I'm changing Maya's birthday date.
•••
"Hey," someone said, and I batted my eyes open. I saw Lucas' face hovering on top of mine, but quite oddly, it didn't take me by surprise. "You've been sleeping until 11 am, wake up already."
"Like I said, you make a terrible babysitter," I said, sitting up. "You have to wake me up earlier than this." Lucas stood up as I threw off my covers. "I couldn't stop having nightmares."
"About the movie?" he asked.
"No, about Dexter and Aspen," I said. He looked surprised for a second and slightly grinned.
"You're pretty caring," he said. "Even though they don't like you." I shrugged. "I told Pearl she didn't have to come home today since she was there yesterday. That's okay, right?"
"No, that's fine," I said. "She was really helpful." I went into the washroom to do my hair, brush my teeth, and replace my PJs with a t‐shirt and baggy capris.
I walked downstairs and ate what was left on the counter. Stupid Lucas was making me eat salad for breakfast. It tasted pretty good, though. The cookies yesterday turned out good, too. I made the assumption that Lucas was a good cook. See what I mean? That popular guy was good at everything.
After I was done eating, I walked into the living room where he was playing the piano. He was attempting to play the entire song, Love Me Like You Do, and he was doing pretty good. He would mess up at times, but he kept trying. Finally, he turned around and saw me watching him play from behind.
"Did you finish eating the salad?" he asked me, simpering.
"It was good, okay?" I said, rolling my eyes and grabbing a chair to sit next to him. "Are you done with the song, completely?" He shrugged and nodded at the same time, starting with a few lines.
"I want to play it for you," he said.
I nodded as he struck a few random notes and put his hands in position. He started to play the intro of the song and I smiled. I pondered whether to sing along or not. But when the beat rose and it was time for the lyrics, I slowly began to sing, too. Lucas tapped the last note and looked at me. God, I didn't even know if I sounded good. I just knew the lyrics word for word and I didn't even know if he wanted me to sing.
"Sorry‐"
"Wow‐" we both said at the same time.
"That was amazing," Lucas said, brushing through his hair and grinning at me. "You should join choir or something. You sound like a popstar."
I shook my head, pressing my clasped hands on my lap. "No, you're the popular one," I said. "Singing isn't something I particularly enjoy doing, or something I do in general. It's definitely not going to be my career if I had a choice."
Lucas turned his piano chair so he was facing me. "Remember I told you even though you can't learn to play the guitar, in the end you know you're really good at singing?" he said. "You're doing better in guitar, and we've already started practising my song."
"You know one difference about me and you?" I said. "You're really motivating and I'm not. I'm not exactly engaged in much stuff and I suck at social skills."
"You're doing fine with me," he said, holding my gaze. I felt a little jittery and pried my eyes away. "Look, you can tell me anything. That's what I'm saying. Okay?" I bit my lip and looked at the piano keys. Lucas knew exactly how to read me, didn't he? Why did he have to be a friendly, smart, and talented jerk at the same time?
"Okay! So, do you want to play something?" I said, trying to break the silence.
Lucas grinned and put his palms against the chair on either side of him. "Alright. I have three different types of laptops, three different types of video games, and four types of Apple devices," he said. "One is a lie."
"What a show off," I said and he rolled his eyes. "Three video games since I've only seen the PlayStation in your room."
He shook his head. "I have two more stashed away. I only have three Apple devices," he said. "The iPad, the iPhone, and the Mac Book." Of course. I tried to think of what to say and rubbed my head.
"Okay, so, I've never eaten cotton candy before, never eaten chocolate ice‐cream, and never played Tic‐Tac‐Toe," I said. Lucas mouth was hanging opening by the time I finished.
"All of them are a bunch of lies," he said and leaned over. "You're such a liar." I shook my head vigorously and he sat back. "What the heck? Is it never eaten chocolate ice‐cream, because that's my favorite and it's a really popular flavor."
"Sadly, you're right," I said. "I don't like chocolate ice‐cream. But I've never had vanilla before.That's for sure." He looked at me like I was an alien and I smiled. "I don't like ice‐cream that much."
"You've never played Tic‐Tac‐Toe?" he said. I shook my head and he got up. He dragged me to the family room and he took out a paper and pencil. Oh, I think I know where this is going.
"Okay, you don't have to," I began, but then thought, what's the use? Lucas took a minute to explain the game to me and started playing. It was a really quick and brief game, and Lucas won all the time since he knew the strategies. He didn't even show mercy on me since it was the first time I'm playing.
"And you've never eaten cotton candy before?" he asked me, twirling the pencil between his fingers.
"You're not buying me cotton candy," I said bluntly.
"Of course not. Until you earn it," he said. "By playing Differences."
"I don't want to play that stupid game now," I said annoyed. Lucas rolled to the Mac Bookand went online. He typed in Halloween Carnival timings, and leaned back against the swivel chair.
"Since Pearl's not gonna be here, we can go to the carnival. You've never went to this one right?" he suggested. I looked at the screen and had no clue what carnival it was. "They have aspecial event just for Halloween and they're extending it through the weekend, too. It starts at 5:00pm, and ends at 12:00 pm."
"And why are we going there?" I asked him.
"Three reasons," he said, turning on the chair to look up at me. "1﴿ So you can eat cotton candy. 2﴿ So you can eat hot dogs. 3﴿ So you can go on a Ferris Wheel." Wow, he's making me turn all my differences into similarities. But these were all minor differences that I'm sure wouldn't affect anybody.
"How would I repay you back?" I said.
"We can play Differences later to make up for it," he said. He stood up and walked out of the living room. I sat on the swivel chair, staring at the laptop blankly. "Let's practice the guitar!" he called and I rose.I shut down the laptop and closed it, leaving the room.
•••
We left the house at 6 pm for the carnival, and I was really glad it wasn't that cold. It was November 1, and my birthday was coming up in several weeks. I didn't tell Lucas, though. I probably shouldn't. The carnival we went to was bustling with people and still had that Halloween aura. I smelled BBQ, heard laughter and chatter, and saw different decorations and event‐stalls around the carnival. It was different from the Quebec carnival, so it was obviously something new.
"What do you want to do first?" Lucas asked me, putting his hood up.
"Well, I don't know anything, so..." I said. I spent most of my time looking around as Lucas grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd.
We stopped at a hot dog stand and Lucas made me eat it. I told him I didn't like it and he said I was a weirdo. We played several games, like bobbing for the apples and carving small pumpkins, and Lucas made me eat all kinds of things I've never eaten before. I found myself enjoying as the sky darkened and the number of people decreased in the carnival. The last game we were playing was bobbing for the worms, which was a little different from bobbing for the apples. There was an aluminum plate with one or more gummy worms in whipped cream.
"I'm gonna do so bad," I murmured, bending over the plate. "I hope you get it up your nose."
"I wish this was vanilla," Lucas said, sighing playfully.
When the gun shot sounded, all the participants ducked down with their hands clasped at their back. I've never tasted whipped cream before, so it was a first for me. I had to dig my face into the cream in order to find the worm. Someone ate the worm first and there was a ding, ding, ding to let us know. I was dead last at finding the worm, and I stood up straight, and smiled a little.
Everyone's face had whipped cream on it and I looked around, wondering where Lucas was. Apparently he was the winner and he was up front, getting the choice of a prize. I sighed and sat at a nearby plastic chair, wiping the cream from my nose and cheeks. Once I collected majority of the cream, Lucas came back with one hand behind his back. I stood up, giving him a quizzical look.
"I thought for sure you were gonna laugh," he said. "You looked like you were almost gonna laugh a while ago."
I rolled my eyes. "Maybe your heart is just made out of ice. I mean, after all, you're Maya Hart, right?"
"Excuse me?" I said, my eyes cold. I looked at my hands and slapped the cream onto his cheeks. He stood there in shock and I smirked in victory. "Asshole," I said.
"You're such a bitch," he said. I turned to clean myself up but he held my wrist and turned me around.
"Here," he said, bringing out a globe. I stared in shock as I looked at the Halloween globe in his hand, it had a little hat sitting on top of it with a dangling pendent.
"What is...this for?" I asked him.
"Don't you collect those globes from special events? I found this on the prize stand and decided to give it to you," he said. "After all, aren't you that creepy girl that sat in front of a wall in music class?"
"Jerk," I said. "But thank you.". There was a booth to wash our hands and clean our faces.
After I was done wiping my hands, I took the globe from Lucas and looked at it. I shook it and saw little black pieces of tissue which I assumed were supposed to be the bats. The carnival was pretty much empty since it was already 11:30 pm. Lucas finally took me to the Ferris Wheel. There was no one there, so we were the only two to climb on. It was kind of quiet up there. I wasn't very fond of heights, so my stomach was rising and dropping whenever I looked down.
"Do you want to play Differences?" Lucas asked me. I smiled and nodded. "Okay. Do...two differences. One relating to school and the other relating to relationships."
"Can't you think of anything else?" I asked him. His lips twitched and he said I had a time limit to think. I looked at my hands, feeling the strands of my hair sway to the wind. "For school...I, uh,I've never eaten lunch in the cafeteria before," I said. I paused for the next one and looked at thestarry night sky as our cart reached the top. "For relationships, I guess I never had a kiss before."
"Really?" he said. I nodded, embarrassed all of a sudden. "Do you just not like relationships or something or people just not find you approachable?"
I shrugged. "Why would anyone want to be seen with me?" I said. "I can't trust anyone at school. And quite frankly, no one trusts me either." Lucas furrowed his brows. We were so close, that our shoulders were touching. It felt congesting.
"Why would that be?" he asked me. I gulped and emptied my lungs.
"No one understands what I go through," I said, slowly so I'm sure I'm picking the right words. Lucas narrowed his eyes and grabbed one of my wrists laid on my lap. I became tense, and a little startled.
"See? Why do you look so uncomfortable? I'm not molesting you or something," he said, holding my wrist tighter before I snatched it back. "You're so insecure, you know that?"
"Okay look," I said, putting on my fierce face. "You wouldn't want to hang out with me, or wouldn't want to be seen with me, or wouldn't like me if you knew who I really was." That huge breath I was holding escaped when Lucas lifted his hand from mine. We stayed really quiet for some time. Lucas looked a little irritated but I tried to focus on the scenery.
"Why wouldn't I like you?" he said, breaking the silence.
"I'm different," I said, looking down at the dancing city lights cascading beyond our gaze.
"How?" Lucas said, touching my cheek. I looked at him in surprise, shivers running down my spine as he trailed his fingers across the length of my face.
"Why are you asking like you don't know?" I said. "Didn't we play Differences? You're the most popular guy at school. I'm...not."
"And?" he said slowly grinning, his green eyes staring and holding mine. I looked at my palms, the crisp breeze circling about us. "You don't under‐"
"Understand what, Maya?" he interjected. I kept mute. "Understand that you're being bullied?" I widened my eyes; how'd he know? "That everyone hates you? Because if I know, I might hate you, too?" His fingers felt cool as he rested them on my chin, his eyes directly across from mine.
Then he whispered: "Because I don't care."
His face was three inches apart from mine when his eyes dropped to my lips and my heart fluttered. All I kept thinking was how he knew my secret. Did he know all along? Lucas lifted mychin and leaned in, his breath hitting my lips. Before our lips brushed, I pulled back and looked down the Ferris Wheel, feeling hot even though it was a November night.
"Did you just reject me?" Lucas said, stunned in his position. I expected him to be angry but when I looked back, he was grinning. I sighed and tucked in a strand of hair that got loose to the gust of air.
"How did you find out?" I asked him, glued to the side of the cart, as far away from him as possible.
"Dexter told me," he said. I rolled my eyes. Of course. "He told me on Thursday, though. Before the Halloween party." I furrowed my brows. No wonder he's been acting strange. "You know, I tried to make you say it on your own, by picking school as the category of Differences. But you always found other things to say."
"Aren't you gonna bully me now?" I said.
"What? Why would I?" he said, chuckling. "I don't see the reason why anyone would bully you. And why didn't you tell someone? Like a teacher or your parents?"
"I didn't want them to get involved," I said, resting my head against the cart‐door. "I was just worried that, when you find out, you probably will see me differently."
"Yeah, I see you differently," he said, raking a hand through his hair. "I see you differently everyday. I've never known any girl like you. At first, you can be a bitch, then you're sad, then you're angry, then you're shy, and then you're caring. It's like a cycle of emotions even you can't figure out yourself."
"You don't have to lie," I mumbled. "If this is a way to show sympathy towards me, you can be forthright, I won't mind. I got used to it, even though I'm ashamed of myself sometimes."
Lucas took my shoulders and abruptly turned me to face him. "Why are you so thickheaded?" Lucas said, scrutinizing me. "I am being forthright. Why can't you comprehend that even after I tried to kiss you?"
"Because‐" my words died right in my throat when I processed what he just said. The Ferris Wheel stopped as our cart waited at the exit way. "I think we should go," I said, getting up and opening the cart door after I grabbed the globe.
Lucas and I walked out of the now calm, in peace carnival with nothing to hear but our footsteps as they crunched the fallen leaves. A cold wind picked up and I shuddered, holding theglobe tighter. We were silent until we reached home and got ready for bed. Lucas was already on my bed with his phone in front of him. He watched me as I added the Halloween globe on the shelf and turned off all the lights. It was a very tiring day. I slipped under the covers and Lucas put his phone on the night‐stand.
"Thank you for the globe," I said, the only light coming from the window. "Thank you for today. It was amazing."
Lucas faced me and grinned coyly. "Isn't it because I tried to ki‐"
"Can you shut up?" I said quite annoyed. "You don't have to keep reminding me, and I'm aware every other girl might've cherished that moment. But I just want to forget about that episode, so leave me alone."
Lucas laughed and shifted, facing the ceiling. "Good night, Maya," he said.
I hesitated and said: "Good night, Lucas."