Song: Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara
Kierra's POV
"Hey," I whisper awkwardly as I take my guards off and step onto the ice.
"No Emily?" Alex asks.
"Nope," I say popping the p. "She's gonna be gone for the rest of the week."
"I see," Alex smirks.
"So it's just you and me," I state as Alex steps on the ice.
Parting, both of us skate easy warm-up laps and practice certain sections of our program.
I do my simple crossovers lost in a world of my own.
My mind instantly thinks of the quad axle.
Could I successfully land one?
Without thinking I take off, more force in the jump than normal as I attempt to put another revolution into the jump.
I go flying into Alex who's attempting a quad loop.
"Shit, sorry," We both say as we lay in a heap on the floor.
That's when I notice it.
His sleeve which had been previously rolled down is now pushed up to his elbow revealing dozens of scratches and cuts.
"Alex?" I ask grabbing his arm. "What's this?"
"Uh, nothing," Alex replies standing up and helping me up.
I stare at him stonily.
"What is this?" I demand.
But I already know what they are.
"I, uh fell, no uh cat you know," Alex blatantly lies.
"You're okay right?" I ask my eyes searching his.
Something so unreadable is painted across his face. Fear, mixed with hate and disgust.
Alex doesn't answer, as he breaks our gaze and stares at his blades.
"Yeah, everything's fine."
Alex's POV
Stepping on the scale I read the numbers out loud.
"120 pounds," I smile slightly satisfied.
I stare at myself in the mirror, I'm still fat, the mirror never lies.
I grab a random shirt and jeans throwing on some Vans and make my way out the door and drive to Kierra's house.
We're going out to dinner, not a date, but something about teammate bonding?
I ring the doorbell anxiously.
"Hey," Kierra says opening her door. "Let me grab my phone" She states rushing off.
Dressed in a pink flowy cold shoulder shirt and skinny jeans she's the definition of beautiful.
I watch silently as she slides her feet into black flip flops with silver rhinestones.
Walking over to the car I smile as I stare at her.
"You look beautiful," I state.
"Thanks," She laughs. "You look handsome."
Smiling to myself I open the door for her as we begin the 15-minute drive to a diner.
"And what will you have today?" A middle-aged lady asks.
I motion for Kierra to order first.
"I'll have a hamburger with fries please," Kierra states smiling gently.
The waitress nods turning back to me.
"Um, I'll just have a water," I state quickly not meeting Kierra's eyes across the table.
"You have to eat," She states firmly her eyes locked on me.
"I'm not hungry," I lie.
Kierra turns away from me and back to the waitress. "He'll have the same please."
The waitress nods taking our menus and leaving us in awkward silence.
"So what, 2 weeks till U.S. Championships," Kierra stammers trying to break the silence.
"Yeah," I whisper. "So let me think you'll be up there with your gold followed by who, Karen Chen?"
Kierra laughs. "Maybe, no guarantees. And you'll be up there with your gold followed by Vincent and then what was his name, Nathan Chen?" Kierra smirks.
Laughing we sit in a comfortable silence our fingers touching on the table.
The weird thing is that it feels right.
The waitress suddenly returns placing our food on the table.
I stare at it, I can't eat any of it.
Kierra stares at me telling me I have to eat.
I pick up a fry in between my fingers trying to think how many calories are in it before taking a bite in it.
I feel like I'm going to be sick.
"It's fine," I whisper to myself.
"Pardon me?" Kierra asks.
"Nothing," I whisper.
I finish half of my fries and my entire hamburger.
Shocked at myself I stare down at the rolls of fat.
Disgusting.
Pathetic.
Worthless.
"Is something wrong?" Kierra asks concern in her eyes.
"I need to go to the bathroom," I state quickly running away from the table trying to hold back the tears in my eyes.
I lock the door behind me and this time I don't even have to shove my fingers down my throat.
I throw up naturally.
Flushing the toilet and wiping away my tears I feel empty.
I feel light and perfect.
Washing my hands I walk back to the table ignoring the concerned glances from everyone else.
"You're okay?" Kierra asks nervously as she grabs my hand weaving her fingers into mine.
"Yup," I say popping the p and paying. "I'm perfect."
Inside something screams for me to tell her that I'm not okay. I want her to help me.
But I can't do that.
It's fine.
Kierra's POV
I stare down at the thousands of texts and calls Vincent has managed to cram into my phone.
Breathing deeply I call him.
One ring, two rings, 3 rings-
"Hi, Kierra," Vincent answers breathlessly.
"Who's that?" I hear Nathan ask in the background.
"I gotta go, bye!" Vincent hangs up quickly.
I sigh staring at the dozens of pictures of me and Vincent and now new ones of me and Alex lined up on my dresser.
Opening Safari I google Alexander Taylor.
Thousands of pictures show up of Alex entering rehab, "Alexander Taylor states that 'rehab was the best decision for me at the time, I think that I was in denial of how bad my condition was.'"
Teary-eyed I Google anorexia relapses.
Almost everything matches.
"He's fine," I whisper to myself even though I know he isn't.
Alex's POV
"Hey," Kierra states awkwardly, I can tell that she's been crying. "We need to talk."
"You are talking," I deadpan packing my things into my bag.
Our flight out to the U.S. Championships is tomorrow and the competition several days after.
"Alex, you stopped eating, you're too skinny, this is healthy-" Kierra begins.
"What I do to my life is none of your business," I state coldly standing up.
"Alex," She pleads grabbing my arm. "You can't keep on doing this to yourself."
"I can, it's my life," I state trying to shake her off.
"Stop, please," Kierra pleads her eyes wide and desperate.
"Fuck off," I scream irritated shoving Kierra away from me.
I don't miss the look of hurt in her eyes as I spin around and storm away.