I shut the picture that opened to the Gryffindor common room and leaned against it. The smile that was the side-effect of kissing Cedric was still plastered beautifully on my face. It was the first night that we spent together that stopped at kissing. Sure, there was some over the clothing fondling but I'm only human. My back went against the back of the painting and I'll admit I squealed and may or may not have danced. A lot.
Someone cleared their throat and I stopped instantly. I looked up and was met with Harry's amused face. Blushing deeply, I cleaned up what was left of my dignity and strode over to the couch he was sitting on.
"Did you have a good night, Hermione?" His voice was sullen but I detected some amusement at my recent display.
I chewed my lip. "It was... decent." I needed to change the subject before I told Harry everything. "What are you doing up?"
He sighed. "Barty Crouch is dead."
"What? How?"
Not only hours ago did I leave Harry because Mr. Crouch wanted to speak with him. Who would harm that man?
"We were just walking, Hagrid, Ron, and I." He shook his head in disbelief. "Hagrid was reminiscing about us and I just looked down and there he was."
My hand reached out and I touched his arm. "Harry, did your scar hurt?" He nodded. "You think it's connected, don't you? Your name being in the Goblet of Fire and Mr. Crouch being killed."
"I don't think, Hermione, I know." He hung his head. "I went to go see Dumbledore afterward. Dumbledore wanted to cancel the Tournament but Minister Fudge wouldn't allow it. When they heard I was listening, they left me alone in Dumbledore's office and I got curious... as usual."
"What did you find, Harry?"
His hand went over mine on his arm. "Dumbledore has a... a pensive?" I nodded at the term. "The... memory was of a court trial of Igor Karkaroff. He used to be a Death Eater. Actually, I'm not sure you can stop being a Death Eater or that's what Sirius says. Anyway, he was offering names to lessen his term and gave out Mr. Crouch's son."
"I remember you telling me that Mr. Crouch threw his son in Azkaban."
Harry nodded remembering what Sirius told him. "Mr. Crouch's son was the unknown man in my dream at the beginning of term. The one I had before the World Cup."
My hands clasped over my mouth. "What did Dumbledore say?"
"To not think about it, but I can't fight the feeling like I'm missing something." His hands went to his hair as he bent over to rest his elbows on his knees. "It doesn't help that now Snape thinks I'm stealing Polyjuice potion."
"Someone's making a Polyjuice potion?" Things were definitely strange in Hogwarts. I was spending too much of my time stressed out about Cedric that I wasn't focusing on the well being of my best friend. "We'll figure this out Harry. Don't worry about it now. You still have one more task to get through."
Harry nodded again and removed his hands from his hair. He turned to look at me. "What was going on at the Black Lake between you, Viktor, and Cedric? It looked like Cedric was pretty upset over something."
"It's nothing." I waved my hand in dismissal. "Just a misunderstanding."
"Cedric's a good guy." Harry stated while staring at me intently.
I shrugged. "Seems to be. He certainly helped you out with the last task."
He continued to stare at me as if he was waiting for me to tell him more. I got the strangest feeling that Harry knew more than he was letting on. But that would be impossible. Cedric and I were very careful about our meetings. Though obviously the fight between him and Viktor was not as private as we thought.
"You should get some rest, Harry." He stood up and put out a hand to help me up. I took it and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Night."
"Night."
We made our way to the dorms and we parted.
"Eat up, Harry." I pleaded.
He stared at his plate as if wishing all the answers to his questions would write themselves using the peas. The Great Hall was packed to capacity as we all shared our dinner feast. I looked up towards the Hufflepuff table and watched as Cedric entertained his friends. As if feeling my gaze, he turned in my direction and gave me a quick wink. I felt the blush rush up and I dived into my food.
"Hermione?" Ron asked.
I looked up at him impatiently. The smile quickly slid off my face. Our relationship had been rather strained and the last thing I needed was Ronald Weasley messing with my happiness. He hadn't helped with Harry except to have him give younger students autographs. Some friend.
"Yes, Ronald?"
He gestured towards the Hufflepuff table. "Why are you always staring at Diggory? You fancy him or something?"
My mouth must've dropped because Ron was practically sneering. He enjoyed my distress. Ron looked from me to Cedric and back and I could practically see his eyes turning green with jealousy.
"You probably have a shot with him." He continued. "He's been with everyone else in our year. Look at Cho practically hanging on his every word. And Lavender, Pavarti, Katie. You can join in the shift. I'm pretty sure he'll take anything. He'll even use you."
I stood from my seat and both my hands were on the table. "How dare you!"
"Actually, he'll probably think you're young and impressionable since you're always so buried in your books." He shot a look towards Cedric. "You'll be his perfect conquest."
Harry gripped Ron and pleaded with him to stop but the damage was done. Ron had hit in the spot of my deepest fear since starting with Cedric. I was the perfect conquest. My life revolved around the knowledge I took in from books but I was very un-knowledgeable when it came to affairs of the heart. Cedric got to me right at my low point and I gobbled up every word he fed to me.
Making my voice as shrill as I could muster while fighting back tears I stated, "You know the solution then don't you." It was time for him to feel the pain he was causing me. I had stated something similar in our outburst before the dance. "Next time there's a dance get some courage and ask me before somebody else does and not as a last resort! Not that I'll go with you because just cause it's taken you three years to realize I'm a girl doesn't mean the rest of the population at Hogwarts didn't."
I turned and walked away as he called after me. "That's completely beside the point."
But the damage was done. Tears streamed freely down my face as I made my way to freedom of my dormitory. I didn't look where I was going because my vision was blurred. Suddenly, I slammed right into something hard and rock solid. It gripped my arms and through my dismal vision I made out the angered face of Viktor Krum.
"Hermy, why you cry?" he asked. "Something of mine does not cry."
The anger of the previous moments and my ignorance got the better of me and I lashed out on Viktor. He had no right to claim me as his. I was my own person and I didn't need a gallant knight to defend me. By befriending Harry I had been through far worse than he could possibly imagine.
I poked my finger at his chest. "Let's get something straight. I am not yours."
"You are." He went to grip my waist and I backed away. "I told you I feel for you what I never feel before. You're mine."
"I don't belong to anyone." My voice was breaking and I was losing the resolve. "We were never anything Viktor. This is not something I wish to continue. Please... just... let me go."
But I didn't wait for him to agree. Instead I pushed past him and went to the solace of the girl's lavatory. I ran right into the nearest stall and let my emotions take full rein. After this, I wouldn't let myself break again. I had to be strong.
How could Ron say those things? He was beyond cruel to me just minutes before and there was no regret for what he said. Ron had his chance to put himself out there, and I waited for him to take it. Then, he has the audacity to say those things about Cedric and me. He let his own jealousy that I might have feelings for another person effect the nature of our friendship.
The other thing that bothered me to no end was that what he stated was true. Cedric played all the right moves that night. He showed vulnerability, played at my insecurities, acted like a total gentleman, and made it seem like all the moves were my own. But, in reality, could he have been dictating them?
It was no secret how popular Cedric was with the girl's at Hogwarts. Girls trailed after him like lost puppies and he was more than willing to take advantage of that. He didn't even deny that to me when I questioned his virginity. Cedric simply told me he had done other things with the girls but had never let it go as far as it was going with me.
What was special about me?
What did Cedric see that night-granted he was telling the truth-that made him want to give up that part of himself to me? I know sex is different for boys than girls but there still had to be something if he had tons of opportunities but turned them all down until me.
There was also the ever present feeling that I felt more for Cedric than I was letting myself believe. I simply lit up whenever he was around, and his presence calmed me in ways I wasn't used to. He was, in fact, changing me. My fantasies were derived from book no longer. They simply starred a grey eyed god who rescued me. Falling for Cedric would be a grave mistake on my part.
Wasn't it me who limited myself to this mess?
That was beside the point. Cedric Diggory was never going to fall in love with someone like me when he had his choice of the entire school.
I heard the door slam open and the sound of multiple girls entering the bathroom.
"Who does that Hermione Granger think she is?" One girl sneered.
Another girl scoffed. "Harry, Viktor, and Cedric! This has to be complete rubbish."
Girl One spoke again. "The Daily Prophet is never wrong! Rita says she overheard the entire thing!"
I heard the rustling of a newspaper and the sound of the girl mumbling to herself as she searched for spot on the page that would cause even more trouble in my life. I tucked my feet under me to give the illusion the girls were alone.
"Here it is!" Girl One began quoting from the paper. "'Hermione Granger, resident heartbreaker at Hogwarts, was seen and heard toying with three of Tri-Wizard Champions of this years' Tournament. After comforting Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, from his dangerous leap from the Black Lack, Miss Granger went to a secluded corner with Viktor Krum, the champion from Durmstrang. After a heated kiss, Cedric Diggory, a sixth year at Hogwarts and champion, pulled Viktor Krum off Hermione and proceeded to right over the shy fourth year. It seems Hermione Granger has gotten our champions in a bit of a tizzy over her. One wonders how this will affect the turnout of the next task.' See, it says it all."
Another girl spoke this time in a bold, dramatic voice. "I don't think Cedric would fight Viktor over Hermione Granger. He can have his pick of any of us." She paused and laughed. "And well, he has."
"Don't start again, Romilda." Girl Two spoke. "You used a love potion and we all know it."
Romilda giggled. "Believe what you want, Lavender. It still happened." She sighed. "Boy, can he kiss."
I felt my heart break a little. While I knew Cedric had kissed other girls as well as done other things, knowing about it and hearing about it were two wholly different things entirely. I felt slightly better that he may have kissed her while under a spell and not on his own accord but it didn't help the heartache.
"His lips are so soft." Lavender spoke in a faraway voice.
"You snogged him, too!" Girl One screeched obviously upset.
Why was I putting myself through this torture? In the past, I would've made my presence known and put a stop to what they were saying. It was as if I wanted to hear these things. Maybe my trust in Cedric wasn't as strong as I wanted to believe. Of course, I didn't have any hold over him. But I would like to believe he respected our agreement and wouldn't mess around with other girls while I was giving myself to him.
I heard footsteps walk away. "And I didn't have to use a love potion."
The door to the bathroom opened and the three girls walked out. I was alone again and it was then that I realized I was crying again. I needed to get out of this bathroom. While I smoothed out my robes and wiped at my face I stepped out of the stall and walked towards the sink to splash water on my face.
My eyes drifted to the mirror. I was a mess. My face was stained with the trails of my tears and my eyes were puffy and red from crying. I went into this mess as business like as I could to avoid heartbreak and here I was, heartbroken. How foolish I was to think that a set of rules could prevent my falling for Cedric. It was inevitable. Cedric had a part of me no one else had and that was bound to make its mark.
I walked out of the bathroom knowing I couldn't hold back the tears for long. As much as I longed for the solace of my bed, I didn't want to run into anyone. I made my way to a deserted corridor near the entrance to the common room. The stone stairs reminded me so much of my first night with Cedric that it didn't take long for the tears to fall.
"Avis." I breathed as I swirled my wand.
Several small blue birds appeared above my head, chirping. It was a spell I learned in Charms this year. And even though I didn't want the company of my classmates, I didn't want to be completely alone. They swirled above me as I let the heartbreak consume me.
Just then I heard cautious footsteps approach me. There were only two people who knew this spot in my knowledge and I hoped that it wasn't the one I despised at the moment. I watched as his black shoes walked towards me and sat on the step above me.
"Hermione, what's wrong?" he questioned.
It was in his words that I knew I couldn't keep this a secret any longer.