Niall's Point of View.
The lads and I have just completed the third album. Each time I look at my guitar though, or even think about writing a song, I think back to Keigan. I remember the night, she shared with me her life, and it was one I couldn't give her. How could I tell her her that though? I instead became a coward and made the biggest mistake of my life by running away from it all. I left just after she fell asleep and didn't even leave a note.
The first couple to disinegrate was Sadie and Louis. It ended over the phone with yelling and harsh words that could cut someone deep, if they were sincere. I doubt they were, but it doesn't even matter because he is back to dating Eleanor. And even though they seem like the perfect couple I always glance back to the moment when Sadie told Lou it was over, he replied fine and hung up, right before doubling over and sobbing.
I had never seen Louis sob, and there he was. Bent over himself and all I could think was, is that it was my fault. I had done that.
Then Lila and Zayn followed. I believe she cried more than Zayn, but I wouldn't know because after the silent argument and the echo of Lila's crying stopped ringing in my ears, Zayn exited the room and I didn't see him for the rest of the night. This is when the guilt started staining me. Following me wherever I went.
Finally Samantha and Liam, assumably broke up because they never talked after that day. I refer to it like Randy in "Alas, Babylon" referred to the day the world ended as the day, I refer to the day I ruined everyone's life as that day. I notice Liam doesn't ever react to a girl when she filrts with him. He just sulks in the opposite direction.
Then there is Harry. He sometimes will be caught on the phone with Bonnie, and after all the times he has denied any acknoledgement of that day, and by now I'm sure she knows he is lying. Bonnie continues to call and talk with him. I think it is the only thing that keeps me sane. The small, yet sad, smile Harry gets after talking with Bonnie.
In the end, I am left with memories. She was the one I let slip through the cracks. She will be the girl I will always remember, the one I say I gave up to let her live her life. I look up from my seat in the airport and see four of the greatest guys I know staring at me.
"What are you doing man? What have we been doing?" Harry asks me directly then scans the faces of Zayn, Liam, and Louis.
"I'm sitting here getting ready to go home?" I answer it though I'm not sure what he was insinuating. What else would I be doing?
"No, we're going to New York," Harry announced and all of us looked at him as if he had four heads.
I looked at all the boys and saw something in Liam's eyes that were saying he wanted to do this. I looked over and saw Louis' looking depressed and Zayn was expressionless, which was the most worrisome of the three since I couldn't even read him.
"Why? What's in New York?" Louis said harshly. "I mean, there is nothing for me there. And if there was I had to lie to that thing, which led to a gut wrenching, to protect a friend who hasn't been there for me since the day it happened."
Everyone looked to me and the guilt built up and my eyes turned red. Louis suddenly look mad at himself for his outburst, which was out of character, but not out of line. Then Louis sits by me and pats my shoulder.
"I'm sorry mate. I didn't mean to dump all the blame on you. It wasn't you, it was me who let her slip."
"Which is why we need to go! You all need to wake up and realize that the loves of your lives are waiting for you, they are just one ten hour flight away," Harry exclaimed and he doesn't know how badly I want to go, but the same voice that ys go is also staying stay, don't shake up her life like you have before.
"We can't just go off again, we have to visit our families and be home," Liam sensibly adds, and for once I see him contradicting his own words, the want to go is overcoming his sensibility.
Then I glance to Zayn, he is looking hopeful, and then unsure and brings up, "but we don't even know if they are all still in New York."
"I talked to Bonnie so I know Sadie and Sam are still there," Harry offered but that wasn't the name Zayn was looking for. He wanted to hear his soul mate, as did I. I looked then to Louis who still had his hand clasped on my shoulder. He looked down at his phone where the wallpaper was him and Eleanor. He was questioning whether he should go or not. I patted him on the knee and he finally met my eye and gave me the facets smile I had ever seen.
"We need to go," Harry pleaded and I looked to see all the boys eyes on me. I had forgotten I hadn't said much, in fact almost nothing at all. I nodded before saying, "let's go."
Liam may have famed disappointment but I could tell he was just hiding his nerves upon meeting Sam again. I was worried we would get there and all the paparazzi would ambush and then I would never be able to win over Keigan. I don't even think I could win her over now.
We boarded, flew, and landed in New York and the energy hit just like it had all that time ago, only this time I was hopping up and down excited, I was nail biting nervous. All the other boys seemed to be that except Harry who began scanning the crowd once we cleared customs.
"Who you looking for, Harry? Is your bird meeting us here?" Louis teased.
"Nope, but I am looking for the guy who will be driving us to the bar," he answered and I looked at him like he was nuts. Only Louis could drink, the rest of us were nineteen and twenty. He finally met my gaze once he was done scanning the crowd.
"It's where they work," he clarified. Although Liam seems still confused and skeptical.
"How did they get a job at a bar?"
"It's America," Harry answered before rolling his luggage towards a man holding a sign that said Barry. I had to crack a smile as did the rest of the boys. When we drove through the city all I could do was hold my breath. I wanted to take in the beautiful city, but instead I was drumming my fingers incessantly. Finally he pulled up to the pub entitled 'Arcion' which looked like one of those classy pubs you go in, only to meet someone, not to get wasted.
The driver dumped our luggage on the sidewalk and I looked up and the rugged curb appeal. I then noticed a man at the door. We all approached him.
"Um, do you know Bonnie, by chance?" Harry asked innocently and the nthe man looked up and his happy to help face turned into an evil scowl.
"What do you want now?" he asked and we all were taken back, "haven't you caused enough damage to them already? Let themm move on."
"Excuse me, who are you?" Louis boldly asked.
"I'm Daniel, the first guy they have trusted who hasn't run out on them," he said which relays stung. Although, the judgemental attitude was not helping us get anywhere.
"Um does Lila, work here?" Zany finally spoke and we saw they guy smirk.
"No, she is back in Ponce," and his snide remark made Zayn suddenly become the most depressed one here.
"Only for the weekend!" a small voice muffled by the door called. Then the red door opened to reveal Bonnie with a black headset looking very official. Then she announced, "Danny, stop. Zayn, she is only inn Ponce for the weekend, she'll be back on Monday." Suddenly Zayn's whole body language changed as if the sun finally rose after an eclipse.
Immediately Bonnie walked over to Harry who hugged her affectionately.
"So you boys want to come inside, have a drink. Don't worry, we won't tell and it looks like you all could use one. Even you Liam," she said while leading us into the huge bar decked with black marble floors and a stage in the left corner.
"Hey Bon-bon have you seen the papers for-" Sam had come out from behind the curtain only to be met by five guys, one her ex-boyfriend, and she originally intended to get help with some papers. "What is going on here?"
"Don't be mad, Harry and I thought we should all get together again," Bonnie admitted and now we know where the plan came from.
"You could have at least told so I knew when to take the day off," she said and then I knew this wasn't going to be a friendly visit and Liam shrunk behind the group. Then Sadie walked in with Danny pinching at her butt and they seems pretty cozy, oh god. I looked over at Lou and he was turning red.
"Sades, look who decided to show up," Sam called while hopping off the stage, the minute her eyes met ours she turned angry and marched right up to me.
"You are the reason Keigan could only cry for three days, how stupid can you be? God! And then she went through the silence where she never left her room and we were afraid she wasn't eating so we had to break into her room to find her unconscious and I thought my friend was dead!" she yelled and I felt a tear roll down my cheek and that's probably why she stopped.
"Hey lay off, Sades," Louis defended.
"Only my friends call me Sades, not jerks who lie to me and then go back to their ex-girlfriend after they have only been broken up for three weeks!" she yells back.
"Hey, you should have seen how gutted he was once you broke up with him. He was sobbing on the floor and men don't sob. He couldn't move," Harry spoke up and Louis shifted uncomfortably while Sadie looked away.
"What about you Liam? What happened to you?" Sam asked looking concerned and almost as if she expected he didn't have an answer.
"He was too busy, with me at the pub. Either drinking with me or cleaning my puke," Zayn said and I looked at him with sorry eyes. I never knew that is what was going on and if I had I may have been in an even worse mental state than I already was.
Suddenly it went deafening silent, everyone was looking at eachother.
"Listen, we brought you all together because we used to be such great friends. Why should that change all because of one sad event?" Bonnie asked.
I looked over their faces before speaking up, "that event was the biggest mistake of my life that sadly ruined all of yours."
On this admittance to fault I noticed that even though Sadie pointed the finger at me before, she probably thought I didn't really see any fault when in reality I took all the fault.
"I'm the reason Keigan became so devastated, why all your relationships fell through, why Zayn and Liam went drinking, why Louis was and still is a broken mess, why we have to have two friends plan for us to meet. It is all my fault," I explain before Zayn comes up and envelops me in a hug and I sniffle realizing I had been crying all this time.
I noticed Sadie and Sam's expressions had become softer, but they still saw me as the horrible boyfriend who walked out on their friend after her first time.
"So, where is Keigan?" Liam asked looking towards everyone. And my window of hope opened up in my chance to see her and win her over they way I had pictured it.
"She is in the philharmonic now, touring," Daniel again stated with his smirk that was starting to get on my nerves.
Everyone eyed me and saw my eyes probably fall to the floor, my window was already closed.