I opened my eyes and it was almost pitch black with just the slightest bit of light creeping through my closed curtains. There was a warm weight on my chest that I couldn't quite recognize. I blinked a few times confusedly as I looked down without sitting up.
There I saw a familiar boy curled up against me. I smiled to myself for a few seconds as I just admired Marc's beauty. I brushed a few strands out of his face and kissed the top of his head as he began to stir. He yawned and sat up next to me.
"Mornin, Babe."
I blushed.
"Morning,"
Wait. I thought Marc left last night before I went to bed. Also, babe? Since when were we together? Why was this so casual?
...
Who cares?
I feel like I'm in my own personal heaven at the moment.
I sat up next to him and leaned in to kiss him.
////////////////////////////////////
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"Nathaniel!
Sweetie, you need to wake up it's almost 11!" I heard my mother's voice yell.
I opened my eyes (for real this time) to find myself hunched over my keyboard and still in my school clothes from the previous day. I sat up and arched my back to stretch.
I studied my computer screen to try and read the screen on its lowest brightness.
'Are you apart of the LGBT community? (quiz)'
Oh, yeah. That's right, I'm in the middle of a sexuality crisis. All because of that amazing moment where I touched Marc's hand. It truly seemed like the best moment of my life.Wait...why was it the best moment of my life? Did I actually have a thing for Marc? I couldn't possibly...
After the dream I just had, it was probably more likely than not.
"Nathaniel!" Mom called once again.
"One second!" I called back.
I needed to talk to someone about what I was feeling. I needed advice. I didn't care what it was, just another opinion would help. I only have one other friend that truly understands me and has her shit figured out. I headed out of my room not bothering to change or even try to look tame.
I walked through the kitchen, passing my Mom on the way on the way to the door. She was sitting at the kitchen island with a coffee in hand. She wore a white long-sleeve shirt and jeans. Her short normally curly brown hair was straightened. She had been awake for a while since she had her contacts in, making it easy to see her icy blue eyes. She normally intimidated me but, for some reason today everything seemed off.
"Good Morning Mom," I said as I grabbed my blue satchel bag from beside the door.
"Where are you going this early Nath?"
"Oh-, I'm just going to hang out with Alix for a bit...if that's okay?" I stated.
I knew what question came next and I dreaded it.
"Why? What are you two going to be doing there?" she asked in a suspicious voice.
How could I possibly explain myself? What should I say in this type of situation?
If I were, to be honest, I would've had said something along the lines of: "Oh, I need to talk to Alix because I'm questioning my sexuality and I need another opinion because I'm possibly falling in love with one of my best friends!
Don't worry, I'll probably figure everything out though."
This was one of those cases where I lied.
"Uh, well, We're just going to hang out there for a bit. I like having people around when I draw,"
My mom looked at me suspiciously. I could tell she probably didn't buy it. I thought the conversation had ended so, I turned and put my hand and the doorknob to leave.
"Wait. Before you leave, I have a question I need to ask you, " she began.
I turned back around to look at her.
"Do you have a crush on Alix?"
Fuck it.
"Yeah...I don't know how you managed to find out," I replied in a convincing tone.
She slyly grinned to herself "I knew it, don't let me hold your relationship back! Go on ahead. Just be home before 2,"
I smiled at her and ran out the door as fast as I could.
About a half an hour later, I was in the Louvre with Alix skating around me.
I had avoided the topic that was on my mind.
I wanted to talk about it but, I didn't know how to start a conversation like that. It was funny to me that I came with her here to talk out my internal panic yet, didn't want anything to do with it.
"All right bitch, what's up with you?" Alix demanded as she came to a stop in front of me.
That was my cue.
"Well-,"
What was I supposed to say? Do I just go on right ahead and say it? Do I subtly hint at it?
"You know what, I'll just get right to the point...," I gulped.
That couldn't have been any more of an abstract answer.
"What are you talking about?" Alix asked as she came to a stop in front of me.
"Alix...I think I like boys...," I confessed looking away from her.
I knew she wouldn't really care but, there was still fear deep down. For God's sake, she was even Ace-Aro! She was in the LGBTQ community!
"So, you think you're gay?"
"No!" I yelled probably a little too aggressively.
"Calm down. It's fine," she retorted crossing her arms.
"I just...I like the thought of kissing boys as much as I like the thought of kissing girls. I don't know if I'm Bi or Pan or whatever all I know is I like boys and I'm confused sexually," I explained.
"Just out of curiosity, what caused you to be sexually confused?" she asked.
Images or Marc passed through my mind. The quick second when I touched his hand, the dream I had of him and me, the endless thoughts I've had of him. They all flashed through my mind at the same time causing me to blush furiously.
"Holy fuck! You totally have a crush on Marc!" She concluded.
I somehow blushed even harder than I already was.
"Y-yeah...I do..." I admitted.
"I can't believe it,"
"That I have a crush on Marc?" I asked.
"No, that I just made 25 bucks. I can't wait to rub that shit in Kim's face!" she declared proudly.
"W-wait. Alix..."
She looked over to me confusedly. "What?"
"Please don't tell Kim. I really don't want anyone else to know yet," I begged.
"Fine but, when I finally get to, I'll be fucking rich," she said as she pulled me into a hug.
How did I end up with such an amazing best friend?
—————————-—————————-———————
A/N: Nathaniel's gay panic is finally over! I wonder how he'll change when he's around Marc?
Wow, there's actually so much dialogue in the chapter.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
(Also look forward to chapters 4-6 in the next few days)
UNTIL NEXT TIME,
Later ✌︎('ω')✌︎
Edit: 12/23/18
Holy shit this chapter is so much better than it used to be. I might've just deleted 50% of the comments on this chapter but, holy fuck. This is so much better.