Chapter Three (Tristian)
Dear God.
Why didn't I just say no flat out? Why didn't I just tell him to go away and leave me alone? I could've just bluntly told him off, but instead, I beat around the bush because I didn't want to embarrass myself or hurt his feelings. Fantastic. Now he thought I was in denial.
I wasn't in denial... Right? I mean, come on. I've never been attracted to guys at all. At the same time, I wasn't too into girls. I was too busy doing other things to care about dating in general. I never went through the whole 'experimentation' period of my life. I was too busy rushing through high school to get to college and by then, I think I had a pretty damn good reason for losing interest at that point.
I grimaced and scrunched myself up further on the chair, resting my head on the arm as I tugged a blanket over myself, trying to concentrate on the show. However, for once in my life, it was hard to focus on Tom's outrageous plots to catch Jerry.
I just stared at the screen, glancing up every so often to see if Rex had snuck back in after leaving to insist that he also stay the night. I didn't want to be in a house at night with him, even with locks. What if this guy was like Anthony? I made sure I was never alone with Anthony, unless it was in public, in which case I had plenty of people to witness an attack.
And yes, I wouldn't put it past Anthony to jump me. I wasn't being conceited, I was being cautious and maybe just a little paranoid, but paranoia could save my life, so I stuck with it.
I was tempted to try my "ignore the problem, it'll go away eventually" philosophy, but if it was failing with Anthony, then it would definitely fail with Rex.
He was too persistent. He kept playing around with words and almost freaked me out when I thought I offended him. I felt silly trying to talk to him. He was probably around Vic's age and, although he acted like he was a kid, I had a feeling he was way more mature than that and I still hadn't reached that level.
Nor did I want to.
I wouldn't trade cartoons, candy, and video games for office work, one night stands, and financial business. What sort of idiot would do that?
It took me a while to realize I had fallen asleep on the sofa and Ace must have come in and shut the television off because when I woke up, the living room was dark, save for the street lamp that shown through the window across the middle of the floor. I nibbled my lip before throwing the blankets back groggily.
As soon as I did, my stomach whined for food. I threw my head back with a groan. I could never get full enough to be content. I tried to heave myself up out of the chair, but to no avail, so I just rolled off and hit the floor on my hands and knees. I managed to pull myself up and shuffle to the kitchen, peering in first. Despite the darkness, I could make out a few shapes, being the counters, food still out, and other kitchen things.
I felt my hands along the counters, trying to get to the fridge when the lights flashed on and I gasped, tripping over my own feet and smacking into the floor.
"Why would you do that?" I demanded angrily, shielding my eyes and peering up to see Rex standing there in a pair of snug black boxers. I winced as Rex put a hand on his hip, an empty glass in the other.
"Because it's dark. What're you doing in the dark, pumpkin?" He asked, cocking his head. I frowned for a second, then got to my feet, steadying myself on the countertop.
"Starvin'." I answered flatly. Rex looked perplexed as he came over to the fridge, popping it open.
"You ate three plates of dinner."
"And a cinnamon bun."
"You must be one of those types who never gain weight. I envy you." Rex commented as he scanned the fridge for something to fill his cup with. I frowned for a moment, shifting uneasily as he pulled out a bottle of Budlight. Rex noticed my expression, then smirked.
"It's Rick's. Ssh, don't tell. Want some?" He asked as he got ready to shut the fridge. I hadn't had beer in so long nor had I been drunk since my second year of college-- the first time.
"Just a one." I replied. Rex nodded and reached in, taking out a bottle and handing it to me before he set his glass in the sink, popping open our bottles. I took a sip, hesitating afterwards with a disgusted expression. No wonder I hadn't drank it in so long. It tastes like garbage. I wanted to dump it, but if this was Rick's beer, I had to drink up the evidence before he crawled up my ass about it.
"Such a nice house," Rex complimented as he scanned the ceiling before taking another swig of Budlight, "My house back in Cali is sorta like this, only there's a whole seperate wing." I almost spit up my beer, managing to swallow it before coughing and looking at Rex in surprise.
"Cali?" I asked in disbelief. Rex smiled.
"Yup. I have a summer home in Cali and a cute little cottage up here during the rest of the year."
"What are you? A doctor? A lawyer?"
"Nah, I'm in marketing. Associate Director." Rex responded matter-of-factly with a nod, taking another gulp of his beer. I looked away thoughtfully. I didn't know much about marketing, but apparently it gave him enough cash to have two homes, and one of them was apparently bigger than Vic's.
Once upon a time, I had a house that was somewhat as big. A farm house just outside of the city where I could be all alone, but Anthony kept bugging me to the point where I just had to move somewhere where he couldn't find me. That and the fact that I couldn't afford to keep the house anymore because of my pay cut.
"What about you? You work with Ace, right? Accounting?" Rex asked. I grimaced, taking a gulp of beer.
"Uh, yea, but ain't what I wanna to go into. I only got the job cuz of my math and organizational skills. S'about it." I admitted with a shrug, sticking my tongue out and hoping the air would cool off the bitterness of the beer. Rex smirked.
"There's a better way to drink that and not taste it." He offered. I glanced at him suspiciously.
"It don't have to do with nothin' sexual, does it?"
"I'm offended that you keep assuming I'm some kind of rapist."
"Sorry." Even though I wanted to tell him that he was pretty much making a move on me in the living room, but to avoid anything awkward, I just apologized and took another sip of beer, grimacing. Rex laughed, then took the bottle from me. I started to protest, but he held up a finger, then gestured for me to turn around. I glared at him for a moment, then reluctantly obeyed and I had no idea why.
He put his arms around me, then brought his fingers to my nose, pinching it shut. I choked and he laughed in my ear, his hot breath making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I held my breath as he brought the bottle to my lips. I tilted my head back as he poured a small amount down my throat. The flavor was lost on me until he let go of my nose and I bleghed.
"Ugh! Why didn't you just tell me to plug my nose?" I demanded, rubbing at my nose and stepping away from him. Rex grinned.
"Because I like you. And when you like someone, you'll say anything just so you can touch them. Of course, I wasn't going to hurt you or anything." He added brightly, handing me my beer back. I snatched it away, studying the nose of the bottle for a moment before glancing at him sourly.
"Yea, well, I ain't no homo, so you got to stop actin' like you can change that. I mean, I'm sorry an' all that I ain't what you were expectin', but ya'll could at least respect my opinion." I muttered, feeling a little uneasy about finally flat out telling the guy. I expected him to be upset or something and make me feel bad, but instead, he surprised me by smiling.
"Everyone's a little gay inside, Tristian. It just takes something to pull it out."
"Yea, well, I ain't lookin' for it."
"Oh, come on," Rex drawled, then set his beer down with a smile, "I'll cut you a deal. Pleasure me. Just one kiss and if you don't like it, you can kick me in the gut. I won't even try to stop you. Then I'll leave you alone for the rest of your life." I stared at him, then raised an eyebrow.
"And if I don't?" I asked. Rex smirked, leaning against the counter sweetly as he kicked a foot up against the cupboard.
"Then I'll keep trying to get in your pants, even if it means forcing you. So, you can get it all over with now or drag it on." He offered. I glared at him.
"Why don't no just tell you everythin'?" I asked. Rex shrugged nonchalantly and stepped closer to me. I almost dropped my bottle of beer, but he caught it and set it on the counter, leaning forward into my face.
"So. Choose, country boy, or I'll choose for you." He smirked, his eyes locking with mine. There was no way I could do this. I had to get him away from me and go hide upstairs, or maybe run away and sleep in Ace's truck, no matter how cold it was outside. I mean, there was no way I would make out with another man.
First of all, he's a man. A really huge, creepy man who I just met and is already jumping all over me. A little part of me was flattered, but that wasn't enough to have me saying yes to anything he said. I ground my teeth together for a moment and opened my mouth to refuse his offer when his mouth fell on mine.
I froze.
Oh my God, what the hell is happening? He didn't even give me a chance to say no! I didn't want this!
His lips covered mine, his tongue not even hesitating or playing around before diving into my mouth. His breath was hot and I couldn't even breath past his tongue playing with mine. I gasped and started to pull away, but he slipped his arm around my waist and jerked me up against him so I could feel the rock hard bulge between his legs, pressing into my groin.
I moaned.
Oh God, what's happening? Why is this happening? This isn't supposed to feel like this at all! It was supposed to feel gross! At the same time, it was nothing like kissing a girl. Girls weren't this aggressive. Rex was forcing his tongue to explore every corner of my mouth, his hand slipping past the waistband of my pants to cup my bare ass. He ground his hips against mine, his other hand reaching up to brush through my hair.
I panted hard against his mouth, trying to suck in some oxygen, but he only clamped his lips over mine again and took over my mouth. I tugged at the sleeves of his shirt, not knowing whether I was pushing him away or pulling him closer.
My head felt like it was spinning and it was so hard to focus on thinking anymore. He was stealing my breath away and the room felt like it had gotten fifty degrees hotter, my cheeks hot and my eyes having trouble focusing as I finally just let them fall shut.
Rex pushed me up against the fridge, moving his other hand down to push into my pants, grabbing my ass and pulling me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep from falling and I think that's when it hit me what was happening. My eyes flew open and I pressed my fists against Rex's chest, just barely keeping him at bay.
"No!" I protested. Rex raised an eyebrow.
"How incredibly selfish of you. You're letting me do what I want one second, then shoving me away the next?" He asked, sounding surprised. I glared at him, struggling to keep my arms against his chest.
"I ain't interested!" I snapped, gritting my teeth. Rex sighed.
"Closet cases are so helpless."
"I ain't a closet case!"
"Do you even know what that is?"
"No, and I don't care!" I insisted, trying to drop my legs, but Rex still held me up and cupped my ass tightly, making me gasp at how hot his hands felt on my bare skin. He squeezed, making me wince as he continued to push against my arms, his face leaning in closer as he pinched at the skin on my ass.
"You're really in denial. How cute." He smirked, brushing his nose against mine, but I turned my head away quickly.
"I ain't in denial neither! You said just one kiss! This is more than a kiss!" I managed, grimacing as Rex nuzzled my ear, kissing me there before laughing quietly.
"Oh, please. I know our deal, but I never said what would happen if you did like it."
"I don't like it!"
"Looks like I'll need to pound that denial right out of you. Of course, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You have a very honest body, but a big fat lying mouth." Rex smirked, then slipped one of his hands around to cup between my legs. My face felt like it was catching on fire as I held my breath, his hand working on me skillfully.
I gasped, my legs trembling and tensing around Rex's waist. I grabbed his biceps, breathing hard as he tugged at me, pressing his thumb down on the tip. He hummed while he did so, vibrating his chest.
"Stop," I managed, hating myself for the way my voice was shaking, "Please, stop..." Rex 'tsked' as he squeezed me harder, making me gasp and grab onto him tighter.
"Do you really want me to stop? You're already leaking."
"S-Stop narrating it!"
"Why? It just makes you twitch even more."
"Stop!" I protested, but my voice shrank into an embarrassing moan as my hips thrust forward. My body trembled as I moaned, tilting my head back against the fridge. I'd never heard myself make that sort of sound before and it only made me moan louder as Rex jerked me off. I spilt everything I had, ruining my pants and leaving me a sweaty, panting mess on the floor as Rex stepped away, having let me hit the floor.
He licked the tip of his finger as I tried to regain my senses. Everything came back dully for a moment until I focused in on Rex's tongue sliding between his fingers.
"That's gross!" I blurted, then jerked my shirt down to hide my groin, clasping my legs together as Rex shrugged, walking to the sink.
"A bit thick. When's the last time you--"
"T-That ain't none of yer business! I told you to stop and you didn't!"
"So?"
"That's called rape!"
"It's not rape if both parties are willing."
"I wasn't willing!"
"You were in denial. There's a difference." Rex replied as he washed his hands off, then dried them on the nearby towel. He picked up his beer off the counter, taking a deep swig before looking at me with a nonchalant smile.
I wanted to run out of the room. Hell, the damn house!
I was so embarrassed. I wanted to melt into the ground and die. I couldn't believe it. This guy just tricked me into kissing him and jacked me off. Not only did I just meet the jackass, but he was a jerk too! He talked all high and mighty when he wasn't!
I was not gay! I just hadn't... done anything for a while, so of course I'd come! I didn't do it on purpose and it definitely wasn't because it felt good! I mean, not totally. I mean, it wasn't bad--
No!
I managed to jerk my pants up the rest of the way, bolting out of the kitchen as fast as I could and almost tripping up the stairs as I made my way toward the bathroom in the hallway. It was dark, but I managed to feel my way into the bathroom, snapping the lights on and jumping in. I locked the door and dropped my pants, kicking them off into the bathtub. I turned the water on, watching it soak my pants before I turned the shower on.
I ripped my clothes off, throwing them in the bottom of the tub so they were soaking wet. I stepped inside under the beads of hot water, sighing in relief as the water ran down my face. I stood there, feeling utterly embarrassed and disgusting.
Why did I let that happen? I should've known he was going to do something. Or maybe I went into it thinking he wouldn't do it because I was Ace's friend?
Of course. There I go again, using Ace as a shield.
I was a terrible person.
I rubbed my face with some soap and wet a cloth with shea butter body wash. I paused, watching the water rush down the drain.
Jeez... I felt like crap. I mean, for that split second, maybe it did feel good. It felt different. I hadn't done that sort of thing with a girl before. The furthest I got with a girl was oral and even then, I felt embarrassed the entire time because I wasn't doing as much as she was. She got bored with me too, which is why I went through plenty of girls to know I just wasn't the dating type.
I was happy with candy, cartoons, and video games. Was it wrong to live like that? Everyone around me acted like it. Ace kept pushing me to do things, like go to one of the parties on campus, get a girlfriend, make new friends.
How could I do that when I fault awfully uncomfortable with everyone around me? Friends, friends of friends, co-workers, classmates, the cashier at the grocery store.
I just wasn't meant to socialize.
"You're not a terrible person, Bug. People just don't know how special you really are."
Yea, right. They probably think I need special help. I'm thirty-two and live on microwave dinners and Japanese candy. I spend half my day at work, the other half at school. In between time is spent watching cartoons, playing with my Gameboy, or falling asleep on the sofa.
I sighed, pressing the heels of my palms to my eyes.
Whatever. It's done and over now. It's in the past... Just... Forget it. Clean up, sneak off to one of the guest rooms, and lock yourself inside. Sleep until noon the next day and then ask Ace to take you home.
I took a deep breath and finally relaxed, finishing my shower. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist, leaning on the counter. I waited a while before drying off. I went back to check my clothes, which were obviously still soaking wet, so I hung them on the rack nearby before inching toward the door.
I waited a while longer before unlocking the door and peering out. No one was in the hallway both ways. I nibbled my lower lip. This was gonna be risky, but it had to be done. I was not sleeping in the bathroom.
I took a deep breath and held the towel tightly against me as I shut the bathroom lights off, plunging myself into darkness. I felt along the wall for the open doors of the guest room. I paused near the staircase, but the kitchen light was off, which meant Rex was already in bed. I sighed in relief, then slipped into one of the guest rooms, turning the lights on to reveal the nice silk adorned canopy bed empty and waiting to be slept in.
I shut the lights out again, dropping the towel and flopping into bed. I curled up and jerked the blankets over my head.
Just forget it, Tristian. It's over and done with and will never happen again...
I couldn't tell if that was good or bad...
Oh God...