Louis' POV
I woke up around 2pm, happy I had managed to sleep in a bit, as I always got a lack of sleep by the end of my two weeks of night shifts. I wasn't a very good daytime sleeper, apparently. Our room was empty, so I got out of bed, not bothering to put any clothes on since Harry and Niall were off to Paris. I found Liam on the couch, staring at the TV, and obviously not really registering what he was looking at. Or that's what I suppose, since he was watching TV-shop, where they tried to sell some kind of sophisticated new sort of bra.
“Hey babe, what's up?” I asked softly as I bent over the back of the couch, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Oh, hey Lou. Nothing much, just watching errrr... TV-shop apparently.” he replied, half a smile tugging on his lips.
I chuckled before walking around the couch and making myself comfortable in his lap. His arms found their way around my waist, almost automatically, while I rested my head upon his shoulder.
“What's for dinner?” he asked while I ran my fingers through his hair. It had been cut by now and was usually styled into a sideways kind of mohawk, but he hadn't bothered to do that today, obviously not planning to go anywhere.
I shrugged. “Dunno, thought we could get some take-away sushi, or pizza or something. Don't feel like cooking today.”
“Sure. That's fine love. If you're hungry, there's some left overs from dinner yesterday in the fridge. Now that Niall isn't here to finish them.”
I nodded, getting up to prepare myself some lunch. Something seemed off about Liam, he seemed a bit distant, sad or worried maybe, I couldn't lay my finger upon it, but he wasn't completely himself.
When I made my way back to the living room, he was back to his normal, sweet and happy self, so I shrugged it off. Maybe he was just a bit bored and lonely, waiting for me to get up. It would get better on Thursday, when I had a couple of days off and Niall and Harry were back from Paris.
The next day, I woke up to a completely empty flat. I took a long shower hoping Liam would be back when I got out, but I was still on my own after that. When I had picked out my clothes for the day and had put a new load of laundry into the washing machine, putting the other one in the dryer, I decided to obey my rumbling stomach and fixed myself a bowl of cereal. It was only then that I noticed the small note on the counter.
“Hey babez. I'm out, don't know when I'll be back, so don't wait for me to have dinner. I'll fix myself something. If I'm not back in time, be careful at work, and see you tomorrow. Love, Li.”
It wasn't like him to go out for such a long time, or at least not without letting me know beforehand. I waited as long as I could to have dinner, hoping he would be home before I had to leave for work, but there was no sign from him, not even a single text message. I decided to text him myself before running downstairs to my bike.
I missed you today bambi... You alright? See you tomorrow. Love ya.
I felt my phone buzz while I was on my bike, so I eagerly pulled out my phone before opening the back door to the bakery.
I missed you too, and love you more. See you tomorrow. XX
I greeted Libby's husband Carl and got to work. It was scorchingly hot in the bakery by the time I finished at 5. I pulled off my apron, leaving it in the laundry basket before I greeted a tired looking Libby who just walked in and said my goodbyes to Carl. Only one more nightshift to go before I had a few days off. I took a glance at my phone and frowned at the message I had received from Liam, at 3am.
I won't be home tonight boo, but don't worry. Will be back somewhere in the afternoon.
It took me a while to get to sleep that morning. Something was definitely off. It wasn't like Liam to just go out and especially not coming home for the night. I would understand if he was with Niall and Harry, but they were in Paris, and I knew for a fact that Zayn wasn't in town either, him and Helen were invited to spend the vacation with her parents. I was wondering if I should ask him about it when he got home, but didn't reach a decision before I finally drifted off.
When I made my way into the living room, I felt relief washing through my body, noticing him in the armchair near the window, a book in his hands. I watched him for a while, his face scrunched as he tried to concentrate. He had a hard time doing so, obviously, as he didn't turn the page for at least five minutes of me standing there.
I went to make me some toast in the kitchen, and heard him get up and walk towards me. Soon enough his familiar arms wrapped around my waist from behind, his head resting on my back in between my shoulder blades.
“I missed you yesterday, and this morning.” I said softly while I was waiting for my toast to pop up.
“I missed you too boobear.” he replied, shifting his head on my back to make himself comfortable.
I waited a few minutes to see if he was going to give me some kind of explanation for his disappearing, but he remained quiet. I didn't want to pressure him, I mean, it's not like he owed me an explanation, I'm not his mother and he doesn't have to report to me where he's going or what he's doing, right?
My toast popped up from the toaster, so I took it and started nibbling on it, turning around to face him. I tried to catch his gaze, putting a finger under his chin to make him look me in the eyes. His large brown eyes shone with something I couldn't place.
“Liam? Are you okay?” I finally asked, rubbing my thumb across his cheek.
“Sure Lou, why wouldn't I be?” the strange emotion behind his eyes was gone already.
“You seem off...” I said, not sure how I should word the strange feeling I got the last few days.
“I'm perfectly fine boo, don't you worry. Don't break your pretty little head over it, okay?” he said, pressing a kiss on my lips.
“Okay. But you know I'm here for you, right? If you want to talk about something?” I replied, still unsure he wasn't trying to hide anything.
“I know Lou, but there is nothing wrong, I promise. Now, shall we have some fun before Niall and Harry come home?” he winked, already taking my hand and pulling me towards our bedroom.
The whole thing shifted to the back of my mind as he was already taking off his clothes before we got into the bedroom. His body was definitely the best distraction ever.
Niall's POV
Harry and I were both trying to keep the volume on our giggling down as we made our way upstairs. We knew Louis would be out working, but it was late and both Liam and our neighbours wouldn't appreciate to be woken up after midnight. We tried to get inside my room as silently as we could before we dumped the suitcases on the floor, not bothering with our laundry right now. I smiled at Harry as he turned around, taking me in his arms before leaning down to kiss me. I moaned at the feeling of his soft lips against mine, and gladly allowed his tongue to get into my mouth when he asked for it. I felt his tongue slip against mine, discovering every inch of my mouth as if it was the first time we kissed like this. I pulled away reluctantly, to walk over to my desk to close the curtains. I wasn't in the mood to be woken up early because of the sun that shone into my room. It was only then that I saw a small note on my desktop, Liam's handwriting on it.
Hey Niall, I hope you had a good time in Paris. I'm at my mum's in Wolverhampton, she'll bring me back around 5, before Louis gets off from work. Don't worry, I'll be fine.
I sighed, rubbing my eyes, suddenly feeling tired.
“Liam?” Harry asked softly as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. It felt as if his tall torso folded around me, leaving me feeling secure and safe.
I nodded. “Yeah. He's in Wolverhampton with his mum. I hoped he would take it better this year, you know, with Louis around and all that. He seemed happier than before. But I don't even think Louis knows about this. Not when he's sneaking back in before Louis gets home from work.” I sighed.
He turned me around in his arms, allowing me to bury my face into his chest.
“We'll talk to him in the morning, okay munchkin?”
I nodded, freeing myself from his embrace after a few minutes and taking my clothes off before slipping under the covers.
Liam's POV
“Bye mum, thanks for dropping me off at this unwordly time.”
“It's fine Liam, get to bed. And say hi to Louis from me, okay? You should bring him sometime soon!”
“Yeah mum, but I don't think he'd want to be there now. See you later, don't know when I'll be coming home again.”
“I know honey. Ruth and I are coping. It's fine. Have a good sleep!”
I threw the car door shut behind me, fumbling with my keys to find the right one before I made my way upstairs. I held my breath as I walked into our room, only letting it out when I saw that I was in fact home before Louis. I just hoped that would save me another round of trying to avoid his questions. I didn't want to bother him with all of this.
Niall's POV
When I woke up the next morning, Harry was still sound asleep and snoring not so silently. I smiled at his face, his mouth slightly opened before I freed myself from his grasp and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Score!” I whispered, chuckling at myself for being so excited about being able to reach his forehead for once.
I checked my boxers and decided they would have to do for this morning before walking out to the kitchen, where I could hear the sounds of someone cooking. Liam, I silently hoped, as that would give me the opportunity to talk to him about hiding all this from Louis, and bottling it up once again. I suppressed a yawn as I rounded the corner to see Louis behind the stove.
“Hey Ni! How was Paris? Did Harry give you any time to enjoy it apart from running around to keep up with his schedule?” he asked, looking somewhat tired.
“Morning. It was great, and I got him to ditch his schedule after only 6 hours or something. Score!” I smiled at him, receiving a chuckle in reply. “Shouldn't you be sleeping? It's only 11.”
“Yeah, I don't like to sleep too much after my last night shift, I won't be able to sleep tonight if I stay in bed any longer. Liam's still asleep though.”
I nodded, not wanting to say anything wrong about the whole thing.
“What are you cooking?”
“Just some porridge. It's been ages since I've eaten that.”
“Sounds yum. And smells delicious.”
“You can have some, I made plenty. The habit of cooking for a family of seven.” he replied smiling.
“Thanks.” the rest of the few minutes before the porridge was cooked was spent in silence, as I watched him stir his spoon around in the pot. When it was finally done, he pulled out two bowls from the cupboard and filled them to the rim with the gooey substance, taking out the sugar and the honey as well.
“Niall?”
“Hmmmyesh?” I tried to reply, my mouth full of food.
“Can I... Can I ask you something? About Liam?” he hesitated.
“Errr. Yes. I guess.”
“I don't know if you're the one I should be asking this, but... I feel like something's off with Li lately. And I can't figure out what it is. But he's silent, and he doesn't seem to notice what's going on around him. I mean, I found him watching TV-shop about bra's, and then the other morning he was reading without flipping the page. And he's been out a lot these last few days, and on Tuesday he didn't even came home to sleep, while he never told me before that he was going anywhere.”
I let out a sigh. “I have some idea what this is all about, yes. But I'm not sure if I'm the one that should tell you.”
He looked scared at my reply. “It's that bad?”
I chuckled humourlessly. “He's not dying, or cheating, or anything like that. It's just... he's struggling, he always is around this time of the year. And he'll come round in a few days, probably. He should just learn to open up and stop bottling all his feelings.”
“Oh. Okay. I guess.” he resumed eating his porridge before putting his spoon down again. “Would it be okay for me to ask him about it? I mean, I tried this week, but he was trying to avoid it, and kept saying everything was fine.”
I let out a sigh again. “Yeah, that would be Liam. You could try to get it out of him, but you'll have to be persistent. He won't let anything slip if he's not a 100% sure he won't get away with not telling anybody.” I patted his shoulder as I got up to put my bowl and spoon in the sink. “Gonna take a shower. Thanks for breakfast mate.”
“You're welcome. Thanks for the talk Niall.” He replied, half a smile on his face. I could really see what Liam saw in this guy. He was nice, handsome, sexy and he obviously cared about Liam. If I didn't have Harry to row my boat, I'd seriously consider competing to be on the receiving end of his loving. If his boyfriend weren't Liam, that is. Bro's before hoe's, right? I shook my head to get rid of the weirdness of that idea before getting into the shower.
Louis' POV
Liam woke up around 1pm, extremely late for his doing, almost simultaneously to Harry.
“Morning love. Have you been up long?” he yawned as he strutted into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“10.30 or something. You okay? It's not like you to sleep past noon.”
“Yeah, just been lacking sleep the last few days. I'm fine love.”
“Good, wouldn't want my bambi to get sick or anything.”
“I'm not. Don't worry.” he smiled at me before kissing me on the lips, softly and lingering, containing a promise for more, later today.
“I would love to nurse you though,” I mumbled under my breath before pulling away.
“And I don't think I would mind being nursed by you. Though I'd rather be healthy when that happens.” he winked, turning around to grab the bowl of porridge I'd prepared for him.
“Ohhh god, please tell me you guys weren't discussing any sexual role playing games.” Harry grunted from the door.
I chuckled. “we weren't discussing any sexual role playing games, Harry.”
“Thanks for confirming that you actually were, now I won't get rid of the mental images for ages.”
“You could always ask Niall to nurse you. I happen to know that...” Liam chimed in, only to be cut off by Harry.
“Tooooooo much information Payne. Save it! No need for me to hear any details about my boyfriends sex with his ex. Awkwardness all over it.” he half-yelled, covering his ears.
“Aaaah, everybody's finally up, so I can now stop watching doctor Phil and start watching my handsome boyfriend!” Niall stated, walking into the kitchen himself.
I handed Harry his bowl of porridge before we all got on the couch, making ourselves comfortable. None of us felt like going out in the drizzle that had been going on the entire morning, so we just chatted about Paris, Harry showing us some of his pictures, and ended up playing monopoly.
Once again it was very obvious Liam didn't handle cheating very well, throwing a fit every time one of us stole money from the bank, or passed a few notes under the table. We all ended up 'disqualified' as he put it, so he won.
“Right guys, we're off to bed, been a tiresome few days this week.” Niall said, stifling a yawn before he pulled Harry with him to their bedroom.
Liam and I had just finished putting all the pieces and bills back in the box when Liam got up to put the box back in the cabinet. I put my hand upon his.
“Liam?” He looked up. “Can we... can we talk? Please?”
He nodded, but pulled away to put the box in its place anyway.
I made myself comfortable on the couch, knowing that this could take a while, from what Niall had told me earlier. He came over, sitting at the other end, his knees pulled up to his chest.
“What's going on Liam?” I started after what seemed an eternity of awkward silence. “And don't even think about saying nothing, because I know there's something wrong.” He sighed, putting his face in between his knees, his breathing shattered.
“You haven't been acting like yourself lately, love. I know you've been trying to hide it, but I know you by now. Or that's what I like to believe anyway.” I scooted over, now sitting right next to him, but somehow sensing I'd better not touch him right now. He still remained silent, but I could see the wet stains from his tears spreading on his pants.
“Liam, please... I've spoken to Niall, and he told me that this occurs every year. What is it about? I want to be there for you when you need me. Although I can see that you feel like you don't need anyone.”
“Niall told you?” he said, barely audible, his voice cracked from his crying.
“He didn't tell me anything, except that it happens every year, and that you never open up to anyone. That you like to keep your feelings bottled up all to yourself. But you'll explode one day, if you keep doing that, you know? It won't be pretty.”
He chuckled at my last remark, but lift his head, staring at the back screen from the TV in front of him.
“It's Nicola.” he whispered, barely audible. “Tomorrow, it will be three years since she was found.” He swallowed as if he had a big lump in his throat. “I've been at home a lot, the last couple of days. You know, with my mum and Ruth, just remembering it. Remembering how she used to be before... before everything changed.”
“Why didn't you tell me? I could've been there for you babe...” I trailed off.
“Because telling someone makes me feel weak and helpless. And I don't want to feel like that any more. I need to be strong, it's the only way to cope with the guilt that rages inside.” he said, his voice growing louder, but still breaking every now and then.
“Liam, it's not your fault. If someone's not strong enough, there's nothing you can do about it. She would've gone back one way or another. Sooner or later. You did nothing wrong.” I moved a bit closer, pulling my knees up myself, so our legs were slightly touching. “And it doesn't make you weak, or helpless.”
“Then why do I feel this way?” he wailed, turning around and leaning on my knees, sobbing.
I slowly pulled him up and made him face me. “Liam, baby, please. Please, let me be there for you. I know you're used to be the one that takes care of everything and everyone, but please, let me take care of you too.”
He sniffled, his breathing interrupted by a sob every so often. “I don't know how...” he whispered after a few minutes.
“This is a good start. Just tell me what you're thinking about, what you're feeling. Allow yourself to let down your guard and trust me to support you. I'm not saying that I can fix everything, but I can be there for you, at least.”
“I'm just so scared that when I open up to someone, they will laugh at me, or they will leave.”
“I won't laugh, and I most certainly won't leave. I love you Liam, but please, just allow me to. Allow me to love every single bit of you.”
“I'll try.” he said, half a smile shining through his tears.
I wrapped my arms around him and we just sat there, silently for I don't know how long before he finally fell asleep, his breathing still ragged and interrupted by the occasional sob. I stroked through his hair for a few more minutes before picking him up and putting him to bed.
Awwwwww. I'm spoiling you! Two chapters in one day! I guess that's to make up for the probable lack of updates over the next week. I'll be finishing at the place I work now, and I still have heaps of administration to finish before I can, and on Wednesday I start at the new place. I'm really excited about it!
So, what do you guys think about this chappie? Not too sad? Sweet enough? I felt so bad for Liam at the end... I should make up for it with more sweet LiLo-lovin' in the next chapter :)
Aaaah I'm so excited right now! Theredsushi and me have both decided to put up some collaboration on a Larry-story, and it's gonna be sooooo cool. Like romantic, and angsty, and somewhat gore. And I won't even be cheating on my precious Leo. Yay. Curious yet? It will have an aquarium in it, and my latest tweets might give something away ;) I'll let you know when we start it :) First we have to get it all like organised and know how to do it (luckily I've got Emily for that, I'm not much of an organiser myself...) and then we'll start writing. Yay! Excitement all over the place! Not good when I have to go to bed for.... hmmm 7 more hours of sleep, that's actually not too bad!
Sorry, I'm ranting, that happens when I'm up for too long. Oops. buhbye now!