☁︎
Anna
Something was wrong with Namjoon. I could tell as soon as he got into the car. The boys greeted him happily, then continued to rant about whatever they'd been talking about. But Namjoon didn't respond with even a ghost of a smile. He just took a good long look at the faces around him, then slumped into the seat next to the window. I watched him carefully from the car mirror that was placed before me, since I was seated up front.
Namjoon just rested his head against the glass and closed his eyes. I swallowed hard, wondering what was wrong. But I couldn't ask him in front of everyone. So I grabbed my phone to text a simple message.
"You're rapping tonight."
Namjoon stayed still. Not a sound or a buzz came from him, and I wondered if he even had his phone. Sighing, I turned back to the front.
I felt uneasy all the way to Ignis.
☁︎
"Oh! You guys made it," Yoongi said, looking genuinely surprised.
He'd jogged up to us a few minutes after we walked in. Hoseok strode towards him, holding out a hand for a high-five. I stayed beside Jimin, who was chattering to Jungkook and me about his girlfriend's upcoming performance. I narrowed my eyes in remembrance of her. But my annoyance faded as Yoongi looked towards Namjoon, who stood behind me.
"Yo, Namjoon-ah," he said carefully, his eyes serious yet a small smile on his face.
"Hm?" Namjoon murmured from behind me, his voice deeper than usual.
"I heard you're gonna do the rap battle tonight," Yoongi replied.
Hoseok turned to face Namjoon with wide eyes, looking apprehensive. I realized Hoseok hadn't told Namjoon that he'd signed him up for the rap battle Ignis was putting on later. Perfect. I'd been under the impression that Namjoon knew about it, but now, knowing Hoseok, I shouldn't have been surprised when Namjoon looked towards Yoongi in confusion.
"Uh, What?"
"The rap battle? You put your name down, right?" Yoongi replied, glancing at Hoseok with raised eyebrows.
"Eheh, Hyung, why don't you go back to get ready for your performance," Hoseok spoke up, ushering Yoongi backstage.
The two left the rest of us standing a bit awkwardly, as none of knew what to tell Namjoon now.
"What the hell?" Namjoon suddenly murmured.
I whipped around to face him, barely expecting even the slightest cursing from him. His eyes were unfocused, staring off to nowhere. He looked as empty as the day he knocked into me that first day.
"Namjoon," I began quietly.
But he ignored me, instead taking a step back and then turning away. He slipped into the mess of people that were grouped towards the middle of the venue.
"I should follow him," I muttered, leaving the rest of the boy's standing by awkwardly.
I hurried towards the crowd, but stopped suddenly as I reached the edge. It was slightly frightening, the thought of going through such a cramped area. Without Namjoon leading me. I wondered if he'd gone straight into the the thickest part of the club so that I couldn't follow. And the thought sent my heart aching. I clenched my jaw, ignoring the sinking feeling in my stomach. I just had to ignore them. Closing my eyes for a moment, I shook my head and began to shove through the dancing crowd.
Voices bounced around my head as I was physically pushed around. I could feel my head pound as hard as my heart as I tried to focus on finding Namjoon. I knew something was up, and it wasn't just the fact that Hoseok had signed him up to perform. If Namjoon really didn't want to do it, then he would've declined instead of getting so angry. I tried to shove away my worries as I looked for him.
But suddenly, a hand grabbed my arm, and I was pulled toward a tall stranger.
"Hey babe, feel like dancing?" The guy murmured in a drunken tone.
I shivered in disgust, trying to pull away as his nasty thoughts filled my head and drowned out the loud music. His sweaty hands clung to me, and I couldn't shake him off even though I struggled with an increasing panic.
"Let go of me!" I exclaimed as the urge to throw up grew stronger and my head felt like it was going to explode as I tried to suppress his thoughts.
"Just relax," he said, pulling me closer.
Just as I was about to start kicking, I felt a hand pull me back. I stumbled backwards as another body stepped between the random guy and me. My whole body shook, and I could barely focus on what happened next.
"She said to let go, nasty pervert," an oddly familiar voice came from the figure before me.
I tried to steady my breathing as the newcomer shoved the intoxicated man away and turn back to me.
Seokjin?
What was he doing here? Jin looked down at me, a frown on his perpetually cocky face. Before I could ask why the heck he was at Ignis, he grabbed my arm and pulled me off the middle of the dance floor, to the dark edges of the noisy crowd. I stumbled behind him, my head still aching from trying to repress the man's thoughts. I only got bits of Jin's mind as we pushed forward.
Stupid...always getting
involved...Aish I'm going crazy...
"Why are you always grabbing other people's attention, Anna?" He snapped in annoyance as we stopped; I quickly yanked my arm back.
"Why are you here?" I asked bitterly, ignoring his question.
Jin scowled and crossed his arms, seemingly refusing to answer my question in return. I crossed my arms as well, glaring back at him.
"Did you follow me here?" I asked, wondering if he'd really go that far.
I figured he was probably still mad about my switching tables at lunch the other day. It was hard to see his eyes in the dark light, but Seokjin suddenly seemed to go through a strange mixture of emotions before answering.
"Anna, is it really so surprising for me to pursue the person I like?" He asked with a smooth chuckle. "I've given into the chase I guess. You always play hard to get."
His voice sounded strained. I wondered if maybe the blaring music was messing with my hearing. But I shook the thought away, glancing back to the crowd. Now I'd really lost Namjoon. I let out a frustrated groan and sent another glower towards Seokjin.
"I don't have time for this, Kim Seokjin. There are more important things than your little game," I snapped, turning to leave.
But before I could step forward, he grabbed at my arm again.
"Are you really going back in there? This place is filled with crazy perverts," he said, his voice sounding unnatural.
I'd never heard him say something even remotely related to caring about someone other than himself. I shrugged his hand off again, ignoring the various thoughts flying around his and my own mind.
"Stop suddenly acting like you care!" I exclaimed, feeling everything and nothing at once.
The music had gone from communicating togetherness to blaring deafening, meaningless sounds. The people who I thought could be a community for at least the night had morphed into a great big crowd of drunken selfishness. Everything was suddenly so disgusting and negative to me now. The place I'd named my escape was now pushing against me and suffocating me, and I felt more trapped than ever.
It was then I realized that Ignis itself had nothing to do with my temporary happiness when I was there. Rather, it was Namjoon. Namjoon was my escape. He was my happiness, even if it was only temporary.
And now I couldn't see him. And I felt like I would never see him again. And I felt like I could cry right here and now.
Because maybe I wasn't his happiness. And that possibility hurt worse than anything I'd ever felt before.
"I wish it rains all day," a deep voice pierced through my pounding head.
And suddenly everything was silent again.
A/N:
Don't know if anyone's reading this now, but thanks to everyone who's stuck with it.
Mono has given me a bit of inspiration.
(Prepare for too much drama in the next chapter)