Kill them with kindness.
Chapter 13
You always have to increase your amount of abilities. You always have to reach till the top. You always have to have high expectations.
But right now, I don't feel like. Why does this get more complicated and complicated?
Why would I have high expectations when the dissapointments are this low.
Why?
Why do I feel like a low expectation.
I feel like I am not good enough to know the truth. Why does suddenly everyone knows everyone.
I just.. this gets too much.
I throw the picture against the wall, and I let out a loud scream.
I scream more, and more and MORE.
I am tired of this.
I throw the whole photobook against the wall, and several photos are falling out. I kick in the place where the photo of Harry and Delilah landed.
I scream harder, and louder, and full of emotions.
"Will you take care of my stuff?!"
A strong, harsh voice interrupts me. Harry.
He comes at me, and I see the anger filling his eyes. We almost are nose to nose, and his appearance intimidates me. In one move, he grabs my hair and pulls me to the floor.
I let out a shout of pain, and he holds me really tight, he bends over me.
"Don't.Fucking. Touch. My. Stuff."
I yell, I shout, I try to release my hair, and I feel like it's getting pulled out. He drags me through the room by my hair, and an evil laugh escapes his mouth.
I never experienced him like this. He really scares me. My head is burning, my hair is burning, my heart is burning.
This guy is sick in his head!
He drags me till I lay on his bed, and I scream to let somebody know I am stuck here. But then he helds his hand over my mouth, and I almost choke. I feel my lips getting pale, and I lick his hand.
Unfortunatly he doesn't back off, and he hisses:
"You are fucked up. Don't ever dare to talk to me. Even speak to me. Or THINK of me. YOU ARE WORTHLESS." He spits and screams his last words.
The next move, goes too fast to go unnoticed.
He grabs a knife from behind is back, and he slices in my arm.
I am screaming and yelling and shouting from pain.
I feel the drops of blood dripping out of my wound.
I feel the pain draining through my body, I feel the prain draining through my brain.
I notice Harry is leaving, and my vision gets blurry.
The slice reaches from my armpit onto my elbow, and I feel a few veins exploding. My eyelids are hanging half open, and my face feels pale.
I feel my body is fighting.
My body is fighting against the waiting darkness, I feel it.
The deep, dark hole at the end. The hole of darkness. The eternity darkness. If I go there, I am not coming back.
I feel the light is embracing me, and I slowly get sucked into the deep dark hole.
Is it worth it? Should I just let go? To be released of my problems?
To escape? From Harry, Stripy, Liam, Blondie and Tough Boy?
Is this the best way?
No.
I have to fight.
I need to fight.
Fight, for the truth.
The truth is what I deserve. The truth about Delilah. It's what I deserve.
And I will go till the end to get it.
I slowly reach out my hand, back to the light.
I feel the dark is touching me, but I build a strong will up in my head.
This is not the right time to let go.
It's not the right way.
If I will end it, it has to be done by me, not by Harry.
I underestimate the power of the hole, and I am getting closer.
The darkness nips of my energy, and I feel it's getting harder and harder to fight.
I feel the light is slipping away, and I reach my fingers to the light.
I push, and push, and push.
The light is coming back, and it hurts in my eyes because of the amount of bright light. I'm closer, and closer.
I let out a yell, and I open my eyes.
I am shaking, and I see someone in front of me.
I throw a scared glance, and I slap the figure.
"OUCH WHY DID YOU SLAPPED ME" A voice says, and is faking a cry.
My vision is clear again, and I notice Finn is in front of me.
I get up shocked, and I say:
"I'm so so sorry!"
He gets up and he laughs, and I laugh a long. He is alone in here, and I feel something around my arm.
He wrapped a bandage and his belt around it. I notice some blood stains on his sleeve, and a part of his shirt is ripped out.
"What the hell happened? I saw Harry coming out of this room, blood stains all over his body! Then I found you here, bleeding to death!" His voice is almost shrieking, and I find a tad of worriedness in his blue eyes.
"Yeah.. not sure if I can tell you.. Hey, weren't you guys gone? According to some kind of call?" I ask, quickly changing the subject.
He notices the quick subject change, and he frowns a little but answers my question.
"Yeah I actually forgot my coat, so I went back. Are you okay now?" He says.
I nod, but I still feel the darkness close. I was almost gone. Maybe I should've taken the chance, and just let go.
But you know why I didn't?
Because all the fighting would be hopeless.
All the fighting, would be thrown away so easily.
And I need to know. I need to know the truth.
The truth. That's all I want.
"Yes. I'm okay now. Thanks." I say, and I feel shivers rolling down my spine.
"Uhm. I was wondering.. Why does every single person in the hall is talking about you and saying you are an attention seeker?" He says, while hesitating.
I look up, and I look to him, right in his eyes. What?
I thought the hype of insulting the new girl was over.
I feel like when I was younger, and I was in the D' Ardenne. A year before, I had climbing lessons, and I loved it. So, we were in D'Ardenne and we were in a hiking park. There were high rocks, and they all formed a wall together. It was like, 20 metres.
I didn't had security, but I did wanted to climb. So, I climbed up there, without security. When I was at about 5 metres high, a huge rock, which had a height of 1 metre and a length of 2 metres, came rolling down. And I still was on the wall. It rolled and rolled. It was so close. Then, the big rock where I hung up to, broke too. It rolled down together with me. Down hill. I rolled, and the rock where I stood on a few minutes ago, bounced over my head. If it would be 2 inches to the right, I wouldn't be here anymore. Unfortunatly, the big rock which was rolling down, was still rolling. It rolled over my leg. When I layed still, it bounced one more time on my leg, and then it was gone. My leg was hurting so much, I almost passed out. My mum fed me chocolate, cause I really needed the sugar rush to get going. My leg was twitched, and it had a bizarre form. There was a lot of blood, and it hurted so badly.
We rushed to the hospital, and they took some photos. Conclusion; I needed stools, and 4 layers of bandage. I wasn't able to walk for 1 and a half month.
A week after the accident, I was still thanking god for not letting me die.
A week after, it was time to go to school again. I told in my class about my accident, and the first thing the boys in my class did? They laughed at me. They told me, I was an attentionseeker. And you know what? My teacher heard it, and it was clear she agreed with them.
Also some girls thought I was, but you know, I always had the feeling they didn't bother if I died to that accident. They probably still would think i'm an attention seeker.
I never asked for that accident! I love to trade, I missed walking so much.
I felt horrible, and I cried myself to sleep. Why could nobody just accept me? It wasn't my fault I had an accident.
The feeling returns now, and I wonder what I did this time wrong.
A tear is slipping from my eye, and Finn notices and wipes it away. I smile at him, and he smiles sheepishly back.
"You don't need to tell me. But promise me if something is wrong, talk to me!" He says, and my smile is wider now.
"Thanks, Finn." I whisper, and he rubs his hand over my back.
We sit like that for another ten minutes, and then Finn breaks the silence.
"Tonight they are playing Truth or Dare, want to join?" He says.
"Seems fun! And thanks again, for quite saving me." I grin, and he joins.
He and his mates are really nice. I wonder how he knows such a jerk like Harry.
Sigh.
I am quite shocked, that Harry actually stabbed me. It feels like another slice of my self esteem, and another slice of secureness. Another slice in my heart.
He really let me know i'm unwanted. He really let me know that he and everybody else hate me. I am just going to smile in their faces. I am going to kill them with kindness. They deserve to know that I don't care, while I actually do. I will just put on my mask, and ruin their plan of ruining me.
I am going to kill them with kindness.
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Wow! Nobody guessed my age!
I actually am 13.
And please don't think, yeah she's 13 don't listen to her she knows nothing. But please, don't change your opinion. Cause I already have been trough a lot, and I speak out of experience.
A few of you think you know what is up with Harry and Delilah..
Well, let me know what your prediction is!