7 years later
I annoyedly blew a loose strand of hair out my face, re-running the paint roller over the area where the powder blue pigment covering the recently white walls wasn't fully colored. I had tried waiting for Harry to come home, but quickly became impatient, despite his demand to let him do the job.
I decided I was in need of a break, wiping the back of my hand over my forehead as I steadily stepped down from the ladder. I spun around, seeing my three year old's foot hovering above the pan filled with paint from across the empty room.
"Declan," I called, tone rebuking. His pale-hazel doe eyes glanced up to me curiously. I shook my head reprimandingly, causing him to huff and shuffle towards me against the plastic laid out on wood floor.
His bottom lip poked out and I swore he never looked more like Harry than in this moment. "Why can't I play with it?" he whined, pointing to the pan.
I kneeled down to be equivalent to his height, brushing his lengthy chocolate hair out of his eyes. "Because that's grown up paint, sweetie, and grown up paint has a lot of bad stuff in it and mommy doesn't want you to end up in the hospital."
"I'm not scared of the hospi-pal!" he announced, hands going to his hips while he projected his chest. I chuckled at the action. "I'm not scared of anything!"
"Really? Not even the Tickle Monster?"
He smiled, dimples hollowed in his cheeks, shying away from me as my hands formed claws. "No," he shook his head, drawing out the word.
"You sure?" I quipped.
He remained silent, letting out a little war cry as he took off out of the vacant room and down the hall. I jogged after him, hearing his giggles ring throughout the house and trail off downstairs. I followed his laugh, peering around the wall near the stairs. I discerned a pair of feet dangling off the couch, causing me to tiptoe across the carpet.
"Hi, mommy," Ava greeted excitedly, waving. I was met with large golden green eyes and extensive curly hair in a ponytail tied with a small pink bow. She had gotten her corkscrew locks from her father, and I knew she would find it hard to tame when she got older.
"Hi, angel," I grinned, shuffling over to where she sat comfortably. I glanced at the tv, the Caillou theme song playing faintly. She had been watching the show most of the day. Most of her five years, actually. Harry and I knew the theme song too well.
"Are you looking for Declan?" she asked, gaping up at me.
"Do you know where he is?"
Her finger directed me to the sliding door that led to the porch, curtain draped over it. A small figure outlined in the cloth, causing me to smile. I looked back to Ava, who was beaming amusement.
I put my finger to my lips to silence her, her mimicking my actions. I shambled towards the drapes, hearing hushed snickers.
"Hm, I wonder where Declan is?" I questioned rhetorically. I glimpsed back at Ava, winking as she grinned, feet swaying eagerly.
"These curtains look pretty dusty." I pretended to examine them, the figure shifting slightly, causing the material to ripple. "Maybe I should air them out."
My hands went out to ruffle the fabric, trailing down to poke at the shape, which began laughing uncontrollably as my hands moved rapidly against the squirming body beneath the valance.
"Hey, curtains don't laugh," I teased. I drew it back to reveal Declan smiling widely.
"I tricked you," he said proudly.
"You're good," I said, dragging out the last syllable. He flashed me a knowing smirk.
"When's daddy coming home?" I heard Ava question from behind me. I glanced at the wall clock above the window, it reading six thirty two. Harry would usually return from work around six o'clock, earlier even, since it was a Friday.
I scrunched my eyebrows. "Hm. I don't know."
"Can I go watch tv, mommy?" Declan asked, peering up at me.
"Yeah, go ahead." He jogged past me to join Ava on the couch.
I ran over the reasons of why he would be late, but remembered that I had promised not to stress. Correction, forced to promise.
Harry and I would both go to work while the kids went to school and daycare, and after I rounded off my job, I would bring them home. We'd eat dinner - either cooking by the courtesy of Harry or resort to a restaurant or diner, usually that would be our alternative because of my terrifying inability to prepare any edible meal, other than macaroni and cheese with sliced up hot dogs. I made it one of my major goals to learn how to cook something without it catching fire or turning out terrible. Later on in the day, we would alternate between giving the kids baths, although they preferred Harry, the stories he told them during the time becoming of interest. We would put them to bed, which was the lengthiest time of our day, Ava and Declan wanting to receive goodnight speeches from both mommy and daddy, which we didn't mind. I always assumed it was so they didn't have to go to sleep right away.
I heard a car door slam, my hand going to pull the curtain aside, seeing a languid Harry strut out of his car in the driveway.
It wasn't long before a key was being jimmied into the lock of the front door. Ava and Declan gasped in simultaneous excitement. Harry entered, causing them to sprint towards his waiting arms.
"Hi, munchkins," he greeted. He grunted as he lifted both of them, each discoursing their welcomes cheerily.
This was a routine situation, and it warmed my heart seeing how much love Harry has for them, and vice versa. I scuffed towards them, rearing around the corner to brace my torso against the wall of the hallway connecting the living room to the front door.
"Sorry I'm late." His eyes quickly flickered to mine, my expression deeming forgiveness. He shot me his signature dimpled smile. "How was your day?" he inquired. I grinned at the fact that he treated them as small adults.
"I learned how to spell 'doctor' today at school," Ava announced.
"What?" Harry asked in shock. "Ella, we have a prodigy on our hands." I chuckled to myself as Ava beamed showily.
"And what about you, little man?" Harry turned to Declan, whose attention went to me.
"Mommy tried to tickle me!" he proclaimed, finger directed to me.
Harry drew in a breath dramatically. "She did?"
"Hey, you said you weren't scared of the Tickle Monster," I retorted jokingly.
"I'm not," he pouted. Harry pressed a kiss in his hair.
"We know," he consoled. He set them both down before looking to me. "And what have you been up to?"
"Mommy painted the ba - " Ava began, but I quickly interrupted.
"Mommy did nothing today," I said nervously.
Harry's eyebrow quirked in accusation as I plastered a broad smile on my face. He glanced down at the kids, who were puzzled as to what was going to happen.
"Race you upstairs?" Harry lodged.
They both darted past me and up the steps, giggles vanishing. Harry stood a few meters away from me, jade locked on chestnut.
"C'mon, you can't be mad at me over a room."
"It's not about the room," he groaned. He dragged his feet as he approached me. "I don't want you to have to worry about simple things like painting a room when I can do it myself."
"That's the thing, Harry, I'm not worried about anything. I just don't want you to have a whole bunch of things on your plate when I can help you with some of them."
His demeanor regarded understanding. My hands hinged on his jaw, trailing up to tangle in his hair. "You have to understand that this is a fifty-fifty marriage. Just because you're my husband doesn't mean you have to do everything. I vowed to take care of you. So let me."
He glimpsed at the floor for moment, exhaling. "Okay," he nodded. "I'm sorry." I brought my lips to his tenderly, feeling his arms sling around my waist.
There have always been moments like these throughout our marriage, where Harry forgets that I relish in the feeling of knowing I made his day a little less dreadful. In the fact that I'm able to cherish him and comfort him and love him. But I'm always here to remind him.
I pulled away, him pecking my lips once more before we migrated back to the living room.
"No one asked you how your day was," I sounded, fumbling with his open tie.
"Eh, same old," he dismissed, shrugging off his jacket to throw it over the arm of the couch. "We got a new guy in delivery today. And guess what?" I looked at him expectantly as he untucked his shirt.
"He told me that his girlfriend is pregnant, and he really needs the job to support the both of them. And he just reminded me of myself, when we were twenty three and scared out of our minds."
I dwelled in the memory, letting out a breathy chuckle. I never neglected the remembrance the baby we had lost, neither had Harry. It still is a stab to the heart for the both of us whenever it's mentioned, but we find it better to abide in the present rather than the past.
Harry had started a business similar to his father's, but ran the company differently. He continued the tradition of producing new technology; like towel dryers that not only takes the moisture out of towels, but also disinfects them with a UV light. A chalkboard gadget that transforms chalk dust into new sticks. Bath stones that regulate the water to make it either warm or cold. A levitating sofa that uses a giant magnet to simulate sitting on a cloud. Things that were revolutionary, some of them at the consideration of the Styles household. Ava, with her imagination, had presented the sofa idea.
But he also had simple things manufactured to countries that were not yet urbanized, like televisions and computers. I called to mind the period of time where he traveled to Africa to get a notion as to what they were in need of, technology wise, and he returned in tears. He went on for days about what he experienced and how fortunate we are and how much he wanted to help the people, give them everything, but couldn't because it wasn't his place to do so. I remember consoling him constantly, knowing he was only feeling this way because his heart was pure and filled with love, even for people that didn't speak the same language he did. It was my favorite trait about him, the tenderness within him for everyone he comes across.
"Now look at us," Harry grinned. "We're living in the suburbs in a great house with two amazing kids." He glanced down at my stomach, lips rising and curling to beam excitement. "And another on the way."
My hands went to rest on my abdomen lovingly. I had found out two weeks ago that I was pregnant yet again, and although it was unplanned, everyone, including the kids, were ecstatic. There was questioning as to whether we could afford another baby, but Harry being Harry, he promised we would make it work, which we are.
"But even if we were living in your old one bedroom apartment with the broken heater, I still would've been happy," I discoursed.
He shuffled towards me. "I know. And I love you for that."
"And I love you," I leered, the tip of my nose nudging gently against his. He pressed a kiss to my lips, and I knew this would never die out. The affection and adoration we have for each other is everlasting.
We simultaneously drew away when a small squeal sounded from upstairs. My eyes widened when I came to acknowledge the door of the recently painted room was was left open. I rushed up the stairs, Harry quickly trailing behind. We both stopped in the doorway, discerning Declan pressing his tiny paint-coated hands against the only washed out cream color wall that was left, scattering his imprints along them, while Ava found herself dipping her entire arm into the can filled with the coloring.
Harry and I darted towards each of them, me prying Ava away from the container while Harry pulled Declan from the wall.
"Ava," I droned rebukingly.
"No, Ella," I heard Harry chime in. "I kind of like the, uh, essence of it," he said, gesturing towards the small hand-shaped stamps in the cyan blue color. "The handprints along the wall. It's gives a somewhat...warm fuzzy feeling to the room."
I rose my eyebrows in intriguement, him ambling towards the container. He dipped his hand into the can, walking back over to force his palm on an angle beside one of Declan's embossments. Harry's was obviously colossal compared to his.
"It really does look nice," I agreed. I followed Harry's actions, branding mine against a plain section of the wall.
"I wanna do one!" Ava exclaimed. She skipped coating her hand in paint, her entire arm sufficient enough. She excitedly stamped both hands right in the center of the wall, Harry aiding in lifting her up.
There was momentary silence among everyone, each of us conjuring up the same idea. It wasn't long before blue coloring was being splattered in every which way, mostly to each other rather than the wall. Harry chased after Ava, me chasing after Declan, and at times the other way around until the plastic covering was nearly a pool of paint, and we all resembled smurfs. I mentally thanked myself for painting the other three walls, leaving the one in the middle for last.
We somehow ended up in a heap on the floor, adjacent to one another.
"Has anyone thought of a name for the baby yet?" I questioned.
Declan shot up from where he laid beside Harry. "Big Bird!"
I let out a breathy laugh. "Okay, Big Bird is on the list. Ava?"
She sat up alongside me. "Daddy said we should name it Whoops." I turned to Harry, who avoided my glare.
"Did he?"
"Alright, alright, I think you two need a bath," he chuckled nervously, referring to the kids. He stood to his feet, me doing the same as he hoisted them over his shoulders, them erupting into giggles. "And maybe mommy and daddy can take one afterwards?" He playfully winked, corner of his lip raised to form a smirk.
"We'll see," I teased.
He hummed against my lips as I brought mine to his briefly. Ava and Declan made quiet noises of disgust.
"Don't worry, I know mommy's a girl, but she doesn't have cooties," he joked, exiting the room.
"Don't you have cooties, daddy?" Ava questioned.
"Yes, all boys will have cooties until they turn thirty. That's when you can start dating them."
I smiled to myself, glancing at the wall covered in our prints. Harry was right, the room did emit a fond sensation. And I know the baby that is going to reside in it would feel the endearment of this family one way or another.
An amiable tenderness welled up within me at the thought that this was how things played out. It felt as if I went through hell and back to get here, but I did, and I couldn't have been more content. There were times where I felt as if nothing was going right, especially with Ava and Declan, as well as our marriage, but I wouldn't trade the laughs and the lightheartedness and the love for anything.
And when I look back on the moments of pain and tears and pure desolation, I realize that it was all just steps to something greater. And this was it.
- AUTHOR'S NOTE -
you guys i dont even know what to say it took me a month to write this and i said a month ago i was gonna finish it and i didnt im so sorry thank you guys soooo much for bearing with me on this a whole bunch of stuff was going on my dad just recently got surgery my grandmas still in the hospital all this other stuff and im really sad this is over BUT this is an opportunity to improve my writing so im really excited to continue 'solace' (zayn fic on my profile go look at it pls thank u) and hopefully that one will be better than this one was lol LOVE YOU GUYS A WHOLE BUNCH PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING AN ASS I'LL CONTINUE SOLACE HOPEFULLY NEXT WEEK BYE