"The winners for prom king and queen are . . ."
The crowd waits anxiously as Jennie grabs my hand a little too tight. "I hope we win!" She says against my ear.
"Jennie and Jimin!"
The crowd starts cheering loudly. Jennie squeals excitedly leading me to the stage.
The girl puts a crown on the both of us. There's a bright light shining and it's making my eyes irritated.
I'm a little tipsy and I can tell Jennie is too. "Would you like to say a few things?" The girl asks holding out the microphone.
Jennie takes it and steps up. She almost falls, but I come behind her straightening her up. She's definitely tipsy.
"Hello everyone!" Jennie says. "I just want to thank for all of those who voted for us. We clearly deserved to win I mean look at us."
"I know a few of you didn't want to see us win," Jennie continues. She looks directly at Yoonji who's standing next to Yugyeom.
"I understand you're jealous because he picked me over you. Just accept it! Not even if you try to copy me—"
"Jennie stop." I say pulling her away from the microphone. "You sound drunk." I whisper grabbing her arm.
The crowd is looking at each other trying to figure out who she was talking about. A few are already staring at, Yoonji.
"Oh well okay, that was umm . . . let's give a round of applause for our prom king and queen!"
There's loud applauses and cheering. I grab Jennie's hand and begin walking down the stage before Jennie says another stupid thing.
"Stop it Jimin! I was in the middle of my speech and you didn't even let me finish putting that girl in her place!"
"You're saying nonsense, Jennie! Just stop talking or else everyone's going to know we snuck alcohol in."
"I'll take her to the bathroom so she can wash up." Rose says.
"Yeah go ahead." I say letting Jennie go.
"Fine! I'm not even drunk, but whatever. Let's get some fruit punch, Rose." Jennie says walking away from me.
This night is getting worse by the second. I walk over to the food section to get some snacks before Jennie returns.
The liquor in my empty stomach really got to me. My alcohol resistance isn't the best although I always like to say it is.
My watch lights on and I finally look at the time. It's about to be 10 p.m. and Jennie has been gone for a while now.
I look around the room and see most people are dancing. Jennie's friends are in the dancing crowd, but not her.
I try to look for Rose, but she's not around either. In the crowd I spot Yugyeom talking to some of his friends. Yoonji isn't with him though.
Suddenly, I start feeling panicky. So I walk towards the bathrooms hoping Jennie and Rose are in there and not tormenting, Yoonji.
As I'm walking down the bathroom hall I spot Yoonji scrubbing her dress dramatically. "Yoonji?"
She looks up surprised but immediately looks back down. As I approach her she starts walking away quickly.
Before she walks away I reach to grab her turning her to face me. That's when I see a big red stain on her dress.
The first thing that comes to mind is Jennie. "It was Jennie wasn't it?"
Yoonji stays silent clenching the paper towels in her hands. "It had to be her. Where is she?" I ask.
Yoonji shrugs.
"Hey, I —"
Yoonji stops listening to me and walks towards the exit door. I follow her behind to the balcony and the door shuts leaving us both outside.
The moon is high in the sky and the wind is warm. The music is still loud from inside the building.
I'm feeling a bit lightheaded from the drinks I had although I try to shake it away.
Yoonji is staring ahead the soft wind making her hair messy all over the place.
A strand of hair gets stuck on her lips and I have the urge to pull it away from her lip, but I don't. All I do is admire her side profile from where I'm standing.
We're so close yet feel so far apart. It's a weird feeling. As I look closer I see a tear fall from her eyes.
"Why're you crying?" I ask quietly.
She doesn't respond instead she starts sobbing. A nauseous gut feeling hits me. My throat gets tight from the sight.
"Yoonji." I whisper softly.
"Why did you tell her to wear yellow to prom? You knew I wanted that color for us." She says in between cries.
She still hasn't faced me instead she keeps looking ahead. "I — I don't know. I didn't think you'd come."
"It's not even about the dress, Jimin. Or the fact that your new girlfriend spilled fruit punch on me. Those things are material and don't matter. It's about the feelings and the pain. I can't ever wash that off." She says her chin quivering.
"I . . ."
No words leave my mouth. All I can do is stare at her falling apart in front of my face and not being able to do a single thing about it.
"I know you don't care about me like I care for you, but that gives you no right to treat me the way you're treating me right now. I get that you're angry and that you're hurt because I hid the truth from you. You didn't even let me explain, you didn't let me tell you what's happening. I feel so broken inside because I actually fell for you. I believed your feelings for me were real and it's hard to accept the fact that they're not. I don't understand how you moved on so quickly. I know you don't like me, but how come you moved right on like you didn't hurt me? I can't let you go. I might've came to prom with Yugyeom, but all I've been doing all night is looking at Jennie and you and wishing I was her."
She looks down and continues sobbing. I slowly reach to grab her shoulder making her look at me.
"Why can't you love me the way I am, Jimin? Why can't you accept me? I wish I was a girl, I really do, but I'm not. I'm a failure and an embarrassment to society like many people have told me."
A tear escapes my eye as I pull her in for a hug. She immediately wraps her arms around me so needy for love.
Her sobs are aching me everywhere. "I feel so lonely, Jimin. Do you know how hard it is to feel so alone? I have my brother and my grandma who both care and love me so much yet I feel alone all the time. It's weighing me down and I constantly feel like I'm struggling to even breath. I hate going through this emotional roller coaster alone. As much as my brother and grandma try to understand me they never will because they're normal and I'm not. I'm just a mistake and I shouldn't even be alive. Why did God create me so fucked up? Why can't I just be normal?"
"Yoonji don't— don't say that. I — I want you to be alive. I'm glad you're alive."
She pulls away from my grip her mascara running down her face. "But you're killing me with your attitude and your rejection. Just don't reject me anymore, Jimin. I promise I'll do whatever you want just come back to me please. Just kiss me one more time, please. Hold me like you use to because I hate myself so much. I'm begging you stay in my life. Don't leave me, please don't leave me behind."
I caress her cheek wiping her tears as they fall. "Yoonji, I — I can't be with you. It's so hard to explain, but I can't give you what you need. I'm so confused right now and I know I'm hurting you, but trust me I'm hurting too. This is so much harder for me. I'm a burden in your life and I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"You're hurting me by staying away." She whispers her chin starting to quiver again.
I lean in to press my forehead against hers my hand wrapped around her hair. Her familiar scent hits me making me feel at home.
She impulsively presses her lips on mine without warning. My body responds to the kiss naturally.
I don't realize how much I've missed her until I'm hugging her tighter to pull her closer to me. In the middle of the kiss she starts crying again and I pull away slowly.
"We're better off apart," I breathe. "It's better for us both. I don't want you to feel this way anymore, but trust me if you're with me you'll always feel that way. It's better for us both."
As the words leave my mouth I feel a sudden sharp pain spread throughout my chest. There's no words to describe how unbelievably broken my heart feels.