JACK
Today was just a chill day to unwind and recharge from our always on the go hectic lifestyle of touring and concerts. Zach and I were chilling on my bed thinking about our future together. "Zach I want you to know that when we're ready, I wanna have kids weather that be Adoption, a Surrogate, I don't care as long as I can spend my whole life with you." "That sounds amazing J, I would that." I could tell, when Zach said that it was genuine and at that moment I knew he wanted to spend his life with me, stay with me through the bad and good. He just had this certain light and spark in his eyes of content knowing that he found the one as he sinks further into my loving grasp. I'm happy that I'm the one, he doesn't deserve me and I sure as hell, don't deserve him.
"Hey babe before we go out and hang out with the guys can we talk? I don't want there to be any doubt between us, ok?" I say thinking that he doubts his love for me, "Babe what's up your scaring me" "Nothing, it's just... I haven't told you the complete truth, I'm bisexual," "Ok..." He replies with his head tilted to the left slightly stunned and clearly confused. "I have an ex, her name is Aspen, I thought I was happy with her but I was clouded by love I thought she was my forever one." I hear a "Mhm" come from a content yet still slightly confused Zach as he nods in my direction, signifying that's he's following me and for me to continue with my story. "Ok, well she and I were happy for a while, knowing that we had each other and that's all we needed y'know?" He simply nods still following along, "So by now we're dating for a couple days we are cuddling on her bed and she says 'I love you' to me for the first time since we started dating and of course I reply back 'I love you too' and peck her on the lips, but as I pull away about to go to sleep that night I couldn't stop thinking about that one moment the kiss and when I said 'I love you' to her, as the moment kept running through my mind for the next couple days, crying myself to sleep every night thinking about it endlessly." I ramble on, "Zach It felt like a curse at this point I hated myself!" Practically screaming as I said this. Judging by the rapid footsteps growing closer I think the boys heard me scream I thought to myself.
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CORBYN
As I was chilling on the couch texting my best friend Christina, I heard screaming dropping my phone and going into shock for a few seconds darted down to where I heard the loud noise originate from with sweat suddenly appearing in my forehead as I continue dashing for the room, it feels like minutes pass when it's really seconds, I hear that I'm close to the noise and end up arriving at Jack's room having to catch myself on the trim of the door frame due to me sprinting too fast. Out of breathe I see my babyboy with Jack I shoot him a very angry glare like I could turn him to stone. I wish I thought, "Babe? You alright?" I say panting in between words because of what occurred seconds ago. I hear a yeah I'm fine coming from the younger boy, letting me know he was indeed ok. I hope that they are just cuddling. "Ok! Just checking!" I say as I blow him a kiss as I leave the room. I immediately text my best friend Christina, I go to her to vent and stuff, everyone has one of those people in their lives and she's mine.
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(T = Christina & C = Corbyn)
C- Hey Tina so I just saw Jack and ZACH cuddling
T- Ok... it's not that big of a deal calm down. Breathe. You guys cuddle a lot with each other it's normal for u guys
C- I mean yeah we do and yeah it's normal but me and him r dating, I should be doing that y'know?
T- Ok...true he's probably is just cuddling with Jack bc he needs to let loose
T- feel me?
C- Yup and thanks I'm probably just being paranoid this whole thing
T- Exactly
C- Thanks. But he's MY boyfriend, he should be with me and not HIM! I can't help but think that he doesn't love me, I need him he makes me happy without him I'm nothing these last few days have been hell T!
T- Oh Corbyn, I'm so sorry...
C- I just can't deal with this anymore!
T- He loves you. If he doesn't then... we'll he just wasn't the one
C- Thanks T, for letting me vent, I love you♥️😘
T- Ofc Ilysm
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JACK
As Corbyn leaves the room I resume what we were talking ab minutes ago, "I keep doubting myself for what felt like years but it was only a few months, Zach after that moment I never felt that I could just give my whole being to someone." "J...it's ok I won't leave you...ever, I mean that and I stand by it!" He says making sure that I know it's true "Thanks boo, it means a lot not only as a friend but as more than that." "Of course baby," he says I as I look into his eyes seeing my home, my all, the one that I can come home to, hold every night... I see my real forever one.
As these hurtful and commonly deceiving thoughts come back to haunt me I start to think that he doesn't fully love me, so I decide to ask him just to reassure me that he does. "Hey" I say booping (idk ok...) his nose playfully but soon bringing down my mood as he looks at me happily, I fear that I'm letting him down and that he's completely oblivious. "Do you love me?" I blurt out immediately bringing the mood down instantly. He looks at me with a 'are you really serious' looks (hopefully u get it again idk) "What are you? High?" He says as he lets out a chuckle, "Yup! Off your love!" I snicker as I laugh at the pun I just made. "But in all seriousness, I meant it when I said I love you!" "I love you Zach, it's just I don't know if I'm capable of loving you!" I'm coming to tears as I say this knowing it's not true, I am capable of loving him it's just that my stupid heart won't let me, it's completely closed itself off.
"My heart, my mind, and just everything have just-" I say trying to form what I'm thinking about and it just not leaving my mouth. At the same time just angry, angry that my conscience can't agree with itself, screaming at the thought. As I try to scream I can't being that Zach has already wrapped me up in his warmth, care, and comfort, knowing what wasgoing to happen. He begins to whisper sweet nothings in my ear,"It's ok Honey...I've got you..." as soon as I hear his voice, I'm instantly brought into this sense of calm and peace. All my worries melting away, he just has the unexplainable feeling of making someone feel loved it. Ugh it pains me to see him hurt once. It just hurts me, it hurts me deep, and it was because of me, my actions mine! My cutting and self abuse! "Hey," I say still in his arms as he looks down into my eyes. "I just hate seeing you hurt, and that it's because of me is worse," he looks into my eyes, up and the ceiling trying to gain composure, then back at me. "Babe! I'm fine!" He says trying to probably convince both himself and me that this is true and that it isn't a blatant lie. He finally breaks... this being the worst... "I'm not fine, ok?!?" He says yelling at me, I know he just needs to vent and let it out so I just listen... "It's been tearing at me, piece by piece, (No? No? Ok...) seeing you like this... my heart can't take it anymore, I love you too much!" He continues.
"Seeing you in this much pain, not knowing I was the cause-I-" he says stuttering between the immense flow of tears staining his face bright red. "I wanted to do something! I've never felt so helpless!" "Knowing you were hurting behind the scenes without any of us knowing?!?" Seeing him break down, it breaks me this being the worst one so far...
"Can you just hold me?" I spit out about to cry overcome by the emotions I'm feeling. "Of course, honey, come here." He says as he motions me closer into the safe, comfortable, warm, accepting place are his arms. I soon drift off being put into a dream-like state calming my mind and putting my body at ease, as I know that I'm safe.
A/n wow ok...feels just feels, plz let me know how I did with the txt convo! I'm not sure I felt like I screwed it up, also look at me! I'm writing over 1000 words! Like...hello?!😑🙂
WC: 1586