Practice is canceled today, but that doesn't mean I get a break. In fact, my stomach is a fluttery tangle of nerves and nausea; it's the first game I've felt confident enough to cheer for, so it's my debut as a cheerleader. Despite the fact that I sort of want to spend all afternoon rehearsing the routine to make sure I don't screw up tonight, when Kary drops by my locker after school and asks if I have any plans, I find myself asking her if she wants to go to the soccer game with me.
She thinks about it for a second. "Is this about a boy?" She finally asks, piercing me with her stare.
I hesitate, but then I remember that she doesn't know about the fight we had before the dance. On the one hand, I'm almost relieved, since I can't stand to feel on the outs with her, but on the other hand, I wish I had somebody I could confide in. I swallow nervously. I consider lying to her, telling her that no, I've just suddenly developed an interest in sports and school spirit, but then I nod. "Rakesh. You know him, right?"
She nods thoughtfully, considering something. "He's not too awful," she finally concedes. "I mean, if you have to like somebody, at least he's nice."
Even though it's not a ringing endorsement, I hug my backpack to my chest sappily and sigh. "And cute," I say, remembering the gold flecks in his eyes and the way his smile makes my heart do somersaults.
Kary snorts derisively, but she doesn't comment, and we walk to the soccer field behind the school together. I recognize most of the players on our team, boys I've seen in the halls, but my eyes skim over them, looking for one in particular. I don't see him on the field, and my heart drops. "Maybe he's not playing," I say, scanning the bench.
Kary taps my shoulder. "Look in the net."
I swing my eyes where she's pointing, and a sappy grin breaks over my face as I recognize Rakesh at the other end of the field, bouncing on his toes in his bright colored long-sleeve jersey. "He's the goalie!"
"Obviously, Lana." Kary shades her eyes against the sun. "Do you want to sit down near that end of the field, so you can see him better?"
I'm surprised; she's seemed neutral at best about anything girly, especially my crush, but then I give her a quick hug. She may not be interested, I realize, but at least she's a good enough friend to pretend. "You don't think that's too stalkerish?"
She laughs. "Just being here is sort of stalkerish, don't you think?"
"He invited me," I say defensively, and Kary just shakes her head. Still, she doesn't tease me as we walk down the field and plop on the grass as close to the goal as I dare to get without looking completely obvious. I don't know if Rakesh notices us; his eyes are on the game that's starting, and as much as I sort of want to just sit there and stare at him like he's a male model or something, I get sucked into the game. The ball is moving fast and furious across the field, and our team is clearly playing to win. When the other side takes a long shot at the goal and Rakesh dives for it, blocking it just before it slips into the net, I cheer as loud as anybody else, and Kary even whistles beside me.
Rakesh looks up at the sound, and his eyes lock on mine. With a big smile, he gives me a theatrical wink as he tosses the ball into the air and head butts it back onto the field. I flush, wondering if anyone else notices that he's singling me out.
"You've got it bad," Kary observes, picking at a blade of grass beside her. "How long has this been going on?"
"Since before the dance, I guess," I say without thinking. Kary tenses beside me, and I realize my mistake; there wasn't any dance, at least not as far as she's concerned. I open my mouth to cover up what I just said, but something in my friend's face stops me.
She clenches her jaw and looks away quickly, but not before I realize that her expression doesn't look confused...it looks guilty. I stare at her intently for a minute, but she's suddenly interested in something way off on the horizon. I glance that way, but all I see are trees, and, over the tops of them, the familiar skyline of the city.
"Kary," I say slowly, "you know about the dance, don't you?"
She doesn't look at me, but she doesn't deny it, and the wheels start turning faster and faster in my brain. Everyone else seems to have a different set of memories from me, but Kary isn't acting brainwashed. I stare at her, a bizarre thought taking hold of my mind. It's not possible...is it? I mean, one goddess at this school is plenty...right?
As if she can hear my thoughts, Kary turns back toward me, her expression resigned. "I didn't want you to find out," she says softly.
I scooch away from her on the grass. "What...who are you?"
She rolls her eyes. "Who do you think?"
I sift through the stories I vaguely remember from Greek mythology. There's something about a girl with a dog, isn't there? I gasp as it dawns on me. "You're, what, Diana?"
She snorts. "Please. I have nothing in common with her; I don't know why people continue to insist that we're the same." She pauses, waiting for me to supply the answer, but my mind is blank, and Kary sighs. "Can we not talk about this here?"
I lean closer to her, dropping my voice to a whisper. "If you're not human, don't you think I have a right to know?"
Her eyes turn steely. "What makes you say that?"
"We're friends," I say, suddenly wondering if we really are. "Friends tell each other things."
"Like you told me about your golden apple?"
I stare at her in surprise. "I thought...I didn't think you'd believe me. Hell, I hardly believe me."
She stares at me for a long moment. "A mortal might not have believed you, but I know what goes on in this school. You should have trusted me."
"It, like, just happened. And how was I supposed to know that you're not what you seem?" I realize I've raised my voice, so I drop my next words to a whisper. "Especially if you won't tell me who...what you really are."
She glares at me, but I glare right back at her, beyond caring that I might be pissing off some primordial being or something. Finally, Kary stands up, and I scramble to my feet. "I'll show you, but not in front of all these people."
She takes off across the lawn, and I want to throttle her. She knows I can't run in this cast. I glance back at the field, hoping I can catch Rakesh's eye before I leave, but his attention is laser focused on the game. For a second, I vacillate, but curiosity trumps my need to flirt, and I leave the soccer field behind, heading after Kary. She disappears around the edge of the school, and I begin to slow down, considering. My intense curiosity is suddenly warring with my instincts, and I wonder if it's a good idea to be alone with whatever kind of creature Kary is.
You've been alone with her before, you idiot, I remind myself. Making my decision, I hurry around the corner of the building, but I stop in my tracks when I spot the figure waiting for me.
She's Kary, but she's...not. Blue light surrounds her, sort of like moonlight, but it's still a bright, sunny fall day around us. Kary's normal clothes have been replaced by a simple belted tunic and sandals that lace up her legs, like something out of a movie about gladiators or something. In her left hand, she's holding a huge silver bow, and a quiver of arrows peeks out over her right shoulder, strapped across her back with a finely decorated leather strap. I swallow nervously.
"I thought you said you weren't Diana," I ask.
She narrows her eyes. "Artemis. Why does everyone remember that goddess's name, but no one seems to remember mine?"
I shrug, hoping she's not actually mad at me. She sounds more exasperated than anything, but the bow in her hand makes me nervous; if I piss her off, would she hurt me?
Kary shakes her head, and just like that, she looks like my friend again. I blink a few times, but it takes a minute for the eerie blue glow to fade completely. "Now you know," she finally says, facing me without expression.
I nod, sorting through my thoughts. "Is that why you didn't want to go into Cypri...Aphrodite's shop this summer?"
She makes a face. "Aphrodite and I have never really seen eye to eye on most things. I didn't want to risk pissing her off on her own turf."
"And that's why you didn't want me to go out for the cheer team," I say slowly, the pieces clicking into place.
"You could be so much more than a fake Barbie," Kary says, her eyes flashing. "I knew as soon as we met that you're like me; you don't care what other people think."
I hesitate. I do care, actually, and I've finally begun to admit that to myself, but now doesn't seem the time for me to say this to Kary. Instead, I just shrug. "I like cheer," I say simply, "and I'm not going to quit now."
"Even if I told you that I could fix your foot?"
I stare at her for a moment, shocked into angry, frightened silence. Has this whole year been a lie? "If that's true, why didn't you do it before?" I blurt.
She shrugs, and for a second, her appearance shimmers, and I wonder if she's about to break out her goddess clothes again, but she solidifies and looks normal. "You weren't supposed to know about us, but now that you do, I might as well help."
"But..." I pause, gathering my thoughts. "But I'm cheering at the game tonight. Can I still do that if you fix my foot?"
She sighs and leans against the side of the school. "It doesn't work that way. You either want my help or not; you don't get to set the terms." I must look as skeptical as I feel, because she rolls her eyes. "It's magic, Lana, not a negotiation."
I think back to the golden apple I won at the dance, and how quickly Aphrodite was able to fix things for me, but then I remember the awkwardness I've been feeling with Rakesh, remembering our almost kiss on the dance floor that he'll never know about. "I really want to be able to run again," I say carefully, deliberately not mentioning cheer, "but if I let you help me, it won't be like the dance, right? People won't lose their memories or anything?"
Kary shakes her head. "I can't tell you what it'll be like, but I don't mess with people's memories, no matter what."
I exhale sharply. This might not be too bad, I realize. "Would I have to miss the game tonight?"
Her face darkens. "You think Aphrodite can help you more than me?"
"No, that's not what I meant! I just," I struggle with my thoughts, trying to find words that the goddess who's sort of my best friend will understand. "I really like the girls on the team. They aren't Barbies," I say quickly, stopping her before she can speak. "They're different, and funny, and they've been really nice to me, even with my cast."
Kary rolls her eyes. "If that goddess singled them out, I can't believe they're good people."
"But they are," I say stubbornly, even though I'm aware that I might be about to lose my chance to get better. "They're my friends, too. You were my first friend here," I say, speaking faster and taking a step closer, "but I can have more than one friend, right?"
She's silent, and I wonder if she's considering my words. Or considering the best way to incinerate me, I think, clamping down the fear that swells in my chest at the idea of Kary lashing out at me with that bow and arrow. Finally, she closes her eyes, and when she looks at me again, all vestiges of the goddess are gone, and she's just Kary, snarky Kary, with her knowing eyes and her half smile.
"What do you want, Lana? What do you really want?"
What do I want? I want to kick off my cast and run like I used to, and I want to cheer tonight without any hint of my injury. And I want to dance with Rakesh for real when I'm not clumping around like a robot, I think wryly. But I'm not sure if Kary will help me if she knows all that, especially about cheer. "I want to get better," I say, choosing my words with care, "so I can get back to doing what I really want." Sure, I want to run, but I also really want to see what I am capable of when it comes to cheer. I don't think telling Kary all of that is the best idea, though, and I hold my breath, hoping she can't somehow read my thoughts.
She nods thoughtfully. "My magic is best at night," she says after a long pause, squinting up at the sky. "If you can wait, I'll fix everything once the moon is up."
Impulsively, I hug her, but then I pull back my hands as if I've been burned. "Um, is it okay to do that, your goddessness?" I stumble over the words, and Kary snorts.
"Seriously, Lana, you are so weird. It's not like anything has changed." Her gaze holds mine, her stare challenging me to contradict her.
I take a deep breath and link my arm through hers. "No, I guess not," I say, forcing myself not to flinch from the contact. "Everything's just like it was when we met."