Chapter 9: Treacherous
"You. You. You. I want you." She shouted to his face. DJ didn't know what to say, and Kathryn took it as a rejection so she stepped back and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm not asking for you to say the same thing." She said, but she was expecting him to say the same thing. She stared at the ground and DJ just continued to stare. He was overwhelmed. He wasn't unsure. He was just overwhelmed. "I'm going back inside." She didn't wait for DJ's answer but instead ran inside. She didn't cry, if anything she felt like a thorn was removed from her chest. She would be lying if she said that DJ's lack of reply didn't hurt but telling DJ how she felt wasn't for him, it was for her. To make herself feel better.
DJ slipped his hand inside his pockets and a smile slowly crept on his face but he didn't move. He just stood there until a hand tapped his shoulder. Kathryn's mom, Mommy Min was standing behind him, smiling. He returned the smile and then she signaled him to follow her. Mommy Min walked away from the house and led him to a big hammock. She sat there and looked at DJ and then patted the space next to her. DJ was like her son even though all DJ did before was annoy her. But that's what teenage sons do, right? It was true that she liked, oh no, loved DJ for Kathryn but her love for DJ went beyond that. The then-skinny teenage boy found a way to her heart.
"You look flabbergasted, DJ." Mommy Min said. DJ shook his head. He wanted to tell her everything. He could tell her everything. Mommy Min was one of the few people that he trusted with his life but she's Kathryn's mother, and that was enough reason for him to keep his mouth shut. Mommy Min ran her hand through DJ's hair before cupping his cheeks. "I can't believe you're a proper grown-up now."
"Me too."
"I saw what happened." DJ looked at her, shocked. "I mean, no not really. I heard you. Kathryn was a bit loud, don't you think?" She tried to make a joke out of it, afraid that DJ might find her nosy but DJ was actually relieved that she knows because he wouldn't have to explain it to her.
"I didn't mean to hurt her, mom. I just didn't see that one coming."
"But you agreed to come here with her, isn't that supposed to count as something?"
DJ sighed. He couldn't understand himself either so how the hell is he supposed to explain everything to Mommy Min?
"I guess deep down, I knew. But I don't think I'm ready." He sighed. "Like, Kathryn and I will always be unfinished business. We didn't have any closure and I never knew why we broke up. I mean, I know why but..." He was rambling and it was making him uncomfortable. He looked at Mommy Min to see if she was still listening and she was. "...But I'm not really sure. And then 10 years later, I see her and it feels like this is the right time to make things right but is it really?"
He wasn't sure what to feel. Of course, he was happy that Kathryn wanted him. She didn't just needed him, she wanted him. And he's been longing to feel wanted for quite a long time. He's been waiting for 10 years for Kathryn to come back. But, they can't pick up where they left off, can they? It's not like Kathryn just went out to get tea in the middle of their make-up session or he just used the washroom to take a wee while they're watching a movie. Their situation wasn't that simple. She left in the middle of their relationship. You can say middle. They were teenagers and they had a long way to go. DJ was pretty vocal with his feelings for Kathryn and even off-camera he made sure that Kathryn felt special. She was everything he needed. He's as confused as the person reading this.
Kathryn coming back into his life was a blessing in disguise. But for what reason? Is it for them to have a proper break-up or for them to start over again? But that was the thing. Neither happened. They didn't have a closure and they didn't start over, they kind of just resumed. It sounds like a good idea at first, that's what he thought too but there were so many questions in his head and he needed some answers but he also couldn't find the voice to ask them. Maybe it would have been okay if one of them had let go, 10 years ago. It would have been better if he let her go. Then maybe, this time, life would be easier. But even though, he's already a pilot and he owns an airport now, at the back of his mind there she was. That's why his airlines is called 'BP Airlines'. No, not Bernardo-Padilla airlines. It's a little acronym for 'Baba-Pottie Airlines'.
"I'm so scared, Mommy Min. I know girls always say that and other men would have thought that it's overrated and that they're overacting but God, does it feel so horrible to be so scared all the time. I love your daughter. I've always been in love with her. I'd take her back in a snap. I'd marry her tomorrow. I'd give her the life I've been wanting to give her ever since. I will do all those, mom. But I'm so scared because what if... what if she leaves again?"
"Things are different now, honey." Her motherly instincts were kicking in, making her put her arms around DJ and rubbing his back. "Look at you, who would have thought you would be a pilot and a successful business man? And Kathryn? Who would have thought she'd have her own company and be successful as well? DJ, things change and people change."
"I know that and I keep on telling myself that..." His voice faded, unsure if he should say the thing inside his head.
"But?"
"But she left me then, she could leave me again."
Mommy Min didn't say anything else. Instead cupped DJ's cheeks and gave him a re-assuring smile. And DJ wished that he can be re-assured but nothing happened. He was still as confused as he was before.
"I really, really want to be with your daughter."
"I know, honey. I can see that."
"But not right now. I'm physically and emotionally incapable of being with her. I'm sorry, mommy. I really am."
She kissed DJ's forehead which meant she understood him. She stood up and left leaving DJ alone as he swung himself on the hammock. He wasn't really thinking and breathing, he was... floating. His head was floating and he just stared at whatever was in front of him.
"Earlier today, you asked me what I wanted. I guess, it's time for me to reciprocate the question. What do you want, DJ?" Kathryn's voice sounded like a whisper. DJ looked at her and she was smiling a little. She sat downbeside him and looked at him, waiting for an answer.
"I don't know. Like, I didn't mean to rej—" Kathryn put her finger on DJ's lips, shushing him.
"I know, I know." She smiled. A smile of understanding.
"No..." He removed Kathryn's index finger from his mouth and held on to that finger tightly. "I just want you to know that I want you too. But—" And then, the index finger was back on his lips again.
"And I want you to know that I won't let you go and I'll wait for you until you're ready."
DJ kissed her forehead and leaned a bit towards her.
"I feel like a girl." He whispered and Kathryn chuckled. "One question. Do you need someone or do you need me?"
Kathryn looked at him with feelings, "I need you."
"Okay." Their eyes met briefly for a second and then they looked straight again. DJ looked at her and ran her hands through her now, short hair. "Will you really wait for me? I promise it won't take a long."
"At this point of my life, I'll do anything for you."
"Anything?"
"Anything. Wait, hang on a sec. When I said anything, I meant anything in the sense that—"
"I know, I know." He laughed.
"What did you want me to do anyway?"
"Can you... Tell me why?" He asked.
She hesitated at first but looking at DJ's eyes, this can be the only way the can restart.
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