Author's Chapter Notes:
Savannah's texts are in italics, Anyone else will be in bold
Nick, being the nosy git that he was, had witnessed mine and Harry’s goodbye through the car window and the second he was back in the car he demanded I tell him every detail of the previous night. So I did. And he made sure I didn’t leave out a single detail.
When I was finished he let out a sigh, “Well thank god you guys are finally together.”
“Oh. No, no, we’re not...I mean we went out, but we’re not together.” I shook my head and adjusted the beanie I was wearing that I stole from Harry.
“What do you mean?” He asked with a look of confusion.
“We’re not like official or something, we’re just...testing things out. It’s, I dunno, casual.” I shrugged, not sure how to describe it. The easing thing was easy for Harry and I to grasp, but I wasn’t doing so great at explaining it.
“What kind of bollocks is that?” He demanded.
“‘S not bollocks.” I grumbled.
“It is! You guys are perfect for each other and cute, I’ll bet you any money that you’ll end up official. Why bother with any of this garbage?”
“I just need some time, okay?” I said with a harsher tone than I meant. I cleared my throat, “Harry’s not exactly in the best place for a relationship either, you know, mentally.”
He looked ready to snap back at me for a second before he paused, thinking of what I said. Then he pursed his lips slightly, “I suppose you’re right. Kid is a bit of a mess...but what does that mean for you?”
My brows furrowed and my head fell to the side slightly. “In regards to…?”
“Did you guys set rules?”
“Rules?”
“Well, like, he’s gonna be in LA for an extended amount of time. Away from you. Surrounded by girls.” He enunciated. “What happens if he kisses someone? Shags someone? Is that okay?”
I opened and closed my mouth before being able to respond and my head began to spin a bit. It had all happened rather quickly, our talk, the date, and now leaving for LA. I hadn’t thought of any of what Nick was saying. I really wasn’t in any place to demand that Harry didn’t have...interactions with other girls. Obviously it would hurt, but he could do whatever he wanted. We didn’t put any boundaries on this so it would be unfair of me to hold him to a certain standard.
“If he wants to...then yes.” I lifted my shoulders slowly into a shrug.
“Yes?! Are you mad?” Nick shrieked.
“We didn’t discuss it! But I know we’re not, like, exclusive, so if he chooses to go out one night and snogs a girl...that’s up to him.” I explained. “I won’t hold it against him. That wouldn’t be fair, we didn’t define this.”
Nick sighed and continued to grumble on about how the “trainwreck” wasn’t over yet, but I chose to ignore him. I was tired and decided to focus my attention out the car window. I brought my legs up to my chest, still clad in Harry’s pajama bottoms, and rested my head against my knees, where Harry’s scent immediately invaded my senses.
It wasn’t like I thought Harry was going to get to LA and immediately being sleeping with every girl he came across. No, I had more sense than that. But I did begin to entertain the thought of him being out one night, drinking, and getting carried away with someone. It could easily happen.
I tried to shake all the negative thoughts from my mind as Nick pulled up to my flat.
“Sav,” Nick stopped me from getting out of the car. “I didn’t mean to worry you about this. Harry probably won’t even think of another girl while he’s away.”
I shook my head, dismissing his apology. It wasn’t necessary. “Don’t worry about it Nick.” I leaned forward to kiss his cheek and then hopped out of the car.
I walked into my flat, completely unaware of the car that had been behind us taking photos of me.
---
Once I got into my flat after work a few days later I fed Gizmo and took him for a quick walk, but the second I was back from that it was straight into my bed. I was absolutely knackered and wanted nothing more than a nap.
When I woke up a couple hours later I was surprised to see a text on my phone from a certain Styles. Just not the one I was expecting.
Gemma: Savannah! Hey, what are you up to this afternoon?
Savannah: Hi Gemma, I’ve got nothing. Why?
I was wondering if you’d wanna grab a bite to eat with me?
That sounds amazing actually, I’m starving haha.
Perfect!
We talked for a few more minutes, deciding where we should go, as I rushed around trying to make myself presentable.
I didn’t have time to wash my hair so I decided to plan my outfit around Harry’s orange beanie I was wearing. I grabbed a pair of dark wash jeans from the floor, a plain black top, and made a note to grab my army green jacket before heading out the door.
I was thankful that Gemma had suggested a small, sandwich shop she knew of instead of a fancier place because I had no time to do any better for an outfit. I walked in the door and immediately began to look out for Gemma’s blue and purple hair, but caught no sight of her. It surprised me when I saw a girl making her way towards me, but then I realized it was Gemma.
Her hair was no longer the two colors, but an almost white-gray blonde.
“Hey!” She greeted me with a hug.
“Hi, I almost didn’t recognize you without the colors.” I said, gesturing towards her hair.
“Oh yeah! I forgot you’ve only seen the blue and purple.” She nodded and ran a hand through her hair. “Don’t ever get used to a color with me, I’m always changing it.” She laughed.
“Noted.” I laughed. I found myself quickly at ease with Gemma, she spoke enough to fill any lulls in conversation, but not so much that it overwhelmed you. She was a lot like Harry in that aspect.
“So I can’t remember if we talked about this when we first met, are you in uni?” She asked as we sat and began to look at menus.
“I don’t think we did, no.” I laughed quietly. “I’m not though, tried it for a year and it was...just not for me.”
I tried so hard to make it for me that it was exhausting. I attempted to go out and have the full experience and also try to juggle classes I hated, but I couldn’t. Uni parties were not my scene and frankly scared me a bit. The classes were not my forte either, it was just that nothing there interested me. The lectures dragged and work became more and more of a struggle for me, to the point that I was having breakdowns weekly.
I had already been working at the shelter for a few months and it was Lily that convinced me to finally come clean to my dad. He was understanding, just like she said he would be and I never went back. Instead Lily gave me a full time job at the shelter and I’ve never wanted to do anything else. And it wasn’t that I was against university, for some people it was right and an amazing time, I just wasn’t one of those people.
“I’ve got a few friends like that, just didn’t fit right with them.” She said, understanding. I was glad she seemed to get it, a lot of people simply didn’t and judged me for choosing to drop out. “And they’re all doing fine, just like you seem to be.”
“Yeah, it definitely did me more bad than good. You’ve graduated though, yeah?” I asked, not wanting to get into all the bad.
“Yes, I have, thank God. Couldn’t wait to be done.” She rolled her eyes back.
“You had a job interview coming up last time we talked, yeah? How’d it go?” I recalled her mentioning it to Harry at lunch. I remembered that she had seemed quite nervous as she told him about it because she had said it was the perfect job for her.
“Good memory! Yeah, it went really well. I actually got the job.” She nodded as a slight blush overtook her cheeks and she reminded me of her brother as she sat with the small smile on her lips.
“Congratulations Gemma! Really, that’s so great. Did you tell Harry?” I could only imagine how proud he’d be of his big sister. Whenever he spoke of her he sounded like parent bragging about a child.
“I did, yeah. He insisted on taking me out to this restaurant between here and Holmes Chapel that we used to go to with our mum and dad when we were younger.” She smiled as she spoke so fondly of her brother. “We’d go as a reward whenever we got good marks in school. It was sweet.”
“That sounds really sweet.” I cooed.
“How are you going without that donut by the way?” She raised an eyebrow at me. Harry had been away for three days now and it hadn’t been so bad.
“Oh, just fine.” Just then our names were called and we went up to the counter to collect our sandwiches.
“Fine? Really? Not missing him at all?” She asked, teasing.
“Maybe a little…” I admitted hesitantly.
“S’alright to miss him.” She told me warmly, all hints of teasing gone. “Don’t let him on to this, but I miss him when he’s gone as well.” She took a bite of her sandwich and then continued as she swallowed. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know we don’t see each other every day or anything, but we could. You know? But like, when he’s away, it’s not even possible. ‘S just different...knowing I can’t hop on the tube and go to his to see him if I wanted.”
I nodded in understanding. “I get that, completely.”
“Suppose you do now,” she smirked. “He told me about your date.”
I blushed immediately and pulled my hands into my lap. “Course he did.”
“Glad he finally plucked up the courage to ask you. It was good?” She questioned.
I nodded and smiled at the memory of our date. “Really good.”
“I promise I didn’t invite you out to pull this whole big sister thing, but now that it’s sort of brought up…”
“It’s okay, go on. I’ve got brothers so I understand it.” I waved a hand letting her know she could continue. I would do that same thing with any girl either of my brothers ever brought around.
“He’s just been through a lot recently and I don’t want him to get hurt. Not that I think you’re gonna hurt him!” She backtracked and looked a bit frustrated, like she wasn’t quite sure how to word it.
“It’s alright, Gemma. We talked and he told me...a lot.” I said, letting her know I was aware of his past.
“Good, I was kind of worried he’d chicken out.” She shook her head. “But I’m glad you guys talked. This may sound strange, but I think you guys can really work, as long as you both stay honest with each other.”
“I hope so.” I admitted to her.
We both began to really eat our food after that and I was thinking about how happy I was that I accepted Gemma's invite out. Other than Grace, I didn't have a lot of female friends, and I found myself hoping that Gemma and I could hang out more often.
I was about to express that to her when a girl, looking to be around my age, approached our table.
"Hi, I'm so sorry to interrupt your lunch, but...you're Gemma right?" The girl asked nervously.
"Oh, um, yeah I am." Gemma wiped at her mouth with the napkin from her lap.
"This may sound so weird, but I just wanted to say that I think you have the best fashion sense and your hair is always wicked." She went on for a few seconds longer and I noticed the phone in her hand had a case with a photo of Harry on it.
I felt myself tense up a bit at that, worried that she'd recognize me and be one of the not so nice fans. She seemed polite enough, but I still had reservations.
She and Gemma spoke for a few minutes, the girl was asking her numerous questions about how she got her hair all the different pastel shades. Gemma was polite back, answering her questions to the best of her ability and telling the girl to check out Bleach, the salon Lou Teasdale owned, if she had a chance.
I noticed her eyes lingering on me every now and then, her main focus seemed to be on the beanie on top of my head and I realized she probably recognized it as Harry's. I adjusted it self consciously and prayed she didn't say anything.
"This is my friend Savannah," Gemma told her when she noticed her look over to me again.
"I thought so!" She said loudly and then covered her mouth. "Sorry, that was kind of embarrassing, I've just seen photos of you before on like Harry and Nick's instagrams." She said shyly. "You guys are all friends?" She asked curiously as she looked between me and Gemma. I found it bizarre that this stranger had the confidence to just walk up to us and ask such questions, but maybe that had more to do with my shyness than anything else.
I looked to Gemma, but she only gave me a slight nod, letting me know that it was my choice what I wanted to reveal to the girl.
"Yeah, we're all friends." I said with a shrug as I pulled at the ring on my thumb.
"That's cool." She nodded and soon after she left us with multiple apologies about interrupting and asking Gemma to follow her on tumblr. All in all it wasn't so bad.
"God I hate when that happens. It's not often, but every now and then..." She shuddered. "It's just like...who am I? No one, you know?"
"You handled it really well." I praised her.
“Thanks,” she rolled her eyes a little. “She seemed quite curious with you, didn’t she?”
“A bit. Wasn’t sure if I was just being paranoid.” I confessed.
“No, she was staring a bit. Are you alright?” She gulped.
I recognized the look in her eyes and sighed because it was obvious that Harry had told her about my anxiety. “I’m fine.” She nodded, looking unsure. “Really, Gemma.” There was a slight pause after she nodded. “How much did he tell you?”
“Not much, I swear. Just about what had happened when you guys got mobbed and he just sort of confided in me about being worried about you sometimes. That’s it.” She said, quick to defend her brother. I wasn’t upset that Harry told her anything, I was more curious about how much.
“‘S okay, I don’t mind.” I reassured her and she visibly relaxed.
“Do you have anything else to do today?” I asked as we stood to clear our table.
“Nope, not until late.” She replied. “Why? Got something in mind?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.” I smiled.
---
I think it was safe to say that Harry’s place as Sylvia’s favorite new customer was in jeopardy after introducing her to Gemma. The two hit it off immediately. Gemma confessed to being a bit of a shopaholic at times and Syl took her under her wing and guided her all around the store.
I had only bought a few items, but Gemma ended up leaving with multiple bags and was cursing me for bringing her to the store. She insisted that we’d have to make lunch and trip to the store a regular occurrence. She even mentioned bringing along Lou next time, which gave me butterflies. I knew the woman was extremely important to Harry and, although I already had Gemma’s approval, I had a feeling Lou would be like another big sister to get through. I wasn’t going to let myself worry about that now though.
I thought about texting Harry once I had been home for a few hours and seeing what he was up to, but I figured he was probably busy. It was still relatively early in the evening in LA and he’d been putting in late hours at the studios.
After taking Gizmo for an insanely long walk I decided to go on my computer. The girl at the shop asking about Gemma’s tumblr reminded me that I had my own severely neglected blog on the site. I opened it up, logged one and immediately went to the URL I heard Gemma recite to the girl as her own. I followed her and began to scroll through the posts on the first few pages.
A specific one caught my eye though. The girl we had met had apparently made a post about her “experience,” which I thought was a strange word to describe it. Gemma had reblogged it and added a quick “Nice to meet you” to it.
Okay, so I have a lot of people in my ask right now asking me the same questions about meeting Gemma and Savannah today so I’m just gonna make this post and try to get everything in it!!
So I was with my mom at this sandwich shop and I noticed two girls around my age sitting at a table near me. I thought that the blonde one looked familiar and I quickly realized that it was Gemma. I went back and forth with trying to decide if I wanted to go up and talk to her or not. If you follow me you know that I absolutely adore Gemma and her hair and style and yeah…
So I snuck like two pictures of the two of them at the table (x) and then decided that I wanted to go talk to her. I went up and right away like apologized for bothering them, but told her I just really admired her basically. She was super nice and answered all my questions about her hair and stuff. But like while we were talking I looked at her friend really quick and noticed that it was Savannah!!
If you don’t know who Savannah is she’s basically this girl that sold Nick Grimshaw a dog and has been hanging out with Nick and Harry all the time ever since. A lot of the time it’s just her and Harry though and like everyone thinks they’re dating. She looked so cute! But kind of nervous too. And I tried not to like stare at her, but I’m 100% positive the beanie she had on was Harry’s (that orange one) which I thought was kind of sweet.
So Gemma and I talked for a bit and (so embarrassing) but I think she noticed I was staring a bit so she like introduced me to Savannah and she gave me a little wave and I like said that I knew who she was (even more embarrassing) and I asked if like them, Nick, and Harry were all friends because I was too shy to just ask if she and Harry were dating and Savannah told me they were all friends. So I don’t know if her and Harry are actually dating or not, but I told them it was cool that they all hang out and stuff because I didn’t want her to think all fans are crazy and like hate her.
Then I apologized a few more times and asked Gemma to follow me on here (WHICH SHE DID, THANKS GEMMA) and then I left! But yeah. Basically Gemma was really cool and Savannah was sweet and if her and Harry are dating I’m definitely okay with it. I mean, come on, guys. It had to happen sometime and like she was wearing his beanie and out to lunch with his sister? Seems like it’s happening to me.
Wow. It was beyond weird to read the encounter from someone else’s point of view. Specifically someone who had apparently been watching you and judging what they observed. The weirdest part was definitely the link to the pictures she had taken of me and Gemma. She was more identifiable than I was, probably due to the beanie, but it was still easy to make out my own face in the photo.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about her closing statement, it wasn’t that I didn’t want anyone to know that Harry and I were...whatever we were, but it was strange to see it reasoned out like that. It didn’t seem fair. I could have easily been a friend of Gemma’s before Harry and simply borrowed a hat from him. I decided to shrug it all off and just be thankful that she wasn’t rude and posting nasty things about me. Although I did say a quick, silent prayer that this didn’t make other girls start approaching me.
I switched from the website to Netflix and began scrolling through my options of what to watch. My phone signalled I had a text and I glanced at it to see Harry’s name across it.
Savannah? Are you awake?
Yes..why?
Can you skype?
I looked down at myself quickly. I had on just an old plain white t-shirt of Connor’s, black knickers, and Harry’s beanie still. I quickly yanked the hat off my head and ruffled my fingers through my hair before pulling it up in a messy topknot.
Yeah, yeah. Um, just give me a minute
Sure
I got up to look at myself in the mirror to make sure the small amount of makeup I still had on didn’t look terrible. It was still presentable so I texted Harry and let him know I was ready.
We had exchanged Skype names when he called me when he had landed and he warned me that he was a skype-aholic. My screen lit up with his call and I took a deep breath before answering.
“Hello.” I greeted as his face appeared on my screen.
“Hiiii,” he dragged out. I noticed that he already looked tanner than when he had left.
“Surprised you’re out of the studio so early.” I noted that it was only around 6pm in his time.
He shrugged, “Wasn’t too busy today, the others had some event to go to so they bailed early. Figured I could do the same.”
“Sounds fair.” I agreed.
“How was your day? You’re up awful late.” He pointed out, it was around 2am for me.
“Lucky for you.” I teased gently and he laughed. Harry’s laughter was kind of beautiful, I realized I had missed it more than I thought as it rang out through my quiet bedroom. “Dunno, just haven’t been able to fall asleep.”
He made a concerned face at that. “How was your day?”
“Good. I actually had lunch with Gemma.” I figured he didn’t know about it because, knowing him, he would have already asked me a million questions about how it went.
“Thats-Wait, Gemma? My Gemma?” He asked, looking surprised which confirmed my suspicions.
“The one and only.” I nodded with a closed lip smile.
“She didn’t tell me that.” He furrowed his eyebrows and I giggled.
“There wasn’t too much to tell.” I told him honestly.
“How was it? Where’d you guys go?” He started to enquire.
“She texted me, I answered, we went out to a sandwich shop, she talked to one of your fans, and then we went to Sylvia’s.” I tried to breeze right over the fan part. I had no doubt that he’d find out about it one way or another, but I didn’t want to dwell on it. “By the way, Syl-”
“Wait, wait, wait. A fan went up to you?” He halted me before I could attempt a subject change.
“To Gemma.” I corrected him.
“Savannah…” He sighed and pulled at his lip.
“Yes, a fan came up to us.” I rolled my eyes at his tone. “She was sweet, she just spoke to Gemma about hair mostly and asked her to follow her on tumblr.” I explained. It really hadn’t been a big deal, but I knew Harry was going to want every detail.
“Did she talk to you?” He asked, sounding worried.
“Gemma introduced me, but she already knew my name and all though.” I shrugged like that was completely normal.
He exhaled through his nose as he rubbed his eyes, “Most of them probably do.” As he looked up at me through the screen and removed his hand from covering his eyes he looked sincerely worried. “You were okay though?”
“Yes, it was just one girl, Harry. You don’t have to worry about me.” I reassured him much like I had done his sister.
“Like I can help it.” He chuckled.
“I think she noticed I had on your beanie though.” I mentioned reluctantly. I knew for a fact the girl recognized it from her tumblr post, but Harry didn’t need to find out about that part.
“You had on my beanie still?” He had that look on his face that I adored. The adorably hopeful one that made me feel like everything I was feeling for him wasn’t totally one-sided. It gave me nervous butterflies in the best way possible.
“Well, I didn’t have time to, like, wash my hair before meeting Gemma, so I just,” I cleared my throat, “kept it on.” I paused and started to over think having worn his beanie out in public. Any of his fans would know it was his right away, obviously. “Was probably stupid, wasn’t it? I’m-”
“No! No, Savannah, don’t say sorry. It’s alright, you look adorable in my beanie.” I looked up and shot him a look as I rolled my eyes. “Really.” He sang as his face lit up. “But lunch with Gem was good?”
“Really good, I like Gemma a lot.” I told him and his face lit up even more. “We went to Sylvia’s and I reckon she likes Gemma even more than you.”
“Heeeey,” he pouted. “You still like me better though, yeah?” He asked in a teasing tone, but with a hint of something in his eyes that made me think he was doubting himself.
“Yeah,” I nodded slowly. “Definitely.” I spoke softly.
I saw it register in his eyes and watched him nod to himself with a smile on his face.
In the back of my mind I worried about this short time apart. I knew Harry’s demons were not something to be taken lightly and I feared that since he had left so soon after things had happened between us that they would win him over. That being away like this, he’d only have more and more time to overthink things and I wouldn’t necessarily be able to convince him otherwise.
Not wanting to think about this now I called out his name quietly to break him from the trance he seemed to be in.
“Wanna watch Grey’s?” I offered.
“Are you sure? You should be getting to bed soon, yeah?”
“Just an episode or two, I can handle a late night every now and then.” I smirked. “I just need to grab my charger.”
I sat up straighter and leaned over to grab the charger laying on my floor. I heard Harry take a deep breath in and clear his throat. I sat up once I had the charger in hand and looked at him, perplexed. He had looked away from the screen and slowly looked back as he saw my face staring back at him.
“Got it?” He asked with a slight crack to his voice.
“Yeah…” He looked down ever so quickly and began to giggle to himself and that was when I realized I didn’t have pajama bottoms on. So when I had leaned over to get the plug on the floor Harry had seen my bum on the screen. Well, my thigh and bum from the side really, which was embarrassing nonetheless.
He was sitting there like a 12 year old now, trying not to giggle and I was positive my face was redder than a tomato.
“So Grey’s?” I asked, desperately wanting to move on.
He composed himself and nodded. “Grey’s.”