Roaming around with heavy pants at the street while looking for Jimin isn't that easy. I don't have anything but my eyes and feet. Not even a single clue.
Right at this moment, I keep having thoughts and regrets. If Jimin disappears, what did I've done? I thought, I've never been that good to him. I've never thank him for small things he have done. He is also the reason why I keep improving my everyday reasons.
I've never cared to anyone. I've never helped someone, Never I have ever bring someone inside my room and tidy them up. I've never give someone nameless a name.
Jimin isn't from my regrets to my girlfriend; nor to be felt better about my ex so I did good to the Jimin I know today.
Park Jimin. That common name that keeps repeating in my head since middle school.
My mom told me when I was five, I keep telling mom something about that a person. She can't remember the name neither do I.
I explained his appearance in a weird way. Super fictional that noone would be able to identify if I'm talking real or not. She thought it could have been just my imaginary friend and shrug it off since it stopped when I turned 10.
After four years when it was my last year as senior, I felt attracted to a girl named Park Jimin. She's ordinary, very nice and cute. I felt a strong connection to her when I heard her name. I'm not regretting that I broke with her. But I felt bad since she is innocent, she has nothing to do with my shitty life.
The reason why I named him Jimin is because he is Jimin. He's that person who keeps appearing in my dream every night when I turned 15, he's that magical creature who appeared before my eyes when I was five. He's the reason why I liked that innocent girl.
Because he owns that name in my mind. He's that person in my previous life who had appeared to be mine. It's his name who made me shivers in a good way.
It's him who made me feel happy, excited, sad and fluttered. He makes me worried.
Yeah, right. I like him.
The reason I got angry by the time he asked me to stay with him when he become a human is because...
He trusted somebody other than me. I.. felt jealous. To add more on that, I neglected it and acted it's disgusting.
I just want him to stay as who really is. Trust only me, look only at me and tell his worries only to me.
Now, who would do that..?
It's getting late. I can't even find a single clue. Until I realize what Taehyung said earlier.
He could have gone hiding without any human since he's been turning into a human. His tails would have been seen, so his instinct tells him to hide.
I am going to be as desperate as I am from the past looking for him. Or, it could be my last chance today.
As I keep wandering, I didn't realize people are bumping onto my shoulders. As I go far, the number of night people increases.
He could have been just in the darker streets. Then, in the abandon buildings or houses?
Abandon houses are surely rare in Seoul. He surely in an on-work building or an abandoned one.
Walking and running, wandering and feeling hopeless is just the only thing that is making me curse in the street.
Happy? I looked up to dark sky filled of stars. I don't care if someone sees me but..
"Look how many stars in there.. happy? Are you satisfied? Lord Jin? Sure. Great. I know I have been a sinner. But don't you think this is too much?!" I shouted. "I realized it now! Alright?! Now show me where is Jimin right at this moment!"
People looked at me with eyes full of judgement. I don't care about it now. What's more important is Jimin. His safety. Because..
"I like him.." I mumbled. "I said... I love him!!!!!" I shouted in the street when suddenly a blue light appeared infront of my flustered face.
It is everywhere. While people notices it too and gives them the attention. They took photos of it as they mistake it as different type of a firefly.
But I know it's not. It's Jimin. It's him. When I came to that conclusion I ran off already and followed the lights. I know it's him. It's that light that will scattered around him when I first saw him.
While running I realized how happy I was to finally found out a single clue heading to a place where Jimin is.
Sooner, the dust lights led me to an abandon building and just filled of those dust light who had brought me here and they became the light through my way.
I entered the building and lights was headed up to the second floor. There's a non-working escalators before the entrance of the building to be able to get on the second floor. This could have been a mall for some time.
I looked everywhere to see if anyone other than me could be here as I step on the escalator gently. But noone or even a noise is created from any floor other than mine.
When I reach the floor, I looked everywhere before spotting Jimin on his back, laying at the ground. I am shock to find him here in this state but I'm very glad to see him.
He had only 3 tails left and his natural form looked so weak. Even his lights looks dull.
"Jimin!" I shouted as I ran where he is.
Jimin slowly tries to get up as soon as he heard me but he failed.
Fuck Taehyung.
"Stop trying. I'll be here." I sat down as soon as I reach him. I lay his head on to my lap to see his condition.
He looks much more pale than he already is. He looks weak, unlike the bright Jimin who would be there to cheer me.
"Jimin...." "I'm sorry.." I feel like crying for him with this situation.
He looks confuse when he saw me. "Jungkook...?" He tried to reach for my face with his finger.
"It's me, stupid.."
Then, he smiled. "I know. I'm just..." He bite his lowerlip hard to endure the pain he just felt.
"Jimin-ah!!!!!!"
"I'm okay.. what are you-" "AH!" He flinched as he felt his body hurts. "What are you doing here?" He asks with his weak voice.
"Are you this stupid to trust anybody?!"
He stayed quiet.
"I'm sorry. This is all my fault." I added.
"It's not your fault." He replied with a smile.
"You crazyass, how can you smile at this situation.. Get up, let's find a solution to this." I tried getting him up but he refused.
"It's my fault. And just atleast one time, let me do something for you." Jimin insist.
"W-what are you saying?"
"I know everything. It's my fault to fall for such trap. But.."
"We will find a cure for this!!!" I insist.
"Thank you for taking care of me. And for giving me a name without any condition.. I don't remember anything and I can't understand what Lord Jin meant this way. But I'm happy to be part of this, Jungkook. For a short time, you made me realize things, you made learn about humans and you made me felt like I'm part of this world."
"Jimin.. don't be like this. Whatever that old man told you, don't believe him. I know it's him who made you like this!!!" I replied.
Right at this moment, one thing is sure. I want him by my side. I know it's cringe since I've never speak like this to anyone and have thoughts loke this but... he made me feel this way.
"It's not his fault.. it's my fault.. If only I didn't exist, if only you didn't met me then such emotions wouldn't have been formed..."
"You stupid fox!!! I know you. I remember you. I don't know why, but what am I feeling right now is exactly what I felt when you appeared in my dreams. It's the exact reason I got interested taking you in and being confuse as hell! Your existence is my existence and your disappearance would be the cause of my pain!" I cried out in sadness as suddenly felt.
As soon as I felt a drop of my tear through my cheeks down to his' a sudden memory pops up in my mind.
It's like during Joseon, when someone I love was got shot by millions of an arrows trying to get me out of a place. They threatened him like a cursed animal and never gave justice.
"Strike him down!!!!" People shouted as they started hitting someone with arrows. The gumiho make his way out to me even though he is getting blood everywhere.
But I can't do anything about but watch him. Since it's an order from my father. And I'm.... locked up in a carriage where I could see how they will strike him. My father have abandoned me for being different. He thought I was bewitched by a gumiho.
"Jimin!!!!!!"
Jimin didn't hear me. And so continue fighting anyone who would stop him. But he never kill them.. Because that's why I taught him.
"Scholaaaar!" I heard Jimin's shout as he keep trying to reach me.
And so I break the wooden cage even if I get my feet worn out and bleed. Noone has notice since they are all focus to Jimin. I took a sword out of a dozing soldier.
And so I fought with Jimin. I killed everyone and Jimin is flustered to see me.
"Scholar! Let me take you-"
"No. You should start hurting them now. It's the only way to give them warning."
"But-"
"Go!"
Everyone looks frightened when Jimin slit one human's neck. And we continued fighting.
Someone had told father about the situation and came out. He told everyone to stopped and everyone did then he exclaimed, "Get my son and kill the beast. Strike the heart. It's the only way to kill that monster and free my son from his magic."
One man at arms gets his bows and arrows ready to strike his heart as he obeys my father's order.
As soon as I saw him triggered the string, I tried to protect Jimin with my body and the arrow went straight to mine.
That moment I can't hear anything and fell down on my knees before I felt my body breakdown.
Only I can see right now is Jimin's bloody face and body. He is crying but I hope he's not. "I'll.. see you.. again.. someday.. And live happily with a name I gave you...." And my eyes went black out.
But before I could get out this memory, strangely another picture of what happened after that appeared.
Jimin shouted as he revealed his true form with his tails and ears; claws and his beautiful dust fairies. His eyes turned green and his hair turned white. His eyes were full of sorrow that he doesn't even care about humans hurting him anymore.
'This is hopeless without you. If this is our destiny, then I won't let this happen again. Let's not meet again. I'm sorry. And even if we do, I hope I wouldn't remember you. Let's not cross paths again. But, remember. I'll always loved you.' Jimin took out the the arrow from my chest and striked his own heart.
And then I was freed from the memory with more tears falling down.
"Jungkook!!!!" Jimin shouted and then coughs as he felt a huge pain at his body and lift his hips.
I got startled and witness him losing his last tail. "Shit." How long was I paused? This shouldn't be happening.
"It's o-kay..." He insist to take I sit and I helped him up.
I sniffed and hugged him tight suddenly.
"Jungkook. I don't know what happened to you and you suddenly slept on your sit. But.. I'm fine. I'm just worried about you." He caresses my back.
"Why are you so stupid?" "Why you keep taking it that way?" I looked at him and realize he is slowly disappearing.
I was flustered. And I'm feeling the same thing as I did from my memory.
"I guess this is going to be the last time I'll see you." He smiled weakly.
I hold his hand tightly and looked at him. "Jimin, remember only this.. I won't let anyone stop this meeting. This wouldn't be the last time. Next time we see each other, remember the first time we met and forget sorrowful memories. Okay?"
"I don't get it but alright I will... Jungkook.." He suddenly cried infront of me. "I'm honestly.. scared.."
I hugged him again and ruffles his hair. "I told you let's find a cure.."
"No. It's too late. And if I didn't disappear today, not only you would be punish but everyone who is included in our meeting." He replied.
I didn't say anything but took a deep breathe to stop myself from crying. Jimin notices it and so he caress my cheeks. "I.. love you..."
I cupped his small hands with mine on my cheeks. And I felt something that I can't ignore. I suddenly grab Jimin's lips with mine and tilts my head a little, grabbing for his nape for a passionate kiss. After that, I leaned my forehead onto his as I keep holding his hand. I don't want to let go.
"I love you too... And I will never forget all this meetings we had.."
Jimin looks flustered. It's true. He never knew what I've felt all along. Because I'm blind with my own feeling as well.
"I'll take that with me.." He smiles. "Then, I'll see you again.." He replied as he began turning into a human formed dust fairies and it all flies away with noone left in my hand.
"No..."
I was left along crying with dust fairies scattered around trying to figure out what I'll be going to do after now Jimin is gone.
And that night was ended full of loneliness, sorrowful love and regrets.
[ a/n : haloooo slide for the epiloguee ]