Chapter 6
Ruby's P.O.V
I was curled up with Zu resting her head on my chest, watching Liam pace up and down the minivan from a small crack between the seats. He had pulled a bucket beside Elise and sat on it, staring at her for a while, before reaching out for her hand. He'd placed a pair of earphones over her head, attached to a small tape cassette, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. Liam took a few deep breaths and I couldn't tell which he was more afraid of, her staying unconscious or her waking up.
"Elise," he said, his voice barely audible, pulling the earphones from her gently and just staring. Not at her, he couldn't look at her, but at her hand, still wrapped in his.
I expected him to make some kind of joke about being shot or him coming to the rescue, but he didn't. He just said one word.
"Stay."
The pain in his voice was unmissable, tears welling in his eyes and threatening to spill.
"I know a huge part of your life is forever ruined because of what I did that day and I'm not dumb enough to think that I can fix it..."
He sniffled loudly and brushed a tear harshly from his cheek and placed both hands back on hers.
"... you don't have to forgive me... I just... I-I-I'm sorry."
There was a long pause, filled by heavy breathing and sniffling and sighs and suddenly I felt guilty for listening in. But I couldn't pull myself away.
He nodded at the cassette player and a faint smile flickered across his face.
"Sonata in B minor," he said, and I swear I'd never heard him speak so quietly "I know, you preferred Beethoven... but..."
He took another huge breath.
"We went on a supply run...weeks ago when we first got..."
More breathing.
"When we first got Betty, and somehow I found our neighbourhood..."
Liam was playing with her fingers, distracting himself, refusing to look at her face.
"An-and it was deserted, I mean completely deserted, so while Chubs was getting food I went to your house."
Liam's words were speeding up, merging together as one with panic, still no louder than a whisper.
"And I had to climb up the balcony to get in like I used t-t-to and I totally broke and entered and stole a few photos and I found your Walkman and your earphones and this tape was in it and I-I-I-I didn't dare change it because we taped over one of those songs for a class project and you were laughing Elise and we sounded so damn young and.."
His words were choked by a sob.
"... Happy."
His eyes landed on her face and I watched him crumple in front of me, his hand clamping down on his mouth as he tried to compose himself.
"Y-you 've got maps in your backpack, I've seen them. I don't know where but if you want me to come with you I will, b-b-but these people are my family okay I can't leave them... I'll convince them and we'll all go together. Just don't leave again. You can't leave."
His whole voice was quivering, breaking on certain words.
"I'll do whateveryou want. Anything. Just please stay... You're my homeElise,"
He bit down hard on his lip.
"You're my home. I don't care where we are, I just care that you're not on your own anymore. I know that now. I can't let you go this time Elise. I will do anythingif you stay."
His voice strained over the words and then he sighed, letting go of her hands and pulling back.
Oh, Liam.
There was an unbearably long silence.
And when it was over Liam had stopped crying.
"I think about Amy all the time," he said, his voice a lot stronger now "It always felt like she was my little sister too you know. And I remember the lullaby you used to sing her every time she was in the hospital for weeks."
Liam brushed his hands against his jeans and then stroked Elise's cheek.
"I sing it to Zu sometimes, not that I'm much of a singer, but I think it calms me more than it calms her"
He'd never sung since I joined the Black Betty crew but Zu had told me that Liam used to sing her to sleep. To me, it was hard to imagine. But I didn't need to imagine any more. He was playing with a strand of her, a single curl, wrapping it around his finger and then letting it unravel, again and again and again. And then Liam Stewart did something that was so completely different to the persona I had come to associate with him, that I actually thought I was dreaming.
He started to sing.
"Breath deep, breath clear,
Know that I'm here,
Know that I'm here,
Waitin'."
It was as if he was whispering the words at first, not exactly singing, his voice only just catching with a melody. But there a small smile that kept passing over his lips every time he hit a bum note.
It was beautiful.
"Stay strong, stay gold,
You don't have to fear,
You don't have to fear,
My darlin'"
Liam's throat was still tight from tears, hoarse from the shouting and fatigue. It seemed wrong to listen to him sing, the way his voice slip over the words, a southern tinge still clinging to them. It only made it more emotional that he wasn't a singer, every wrong note, every voice crack made it more real, made it more Liam.
"I'll see you soon,
I'll see you soon..."
Liam paused for what seemed like an eternity and I could feel my heart thudding in my chest. He was so raw, so vulnerable and he kept stroking Elise's face as though it was the only think keeping him alive.
Then he took a breath and continue.
"Sleep sound, sleep tight
Don't worry your mind,
Don't worry your mind,
Waitin'.
Come close my dear,
You don't have to fear,
You don't have to fear,
My darlin'"
Zu was starting to wake up and I could hear her thrash around a little as she rose. Her head bolted up first, over the top of the seats and I was petriefed of Liam seeing her and then stopping. Zu's eyes flickered down to me, crouching in the darkness and then back to Liam singing.
ShhhI mimed to her, and she ducked down beside me, watching from the same angle instead.
"How could a heart like yours,
Ever love a heart like mine?
How could I live before?
How could I have been so blind?
How could a heart like yours,
Ever love a heart like mine?
How could I live before?
How could I have been so blind?
You opened up my eyes,"
Zu clearly recognised the song but all I could focus on was the was Liam's hands were trembling as he let go of her and placed his head in his hands.
"You opened up my eyes,
You opened up my eyes,"
He stopped, untangled himself and sighed heavily, looking at Elise fully and shaking his head. It took a few seconds but Liam started to talk again.
'I know that's her song, and I know I could've, should have, done more to help but-"
Liam never got to finish his sentence.
Because suddenly everybody in that room, even Chubs who had been snoring away, was wide, wide awake.
And it was all about to go downhill from there.