"A strong force inside of me urges me towards the madness, but the goodness of my heart traps me here. The force compares to a shadow lurking viciously behind my light, just waiting for me to stumble, waiting for me to dim. That's when it attacks; that's when it floods my vision so I'm seeing stars and darkness. My world blurs, but then a certain something shines through and helps me see again. I need it to stop. I need to find a way to end this infinite insanity in my mind." – Selene
"The first night I met it... I was afraid. It was so novel, so profound. I didn't expect the force to be so controlling. How could the goddess before me hold such a strong energy inside of her for so long without it tearing her apart. With one single touch, it destroyed me bit by bit, and, yet, somehow, I didn't fight its shuddering beauty; I accepted it wholeheartedly. But, then he emerged from the abyss of risks as my calamitous savior." - Aega
"He was a drug and I was an addict, getting high off of him every single chance I got. I breathed in his enticing smoke, letting it fill my lungs only to slowly bitter them. And, when I was at my end, when my lungs were slowly crumbling into ash, I took another hit of him because he was all I knew anymore." – Luna
My fingers trembled as I took the pen in my hands. It was now my turn to write a paragraph of prose on this worn page in the journal, my journal. But, what would I say? How would I say it? How could I explain the struggle of the force? How would I admit my truths even when they were the worst parts of me?
Should I warn the generations of Moon Goddesses to come of my failure or of my weaknesses or of the evil force that laid within us all at one point. It has become too much. There has been too much pain and suffering for one person.
If I were to read this when I rose to power, I would not understand the words of Selene, but now I do. I understand the madness; I understand the force; I understand the world she saw every time her lids fluttered closed.
If I were to read this when I met it, I would not understand the words of Aega, but now I do. I understand its shuttering and enticing beauty; I understand how easily it crawled under her skin and inched its way into her mind, tainting it; I understand how she could accept it wholeheartedly.
If I were to read this when I met him, I would not understand the words of Luna, my mother, but now I do. I understand how effortlessly a man could make me feel; I understand how enticing a mate could be; I understand how my world could crumble to ash and I still want more of him.
Taking a deep breath, I steadied my hand and stared down at the page. My pen pressed into the paper and I knew, deep in my heart, that I needed to pour my soul into this, just as the previous goddesses have done. Once I finished my words would be sealed, my soul would be attached, I would become transparent to the future.
"They say that pain is weakness leaving the body, but I still feel it... long after the pain is gone... I still feel the weakness inside of me. It's crawling around, gnawing at my insides. I knew I shouldn't have gave it my all; I shouldn't have given him all the pieces of me, but we fit so perfectly. So damn perfectly. I should have understood the damages of the force, the connection, the pull, but I ignored the signs. And, now, here I am; so broken and lonely." -Mae
Tears welled up in my eyes as my pen lifted mere spaces off of the sheet.
It was all true.
Every single word I wrote. I wished it to be wrong, since the moment I had the vision. I wished that I listened to his quiet warnings. Now, I was broken and alone.
A single tear slid down my cheek, leaving a searing pain on my flesh.
Why was it true?
I was hurting so damn bad.
Deep, ragged breaths escaped my throat as I shot up in the bed. My heart raced in my chest, thrashing against my rib cage as if it was tearing it apart. Pains split through the sides of my body – my thighs, my abs, my back. Everywhere.
I furrowed my eyebrows trying to rid myself of the headache that was pounding against my forehead.
Were these pains from my vision? What... what even was that? What was the force? Could it be a mate pull or a mate connection? I didn't know.
As I pushed myself off of the bed, I immediately fell back on it, clutching my stomach. Another pain, crashing through me.
It wasn't nearly as bad as the pain of the Ascension, but it definitely wasn't one that I could tolerate without becoming a little woozy. I pulled myself back up the bed, leaning my body against the headboard.
Another pain pierced through my thigh, nearly paralyzing my leg for a moment. Taking a deep breath, I tried to stand once more, grabbing onto the bed post. My legs shook violently, yet I stood with help.
The sun was blazing into the room through the curtains and I pushed my hand in front of my face to try to ease the pain. A sharp pain scrapped the side of my face.
I glanced around the room, trying to ignore it. "Damon!" I cried out. "Damon?"
After a few moments of silence, I sighed. I doubted this pain was the result of my vision...
Please don't tell me Luca and Damon were in another battle. Please don't let it be true.
I hobbled to the window, pushing the blinds open and peering out of it. The backyard was completely empty beside three guards walking around the house. With a sharp inhale of breath, I studied the frantic and stern expressions of the men.
Damon significantly reduced the number of guards around the house, which could definitely mean there was another battle taking place.
A sharper pain pierced right through my heart.
"Mae, they are in battle once more," Valerio rang through my head.
"I know..." I said, sighing.
"Are you okay? You sound like you're in pain."
"I'm fine." No. I felt like I was dying, but I didn't need him worrying about me right now. We had other problems.
Why'd Luca have to attack Damon when two pups from his pack are gone and his beta is no longer a beta? Because Damon's weak and vulnerable. That's why.
Something about Luca is getting on my goddamn nerves. Does he have no sympathy?
I walked to the door, grasping onto the handle as pain pierced through my body.
"Valerio. Meet me in the forest behind Damon's pack house," I ordered. As I walked through the hallway, I grasped onto the walls, trying to steady myself.
This would be so much easier if I just teleported. I closed my eyes, thinking about the trees in Damon's back yard. Pain. The smell of oak. Pain. The sound of paws hitting the groun- Pain. Leaping into the air, my toes landed on the hardwood floor of the hallway.
Fuck. Why couldn't I teleport?
Pain seared through me, but I tried ignoring it and the fact that I couldn't use my most useful power right now. I continued down the hallway, trying to straighten my posture as I heard the little pups running around the rooms. I didn't want them to see me like this.
Once I finally made it to the forest, I stumbled to the trees. Valerio peaked his head out behind one as he pulled on some shorts. His eyebrows furrowed. "You are in pain."
I clenched my jaw. "No. I'm not."
He cocked a brow. "Why didn't you teleport over here then?"
"Because," I said through clenched teeth.
"Okay... well, to update you. We still do not have any leads on Alexandra or Samuel. I've replaced the spy that was here with Nakida, so she is now here watching the pack, making sure things are going as they should be. What do you want to do next?"
"I think we shou-" I dug my nails into my palms deep enough to draw blood as another pain pulsed through my neck. Squeezing my eyes closed, my head fell. "Fuck..." I stumbled forward.
Before I could fall, Valerio wrapped his arm around me, holding me up. His hand squeezed the side of my hip and he placed my arm around his neck. "Sit," he ordered, leaning down so our bottoms were both grazing the ground.
After the pain washed away, I took a deep breath. "We should have a meeting. Bring everyone together to think up a plan, to bounce ideas off of one another. Maybe, we'll be able to think something up."
Valerio nodded his head, a grimace on his face.
Without warning, I stood and began walking through the forest towards the battle, following the scent of iron. "Mae!" Valerio called out. "Where are you going? You should rest."
"No. I'm done resting."
When another pain cut through me, I stumbled forward but caught myself and continued. Valerio jogged up next to me, placing a hand on my lower back, but I tugged away from him. Angry.
Why was this affecting me so much? I guess this is what I get for asking Damon to not hold back. Now, I was suffering. But, I rather take the suffering instead of him taking it. He's taken too much.
Not only was in pain, but I was annoyed too. If Luca didn't mark me, I wouldn't be feeling this way. If he hadn't marked me just to get at Damon, I wouldn't be hurting. But, he didn't mark me to get at Damon. That's what he told me.
A growl escaped my lips as I approached the scene. I was so fucking angry and annoyed at being angry and annoyed. And, on top of that I was confused. Too damn confused. Should I trust Luca? Should I not? Should I intervene? Should I let them slowly kill each other?
A breath forced itself out of my nose. Of course, I shouldn't let them kill each other.
My eyes scanned the bloodied forest for the two wolves. The sound of vicious growls and painful howls rung through my ears. They were all moving so fast I could hardly see them. But, the ones laying on the ground, most of those ones were a part of Damon's pack. Even though there were a fair number of wolves from Richard's pack, Damon had definitely lost more.
Suddenly, three large wolves leapt through the air. Damon's brown wolf growled viciously at a cut up and beaten Luca and Richard. Had he been fighting them both by himself? He had a few cuts and open wounds on him, but nothing compared to Luca.
I watched Damon lunged forward, latching his canines into Luca's throat. A pain pierced through my throat as well. He took him in his teeth throwing him around effortlessly. But, then Richard lunged at Damon and scratched him in his underbelly. I clutched my stomach, feeling the pain, and nearly fell over.
Again, Valerio wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me up.
A growl rumbled from my throat, loud enough to silence and stop all of the wolves in the forest. My growl echoed throughout the bloodied mess and all three wolves parted from each other. Damon and Luca's eyes were wide, yet Richard's were trained on me. I stormed over to them.
Why did they just have to fight right now? We had pups missing, yet all they, especially Luca, could think about was hurting Damon.
As I approached, Richard growled and bared his teeth at me. Luca and Damon turned to him, both letting out a growl of their own and his tail fell between his legs, a small whimper coming from his throat, small enough to where I wouldn't even be able to hear it if I wasn't paying attention.
"Shift. Now," I demanded. After a few moments, they all shifted. I glared at Luca. "Why do you insist on hurting Damon when there are pups missing from his pack?" I crossed my hands over my chest.
"Damon's pack is his own problem," Richard butted in.
I turned to him, throwing him a deep glare. "Shut your mouth. I'm not talking to you. I'll deal with you later." My glare drifted back to Luca. "If you defeat Damon, this will be your pack, so this is your problem too, Luca."
Luca gulped, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. "I didn't know a pup was taken."
"Pups," Valerio corrected, taking a few steps closer to Luca. "You're sure your ex-mate didn't tell you about it? She's the one that's been taking them."
His eyes widened. "Alexandra is the one who has been taking the pups?" He gazed at me in shock.
"Her and Samuel are gone and so are the pups. Samuel attacked a young male here and Alexandra killed a pup."
Luca ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. "Shit," he breathed out.
"That has nothing to do with-" Richard began.
"Shut the fuck up," Luca growled, throwing him a glare.
My gaze drifted between Damon and Luca. "We need to meet with you both."
"Richard?"Valerio asked through the mind link.
"Mind link Aaisha. Tell her to meet at our pack house. I think she'd be a better person to talk with than Richard. It seems as if he hates me right now."
"What about me?" Richard asked.
I stormed up to him, staring him right in the eye. I was angry that him and Aaisha have been fighting. Aaisha deserves the world and not someone who will fight with her because she lost a baby. I wondered if Richard even cared about Aaisha when she was dealing with the loss of her baby. Did he comfort her when she was feeling the baby dying within her? Did he help her through the pain and loss? Did he do any of that? Or, was he too hung up on the fact that I let the baby die even though I could do nothing to help it survive?
Either way, I wanted to make sure that he knew never to treat Aaisha lesser than she deserved.
"Listen to me for once Richard. If you ever, ever, hurt Aaisha or treat her less than she deserves, I will personally make sure you feel ever single ounce of pain she's ever been in. And despite your alpha status, you would not be able to handle it. She is stronger than you'll ever be. Treat her with respect. Worship her. She deserves no less."
Richard's lips parted as his eyes widened. And, I turned on my heel, walking away from him.
A/N
Hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :)
What do you think of Mae's vision?
Luca attacking Damon's pack again?
Mae confronting Richard?
Also ----- I will try to post a new chapter of Next-Door Incubus this weekend but exams are killing me at the moment
Predictions?
Warmly, Destiny <3
Ps. Your messages are so sweet. I read all of them <3