened my mouth to speak again, just to make some conversation, but someone bumped into me before I could say anything.
"Oh, Murphy." Ashton said, almost sarcastically, as he scowled down at me.
"Hi..." I said slowly, wondering why he seemed so upset. Last I checked, Ashton and I were on pretty good terms. I gave him free tickets to see his favorite band, didn't I?
"How was your Saturday night?" Ashton asked, and I heard Luke gasp from his place next to me.
"Uh... It was... Okay." I stammered, looking down at the floor. If I wasn't able to tell Luke about my night with Michael I definitely wouldn't be able to tell Ashton about it.
"I'll see you in class, Dani." Luke said softly, giving me an awkward side hug as he said goodbye and quickly left Ashton and I alone.
"Was it really just okay, Murphy? Because from what I saw, it looked like it was a lot more than okay for you." Ashton scoffed, adjusting the beanie that he wore on his head.
I immediately panicked and tried to step backwards, like I was trying to run away, but I ended up bumping into a locker. Ashton came and stood in front of me, putting a hand on either side of my head, so I was basically trapped.
"I didn't do much." I shrugged, nervously glancing from Ashton's eyes to my feet again.
"Huh." Ashton nodded, licking his lips.
"Why?" I asked slowly. I knew that Ashton already knew about Michael and I, considering the way he was acting, and even though I should have just owned up to it I couldn't bring myself to admit it.
"Well I was walking home from the concert - I took the public bus, you know? - and as I was taking that shortcut behind your house I saw the... funniest thing." Ashton explained.
"And what was that?" I swallowed hard, because technically I wasn't sure exactly what Ashton had seen. I mean, he clearly saw Michael and I together, but that doesn't mean he saw us kissing. He could have seen us... talking.
"My ex-girlfriend, and my best friend just goin' at it on the dining room table." Ashton laughed, pushing himself off of the lockers, giving me a little more room. I was still too scared to try and walk away, so I just stayed pressed against the lockers.
"Can you let me explain, please?" I asked, though I knew that I'd fucked up too bad by now for Ashton to believe anything I ever said again.
"I don't think there's much to explain." Ashton scoffed, "Was he your date, Murphy? Did you just not want to tell me that you've been seeing Michael?"
"I haven't been seeing him!" I defended myself, taking a step towards Ashton.
"So you've just been fucking him?"
"No."
"How long has this been going on?"
"It hasn't been going on!"
"No, no, I bet you've been fucking him behind my back for months now, is that right?" Ashton asked.
"I haven't fucked him and I'm not going to!" I yelled, shoving Ashton away from me. I didn't even want to try and explain this whole thing to him, because I knew that he wasn't going to even bother trying to listen to me.
"Don't get upset about me jumping to conclusions like this!" Ashton shouted after me as I walked away from him. "It's kind of hard not to when I caught you right in the act!"
"Oh, just fuck off!" I groaned, looking over my shoulder as I tried to get away from Ashton as fast as possible.
"Gladly!" Ashton shouted, turning and walking off into the opposite direction.
-
The rest of the day was pretty awful, to say the least, but I say that about every day. Aside from my conversation with Ashton in the morning nothing was really different than normal, but I still felt like shit. This was just something I was going to need to get used to, I guess, and I wasn't going to be able to change any of this.
I slammed my car door shut, ready to just go inside and not do anything for the rest of the day, when I heard a voice calling my name.
"Murphy!" Ashton called, quickly walking down the street and towards where I was standing. "Hey, Murphy!"
"What?" I snapped, folding my arms over my chest as I turned to face him.
"What's so great about Michael?" He asked, leaning up against the side of my car. He put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it, blowing out a puff of smoke in my face.
"What?" I asked, unamused.
"Did he fuck you better than I did?" Ashton smirked, taking another drag from his cigarette.
"What?" I repeated.
"Was he a good fuck?" Ashton asked, "Is that why you went to him? Because you wanted someone better than me?"
"Are you jealous?" I scoffed, not believing that Ashton actually had the nerve to sit here and bother me like this. As much as I wanted Ashton back sometimes, right now I just wished that he would leave me alone. He wasn't my boyfriend anymore and what I did was my business, not his.
"What? I'm not jealous!" Ashton argued.
"You seem pretty jealous." I stifled a laugh, because this was honestly getting ridiculous.
"So who was better in bed? Me or Michael?" Ashton demanded, slamming his hand on the side of my car, like that was going to get me to answer faster.
"I wouldn't know." I deadpanned. "I never had sex with him."
"Really? Because it looked like you were pretty close to fucking him when I passed by." Ashton chuckled. He held out his cigarette, asking if I wanted it, but I just shook my head.
"Well, we didn't." I said blankly.
"Huh." Ashton said again, rubbing the back of his neck.
"We stopped, because Michael realized that it was wrong. He knew that I still love you, and not him." I said, looking down at the ground. Ashton didn't say anything more so I turned around and began walking towards my house, because I knew that I had made a mistake by telling him that.
I'd reached the front door and was fumbling for my keys in my bag, trying to hold all of my tears in until after I was inside, when I heard footsteps behind me.
"Dani," Ashton panted, clearly having ran across the front yard. He skidded to a halt and stopped in front of the door, not letting me past him.
"What do you want?" I asked, biting down on my bottom lip.
"You still love me?"
"Of course, Ashton." I groaned, because I didn't understand why Ashton didn't think I loved him anymore. "You wanted to break up, not me! This wasn't a fucking mutual decision!"
"I didn't - I didn't know that you - "
"Just... Go away, please." I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
"No, Dani, can't we talk - "
"No, I think we talked enough, Ashton, and I'd really feel better if you just left." I said, trying to push by Ashton again so I could get to the door. I was going to burst into tears if Ashton didn't just leave right now, I knew it.
"Hey, hey, don't cry." Ashton said softly. He cupped the sides of my face; his thumbs gently rubbing under my eyes, like he was ready to wipe away my tears whenever they came.
"Stop it." I whispered.
"I'm just trying to - "
"How could you go from yelling at me to trying to comfort me, Ashton?" I mumbled, looking down at the ground. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes, it was just too hard for me.
"God, I didn't know you still felt that way about me." Ashton muttered, almost to himself.
"So now that you know that I still love you, you're going to be all nice to me?" I questioned, finally having enough sense to back away from him.
"What? No, I'm just - "
"Ashton, you were just standing there yelling at me for almost fucking your best friend and now you're trying to get on my good side again just because I said something that I shouldn't have." I said, trying not to yell.
I was pissed off, because I didn't like the way that Ashton thought that he could win me back just like that after he refused to let me explain something that he saw completely out of context. For some stupid reason he thought that I didn't love him anymore, and now that he knows he seems to think that things can just magically return to normal, even though he was the one that ended things with me in the first place.
"I'm sorry." Ashton choked out, and I wasn't sure what he was apologizing for.
"No, I'm sorry." I sighed.
"I just - I just don't know what to do anymore." Ashton groaned, rubbing his hands over his face.
"Yeah, I don't either." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. Ashton took another step back from me, letting out a big sigh.
"I'm sorry." Ashton said again.
"Yeah." I nodded.
"I should go, shouldn't I?" Ashton asked, and he started to slowly back away, scuffing his feet against the ground.
"Yeah." I repeated.
"I'll see you later." Ashton gave me a quick wave, before he turned around and jogged the rest of the way to the sidewalk again, leaving me alone.
"Yeah," I muttered to myself as I unlocked the floor door, "See you later."
-
this was another filler cuz I have big things planned for the next chapter so sorry this was kinda meh i rushed it lol