Song for chapter- Call Out My Name, The Weeknd
One month later
Ethans POV
I missed her. I missed her more than I have ever missed anything.
My angel, my princess, my everything.
A broken boy who never thought he would find love, found it.
Now it's gone, taken from me in an instant.
The rush of sadness that fell over me was terrible. A sadness, a pain. I had never felt it before.
Grayson was sad, for the both of us.
I was always telling him to make sure she was okay, telling him to constantly check on her.
He saw I was willing to do anything to her and to care for her, to have her in my arms again, to see how much I love her.
"Give her time."
The three words that always slipped his lips when I mentioned her.
The three words that were slowly killing me.
I haven't resorted back to smoking, but an occasional drink is slipped from the cabinets.
Only one had slipped past the entrance of my lips.
For each time the burning liquids bottle touches my lips, I can't do it. I think of Autumn, how dissappointed she'd be in me.
If I broke myself again, she'd break more.
When times were tough, I found her. She fixed me, healed my cracks back together.
She saw how broken I was the second I saw her, she read me like a childrens book.
Times were rough for her, yet she loved me unconditionally.
When times were rough for her, I loved her with every fiber of my being.
I knew my past would catch up to me, yet in those times, I lived too into the moment.
My stupid decisions ruined my happiness.
I can never hurt her again.
My fist collided with my bedside lamp, punching it off the table and onto the floor.
The bulb shattering sounding like the sound of my heart being broken.
Tears welled in my eyes.
An act of violence wasn't going to fix me.
I heard the door knob, Grayson coming in, his face etched with worry.
I now sat on the edge of my bed, head placed into my palms, elbows resting on my knees.
I was sad. Heartbroken.
I never thought I would feel a heart breaking this powerful, this deep.
I guess that's when you know what you had was a true form of love.
"Ethan." He went over to the lamp and knealt by it.
"I want her to stay. I want to hold her in my arms. I want her in my life now, in college, in forever." My thought escaped my lips in a pained whisper.
I want her always.
"I know." He got up and put the pieces of the once put together glass lamp into my trashcan.
"You don't." I got up, stretching my back. "You have no idea the amount of pain I feel. You never will."I sat down at my desk, the blue ink pen I used to write her first letter entering the hold of my hand. "Now get out."
"E,"
"Leave me alone!" I snapped and pointed to the door.
He took the trashcan and left, but I saw the sad glance he gave me as the door closed behind him.
I placed a piece of perfect white paper underneath my hand.
I would write to her and give it to her at graduation.
It's all the time I can allow us being apart.