"Hey bro."
"What do you want?"
"Where are you?"
"Up your ass."
"That's gay."
"Well according to Audrey—"
"Yeah yeah, fuck off. I'm straight. I like girls."
"A girl."
"What?"
"You like—A—girl."
"So?"
"I just can't see you dating anyone."
"Why's that?"
"Cause. You never really showed interest in anyone before...and I thought it had something to do with dad."
"..."
"You're still scared of it, aren't you?"
"I'm not scared—"
"Yes you are. You're scared about ending up like him. Having someone then losing them and growing apart."
"I don't wanna lose her..."
"You're not."
"How do you know that?"
"Because. What you and Audrey have is different. How she can like you I have no fucking idea, but, both of your personalities together make something...pure. College girls are shit, bro. Keep her. Let her know she's what you want, what you need—but don't sound too cheesy about it."
"Too cheesy is bad."
"Yes, and make sure to chew gum before the dance."
"Ok."
"Buy her flowers or something. They love that."
"Got it."
"Don't eat anything garlic-y either—"
"Yup."
"..."
"Mhm."
"..."
"Ok. By—"
"..."
"Ok."
"..."
"N-No! I don't need condoms."
"..."
"I'm gonna hang up."
"Wait. You won't regret it! Just go to the drug store. Plans change all the time."
"I'm not gonna have sex with her!"
"Harsh, that's insulting to her womanhood."
"Your face is insulting."
"You're dumb. What'd you want in the first place?"
"I was gonna ask you for a ride to the dance."
"Yeah yeah whatever."
"Thanks."
"Now leave me alone. There's two hot chicks in front of me in line and they have major racks."
....
"Asshole."
*
Dedicated to: RaquelGirl2
❤️