Mei pulled herself up onto the table and rubbed her head, watching the Doctor and Indra place the prime minister's body back it the cupboard it fell out of. Indra then sat down a few seats along the table across from Harriet and Rose moved toward her sister with an uneasy expression.
"Are you alright?"
"My head hurts," Mei admitted, "And with what happened earlier . . . I'm scared Rose."
"Don't be," Rose pulled her older sister into a hug, "Once we're out of here, talk to the Doctor, he might know what's going on."
"Right!" the Doctor said, causing the sisters to pull apart, "What have we got? Any terminals? Anything?"
"No. The place is antique," Rose told him, "What I don't get, is when they killed the Prime Minister, why didn't they use him as a disguise?"
"He's too slim, they're big old beasts, they need to fit inside big humans," he told her, then frowned when he saw Mei cringe and rub her head once more.
"But the Slitheen are about eight feet, how do they squeeze inside?" the auburn haired girl asked, looking up at him.
"That's the device around their necks, compression field, literally shrinks them down a bit. That's why there's all that gas, it's a big exchange."
With a small chuckle, Rose said, "Wish I had a compression field, I could fit a size smaller."
"Excuse me, people are dead!" Harriet stated in a firm voice, "This is not the time for making jokes."
With a sheepish look, Rose apologised, "Sorry, you get used to this stuff when you're friends with him."
She indicated the Doctor who looked up from where he and his sonic screwdriver were scanning the walls with a small pout, making Mei laugh. Harriet looked between them uncomfortably.
"Well, that's a strange friendship."
"Harriet Jones, I've heard that name before, Harriet Jones. You're not famous for anything, are you?" the Doctor asked, wandering over to stand by Mei, resting a hand on her knee when she rubbed her temples yet again.
"Huh! Hardly," the older lady commented.
"Rings a bell, Harriet Jones," he looked as though he was struggling to remember something and Mei put her hand over his.
"Lifelong back bencher I'm afraid, and a fat lot of use I'm being now, the protocols are redundant, they list the people who can help and they're all dead downstairs."
"Hasn't it got like, defence codes and things?" Rose asked, causing her older sister to scowl, "Couldn't we just launch a nuclear bomb at 'em?"
"You're a very violent young woman" Harriet commented.
"Oh believe me, I've told her so," Mei sighed.
"I'm serious! We could!"
"No, we couldn't," the older Tyler argued, "For one we need the release codes kept by the UN, and for another, you would end up killing a majority of England!"
"Harriet Jones," The Doctor continued to think, moving to scan the mantelpiece, "Keep talking."
"Me?" Harriet asked, he nodded so she did as told, "The British Isles can't gain access to atomic weapons without a special resolution from the UN."
With a scoff, Rose commented, "Like that's every stopped them."
"Exactly, given our past record, and I voted against that, thank you very much. The codes have been taken out of the governments hands and given to the UN." The Doctor looked deep in thought. "Is it important?"
"Everything's important," The Doctor told her.
"If we only knew what the Slitheen wanted. Listen to me, I'm saying "Slitheen" as if it's normal," Indra finally spoke up, dropping his head into his hands.
"What do they want, though?" Mei wondered, "If they're making some sort of profit here, then they're obviously selling something on Earth. But what? Us? I mean people? Slaves?"
"Oh!" Harriet caught on, "Like Gold? Oil? Water?"
The Doctor gave her an appraising look, "You're very good at this." Harriet looked pleased as she thanked him. "Harriet Jones, why do I know that name?"
"How do you know anything?" Indra asked, then lifted his hand, "Never mind, don't bother. I probably won't understand."
"I like him," the Doctor decided, pointing at Indra, "He doesn't waste my time."
"And who does?" Mei asked, narrowing her eyes and the Doctor gave a sheepish smile, "Hmm?"
The Doctor was saved by Rose's phone bleeping her message alert. "Oh! That's me," she announced as she pulled it out of her pocket.
"But we're sealed off, how did you get a signal?" Harriet asked in surprise.
"Oh the Doctor zapped both our phones," Mei explained, waving her own one at the woman which died the moment after she took a cheeky selfie of herself and the Doctor, "Super-phone gets a signal any WHERE, any WHEN."
The woman then turned to the Doctor, "Then we can phone for help! You must have contacts."
"Dead downstairs, yeah," was his blunt reply.
Rose frowned at her phone, then showed the picture message to Mei, who stared at it in horror. A Slitheen covered in electricity like Margaret had been, was standing in their kitchen.
"It's Mickey," Rose told her, causing the Doctor to groan.
"Oh, tell your stupid boyfriend we're busy."
"Not so stupid after all," Mei commented in surprise as Rose showed the Doctor the image, "I may have to re-evaluate him . . . nah."
Rose was quick to call him, wanting to check on their mother but Mei was distracted by Indra as he wandered over. She raised an eyebrow at him as he pulled out the seat next to her and sat down.
"I just wanted to say thanks, for saving my life."
"Oh," she pulled on her braid, "No problem."
There was an awkward silence as the two of them looked around the room, neither noticing the Doctor watching them through narrowed eyes.
"Is there . . . something else?" Mei asked, seeing Indra glance at her a few times.
His cheeks tinted pink and he stammered as he got to his feet, nearly tripping over the chair legs, "No – uh no – nothing – not at all."
She smiled, trying not to laugh as he scurried away to stand by Harriet. The Doctor came over, opening his mouth to speak but at the same time, Rose appeared beside them, speaking loudly into her phone.
"Is she alright though? Don't put her on, just tell me."
Huffing, the Doctor snatched the phone from her, "Is that Ricky? Don't talk, just shut up and go to your computer." There was a moment's silence, Mickey obviously replying before the Doctor said with an incredibly nauseous expression, "Mickey the Idiot, I might just choke before I finish this sentence, but eh, I need you."
Rose and Mei caught each other's eyes and burst into laughter, causing the Doctor's ears to turn red. He did his best to ignore them as he put the phone on loudspeaker and lay it on the table so that everyone could hear.
"Go onto the UNIT website . . . Say again?"
"It says password," Mickey told them.
"Buffalo, two Fs, one L," the Doctor instructed, leaning on the back of a chair.
"So, what's that website?" Jackie's voice piped up.
"All the secret information known to mankind," Mickey told her dramatically. "See, they've known about aliens for years, they just kept us in the dark."
"Mickey, you were born in the dark," The Doctor replied and Mei burst into giggles, though she quickly covered her mouth when Rose gave her a glare, and went back to swinging her legs.
"Oh, leave him alone," the blonde insisted.
"Thank you. Password again."
"Just repeat it, every time. Big Ben, why did the Slitheen hit Big Ben?"
"Mei said it was a trap, once we're all running scared they gather all the experts, put them in one room. Easy enough to kill them all so they don't work it out," Indra remembered their earlier conversation, then his face fell, "Oh my god I helped."
The Doctor turned to Mei with an impressed look, before saying, "That lot would've gathered for a weather balloon, you don't need to crash land in the middle of London."
Rose piped up next as Harriet wandered around, handing everyone a glass of Brandy, "The Slitheen were hiding, and then they put the entire planet on red alert, what would they do that for?"
"Oh, listen to her." Came Jackie's cynical input.
"Oh lay off mum, we're trying to help!" Mei defended her sister. "She's doing a much better job than you are at the minute."
With a huff, Jackie replied, "Well, I've got a question if you don't mind. Because since that man walked into our lives, I have been attacked in the streets. I have had creatures from the pits of hell in my own living room, and both my daughters disappeared off the face of the Earth."
Rose sighed, "We told you what happened."
"I'm talking to him!" Jackie snapped, "Cause I've seen this life of yours, Doctor. And maybe you get off on it. And maybe you think it's all clever and smart, but you tell me. Just answer me this - are my daughters safe?
Mei frowned when she saw the intent look the Doctor was giving the phone, she knew he couldn't answer it, this would be the fourth time she and Rose had been in danger while in his care, what could he say that wasn't a lie?
"I'm fine," Rose insisted, "We're both fine."
"Are they safe? Will they always be safe? Can you promise me that? Cause the last man who promised me Mei would be safe-"
"MUM!" the auburn haired exclaimed, "Not. The time!"
Still silent, the Doctor glanced up at Rose and then looked to Mei, who avoided his eyes but laced their fingers together.
"Well, what's the answer?"
Before anything could be said, Mickey took the phone back, "We're in."
The Doctor jumped back into action, letting go of Mei's hand as he moved around the table, "Right then, on the left, there's a tab, an icon, little concentric circles. Click on that."
"What is it?" he asked as a whirring beeping noise came through the phone.
"The Slitheen have got a spaceship in the North Sea and it's transmitting that signal, now hush, let me work out what it's saying."
"He'll have to answer me one day," Jackie announced spitefully.
Mickey gave a rather violent, "Hush!"
"It's some sort of message."
"What's it say?" Rose asked.
"Don't know, it's on a loop, keeps repeating."
"If they're out to make a profit," Mei ran her finger around the rim of a glass on the table, staring into space, "They need buyers, they need people to spend money, couldn't it be an advert? Beaming an advert up into space, come and spend your money, come and buy what we're selling."
"Mei?" the Doctor asked, slightly worried about the distant look on her face, he reached out and took her hand, "Mei?"
Jumping at the contact, she focused on him, back to normal, "Sorry, just thinking out loud."
"It's a good thought though," Indra agreed, "If you want to make a profit, you DO need buyers."
The sound of a doorbell ringing came through the phone and the Doctor "Hush!"ed it.
"That's not me," Mickey told them, then obviously turned his attention to Jackie, "Go and see who that is."
"It's three o'clock in the morning," She told him, outraged.
"Well go and tell them that."
"Mei's right," The Doctor said suddenly, tightening his grip on the older Tyler's hand, "It's beaming out into space, who's it for?"
"It's him! It's the thing, it's the Slickeen!" Came Jackie's panicked cries over the phone.
"They've found us."
"Mickey, I need that signal," the Doctor told him, and Mei gave him a horrified look.
"Sod the bloody signal!" she snapped, "Mickey get our mother out of there!"
"We can't, it's by the front door," Mickey explained. "Oh, my God. It's unmasking. It's gonna kill us."
Seeing how terrified Mei and Rose looked, Indra spoke up, "There's got to be some way of stopping them!" he turned to the Doctor, "You're supposed to be the expert, think of something!"
Glaring at the man, The Doctor said, "I'm trying!"
"I'll take it on, Jackie. You just run. Don't look back. Just run," Mickey ordered.
Rose turned to the Doctor, then gestured between herself and her older sister, "That's our mother."
The Doctor glanced up at Mei, then squeezed her hand, "Right! If we're going to find their weakness, we need to find out where they're from - which planet. So, judging by their face and shape, that narrows it down to five thousand planets within travelling distance. What else do we know about them? Information!"
"They're green," Rose jumped in.
"Yep, narrows it down."
"Uh, good sense of smell," Indra joined in.
"Narrows it down."
"They can smell adrenaline," Mei told him.
"Narrows it down."
"The pig technology," Harriet pointed out.
"Narrows it down."
"Slipstream engine in the Thames," Mei remembered.
"Narrows it down."
"Compression technology," Indra added.
"Yup, narrows it down."
"It's getting in!" Mickey cried out but was promptly ignored.
"Oh! They hunt like it's a ritual," Rose exclaimed.
"Narrows it down."
Harriet then piped up again, "Wait a minute! Did you notice, when they fart, if you'll pardon the word, it doesn't just smell like a fart; if you'll pardon the word, it's something else, what is it, it's more like uh, um-"
"Bad breath!" Indra announced.
"That's it!" Harriet agreed with a clap.
"Calcium decay! Now that narrows it down!"
"We're getting there, mum!" Rose insisted, leaning over the phone.
"Too late!" Mickey exclaimed.
"Calcium phosphate, organic calcium, living calcium, creatures made out of living calcium, what else, what else?"
"I dunno. Hyphenated surname?" Mei asked sarcastically, only for the Doctor to grab her cheeks with a huge grin.
"Yes! That narrows it down to one planet! Raxacoricofallapatorius!" he announced, before kissing the tip of her nose, sending a pink blush across her cheeks.
"Oh, yeah, great. We could write 'em a letter," Mickey complained, but Rose was too busy grinning at her sister and the Doctor to notice.
"Get into the kitchen!" the Doctor ordered, pulling Mei around the table.
"My God, it's going to rip us apart!" Jackie cried.
"Calcium, recombined with compression field, ascetic acid. Vinegar!" The Doctor announced.
"Just like Hannibal!" Harriet cheered, causing Indra to chuckle.
"Just like Hannibal," The Doctor agreed, "Mickey, have you got any vinegar?"
"How should I know?"
"It's your bloody kitchen!" Mei reminded him.
"Cupboard by the sink, middle shelf," Rose announced, earning strange looks from everyone in the room.
"Give it here," Jackie ordered, taking the phone, "What do you need?"
"Anything with vinegar!" the Doctor told her, glancing at Mei when she squeezed his hand in worry.
There was a pause before Jackie announced with excitement, "Gherkins! Yeah! Pickled onions! Picked eggs!"
Mei covered her mouth, looking a sickly green colour and the Doctor gave Rose a horrified look, "And you kiss this man?"
Indra snorted, quickly looking away when Rose glared at him, but even Harriet looked ready to laugh. There was a moment's silence on the other end, before the noise of a loud fart and a bang came through. Everyone sighed with relief.
"Hannibal?" Rose asked.
Harriet supplied her with the answer, "Hannibal crossed the Alps by dissolving boulders with vinegar."
"Oh. Well, there you go then," The blonde grinned, raising her glass. The others did as well, mimicking a toast before taking a sip.
The Doctor screwed up his face at the taste, while Mei grinned and leaned her head on his shoulder.